Love Story
by EveryDayBella
Summary: Born and brought up in a tiny country in the French Alps, Princess Isabella was safe and protected from the rest of the world. That is, until a young pianist ventures into the palace walls and steals her heart. But what is a innocent princess and her Love to do against the court that seems to scheming against them?
1. Good Riddance Time of Your Life

Full Summery: Twenty-two year old Princess Bella Swan thinks she knows what she wants out of life, a handsome prince to sweep her off her feet and rescue her from a life of service. When quiet, intuitive, pianist Edward Cullen is invited to Court though, Bella's world is a thrown a curve ball. Love may come easy, but life in Court, modern though it maybe, is never easy. Surrounded by scheming lords and power hungry men, Bella and Edward may be doomed to the same fate as every other star-crossed lover in history. As Bella learns more about herself she's pulled between choices far greater than simple lovers, because in her hands rests the fate of an entire kingdom.

Authors Note: Thank you for joining for this edition of Twilight gone AU. I promise there will be more to come. Huge thanks to my beta mlggater for making this readable. Have fun!

**Prologue:**

**Good Riddance (Time of Your Life)**

_**Another turning point, a fork stuck in the road,**_

_**Time grabs you by the wrist, directs you where to go,**_

_**So make the best of this test, and don't ask why,**_

_**It's not a question, but a lesson learned in time,**_

_**It's something unpredictable, but in the end it's right,**_

_**I hope you had the time of your life.**_

_**-Green Day**_

Every girl dreams about her wedding day; red roses, a white dress, her father walking her down the aisle, and most importantly the handsome prince waiting for her by the altar. I'm no different than any other girl. I spent my childhood playing dress up and planning my dream wedding. The difference is that I always knew I would have a prince, a real prince. I thought he would be tall, dark haired, and speak with a funny accent. We would be married in the Coronation Hall, Alice and Rosalie would be my bridesmaids, and my father would walk me down aisle looking completely uncomfortable with all the pomp and circumstance.

So, twenty-two years later and I seem to be getting everything I wanted; a gorgeous white dress and the Coronation Hall decked out in all its finery. My father died eight years ago, so he won't be here to walk me down the aisle. And the man isn't a prince, but he is a lord. Yes, he's tall and dark haired, and handsome enough. It would seem I am getting everything I wanted and eighteen months ago I would have been happy enough with it.

Everything changed though, because I learned what love really is. I learned that love does not come pre-packaged with a fairytale. It turns out everything I wanted isn't what I needed. I didn't need finery or fancy titles. I needed a pair of dazzling green eyes, an honest smile, and an understanding mind. It didn't matter that he didn't have an important family, that he looked like a super model, or that he could play the piano like a god. It mattered that he loved me and I loved him.

Yes, I know, this is the real world, not some fantasy tale. I understand that better than most people. But when I looked down at the emerald and diamond ring on my finger, I can't help but yearn for the fantasy. This ring is my only link to the life I had over the last year.

In my experience, you're only granted true happiness for a short period of time. I got a year of it, I should be happy. But love is a funny thing, it writes itself into your heart and it's almost impossible to erase. They say, "You can't control who you fall in love with", well, I'm living proof of that.


	2. Back From Kathmandu

**Authors Note: **Alrighty, welcome to strange and sometimes wacky world of me. I would like to say that Bella, Alice, Rosalie, and Jasper belong to me but that wouldn't be true. I'm just making them royal. As much as I would love to have Jasper come protect me, its not possible. Sad, I know. As always, huge thanks to my beta mlggater, for correcting my mistakes and making this readable. Alright, go have fun now, I'll see at the bottom.

**Chapter 1**

**Back from Kathmandu**

_**You loved everyone like a sovereign,**_

_**Half magnanimous, half unimpressed**_

_**And I was talking to much, I was tryin' to hard,**_

_**In the dream it was just like it is.**_

_**-Ok Go**_

**BPOV**

"Bella." The voice came from far away; I did my best to ignore it.

"Bella, come on, sleepy head." Shaking was added this time.

Then came the high pitched voice screeching in my ear, "Bella! I swear. I know you've had all the beauty sleep you need. I had to get up and leave the warmth and comfort of my bed two hours ago because of you. The least you could do is get up when you're suppose to." I groggily opened my eyes to find the source of all the commotion, Alice.

"Ten more minutes, Alice." I rolled over and pulled the covers over my face, praying she would leave me alone.

"No, Bella." Alice unceremoniously pulled the covers away, letting the cold air in. "You're suppose to have breakfast with your mother and stepfather, and the rest of the Council in exactly fifty-eight minutes."

I groaned. I missed Bern. No fancy crack-of-dawn breakfasts there. I rolled over to face my best friend and alarm clock, Alice. She was perched on the edge of my huge bed, looking at me with a mixture of sympathy and irritation.

"Sorry, I let you sleep as long as I could." Alice shrugged and her crystal blue eyes softened from their hard edge. She bounced up from the bed, marched over to the curtains and pulled them back to reveal a panoramic view of the Valley of Edelweiss. Everything was still permeated by that pearly grey color that proceeded the dawn, so I couldn't really see much other than the majestic rise of the Swiss Alps in the distance.

I laughed sarcastically and got up. Alice giggled at my irritation before serenely waltzing out of the room to leave me to get ready for the day. I looked at the large analog clock on the wall to confirm how much time I had, fifty-five minutes now. I turned the lights on in the room, illuminating the white marble walls and ornate furniture.

On one hand, I loved this place, The Palace, nestled in a little valley set between two sides of the Alps. I loved the clear blue sky and sweet green grass dotted with the wild flowers it's named for. I loved each tiny town and hamlet that made up my home.

I was raised here, in one of the last remaining European monarchies. The country of Edelweiss is a valley about the size of Luxembourg. It was originally settled by two groups of settlers, one who came across the Alps from Switzerland and the other from France. As a result our culture is a blend of both. When they first came here in the late 1300's, they had found the valley floor covered in tiny, white wild flowers, called Edelweiss. They named their new home after those tiny flowers. Over the years four towns where settled, most of them along the river that divided the valley, several other hamlets also sprung up. My family has been the rulers here since the 1500's.

On the other hand, I hated the pomp and circumstance that surrounded the Royal Family of Edelweiss. I'm a simple girl; I'd be more comfortable in my father's tiny old house in America than here in this gleaming palace, surrounded by priceless works of art and called "Your Highness".

I suppose that's what I get for having a common father and royal mother. I use to spend two or three weeks every summer in Northern Washington just getting to be Bella. I got to do what ever I wanted whether it was proper or not, and I loved it. I missed it a lot too. My father had died when I was thirteen so the trips had stopped.

I tried to resurrect the feeling by going to university in Bern, Switzerland. It had helped. I wasn't anyone too special there. While I was there I was able to go out in the streets without everyone looking at me, or whispering behind my back. I didn't have to dress a certain way, or act a certain way. I enjoyed learning as well, attending the University of Bern had been greatly enjoyable. There where no dull state breakfasts in Bern either.

Alice had already laid out clothes for me to put on, bless her. She knew I would never be able to figure out to what to wear on my own. I pulled on the sky blue trousers and white silk button up, and tried to do something with my long brown hair.

After several minutes spent trying to accomplish an up-do, I gave up and left the bed chamber for the sitting room that made up the other part of my suite of rooms. Tiny, black haired, Alice was bouncing around the room looking for something, while Rosalie sat on the plush red sofa looking though a binder full of dress pictures.

Mary Alice Brandon and Rosalie Hale are my "Ladies in Waiting", but I prefer the term best friends. They are both daughters of lords so they practically grew up at the palace with me. We had the same tutors growing up and when the time came about five years ago to select several young ladies to "Stay with me and look after me" (my mother's words not mine) Alice and Rose had been the obvious choice. Part of me hated that I had asked them to give up on most of their dreams and aspirations just to stay here with me and keep me from looking like a fool. Every time I brought it up though they looked at me like they thought I was crazy. If I was being brutally honest though, I would have to admit that I couldn't imagine life around the palace without them.

Alice is short, something like 4' 10", with short, spiky hair, yet when combined with her excessive energy, she's a force to be reckoned with. Alice's specialty is fashion and she is very good at it. It drove me nuts most days that she insisted I wear only the finest when a t-shirt and sweat pants would have been fine, but she did know what she doing. She also kept Rose and I grounded. Her infusible energy was a blessing.

Rosalie, in many ways, was the opposite; she was taller, blond, and a complete bombshell. Not that Alice was bad looking, she was cute, but Rose was beautiful in a classic way. She was thin, leggy, and curvy in all the right places. Men found her attractive and she knew it. Most who didn't take the time to get to know her thought she has the attitude to go along with it. She can be snooty and rich and stuck on herself, but also has a very caring heart. She has an amazing ability with kids and if somebody did anything inappropriate to Alice or I you could count on Rosalie tracking you down and making you pay.

In short, I'd be lost with out the two of them. Alice makes sure I'm looking the best I can and Rose makes sure I don't act like a complete idiot. We try to have a little fun in the process. I couldn't have asked for two greater best friends.

"Rose, could you please help me do something with my hair? It's not being cooperative again," I whined.

Rose looked up from the binder with her sharp, violet eyes. "If you can't control your hair, how are you supposed to run a whole kingdom someday?" she asked with a smirk.

"Oh come on, Rose." I marched over to her, handing over a brush and bobby pins, and sat in front of her on the floor. "You know I've never been good with hair. Just help me out."

Rose harrumphed and started working on my hair. I took the opportunity to watch Alice bounce around the room, pulling open drawers, pulling up cushions, looking under couches and chairs. She was looking a little frazzled.

"What is she looking for?" I asked Rosalie in a whisper, not wanting to startle Alice.

"Do not know," She told me, sounding amused. "She's been doing that since I got here. She only stopped when she went to get you up."

I smirked. Alice must have heard us talking because she stopped her bouncing and searching to stick her tongue out in our direction. Rosalie and I giggled.

"If you must know," she pouted at us, "I lost a ring yesterday. I've looked everywhere else but this room. I have a great deal of attachment to that ring. I'd really like to find it."

"Well, Bella," Rose asked, "which one do you think it is? That big gaudy golden one Eric gave her?"

"Um, no." I played along. "It has to be that green plastic cheap piece from that kid from France who tried to pass it off as an emerald when he professed his unending love for her."

We giggled at Alice's annoyed look. It was no secret she liked to keep all the trinkets her boyfriends and other men in general gave her. She was even known to wear them sometimes.

It wasn't normal though for her to go into a full blown panic mode because she couldn't find one. I couldn't place the ring, but I did have an idea as to the benefactor of said ring.

_Speak of the devil and he will come, _I thought as I heard the sharp rap on the door. The last partner in our motley crew was here.

Alice waltzed over to the door in a much better mood than just moments ago. She threw open the heavy wooden door to reveal a tall, blond haired man, in a smart dark green uniform.

"Good morning, Major," Alice greeted coyly.

"Ma'am," The smart major answered with a smirk across his face.

"Come in, Jasper," I called across the room. "And, Alice, leave him alone. You had him all night."

Jasper is my Body Man (no, it doesn't mean that), he's my bodyguard. It's his job to follow me around and make sure I don't die. I hate that I can't really go anywhere alone, but I don't hold it against him. Jasper is really very sweet, quiet, and serious. He and Alice have been together for a little over two years now.

Jasper came into the room shutting the door behind him. "I'm supposed to take you down to the dinning hall in twenty minutes," he told me in his deep, soothing voice.

"Thanks, Jazz," I said without enthusiasm. He smiled sympathetically before moving to stand next to the door. Alice went back to tearing the room apart, though she was much more subtle about it this time. It seems that my theory as to where the lost ring came from was true. "There we go," Rosalie said as she placed the last hair pin in place. She had worked her magic again and made me presentable.

"Thanks Rose. I owe you." I smirked as I went looking for shoes.

"I'll add it to the list," Rose snarked as she settled back in with the binder.

I wandered back into the bedroom leaving the three of them to their own devices. I still had things to do. I managed to find a pair of shoes and some dangling silver earrings without much trouble, makeup was more of an issue, but I made it though. One last glance at the mirror and a parting glance at my fathers picture on the bed stand table and I left the room for the last time.

By this time the sun was just starting to break over the lowest peaks, adding a softer light to the harsh inner ones.

"Alice, how much time do I have left?" I asked.

"Eight minutes," she answered. She had finally stopped looking though the room, though from the expression on her face, she had not found her ring.

I nodded. "Do I have anything else left to do?"

Rosalie and Alice both looked me over, checking for any trouble spots with my clothes or makeup, while Jasper snickered from the door. "No, you look good," they answered.

I sighed. "Run though this with me, again. Who's going to be there?"

"You mother, stepfather, the Council, and an official from the Court of Monaco," Rosalie answered.

"Right," I muttered. A Mr. Black from Monaco arrived late last night. Phil supposedly knew him from school and had invited him to spend some time in the Palace. He no doubt wanted to show off to an old school friend about how he became a king.

And because of this, I had to sit though breakfast when I could be in bed. Great, just great, why did I move home again?

"Alright, let's go," I said, dejectedly. Alice and Rosalie both had the good grace to look sympathetic as we made our way out of the room.

The Palace of Edelweiss is made almost entirely out of white marble. Built in the late seventeen hundreds, it has only one level with everything flowing out of the circular throne room in the middle. The halls and corridors were decorated with priceless works of art. The royal family have long been hoarders of anything one-of-a-kind. We were patrons of the arts, spending our wealth on artists of all kinds to come and work in our court.

The halls we had to pass though to get to the dinning room were lined with original Picassos and Monets. I didn't have much patience for art. It was pretty enough I suppose, but it didn't make me feel anything. No awe, no sadness, no humor, no joy. It meant nothing to me. Music on the other hand was everything. Anytime we had a pianist, or a song writer, anyone musical at court, I was the first to ask them to play and the first to applaud. Music forced me feel, to live. We didn't have anyone musically talented here in the court at the moment and I would have to talk to Renee about that.

Much sooner than I wanted, I was broken out of my daydreams by two huge, ornate, oak doors. They were engraved with flowers and my family's crest. These were the doors to the State Dinning Hall. Beyond these doors was my personal hell for the next two hours.

Alice entered first; she would have to tell Renee and Phil I was here. They would then announce it to the room. Such was life in a royal court. You would think I could get use to it as I had been doing this for twenty-two years. It didn't really help I guess. Alice came back after only two or three minutes. She opened the doors wide to let the rest of us in the Dinning Hall.

The Dinning Hall is one of the oldest rooms in the Palace, built in 1758. Its high ceiling meets in an arch over the long mahogany table. The walls are paneled in dark wood and hung with paintings of frolicking animals and cherubs. A wooden chandelier, its bulbs set in a wide ring, hung over the table, offering a warm, gentle glow. The table itself would sit fifty people easy, however on this occasion it was set for only about thirty. Breakfast delicacies from both France and Switzerland were on the table, their heavenly aromas made my mouth water and stomach rumble.

My mother, step-father, and the council were gathered around the table, talking in small groups. I made my way over to Renee. Renee had been Queen now for almost eighteen years. She wasn't what you expected of a queen though. She wasn't very regal or super graceful, nor was she very strict. She was actually very flighty. She'd run off with my father when she eighteen only to come back a year and a half later, a baby girt in tow. She was always on some new kick (health food, bowling, action movies). They only held her attention for about a week before it's on to the next thing. That being said though, she was still my mom. I would always come first in her life. She wasn't much of what you would call a mom but she was a good friend.

Phil, Renee's husband of five years, was the exact opposite. He was regal in the extreme. He wore only the finest clothes, cutting a fine figure in the hallways. He was task minded and goal orientated, he knew what he wanted and how to get it, and nothing stood in his way. I'd always found him rather cold and arrogant, but Renee loved him, so I didn't say anything.

I approached them both where they were sitting at the head of the table. I gave Renee a hug and a kiss on the cheek and Phil a polite nod. I never showed much affection for Phil. He'd tried too hard after my Dad died to replace him. I told him when he and Renee married that I had a father and Phil was not he. We hadn't spent much time together since.

"Bella," Renee started in, "right on time. Mr. Black should be here any minute. You know, he has a son about your age. I wish he had come too. You could have gotten to know each other."

I sighed. Renee was forever trying to set me up with men. It drove me crazy. I really didn't have much patience for dating. I meet a few men here at the Palace. They were all after one thing though, my family's money and titles.

"Come on, Mom, I've only been back for two weeks. I haven't even gotten to meet any of the men around here yet," I joked. I knew all the men from around here already because I had grown up with them.

Renee smiled apologetically. "I'm pushing again, aren't I? I'm sorry, I just want you to be happy."

"I don't need a man to be happy." I smiled, it was an old argument, nothing we hadn't already said. Phil was listening with interest though, and that I did notice.

"Isabella," Phil refused to use my more Americanized nickname, it drove me insane. "Billy Black is an old friend of mine. I'm hoping to open a trade agreement with Monaco though him and his son."

Yeah, I got the point, "Don't do anything stupid, Isabella". It honestly wasn't my fault if these kind of things where insufferably boring. "Sounds like a wonderful plan, Phil." I tried not to cringe as I said it. Phil's plans where never good.

The huge double door opened to reveal a group of men in tight, red uniforms. All were dark haired, with tan skin and dark eyes. The man in front was older and in a wheel chair and the three younger men walked behind him.

Phil held out a hand to the wheel chair bound man. "Billy, it's great to see you," he greeted enthusiastically.

Billy smiled, showing his white teeth. "It's good to see you as well, my friend." Billy's voice was deep and gravely, it was the voice of a much older man.

"Billy," Phil held his out to where Renee and I where standing. "I would like you to meat my wife Renee, and my step daughter, Isabella."

"Bella, please," I corrected as I shook Billy's hand. He grinned at my response while Phil scowled behind my back.

"This is Sam, Jared and Paul." Billy pointed out the tall men standing behind him. "My son, Jacob, wanted to come, but business that couldn't wait held him up in Monaco."

Renee guided us all over to the long table. Phil, Renee, and I sat at one end with Billy and his companions, and Lord Brandon, Alice's father. The rest of the lords sat down at the table. Alice and Rosalie stayed with their parents and Jasper stood by the wall behind me. He wouldn't be joining us for the meal.

Phil and Billy struck up a conversion about European politics that the rest of us mostly just listened to. Renee talked to Lady Brandon about art and what not. I rolled my eyes at Alice, who sat next to her mother. It wasn't until the end of the meal that the conversation turned back to me.

"Princess," Billy looked over at me. "Phil tells me that you attended school in Bern."

"Yes, I attended the university there," I answered politely.

"Switzerland is such a beautiful country. My wife was from there." Billy's deep, somber voice shook just a little at the end. "You must miss it."

"I do," I answered truthfully after a pause. I was beginning to like Billy much more than I thought I would. Most of Phil's friends followed him around like a lost puppy. They idolized him and whatever he said was gold. Not Billy, Billy stood on his own. They had disagreed several times over the course of the meal. Each time, Billy calmly explained his point of view and then left the subject alone. He didn't raise his voice, or pound his fist. He was quiet and respectful, so I found myself telling him more about how much I missed Bern. "No one else knew me in Bern. So, I was able to go unnoticed. It reminded me of being in America with my Dad."

Billy nodded, a smile growing on face. "Yes, I can imagine that was rather nice."

"You have no idea." Alice, Rose, and I laughed. I think they missed Bern as much as I did.

"What did you study?" Billy asked.

"Literature," I answered, blushing, "I like to read."

Billy laughed a deep, rich, rumble. "Yes, I never could get Jacob to read much." He shook his head.

"Why did you come back?" one of the others asked, Sam, I think was his name.

"My mother and Phil asked me to. It was my duty to do as I was asked for my country," I answered stiffly. I knew there were all sorts of rumors about my abrupt move back, just before I started my last year at university. Most of them said that I got pregnant, aborted said baby and returned home in hide in disgrace. None of it was true, though to be expected when you live in the public eye. I didn't appreciate being asked about it at the breakfast table by a complete stranger, though.

Billy must have noticed my tense demeanor because he shot a sharp look at Sam before he turned back to me with an apology. Billy I liked, the others I didn't.

The conversation turned again and I was left with my thoughts. Billy didn't seem like the kind of person Phil would normally associate with. Billy, it seemed, was humble, gentle, and quite, the opposite of most everyone else. Phil must have really wanted something from Billy.

By the time I paid attention again, everyone at the table was talking about the upcoming Fall Ball. It was a tradition in our court to always have a large party to celebrate the ending of the summer and the coming of the winter. It was one of my favorite occurrences of the year.

"You simple must stay long enough for it, Billy," Renee said. "It really is a lot of fun. There's dancing and food, and wine, and music. I have very fond memories of the past balls. It's a very magical night."

Oh, dear, Renee was gushing again. Someone would have to stop her. It looked like it would have to be me. "Mom," I laughed, "Give it a rest. I'm sure Billy has been to plenty of balls. He knows the basics."

Renee laughed with me and apologized, "I can't help it. I just love the Fall Ball more than any other."

"You should come though," Phil said. "Your son is, of course, invited to. We would be honored by your presence."

"Well, how can I say no to that?" Billy laughed. "We will indeed come." I noticed the maniacal glint in Phil's eyes as Billy said this.

After this the breakfast group broke up, I bid Billy farewell, gave another kiss to my mother, and left with Alice, Rose, and Jasper. "Well, that wasn't so bad," Alice commented as we walked down the art lined halls.

"No, I liked Billy. I didn't like his entourage though," I told them. "Rose, I need to talk to Renee later today. Could you see when she's free, please?"

"Yes, Your Highness." She smirked.

We giggled, and began the rest of our day.

**End Notes: **Well, how was it? I know, I know, no Edward, but I promise he'll be here soon. Next chapter though we have Court and meet Jacob. Thank for reading, I'll see you next time.


	3. I am the Walrus

AN: _Alright, welcome back to my crazy world. I own a valentine card with Edward on it. Does this mean I own Edward? No, Meyer calms all. I'm just playing with them a bit. As always much thanks go out to state of delusion for making this readable. Okay have fun. _

**Chapter 2**

**I am the Walrus**

_Sitting in an English garden waiting for the sun._

_If the sun don't come, you'll get a tan_

_From standing in the rain._

_-The Beatles_

"Alice!" I called into the sitting room. "I can't find my red and gold earrings, the ones with the Spanish Roses embossed on them. Do you know where they are?"

"They're in the black velvet case under the porcelain decanter." Alice's voice drifted back into the bedroom.

I rolled my eyes as I crossed the room to the dresser. It seemed like we had something hidden in every corner around here. I'd already torn my dressing table and jewelry boxes apart trying to find this pair of earrings. Of course, they would be hidden under a decanter.

"Thanks, Alice," I called back to her.

I slipped the small, flat discs into my ears and looked at my reflection in the floor length mirror again. My body was swathed in flowing, light green chiffon. The dress was sleeveless but modest, cutting across my chest over my breasts. The chiffon fell to the floor like an upside down flower. A white ribbon tied around my waist added just a touch of color. My hair was piled artistically on top of my head, with a few brown rivulets falling down around my face. A sliver choker completed the look. Simple, just the way I liked it.

About once every other week or so the Royal Family held a court, and today was Court. We welcomed new comers, did public business, and announced important happenings, things like that. Everyone at the court would be present, the Council and their families, foreign dignitaries, and any artists we had staying at the Palace. It was a big bother, if you asked me.

Anyway, it was tradition for the princess to wear green to Court, thus the dress I was currently wearing. Alice designed this dress and I loved it. It was light and flowing, not stuffy and stiff. I smoothed it one last time and walked out the bedroom and into the sitting room.

Alice was wearing a deep purple, knee length dress with white and silver trim. Her hair was smoothed from her normal spikey do. It looked much classier this way. I knew she hated it like that, but her father had made her a deal. She could wear her unconventional spikey hair if she flattened it for Court.

"Thanks for the dress, Alice," I told her.

"You're welcome." She looked up from the sketch pad she was working in and appraised me and the dress. "I thought that color would look good on you, brings out your skin tone."

"Yeah, white," I grumbled.

"Cream." Alice smirked. She was right, I guess, the dress did bring out my "cream" tone.

I sighed. "When are Rose and Jasper getting back?"

Jasper had gone to change uniforms and Rosalie had disappeared, although I didn't know where to.

"Jasper should be back any minute." Alice dropped the pad on a side table and flopped onto the couch. "Rose will meet us at the Throne Room."

"What's she doing?" I sat in my favorite chair next to the fireplace. It was early October, high up in the Alps, which meant it was chilly even during the day, and this dress was many things, but insulated wasn't one of them.

"Her parents wanted to talk to her for some reason. She wasn't very happy about leaving, I can tell you." Alice grimaced. "Pissed was more like it."

"Hum." I tried to remember what Rosalie had talked about recently. She didn't usually discuss her family. She got along fine with her father and two younger brothers, but her mother was another deal entirely.

The Hales were one of the oldest families in Edelweiss. They were the governors of a region of the Valley called Lac Arbre Casse. It encompassed the Broken Tree Lake, the town of Belleview, and the surrounding countryside. The Hales were high standing members of the High Council, which encompassed all twelve governors, or Lords as their are called, of the Kingdom of Edelweiss. Lately though, the Hale's standing had fallen because of a series of bad business deals. The current Lord Hale, Rosalie's father, Tobias Hale, was trying to rectify his father's failures.

Lady Hale was a piece of work. The daughter of a French aristocrat, Ellen Hale was a bitter woman. She hated being here and made no secret about it. She would spread the meanest gossip and shun anyone who didn't match up to her exalted standards. She was vain, condescending, and just a general bitch. Rosalie couldn't stand her. Lady Hale didn't approve of Rose's choice of acquaintances, namely, Alice and me.

Rosalie hadn't mentioned anything new recently, nor did she seem to be worrying about her mother. Nothing that I could remember that would require a meeting with her parents, anyway.

I sighed and shook my head. Rose could take care of herself and would tell us anything important in her own time. In the mean time, I had thirty minutes till I was due at Court and I had a few moments of uninterrupted time with Alice. There was something I'd been meaning to ask her.

"Did you ever find that ring you were looking for a couple mornings ago?" I asked innocently.

"No." Alice sighed dejectedly. "I've looked all over for it. I can't imagine where it got to."

"Who was it from again?" I asked, hoping to throw her off.

"Oh, no, you don't, Bella Swan." Her blue eyes narrowed. "I'm not that easily fooled."

"Come on, Alice." I narrowed my own eyes at her. "I already have it figured out."

"Try to guess then."

"Jasper."

"Damn."

I laughed at her annoyed face. She slouched in her seat and pouted at me. That only made me laugh harder.

"Don't fall out of that chair, Bella. I'd hate for anything to happen to that dress." She smirked.

"Come on, Alice." I gasped for breath. "It's not my fault you're just that obvious."

She finally smiled and laughed with me. "Okay, true."

"So," I began after we caught our breaths. "What's so special about this one ring?"

Alice blushed, her cheeks changing to a light pink shade. "It's a promise ring," she muttered.

I snorted. "You were keeping that a secret for what reason? Everyone that knows you and Jasper knows you two are together for the long haul. Have you looked at the two of you in the mirror recently?"

Alice harrumphed. "Jasper wanted to keep it secret because he wasn't sure it was appropriate."

We rolled our eyes at the same time. "It's because you both work for me, right?"

She nodded.

"I'll talk to him," I told her. Jasper was being ridiculous. I was actually very happy for both of them. "So, a promise ring, huh?" I grinned.

Alice squealed and started bouncing in her seat. "He said he didn't think either of us were really ready to get married, and of course, he's right, but still this is just as good. I really can't wait. I've already started to do some of the planning."

Her words jumbled together, she was talking so fast. "Alice, take a breath," I interrupted. "I get it, your excited. I understand. Congratulations."

Alice smiled blissfully and leaned back into the couch. She looked like the cat that caught the canary. I had to laugh at her contented expression. It was really no surprise Jasper had, in a sense, proposed. I was surprised it had taken so long. I had half expected them to elope. I thought for sure I would wake up one morning and they would tell me they had gotten married over night or something.

I'd be lying if I said I wasn't a little jealous of them. Alice and Jasper had a one of those story book romances. They didn't have to talk to be together. They could just look at each other and know what the other needed. They weren't overtly physical in public, their positions demanded discretion, but you could still tell that they were deeply in love. They were like two objects that were in orbit around each other. It was hard not to be jealous of them. They had everything I wanted so desperately.

"Wait?" I gasped and shot up right in my chair. "How could you have lost that ring?"

"I didn't mean to!" Alice cringed, her satisfied air disappearing. "I took it off when I was trying to fix that stupid necklace, you know the one with the broken clasp. And then, I got sidetracked and didn't think about it again till the next morning when I went to put it on and couldn't find it. I've looked every where for it. Don't tell Jasper, okay. He doesn't know I lost it and I'm sure that he spent a lot of money on it."

Alice looked truly distressed. She knew, as well as I did, that Jasper didn't get paid much for protecting me, and he wasn't a member of one of the high standing social families, so he didn't have access to any money of that kind. Whatever he bought the ring with, he had to earn himself.

"What did it look like?" I asked. It could only help to have more people looking for it.

"It's a thin silver band, set with two blue sapphires on either side of a yellow topaz. Blue for my eyes and yellow for my cheery outlook." She giggled at the end.

"Okay, we will tear this room and my bedroom apart when we get back from Court," I told her. Then, putting on my best authoritative and "royal" voice, I said, "I will not rest till we find that ring, Miss Brandon."

Gales of laughter filled the room as Jasper walked in. He was wearing a different uniform than usual. This one was white, with a hunter green trim. It was clean, crisp, and sharp. It was plain to see why Alice had fallen for the sharp dressed Major. The uniform didn't look very comfortable though. It was starched to within an inch of its life, the material was thick and heavy, and the high collar looked like he could barely breath though it.

Jasper bowed to me, and looked at Alice and I like we were crazy, which, depending on who you talked to, we were. It really only made us laugh harder.

As much fun as this was though, I really needed to talk to Jasper and Alice before we left. I took a deep breath to calm my breathing down. Placing a stern look on my face, I stood up and walked over to Jasper.

"I understand why, but if you ever try to keep a secret that big from me again, I will put you on night duty for a week." His eyes were confused and a little alarmed. Taking away his nights also took away most of his free time with Alice, not that I would ever really take that away. I continued to glare though, and his eyes grew more and more alarmed, his mouth opening and closing like a fish out of water.

"I... I... I don't," he muttered. Alice's tinkling laugh came from the couch.

"Oh, give it up, Jazz. She's just playing you."

I smiled up at Jasper's confused and shocked face. "Congratulations, Jasper. I'm glad to hear you're making an honest woman out of my best friend."

"You told her?" He turned to look at Alice. It wasn't quite a glare, but it wasn't a happy look either.

"She figured it out on her own." She stood and came over to us, wrapping her arms around Jasper's waist. "Really, it was only a matter of time."

Jasper smiled then and pulled Alice into his arms. "I am sorry, Bella. I just didn't think it would be appropriate to announce."

"I understand. I really am trilled though." I stood on my tip toes to hug him, which he gingerly returned. Strictly speaking, we weren't supposed to have any physical contact, unless my life was in danger.

I pulled away and straightened my dress again. "Though, words of advice, you might want to tell Rose as soon as you can. She won't be happy that I knew before her."

I laughed as we walked out the door.

The Throne Room was a large, circular chamber in the middle of the Palace. Its white marble walls were hung with green and white tapestries, most with edelweiss embroidered on them. Columns painted red ran along the walls, one every four feet or so, the tapestries hanging between them. The floor was tiled in green with a large edelweiss in the middle. The far end of the room was raised, like a dais, and on it sat two wooden thrones laden with plush red cushions. A smaller throne sat to the right and slightly back from the other two. A dark burgundy curtain hanging behind them hid the back door and the wall from view. A large crystal chandelier hung from the ceiling, casting a yellowish light upon the wide, bright room.

I pulled back the curtain just a tiny bit, so I could look out upon the room. About fifty or sixty people maundered about. The women were dressed in various colors, their hair done up in ornate styles. Most of the men wore dark suits with red or green capes, while a few of the men wore uniforms like Jasper's. Two guards stood by the large oak doors at the opposite end of the room.

"Good lord," I muttered to Alice, who stood behind me. "There are at least fifty people here. Oh, crap, the Denalis made it in."

The Denali's were the lords of Red Mountain, way out on the eastern side of the valley. It was a hard journey from their castle, to the Palace. It was set on a rock cliff, high up on a mountain ridge, and the mountain sides there where very steep there. Even with modern transport it could be risky, especially if it had been raining, or worse, snowing. Usually just Lord Denali stayed at the Palace, but it looked like Lady Denali and their three daughters had joined him this time.

The Denalis were rich, stuck up aristocrats who treated those below them as trash. Those of us who were above them weren't treated much better, and thinly veiled contempt was what most of us got. Lord Denali and Phil got along very well, too well for my tastes. The two oldest daughters, Tanya and Irina, were the worst. Their sister, Kate, wasn't so bad.

"They must have come in early for the Fall Ball. Ugh! A week of trying to dodge Slut 1 and Slut 2," Alice hissed. I groaned and nodded.

Jasper finally swept though the opening doors. He marched over to the dais, where a young man in green stood. I watched Jasper speak to the young man for several moments before the boy walked to the top of the dais and cleared his throat.

"Lords and Ladies," he spoke in a loud, clear voice so everyone in the room would turn and listen. "May I present to you, Princess Bella Swan and Miss Alice Brandon."

Alice pulled the curtain back so I could walk out to the applause. I blushed furiously. I had to be announced to the room, but I didn't have to like it. I hated being the center of attention. At least I didn't have to say anything.

Jasper offered me his hand to help me down the stairs, which I accepted. My dress was long and I was afraid of tripping on it. That would be embarrassing. After he helped me, he turned to Alice and did the same for her.

Rose broke away from the group of young woman she had been standing with to join us. "Where have you been?" she hissed. "I've had to put up with my mother and then those simpering idiots for almost half an hour now."

"Sorry," I muttered. "Blame those two." I indicated Alice and Jasper. Everyone had turned back to their own conversations and was leaving us alone for the moment. It wouldn't be long though before we would be bombarded again, so I took the chance talk to Rosalie while I had it. "What did your parents want?"

Rosalie's violet eyes flashed and her normally pale face flushed in anger. "My mother wanted to express an interest in my love life. She seems to think that Sam Uley would be a good match."

Lady Hale was like Renee, only ten times worse. She didn't seem to care that her daughter had her own feelings, only about a good match and the Hale name.

"Wait," Alice spoke up, "who's Sam Uley?"

"He's one of the brutes from Monaco that came with Mr. Black. She's gotten it into her head that Monaco blood would be a good addition to the line," Rosalie growled.

"Don't let her get to you," I told Rose. "Parents can't arrange marriages anymore. She can't force you to do anything."

Rosalie nodded and the fire left her eyes.

We spent the next ten minutes mingling with everyone in the room. We were trying to avoid the Denalis, but after saying hello to the Brandons and sidestepping to avoid Lady Hale, we stepped right into the sisters.

Tanya, Irina, and Kate were tall, with fair complexions and dark eyes. Kate had dark brown, mid length hair that curled around her ears. Irina was blond; her hair fell to her waist in lose waves. Tanya was a strawberry blond, and acted like she was the queen of the world.

I glued a fake smile on my face and said, "Hello, Tanya, Irina, Kate. Having a nice morning?"

"Oh, it's not bad." Tanya sneered. "It's not as nice as some, though. I have not really been here in so long, it is not as terrible as I thought it would be."

I suppressed a growl. Tanya thought she was so subtle. She hated it here and we all knew it.

"I spent the summer at a villa in France. It was so wonderful. Irina and I are going back as soon as possible. Father, though, seems to think that we need to spend some time at court and learn the 'ways of politics' as he said," Tanya simpered and faked a laugh.

"How long will you be staying at the Palace then?" Alice's smile looked more like a grimace.

"A couple of months at least." Irina glared.

"A year at the most," Tanya added. Irina turned her glare on her sister and Kate looked distantly uncomfortable.

"Enough about us, though." Tanya glanced meaningfully at Irina before turning back to us. "You're new back at court as well. You have been in Bern for how long now?"

"Three years," I answered. Tanya was being too polite. I didn't like it.

"Oh, yes, of course." As if she didn't already know how long I'd been gone. "Switzerland is such a beautiful country. I can understand why you did not want to leave. Although, desperate measures must be taken, it's completely understandable. Discretion is sometimes the better part of valor."

I gasped. She had not just said that. She just insinuated that I got pregnant in Bern. Oh, she had learned the art of subtlety in the last several years since I had seen her. Alice, Rosalie, and Jasper all gasped audibly as well. Jasper even moved to stand in front of me, between myself and Tanya. I held my hand up and stopped him. I was going to have to stand up to Tanya myself, otherwise she would just get worse.

"Yes, well, we can't all spend time in French Villa's owned by wealthy young bachelors of questionable legality." I smiled. She was staying with a high end pimp and she knew it.

Tanya blanched, her heavily made-up face going pale. Then her eyes narrowed and lips twisted up into a snarl. "Yes, well, this is not over yet, Princess."

She turned sharply on her heal and walked away, Irina following, but not after turning her glare on us for a second.

"I am so sorry, Your Highness," Kate said, after her sisters were out of earshot. "Tanya was completely out of line. She had no right to accuse you of anything."

I held my hand up. "It's alright, Kate. I honestly should have expected that. I've just been away too long. I'm out of practice. It's not your fault."

Kate blushed and murmured, "Again, so sorry, Your Highness." She then left to follow her sisters.

"I knew I liked Kate," Alice whispered.

"I would like her much more if she would leave those sisters of hers," Jasper told her.

"They're siblings, you can't blame her," I told them both. "I do think we need to keep an eye on Tanya and Irina though." They readily agreed with me.

The young man in the front, who had announced my arrival, again walked up to the dais and got the halls attention. "Lords and Ladies," he said, "May I present Queen Renee Dwyer and King Philip." The hall erupted in applause as they walked out from behind the curtain. Renee, as was tradition, was wearing a white dress. Like mine, it came down to the floor and was embroidered with tiny, green flowers. Phil wore a dark suit with a deep red cape lined with gold.

Renee and Phil both acknowledged the crowd before Renee went to take a seat on the throne on the right. That was my cue to join them on the dais. I went to the smaller seat behind Renee's.

Phil cleared his throat and started, "Good morning, my friends. As many of you already know, I'm sure, we have a delegation from Monaco staying with us for a time. It is my honor to introduce to you Mr. Billy Black and his son, Lord Jacob Black."

Applause erupted again as the great doors were thrown open. The first thing I noticed, from what I could see, was Billy, being pushed in a wheelchair by Sam. Billy's white smile was noticeable across the room. Walking next to Billy was another young man I didn't recognize. He was tall, very tall; he had to be at least 6' 9", if not more. His hair was jet black and long, falling past his shoulders. He was muscular, even in the red uniform. His dark eyes seemed to twinkle and his smile was blazingly white, like Billy's. That was when it clicked; this must be Billy's son, the Lord Jacob. That had been a surprise. I hadn't known Jacob was a lord. I had to wonder why he was a lord and Billy wasn't.

Jacob continued to grin as he made his way up to the dais to shake Phil's hand. There was no ramp, so Billy had to stay below the dais. I got up to say hello to him. "Billy." I kissed one of his cheeks. "I was hoping to see you more often than just at breakfast."

He grinned. "I'm glad to hear I've been missed. I prefer to keep a low profile though. I think you understand." He winked.

"More than you realize." I smiled before turning back to the dais. I was going to head back to my seat, but Phil stopped me. "Isabella." I suppressed a scowl. "This is Jacob Black. Jacob, may I introduce you to my step-daughter, Isabella."

I offered Lord Black my hand, which he took and bent to press a kiss to the back of it. "Your Highness, it is truly a pleasure to meet you." Jacob grinned at me, his dark eyes sparkling with life and amusement. I found myself smiling back.

"The pleasure is all mine, My Lord," I answered. I was looking forward to getting to know this man. He seemed a lot like his father, smiling and energetic. He seemed very sweet.

Jacob left the dais to join his father on the floor while I went back to my seat. Phil continued to speak, doing the business of the kingdom with help from Renee. I hadn't been happy when Renee agreed to hand over most of the day to day affairs of the Court to Phil three years ago. It was one of the reasons I had left. I told Renee I was more than willing to start helping her with the official duties, but no, she just gave the cookie jar to Phil. I left and didn't look back, until now, anyway.

When I had gotten the call from Renee asking me to come back, I'd thought something was wrong. We'd talked a couple times a year after I left, and she asked me to come back every time. This time was different though, it was almost like she was scared of something. So, I left my comfortable life in Bern, and came home to find my mother just as fine as she has always been and Phil more in charge than when I'd left. Renee never sounded afraid or scared again and I was stuck for the foreseeable future.

I watched the crowd as Phil worked with Lord Brandon and the leader of one of his hamlets. Alice and Rosalie, who were still standing on the floor, looked about as bored as I was. Tanya I found because of her bright strawberry hair. She was standing in the back with Irina. They were whispering to each other and shooting glares at me. I just couldn't wait to find out what they were planning. The guards standing around the room were still and motionless. Most everyone else was doing there best to look interested and not fall asleep.

The tall, tan man in a dark red uniform caught my eye. Jacob was standing toward the front. I didn't see Billy with him, or any of the other members of the Monaco delegation with him. Jacob rolled his eyes then glanced up to the proceedings on the dais. I grinned at my new common minded friend.

With my hands in my lap, I mimed "talking mouths", I then twirled one finger around my cupped palm like I would around my ear to say "crazy". Jacob's grin grew only bigger, his white teeth flashed, and a couple dimples made an appearance.

Jacob titled his head and placed his hands under it, closing his eyes, so that he looked asleep. He then proceeded to silently fake a snore. I giggled slightly louder than I should have and Phil snapped his head around to glare at me.

"Sorry," I muttered, lowering my head to look at my lap. Through my lashes though, I looked at Jacob. His face was red as he tried not laugh. I couldn't blame him, it was pretty funny. Most everyone else in the room, however, except for a few discrete smirks, looked away with out a second glance. They were used to the Princess acting up in small and subtle ways.

I suppressed another grin then looked up with a more serene, detached face. I was careful not to look at Jacob for the rest of the period though.

Honestly, we where almost done. Phil was finally sitting and being quiet. Renee was now standing, giving her address. She was telling us of the new artists that had been invited to Court. "And lastly, some of you may have heard of a recent Julliard graduate that has already begun to make waves. I'm very proud to announce that the pianist, Mr. Edward Cullen, will be here within the week. I think you will be blown away with his extraordinary talent." With some applause, Renee again took her seat.

Personally, I was ecstatic, a new pianist was coming! The piano was soft spot of mine, though I couldn't play to save my life. This young man sounded promising. Graduated from Julliard and was already popular. I couldn't wait.

Phil dismissed the gathering and that was that. He and Renee went to mingle with the crowd like I had done earlier. Normally, I would have slipped out by this point but there was someone I wanted to talk to. I slid though the crowd toward the wall of dark red uniforms. I found Jacob with Billy, right were I wanted them. "Excuse me, sir," I said, getting their attention. "I don't mean to interrupt."

"By no means, Your Highness." Jacob smiled. "If anything I should be apologizing. I'm afraid I may have gotten you in trouble."

I shook my head. "I think you'll find that I would have just found another way to get in trouble without you. I had a question to ask you and your father though?"

"Ask away, My Lady."

"Would you be willing to join me for dinner in a few nights?" I asked.

"We would be honored, Your Majesty." Jacob grinned, his face bright like the sun.

"Good. I will send you both further details later. Oh, and Jacob?" I asked, pretending to turn away.

"Yes, My Lady."

"Call me, Bella."

AN: _Aw, yes Jacob. BLEH Anyways, I had a bad week so do you know what would make me feel better? REVIEWS. Yes, please, let me know what you think. What I'm doing right (or wrong). Just let me know if feel like it. Edward will being showing up next chapter so stay tuned for that. Till next time. _


	4. Spiralling

**AU:** I own a Cullen Crest wristband, and necklace, and a Team Edward bracelet. Unfortunately, I don't own Twilight. If I did there would have been a lot more Edward and a lot less Jacob. Kinda this chapter. As I promised, Edward. Have fun. Huge thanks to state of delusion for fixing my mistakes.

**Chapter 3**

**Spiraling**

_I'm waiting for my moment to come,_

_I'm waiting for the movie to begin,_

_I waiting for a revelation,_

_I'm waiting for someone to count me in._

_'Cause now I only see my dreams, in everything I touch,_

_Feel their cold hands on everything that I Love._

_Cold__ like some magnificent skyline,_

_Out of my reach but always in my eye line._

_-Keane_

**EPOV**

Music notes ran though my head in an incomplete loop. The notes started and stopped in odd places, wandering in and out of the same melody that had been haunting my waking and sleeping mind for most of my life. It was starting to give me a headache. If I could just get it to shut up for just a little while, that would be great.

I groaned and hit my head against the head rest. Being a musical prodigy really sucked sometimes. I stood up, moving over to the overhead bin to collect my music paper. Might as well try to get something constructive done while I had several hours of uninterrupted time.

I settled back into the window seat, and started writing the random notes down, leaving space between for all the blank spaces in the music. It was hardly the first time I had done this exercise. My apartment back in New York was full of these same pages, the notes were the same, the melody the same, the blank spaces the same. What little I had of this piece was good, it was soft and sweet, but it lacked depth. I had played it to one of my professors at Juilliard. He said it was good, even if incomplete. Each time I stopped to write it down, I tried to fill the empty spaces just a little bit more, but it just didn't work. Once, when I was fifteen, I had tried so hard to fill the blank spaces that I gave myself a migraine. Mom had thought there was something wrong with me.

I had learned since then that I wrote my best pieces when I just let the notes come naturally. So, I leaned back into my seat and wrote the notes just as they came to me. Within ten minutes though, the pages looked just like any of the others I had done over the years. I sighed sharply, and threw them back into the bag I had placed at my feet. Nothing ever changes.

More for something to do than any real worry, I looked down the aisle of the plane looking for the hulking form of my best friend. He had said he was just going to go to the restroom, but knowing him, there was no telling what kind of trouble he was getting into. I sure hoped he got it out of his system before we landed in Paris and met this envoy. The last thing I needed was for the big idiot to get us kicked out before we even got there.

"Excuse me?" The pretty blond flight attendant broke though my morose musings. Her wide, honest blue eyes were worried. I guess I wasn't the best, most well adjusted person. I sighed, and ran my fingers though my wild, flyaway hair. "Can I get you a drink or something?"

I shook my head. "Thank you, though." It was amazing the difference between first class and business class. "You couldn't tell me where my friend's run off to, could you?"

She smiled and giggled. "He's back there." She pointed toward the flight attendant's kitchenette. "He's really funny."

"Yeah, he's a riot," I muttered darkly, standing up. "Thank you."

I marched up the aisle toward the sound of deep laughter and high-pitched giggling. Peeking around the corner, I saw my best friend, Emmett, with several other young attractive women. Emmett told the punch line of whatever rude joke he was telling and the girls broke out in a fresh round of giggling. I walked into the already small space, and placed a pleasant smile on my face.

"I'm sorry ladies," I said, while discreetly grabbing a fist full of Emmett's shirt. "But I'm afraid I have need of my friend here."

They smiled and said, "Not a problem," while I dragged my burly, six-foot-four best friend back to our seat. "What the hell, Emmett?" I hissed.

"What? They're just cute chicks." He smiled, his baby blue eyes bright and wide with faked innocence. I groaned.

"Emmett, you can't go around chatting up and sleeping with every woman you see," I hissed. He was going to get us in trouble with his womanizing ways. I needed this chance, much more than he even realized. "When we get to the Court, you have to reign yourself in. Sleep with the wrong person's daughter, and you'll get us both thrown out."

"Chill out, Eddie," he snorted, "I do have some sense of propriety, you know."

I looked at him incredulously. "Really, because you didn't show it when we were in school. And you know I hate that nickname."

Emmett just laughed. Getting him to take something seriously was next to impossible. He'd always been that way though. From the time we met in third grade on, Emmett had been a prankster, a jokester, and an uncontrollable ladies man. I, however, was the music nerd who was more comfortable behind my piano than in a group of people. That had changed some over the years as I grew up, but I still preferred the company of my piano over most people.

I was born and raised in New York City. My family was fairly wealthy. My father, Carlisle, was a surgeon, while my mother, Esme, stayed home to raise me, although she did work for various charities and organizations. They were both caring, compassionate people. They placed more value in their family and relationships than in their money and positions. They had passed those traits on to me. I honestly couldn't ask for better parents.

Mom had realized I had a talent for music by the time I was eighteen months old, or so she told me. She had some kind of charity event at the New York symphony, and as I was a quiet and well behaved child she decided to take me with her. She said that I couldn't keep my eyes off the musicians in front of me, particularly the pianist. Evidently, when I got home I was trying to replay the melodies I had heard on my tiny, five-keyed toy piano. She got me lessons shortly afterward and the rest, as they say, is history.

I composed my first original piece when I five. It was a song for my mother. I've expounded on it since then, but it's mostly the same shape as when I wrote it. I won my first competition a year later. I was the new child prodigy; everyone was looking to see what I, a seven year old, would come up with next. It's a lot for any seven year old. My parents wanted me to have as normal a childhood as possible, so they pulled me out of that world. They thought it was too much and they didn't want me to grow up too fast. They didn't forbid me from playing the piano, quite the opposite, they encouraged it. They merely cut me out of competitions, managers, and record labels. It was the best thing they ever did, even my professors agreed with me on that. They kept me from burning out before I really started getting good.

So, there I was, a socially awkward third grader who would have preferred to stay behind his piano all the time. I didn't really relate to the other kids, I was picked on and teased. The first half of that year was awful. Then, after the Christmas holidays, Emmett moved into town.

He was originally from West Virginia, from up in the Appalachian Mountains. His father had just gotten a job in New York. He packed up the family, Emmett's mom and his four younger siblings, and moved them all. Emmett would have been picked on for being the new kid, except that he was huge even then. Everyone was scared of him. He also had a great personality, a rambunctious troublemaker. Everything you needed to be popular in school.

One day, though, he caught some other kids teasing me because I was playing an invisible piano. I don't have to have a piano to write music, and that's what I was doing. Emmett stepped in and defended me. We've been best friends ever since.

"Come on, Eddie." He grinned next to me on the airplane. "Relax. It's an adventure. Besides, I hardly think they're gonna throw you out of Edelweiss. One day, when you're a big shot, playing all your greatest hits at..." he paused for a moment, "I don't know, whatever the best concert hall is, it would be too good to get to say, 'Yeah, we totally made him. Had him first."

"Thanks for the vote of confidence," I muttered. "They could still throw you out though."

"I'm only here for your mom, Edward."

I grinned. "Then you picture her face when she picks you up at JFK after leaving her only son alone in a strange land."

Emmett's ruddy face went white, as he no doubt pictured my mother's distraught brown eyes and disappointed smile; the same one he had received too many times to count. I laughed at his horror stricken face.

"That's what I thought," I said as I settled back into my seat. My mother treated Emmett like the second son she never got to have. She disciplined him just like she did me. Though sometimes I think she loved him more than she did me, typical.

I started competing again my sophomore year of high school by my own choice. I was good, and everyone admitted it. When I graduated, the obvious choice was Juilliard. I had no trouble getting in. The classes were hard at first, but after the first semester it was great. I enjoyed being in a setting that encouraged creativity rather than stagnation. I loved my time in school. Emmett had gone to a local school as well, studying business. We would get together on the weekends and mostly just goof off.

It was while I was in my second year that I first heard of the tiny European county of Edelweiss. It was high up in the Alps, between Switzerland and France. Most people didn't even know it existed. It had been founded in the Middle Ages, by a French Duke who had lost land in one of the numerous wars. He made a wealthy living off silver mining in the area, and established his own kingdom, making himself king. His line is still there, ruling.

With their wealth, they had decided in the fifteen hundreds that they should use it to fund the arts. They invited artists and musicians of all kinds to come and work in their court. That tradition continued to this day.

That's how I heard about them. I had a friend I met at Juilliard, Robert, who was a couple years older than me. He was invited to join them for a year after he graduated. He said it was great.

I had graduated this past May with high honors. I had gone to one my professors, Professor Maryweather, for advice. I honestly didn't know where to go or what to do after I graduated. Professor Maryweather was my musical mentor, so I knew he would have an idea as to what I should be doing. Sure enough, he did. He had already sent one of my taped recitals to his contact in the Edelweiss government. They wanted to offer me a two-year contract to go there and work. I was ecstatic, it was somewhere to begin and it got me out of New York. Everything I wanted. I immediately told them yes.

There was just one hitch. My Mom was distraught at the thought of me going by myself to a different land, where she wouldn't see me for two years. She just couldn't handle it, so she went to Professor Maryweather, who is also one of my parents friends, and told him to try to get Emmett invited to go along. It was crazy. Emmett was not an artist, by any stretch of means. The best he could draw was a stick figure, and he couldn't even tell the difference between a clarinet and a tuba.

Somehow, Professor Maryweather had worked out a deal. Emmett could go as well, if he was willing to study military training under the royal guard while he stayed there. Emmett had seemed excited about it, and it kept my mother happy. If I were being honest though, I was glad to have Emmett along. It would be nice to have someone there I knew. I couldn't really think of anyone else I'd rather come with, either. I hadn't had a girlfriend in about a year and a half, not after Victoria anyway.

I shook my head before I could let my mind wonder any farther. Vicki was not a subject I felt like rehashing at the moment. I glanced over at Emmett to find he was completely off our pervious subject and was reading some sports magazine with a half naked woman on the front. "You realize that you are never going to find a steady girlfriend if you keep reading that magazine in broad daylight, right?"

He shrugged and didn't remove his eyes from the paper as he replied, "Yeah, well, who needs a steady girlfriend. Besides, you're hardly one to talk Mr. I-keep-my-nose-buried-in-music-notation Cullen."

I snorted. "Dream on, Emmett. Most women find the whole tortured musician thing pretty sexy."

"Yeah? How did that work out for you, Eddie?" He eyed me incredulously from over the edge of his magazine. He couldn't believe I had just said that. Truth be told, nether could I.

"Point taken," I muttered.

He nodded and turned back to his magazine. I sighed. It didn't matter anyway, I hadn't sworn off woman, but I wasn't looking for a girlfriend. I had decided to be patient and wait for the right one to come around, if she ever did. I wasn't holding my breath. I was fine by myself anyway.

We still had several hours left in the flight, so I pulled my music notes back out and set out to fill in the blank spaces. I didn't know why I was bothering. Emmett put down his magazine and glanced over at my half filled pages.

"That thing again?" he asked. "When are you ever gonna give up on it? You've been trying to finish it for years now."

_Emmett, King of Tact, _I thought bitterly. I rolled my eyes at him. "Just because I can't finish it now, doesn't mean I never will. I just have to find the right inspiration, that's all."

"Oh, a muse," Emmett said, drawing out his words like he was a kid looking at a bb gun. "That what ya need, Eddie? A girl?" he raised his eyebrows comically.

Making a quick search to make sure there were not any flight attendants near by, I smacked the back of head with my notebook so that it made a resounding "smack" sound. Several of the other passengers glanced our way, no doubt thinking we were insane, before turning back to there own pursuits.

"Ow," he whined like a big baby. "That hurt."

"Oh, shut up," I told him, turning back to my work.

He left me alone till the plane was coming in for a landing in Paris. He could no doubt sense my fowl mood, and knew better than to say something stupid and make it worse.

"So, who are we suppose to meet at the airport?" he asked as we buckled our seat belts. "What's he like, a lord or something?"

I sighed as I watched Paris in the early evening light. "He's not a lord," I answered him. "He's just supposed to be an assistant to the Queen, Mr. Eleazar Garcia. He's supposed to see us the rest of the ways to the Alps."

"So, people can't just go to the country on their own?"

I rolled my eyes; he was so dense. "Of course they can, Emmett. Something like forty eight percent of their economy is tourism. We're just being escorted because they are paying me to live with them and write music. It's a bit of a big deal."

We made our way off the plane and through customs in record time. After grabbing our luggage, we started looking for Mr. Garcia. I had been told to look for a tall, dark haired man in a black suit. It didn't really help though, as there were several men fitting that description that I could see. I hope he had a good description of us. Of course, Emmett's hard to miss in a crowd, too.

We had just gotten past the luggage carousel for gates fourteen, fifteen and sixteen, when a man fitting the description I had been given walked up to the two of us. He was tall, though not as tall as I was, maybe six feet. His skin was a tan color and his eyes were a dark brown. He walked with a sense of purpose, and his gaze was fixed and unwavering.

"Edward Cullen?" he asked, with just a hint of a Spanish accent.

I nodded and held out my hand. "Mr. Garcia?"

He laughed and smiled as he shook my hand, his white teeth flashing in the florescent light. "Please, just call me Eleazar. Mr. Garcia was my father. You must be Emmett McCarthy."

While Eleazar shook Emmett's hand, I took the opportunity to study him. He looked to be in his mid to late thirties. His jet black hair was just starting to turn grey and was thinning at the temples. His face was lined with wrinkles; though whether they were laugh lines or worry lines I couldn't tell. He held himself with a sense of dignity and purpose, back straight, chest out, and those dark eyes saw more than most people could, I could tell. He wore a wedding ring on his finger, but other than that there was no other sign of who he was or where he was from.

"I'm sure you're both tired from your flight," he said as he guided us though the airport. "So, I will explain everything to you as we walk. We will be staying here in Paris for the rest of today and tomorrow. I have some business to attend to, but you should feel free to explore the city if you like. The only thing I will need from you tomorrow is your measurements for tuxes."

"What for?" Emmett wrinkled his nose up. He hated getting dressed up.

Eleazar smirked. "Believe me, Mr. McCarthy, I completely understand. I, as well, hate getting dressed up. We have an annual ball on Saturday night that you will be expected to attend."

Emmett groaned, and I had to suppress a chuckle. Emmett loved to party, but he hated fancy parties. They "cramped his style".

"I can give you my measurements." I was always having to get suits for recitals and the like. "You'll have to get Emmett measured though. I can't remember the last time he had to dress up for something."

"My aunt's wedding, when I was ten," he grouched.

"I'll send a tailor up to your suite." Eleazar smiled and guided us outside to the crisp evening air. There was a long black limousine pulled up at the curb. I was not expecting Eleazar to go over to it. Emmett and I both stopped dead in our tracks. _A limo, really?_

"Damn," I heard Emmett mutter under his breath. I had to agree with the sentiment. A limo just to pick up the two of us? There was nothing really special about us. It was the first time I thought that I may have been in over my head. It wouldn't be the last time either.

Emmett and I numbly made our way over to the limo and let the driver take our bags and place them in the truck. Eleazar was already in the limo so we climbed in. It was extravagant, with everything in it just like you see on TV. The seats were made of fine black leather with the two seats facing each other and a large open space between. This arrangement meant there was a great deal of leg room which, when you're 6'2" and most of it in the legs, was always a plus. Once we were settled, the driver pulled out into traffic.

"We'll leave from here two mornings from now. We will fly to Chamonix but from there we will have to drive. It will take all to day to get there, so we will stay at a tiny French hamlet before getting there the next day. I'm sorry, that doesn't give you much time before the ball, as we won't get there before Friday, and the ball is on Saturday."

"It's fine," I muttered. Evidently, I had a busy week ahead of me. I knew jet lag would set in soon, as well. I wasn't tired, but I would like to go to sleep as soon as possible. "Where will we be staying?"

"The Hotel Plaza Athenee. We'll be there in just a minute," he told us.

I watched the Parisian landscape pass by through the dark tinted windows. Night had fallen completely by this point, and the buildings were lit up by hundreds of tiny lights. It was beautiful. Never the less, I was thrilled when the limousine pulled up in front of one particularly ornate building and stopped.

Eleazar climbed out, with Emmett and I following. He motioned for a bellhop to grab our bags out of the trunk before Emmett and I could grab them ourselves. Eleazar did not spare a second glance as we made our way into the plush, gleaming lobby. The floor was made out of marble and there was a huge crystal chandelier hanging from the high ceiling. Everything was polished and shining. I swear Emmett sucked in a deep breath as we walked in. We may have been from New York, but our families were not this wealthy. We couldn't have even dreamed of staying in a place like this. I for one was afraid to even touch anything.

Eleazar led us up the elevator to one of the upper floors. From there he showed us to our suite. There was a grand sitting room with large, comfortable looking furniture and thick carpeting. Across from the door we entered through, the wall was made out of glass looking out across the Parisian skyline. The Eiffel Tower was visible because of the thousands of tiny lights that outlined it.

"If you want anything from the hotel, just call them. They know who to charge." Eleazar ushered us inside, the bellhops following and disappearing though the side doors. "If you need anything from me, I'll be across the hall. Have a good night."

"Thank you," I called as he and bellhops exited the room.

"Well." Emmett glanced around the room. "Looks like we've come up in the world."

I nodded and lazily went to stand by the window.

Emmett sighed. "Fine, be that way. I'm gonna order some food. Call your mom." He turned to the food menu, knowing he wasn't going to be able get anything out of me. He was right though, I did need to call Mom.

She picked up on the first ring. "Edward?"

"Hey Mom, we're in Paris."

"Good." She sighed, her sweet voice releasing the tension it had held just moments ago. "You know I worry when you're flying."

I smiled into the phone. "Yeah, I know. We're staying here tomorrow though, so you don't have to worry about it for a while."

She laughed. "You Father says "hi" by the way."

I smiled and fought the sudden tears that threatened my eyes. I'm twenty-four; I'm not supposed to get home sick any more. "Yeah, tell him I said 'hi' too."

She was silent for a moment before asking, "Are you alright, Edward?"

I swallowed the lump in my throat and fought to make my voice sound lighter as I said, "Yeah, I'm great, Mom."

"Okay." She sighed. "Tell Emmett I said 'hi'. Call us if you need anything."

We said our good byes and hung up the phone. I lost myself in the wave of emotions. I suddenly found myself missing New York. I missed my parents, my apartment, and my piano. I missed home, and this hotel room, nice as it was, was not home.

Maybe it was all too much, too fast. I couldn't turn back now though. Call me crazy, but I was following a sense of destiny. I guess leaving the safety and comfort of home is always hard. It felt like there was something I was supposed to be running toward.

I shook my head to clear the doubts and shadows. The food Emmett had ordered had arrived and the smell was making me hungry. Food, Emmett goofing off, and then sleep were in order. Those were all normal enough things.

One day at a time. I had no idea what was ahead of me, and I certainly didn't realized just how much my life was about to change. Dad had always told me to take it one day at a time, the rest would take care of itself. So that's what I vowed to do.

**AU:** Well, tell me, was it worth the wait? I personally like this chapter, but it could just be me. Leave me a review and let me know. Next time we're back to Bella and Jacob. Its still good though. See ya then!


	5. This Boy

**AU: **

_Things I own, a ticket stub for Water for Elephants. Things I don't own, Twilight, Edward, Rob. I think you get the drift._

_Okay, I would like to say how sorry I am that it took this long to update. The reason is that Project Team Beta is betaing this story as well. So, it took a while to get them caught up. Now that they are, updates should be a little more normal._

_As usual, much thanks goes out to state of delusion for her great work on this chapter. Also to to PTB for catching what we didn't get. Okay, enough of me talking, but stick around at the end. I have something important to say. Enjoy._

**Chapter 4**

**This Boy**

_It seems this boy bathed in ridicule,_

_Too forward, way too physical._

_-Franz Ferdinand_

**BPOV**

My front sitting room was truly a mess. We had emptied every drawer, every container, and pocket. We pulled up the couch cushions and unfolded every blanket that hung on the rack in the back of the room. We pulled everything out of the hidden closet and checked under every piece of furniture. I had even pulled both of the paintings off the wall to make sure there were no secret compartments behind them that even I didn't know about.

Alice, Rosalie, and I now sat on the floor in the middle of our destruction. It was the first chance we had to look for Jasper's promise ring since Alice told us she lost it. The three of us had torn the room apart in Jasper's absence trying to find that bloody ring. Our search had been fruitless; the thin silver band with its three precious gems remained elusively out of sight. Alice now sat between Rose and me, fighting back a flood of tears.

"I can't believe I lost it." Alice sniffed, her voice thick with unshed tears. "How could I have forgotten to put it back on? It wasn't that hard to remember, was it? Now it's probably lost in the pipes or something."

Rose harrumphed as a tear rolled down Alice's pale cheek. "Oh, come on, Alice," she groaned. "Don't be so melodramatic. I doubt it fell into the sink. It still has to be here somewhere. We'll just have to tear Bella's room apart next."

I pretended to be irritated with Rosalie's suggestion, but it at least got a laugh out of Alice. I sat down on the floor and settled my back against the couch with my legs stretched out in front of me. "Don't worry, Alice. We'll find it. I don't think we have time to start on my room today, though."

We hadn't looked for the ring before now because Jasper was always around when we were together. Alice didn't want Jasper to know she had lost his ring, so we had to wait till today, while Jasper was out at a security briefing, to start our search. Since we had not found it this afternoon, we would have to wait till the next time he was away to look in my bedroom.

I sighed, letting my eyes wander around the room, trying to find any glimmer of silver. Rosalie and Alice leaned against the couch next to me, lost in their thoughts. We still needed to clean up the mess we had made before I got ready for my dinner with Billy and Jacob. At the moment, though, I didn't really want to get up off the floor. It was oddly comfortable.

As I stared at the red, crackling flames, I started to get the feeling that I was missing something. I just couldn't put my finger on what. I let my eyes wander from the warm, red flames to the flagstone hearth, up the blue papered walls to the redwood mantle. I had placed several small, personal trinkets on the shelf. There was a picture of my dad and me when I was six and a tiny ivory box my grandfather had given me that used to be my grandmother's. I knew when I looked at the mantle that nothing had been moved. We had forgotten to look up there.

With a sudden burst of inspiration, I jumped up from the floor and bounded across the room toward the fireplace. With any kind of luck, Alice had placed it on the mantle knowing that was a fairly safe place to put it. She and Rose watched me cross the room but didn't say anything.

There on the redwood, underneath the photo frame, rested the thin silver band with bright twin sapphires and a single gleaming, yellow topaz. I grinned and picked it up.

"Oh, Alice," I called, turning around to face her. "Look what I found."

Her midnight blue eyes widened in shock for just a moment before she squealed and jumped up to run toward me. She tore the ring from my hand and slipped it back onto her finger, just where it belonged. A radiant, grateful smile graced her lips as she studied it for a moment before throwing her arms around my neck in a tight hug.

"Thank you, thank you, thank you, thank you!" She squealed in my ear and I had to pull away. Alice didn't seem to notice. She just kept talking and bouncing on her toes. "I didn't know what I was going to do if I couldn't find it. What would he think? And, of course, I put it on the mantle. Where else would I have put it?"

I started laughing as Alice kept talking without even pausing to take a breath. It was just like her to get so excited that she couldn't stop talking. Rose got up off the floor and made her way over to us two lunatics. "Good grief, Alice," she said sharply, but her smile gave her away. "Take a breath or two before you kill the heir to the throne, because she couldn't breathe from laughing at you. Now, let me see this ring."

Rose and I had the ability to study engagement rings, even almost engagement rings, like some would the renaissance paintings that hung in the halls. This one really was pretty. The three stones were bright and clear, two deep blue sapphires on either side of the gleaming yellow gem. It was really too simple for Alice; she usually liked big and flashy. It was from Jasper though, and that probably made a difference.

"I like it," Rosalie said, holding up Alice's fingers so the ring caught the light. "It's not what I would have thought for you, but it fits you in a different way. How did Jasper manage to afford it though? These are all real."

"Jasper's been saving for several years. I told him it didn't have to be this expensive, but he wouldn't listen to me." Alice sighed dreamily.

"Foundation of a good marriage that," Rosalie snarked before turning to the rest of the room and the destruction we had wrought on it. Rose grimaced. "Shit. We really are going to have to clean this up and get you ready for your date."

"It's not a date," I snapped. We had been though this many times in the past three days. I was having dinner with Billy and Jacob. I wanted to get to know them, and it was my job, as princess, to be hospitable to visiting dignitaries. That didn't mean it was a date. "And you're not supposed to curse in front of the princess, Rosalie."

"Don't bullshit me, Isabella. In Bern, you would out-curse anybody we ran into." She grinned and started cleaning up.

I stifled a growl and started to bend down to pick up one of the discarded couch pillows. "No, no, no, Bella." Alice took over my life yet again. "Rose and I will clean up, and you go get a shower. I'll lay out your dress, too."

I started to argue, but I knew a lost cause when I saw it. Shooting them both a playful glare, I marched toward my bedroom. There were perks to being a princess, one of which was my bathroom. It was huge, gleaming, and white, with gold accents everywhere. There was a whirlpool tub and a shower with eight separate shower heads, which combined to make a waterfall in my shower. There were even jets that came out of the sides. In my opinion, it was the best bathroom in the entire palace. It had been remodeled when I was sixteen, so it was also the newest.

I quickly slipped out of my sweatshirt and pants and turned the water on as hot as I could stand. The water unknotted my muscles, which seemed to be in a constant state of tension these days.

Since I had been back at court, I had picked up on several things. First, Phil was in charge of almost everything now. Whatever happened, whether it was something simple, like a dispute between neighbors that their Lord should have been able to take care of, or something major that Renee should have taken care of, he kept an eye on everything. Yesterday, he had somehow found out about my meeting tonight and told me all about Jacob. Phil explained how he had taken over his father's business and had been made a lord by the Prince of Monaco. Phil seemed to think that Jacob and I should get along very well. He went so far as to tell me, "You should keep your options open, Isabella. Lord Black is a very prosperous man." I had never really liked Phil, but now I was wondering what game he was playing. At this point, I wouldn't trust him farther than I could throw him.

Second, Renee was acting weird. I had, of course, rushed home after that rather disturbing phone call. When I had gotten home it seemed everything was fine. She never mentioned anything strange, and she was just as ditzy and hare-brained as she always had been. At first, it had seemed like everything was normal until I started paying attention. Renee observed the people around her more than she used to. When I was at dinner with her and Phil, she had barely held a conversation, preferring to watch the two of us like a hawk.

I asked her the night before, when we were alone, what was bothering her. She had merely smiled and said nothing was wrong. I know how to read my mother's face, and she was worried about something. She refused to tell me though, and I was worried about her.

With my shower finished, I wrapped my long, thick hair in a towel and pulled a robe on as I made my way back out to the bedroom. My thoughts were caught up in the tangled mess that was my royal life. Alice had laid out a deep purple, knee-length dress. Bless her. She always knew just what to dress me in.

Twenty minutes later, I walked back out to the sitting room dressed, hair dried, makeup done, and carrying two different pairs of shoes. "Which pair, Alice?" I asked, holding up the shoes. Rose and Alice had the room almost completely put back together.

Alice looked up from where she was replacing the drawer in the antique desk. Her blue eyes scrutinized the two pairs of shoes in my hands. She studied them for a moment, narrowing her eyes and scrunching up her nose as she did so. Suddenly, her face cleared and she pointed to the violet, heeled sandals in my left hand. "I think those will do best," she said. "Really, I think we need to get rid of those silver things."

I glanced down at the silver ballet flats in my right hand. "But I like these. They don't have a heel. You even said they were fashionable."

"Yeah." She rolled her eyes in a condescending way. "Two years ago, Bella, in Bern."

I harrumphed and put away the flats. "Good luck to Jasper, living with you."

"Living with whom?" Jasper had just walked in at the end of my comment.

"Her," I said, pointing at the black-haired demon sitting on the floor. He just grinned stupidly. Men.

I finally managed to get the strappy, extremely purple shoes on. They had straps that twisted up my calves, and I couldn't figure out how to tie them. Rose finally had to come show me how. "Really, Alice?" she asked. "Sandals? You do realize it's thirty degrees outside, right?" She certainly had a point.

"Are you planning to go outside, Bella?" I shook my head. "Then I don't want to hear it." She pointedly took a seat that placed her back to us. Alice never did like it when we questioned her in matters of fashion. She'd get over it quick enough. She never could hold a grudge.

I sighed and looked at the clock on the mantle piece. Five-thirty, I had a half hour until I had to meet Billy and Jacob. I had reserved one of the small libraries to eat in. I thought it would be more intimate and cozy than a bigger, semi-formal dining room. I probably should have headed over there already. Rosalie and Alice were having dinner with their families tonight as well, and they should have left already too.

"Okay, how do I look?"

Rosalie turned to look. "Good."

"Should I do something with my hair?" I had left it down rather than trying to do anything with it. I was regretting it now though. It seemed like it was just hanging there limply.

Rosalie snorted. "I thought this wasn't a date. You sure are acting like it is with all this 'do I look good' crap." Jasper smirked at her comment.

I politely flipped Rose off before turning to Jasper. "Say good-bye to Alice; we're going."

He merely smiled at Alice and opened the door for me. He escorted me down the hall toward the room I had reserved. Fortunately, I wasn't too far from my suite, otherwise I might have ended up on my rear end because I couldn't walk in these heels. Jasper again opened the door for me and entered behind me.

The small room was warm and cozy. The walls were paneled in dark redwood, and the carpet was hunter green. There was a large fireplace with an elaborate mantle that was the main source of light in the room. The furniture was ornate as well and heavy-looking. The back wall was covered in shelves filled with old, leather-bound books. A medium-sized round table and three high-back chairs were set in front of the fireplace.

This was one of my favorite libraries in the Palace. It was small and cozy, and no one really liked to come here, so it meant I could almost be guaranteed personal space. The works on the shelves were classics but not priceless first editions.

The table was set with fine china and crystal goblets. A little fancy for what I was thinking, but it would do. The kitchen hadn't brought the food up yet.

"The library for dinner?" Jasper asked as he took his place next to the door. "That's a little odd; is it not?"

I smirked as I settled into my favorite chair next to the bookshelf. "It's warm and comfortable. Way better than any of the state dinning rooms Renee would have picked. It's just three of us anyway."

He nodded and thought for a moment. "So, this is all to put you more at ease."

I shrugged and muttered, "Yes." I hated things like this, and he knew it. I had to take every advantage I had.

Jasper smirked and remained silent next to the door. I knew that after he had spoken without permission the first time, he wouldn't say anything else until I asked him. I still had a little time, and there was something I wanted to talk to Jasper about.

"Jasper, what's your opinion of Phil?" Jasper was intelligent, thoughtful, observant, and, as a member of the Royal Guard, silent, and mostly ignored. Jasper saw things that the rest of us didn't, either because of his position at Court, or simply because of the way his mind worked. He noticed the little things. He could read body language like I read classic books. I trusted Jasper's observation and opinion of things. If I was having doubts about Phil's aspirations, Jasper would be able to tell me if I was just being paranoid or if I was on the right track.

Jasper studied me for a moment in silence; his stormy grey eyes clouded. "You're worried about your mother." It wasn't a question, but I nodded anyway.

"So, are you worried Phillip is harming her?" he asked.

I shrugged, leaning back into the plush chair, trying to make my body comfortable since my mind wasn't. "It's not that I think he's hurting her, not physically anyway. I don't think emotionally either. I just think she's in over her head. She's different since we got back. It's not obvious but …" I trailed off, my words coming to a halt. I didn't know how to explain what I saw and how I felt to Jasper. He knew already.

"Phillip likes power. He likes to know that he influences people. Marrying your mother gave him the prefect opportunity to flex his muscles. Your leaving like you did allowed him room to take over completely. Your mother never stood a chance."

I sighed and closed my eyes, blocking out the dimly lit room. This was all my fault. If I hadn't left in an adolescent tantrum, I could have been here, helping Renee stand up to him. I could have made her see what a weasel he was. Instead, I was selfish and left her here to get run over by her own husband.

I heard footsteps move toward me and opened my eyes to find Jasper kneeling in front of me. "This is not your fault, Bella," he said. His grey eyes were warm and yet hard at the same time. Jasper and I had grown up always knowing he would be my bodyguard. Though we were kept apart from each other much of the time, we had still developed a sibling-like bond. He was the older brother I had always wanted. He was very protective of me, even if he was defending me from myself.

"Phillip is charming with Renee. She believes he really is just trying to help her. It's going to take absolute proof placed in front of her to convince her otherwise. Your staying here was not going to do any good."

"She's my mother," I whispered. "I should have done something."

He nodded. "Maybe, but like I said, it wouldn't have done you any good. Now, Phillip, you should be worried about. I don't think he will be happy with King Consort for long."

I nodded, running my fingers under my eyes, trying to erase any stray tear tracks that I may have let fall. Jasper took my hands and pulled me to my feet. "I will keep my ears open for any rumors about what he's planning. Nothing is completely a secret around here."

"Thanks," I said. At least I could take that off my mind for a while. "Just be careful, okay, Jasper. I don't want you to get into trouble."

He nodded and turned to the door just as it opened. A man and a woman walked in pushing a trolley holding platters covered by silver domes. They were wearing simple white uniforms that marked them as part of the kitchen staff. "Oh, I'm sorry, Your Highness," the small black-haired woman said when she saw Jasper and me standing in the back of the room. "We didn't mean to interrupt."

I shook my head and smiled. "No, no, you're not interrupting. Please, come on in." Jasper went to stand by the door again, giving them room to move the trolley over to the table. I stepped over to the side, giving them more room to work. They removed the covers on the platters to release the most succulent aromas. Despite what I said about living in the palace, the food was always good. We had a French chef at the moment, and he was a genius in the kitchen. I could smell lamb, potatoes, and sugary-sweet apples. My mouth had started watering; it smelled so good. I suddenly felt sorry for Jasper, who just had to stand by the door and watch.

"That smells delicious," I told the two kitchen staffers. "What did the chef prepare?"

"A rack of lamb," the man told me in his thick Swiss accent, "roasted potatoes, green beans, and apple pie."

God bless Jean Claud; he knew I missed America, so he always made me an apple pie. I knew I probably never had apple pie when I was with my Dad. It just made me think about the place where I was the happiest.

"Thank you very much, both of you," I told them as they left. As they were walking out the door, I saw Jacob rounding the corner, pushing Billy, who was in his wheelchair. Jacob was wearing a dark suit with a white shirt under the jacket. The top buttons where undone, showing off a well-defined chest. My mouth dropped open for just a moment before I could catch myself. I had never been what you would call "boy crazy," but there was no denying, Jacob Black was good-looking. He grinned when he saw me standing outside the door.

"Good evening, Your Highness," he said as he approached. His white teeth flashed as he grinned.

"I'm sorry, my Lord, but I don't answer to that name from you." I grinned back. I didn't want to go through the night hearing that.

"Sorry, Bella." He smiled.

"Better." I leaned down and kissed Billy's cheek. "Good evening, Billy. I'm glad you could join me for dinner."

I guided them both back into the room. Jasper was still standing by the door, right where he was supposed to be. Billy and Jacob both told me how great the food smelled. We sat down to eat, and, for a while, the conversation was light and untroubled. They asked me about Edelweiss, and I asked them about Monaco. We talked about family, friends, and school, nothing really important. It wasn't until dessert, after I had told them about the Valley and spending the holidays with either Alice or Rosalie at their homes, that the question I had been dreading came up.

"So," Jacob began, taking a bite of his pie. "If you liked Edelweiss so much, why did you leave a couple years ago?"

"Jacob," Billy's deep voice cautioned.

"It's okay, Billy." I sighed. "It's not a royal secret by any means. Ask anyone in the palace, and you'll get at least three different answers. In truth, I just needed to get away. I was no different really than any other teenager."

"But you stayed away for three whole years," Jacob said, his dark eyes stared at me, making me uncomfortable. I didn't like this line of questioning. I'd noticed through the course of the meal that Jacob was very direct and speculative. I had a suspicion about why he was a lord and his father was not, and I didn't like it. Jacob was ambitious, which wasn't necessarily a bad thing, but Phil was ambitious too.

By comparison, Billy was quiet and humble. He was quick to laugh and content to listen. He would question me about the things I talked about. He was sweet and honest. I enjoyed talking to him. Jacob could be charming when he wanted to be, but otherwise he was sharp and obnoxious, interrupting often. I had to wonder which Jacob was the real one.

"I was being rebellious. It was nice to be away from all this, but I missed it, so I came home." Not the real story, but I would have come home at some point anyway.

"Fair enough." Jacob had finished his pie while I talked. He leaned back in his chair and looked over at Billy. "We're going to be staying here for a while, you know. I have some business to do with your step-father. Hopefully, I will be seeing you around."

I couldn't help but grin back at him. Jacob Black was a conundrum. On one hand, he could be blunt and almost rude with how he approached people. I could tell he was ambitious, much like Phil, and that revelation was a little startling. He would do whatever was necessary to get what he wanted. Yet, there was just something about his personality that I liked; he had a softer side too. He was fun-loving and could be really sweet when he tried. On top of that, he had a great smile and was very handsome. I couldn't help but be attracted to him. There was a part of me that was sending up red flags and another part that wanted to give him a chance. I had never been really good at reading people, so I usually gave them the benefit of the doubt.

"I certainly hope so. What kind of business are you and Phil doing?"

"I own a pharmaceutical company. It's still not completely off the ground, but the prince is supporting it, so it should go off without a hitch. King Phillip is helping me as well, and he offered me room here in the Palace to work. Well, when he offered, I couldn't say no."

So, vague business deals with Phil. That didn't sound so good. Jasper caught my eye from where he stood by the door. He looked a little uneasy as he watched us. After the discussion we had just had about Phil, I could understand why. Again, I really wanted to like Jacob, but there was something else going on here. Something I couldn't quite put my finger on.

"Well," I said, putting my fork down. I had lost my appetite for my pie. "If I may give some advice, don't spend all your time in the palace. I can recommend several smaller villages and hamlets in the valley; they are less touristy, more quaint."

He grinned. "I'm honored, Bella. Perhaps, though, it would be better if you showed me, rather than just told me. Then I'm sure I would not miss anything."

I saw Jasper scowl at his lack of social norms. Truly, as Jacob was just a foreign lord, he was not allowed to ask me out. I could start anything I wanted to, but he should have waited for me to express my interest. I really didn't mind though. It was nice to be around someone who just didn't care about what was proper and right for a change. I did wish he had just come out and asked me to join him rather than hinting at it, but a girl couldn't ask for everything.

"I would love to join you," I told him. "Just let me know when you are free." Jacob nodded and grinned, and my past worries about him and my step-father where pushed to the back of my mind. I wouldn't worry about them again until it was far too late.

**AU: **

_Okay, I hope you enjoyed. Now two things. This story is written ahead quite a bit, but I would still like to know what you think could or should happen as things go along. Go ahead and drop me a line. I promise I don't bite. _

_Two, I am on twitter, EveryDayBella89, and I'm gonna start post teasers and the like, so you like that kind of thing come on by. You can drop me a line over there as well._

_Okay I think thats it, next Edward makes it to the Palace and I think I may put him behind a piano. Yeah. Till next time._


	6. When Anger Shows

**AN: **Things I own, six bucks and a Dr. Pepper. Things I don't own, Twilight, Edward, Rob, I think you get the picture. By the way, if you got that joke drop me line. I love Gee.

Why hello agian! I know, it hasn't even been that long. That's great right. I would just like to give a quick thanks to all my reviewers. I love hearing from you guys and repling. I'm not gonna lie, it makes me feel good. Big thanks also goes to State of Delusion for making this readable. Also, big thanks to Batgirl8968 and Multicolored Eyes from PTB for their help.

**Chapter 5**

**When Anger Shows**

_In that moment you realize,_

_That something you thought would always be there will die,_

_Like everything else._

_These thoughts I must not think of, dreams I can't make sense of,_

_I need you to tell me it's ok._

_-Editors_

**EPOV**

The black sedan handled the winding mountain roads better than I thought it would. Outside, the road fell off into a shear drop. If I'd had vertigo, I would probably have been sick by now. Instead, found it darkly interesting. The mountainside was covered in bright green grass and the occasional fallen tree. It was pretty. The sky overhead was a clear blue with high, puffy, white clouds dotting here and there. My mother would have loved it up here.

We were still in France, about two hours northwest of Charmox. According to Eleazar, it would still be another thirty minutes before we made it to Edelweiss, and another thirty after that before we made it to the Palace. I wasn't sure I could stand another ten minutes in the car with Emmett, let alone an hour.

I glanced at Emmett; he was next to me and could not sit still. He kept bouncing his knee, tapping his fingers, and nodding his head to the beat from his earphones. He was worse than a ten-year-old on a long trip asking, "Are we there yet?" every five minutes. Yes, he had asked me that several times already. He was driving me insane with all the bouncing and jittering. Emmett really didn't handle car drives very well.

When he progressed to singing, under his breath, the awful lyrics of whatever hip-hop song he was listening to, I couldn't take it anymore. "Emmett, could you please shut the hell up and stop fidgeting?"

He pulled an ear bud out and looked over at me. "What?"

Of course, he couldn't hear me over his music. "Never mind," I muttered, scowling down at my lap. Telling him to knock it off wasn't going to do any good anyway.

"What rodent crawled up your ass and died last night?" he asked. "You were in a great mood yesterday evening. Ever since you woke up this morning, you've been in a bad mood."

"I'm not in a bad mood." I rolled my eyes and then laughed because that's what I did when I was in a bad mood. Emmett laughed too, at me, not with me, no doubt. "I'm not in a bad mood. I'm just stressed."

"Why?" Emmett turned his mp3 player off and turned in his seat to face me better. That was the great thing about Emmett, he was a big goof ball and an idiot, but if I really needed him, he was available with an open ear. "You've been waiting for this for months. I thought you were excited about this."

"I am." Excited was the only emotion I ever let him or my parents see. Inside though, I was a wild, swirling mess of emotion. I was excited, but I was also nervous and worried. I was worried that I wasn't doing the right thing, that I should have stayed in New York and got a job teaching or playing at small venues like so many of my friends had done. I should have just stayed. I should never have come across the ocean to a place I had never even been, much less heard of. I was riddled with insecurity. "I am excited, but what if I'm doing the wrong thing, Emmett?" I was whispering so that Eleazar, who was sitting in the front seat, couldn't hear me.

I was going to continue, but Emmett laughed. I stared at him until he stopped and said, "Sorry. Really though, Edward, would you get a grip? What else are you gonna do? You're a composer - and a damn good one at that. You have to make money somehow. Carlisle can't support you forever. This is a win-win situation; you get to compose and live without having to pay a dime. Now, if we could just get that stick out of your ass and make you human."

"Thanks, Emmett." I smirked. "That makes me feel so much better."

"You're welcome." His dimples were in clear attendance as he grinned. "Seriously though, loosen up. I have a feeling you're going to find everything you're looking for."

I decided not to grace that with a comment.

The countryside passed by outside the window. Emmett put his headphones back in since I was finished talking. I let my mind drift back to its usual musings as the green grass and blue sky passed by outside. I felt better having told someone about some of my worries. Emmett was right; this was the best chance for me. I could compose and chase the music in my head to my heart's content. Besides, if I did discover that it wasn't worth it, I could leave whenever I wanted.

I took a deep, fortifying breath and was pleased to find it wasn't unsteady, as I had feared it would be. I leaned back into my seat, my course set. I just had to follow it. For the first time since we had left Charmox this morning, I took note of the scenery outside and how beautiful it really was. It was like the music to all the greatest symphonies; it soared and dipped, was soft and hard, hot and cold all at the same time. All different shades of green covered the mountainside, except where the sides were steep and exposed the steely grey rocks beneath the grass. We were passing through a path in the French Alps where the mountains rose on either side, preventing any kind of view of what lay between.

The car slowed down suddenly as we took another curve. I leaned over so that I could see out of the windshield. There was a gate barring the road just before another curve. A modest sized guardhouse next to the road as well. Our driver stopped before the gate, and a guard came out of the house and over to the driver's window. He rapped his knuckles on the glass, and the driver lowered the window.

"Sorry." The guard leaned down to place his head at the window. "But we're going to need some ID."

Eleazar handed him a card that the guard studied for a moment before handing back. "I'm sorry, Mr. Garcia, we weren't told you would be coming today. Just give me a brief moment and I will let you through."

"Thank you, Colonel," Eleazar called as the guard turned back. A few moments later the red and white striped gate rose and the driver pulled through it, onto the curving road. Eleazar turned in his seat to face Emmett and me. "Welcome to Edelweiss, sirs." He smiled back at us. "You'll be able to see the valley better in a moment."

The car took another turn before breaking out through the ridge and the trees. Before us stretched a wide, bowl-shaped valley, bathed in a light green. The majestic snowcapped mountains rose on every side, hiding the valley from the rest of the world. A blue ribbon ran though the valley floor, cutting it in half lengthwise. I could see the tiny dots on the valley floor, marking the towns and hamlets.

"In the spring, it's covered with white, because of the edelweiss. That's where it gets its name," Eleazar told us, as we started our descent down the edge. "The Palace is right over there, on the French side."

He pointed to the west and there, about a mile up, was a faint, glimmering marble building. I couldn't really see it very well, as we were too far off. I could, however, see a town laid out at its feet. It looked to be one of the larger in the valley. The Palace was next to a river as it came down out of the mountains. The town was built on either side of the river as it met the valley floor.

"What's that town there, underneath the Palace?" Emmett asked.

"Riviere de Montagne, it means Mountain River. The original settlers were not very creative." Eleazar grimaced, but I could tell that his dark eyes were holding humor. Eleazar pointed out several other settlements and points of interest, most with smooth, French names. I remembered from my studies that the small kingdom had originally been populated by both the French and Swiss, and, as a result, their culture was an amalgamation of both.

It took us another twenty-five minutes to drive around the edge of the valley to drive around the edge of the valley to the Palace from where we had entered. Just as I had first thought, the Palace itself was made of pristine, white marble. It looked to be made in a circle, where everything flowed out from a central dome. The Palace was built on a flat shelf low on the mountain so that almost any view through the windows looked out over the valley. It faced east, toward the Swiss side of the valley, and the Alps beyond.

We came to a stop at a small portico on the south side of the Palace. "Welcome to the Palace of Edelweiss, my friends," Eleazar said, as we climbed out of the car and into the chilly mountain air. "She may not be much, but she's home."

"It's beautiful," I said, studying the clean lines and simple elegance of the building. My mother had a degree in architecture and had filled our apartment with plans and blueprints. She had educated me in the art of building, and had made sure her only child had understood what made a good building. She would have loved this one. It was regal in a non-fussy way.

"Thank you," Eleazar said. He came around the car to join Emmett and me as we faced the portico. "It was built in the seventeen hundreds. The king then specifically wanted the Palace to be simple, a contrast to the other more ornate and larger royal residences of the continent."

The French doors opened up, and a group of four men in simple, dark green uniforms came out and helped the driver remove the luggage from the trunk of the car. A woman also walked out with them. She was fairly small with fine features and light tanned skin. Her hair was long and silky-black. She looked to be older than I was, maybe in her late thirties or early forties. She wore a fine, dark red dress that draped her body in a modest way. Eleazar grinned and walked over to her, pulling her into his arms and placing a chaste kiss on her lips. He guided her over and introduced her to us.

"Darling, this is Edward Cullen and Emmett McCarthy. Edward and Emmett, this is my charming wife, Carmen."

Emmett and I both shook her hand as she welcomed us to the Palace. She guided us inside, which I was thankful for; it was cold and the wind bit into me. It seemed the weather was going to take some getting used to. It got cold in New York, but this was something else. It was like ice cutting though my skin.

Carmen must have noticed me shivering violently, because she laughed and said, "You will have to get a thicker coat, Señior Cullen. It gets cold up here." Her voice held a thick Spanish accent. I was surprised to hear it here in this little valley wedged between France and Switzerland. I smiled grimly at her and rubbed my hands on my arms as I studied the room we had entered.

It was high ceilinged and oddly bright as the light reflected off the gleaming marble walls, columns and the tiled floor. The lobby was wide and open in the middle with doors that branched off to the sides. There wasn't much furniture in the room, just a couple of dark wood tables set against the walls that held vases and flowers. The lobby was obviously just meant to be a place to welcome guests who'd just come in from town, or had newly arrived, not a place to stay and conduct business.

One of the men who had come out to help carry our luggage inside had stopped to confer with Eleazar for a moment. As soon as he walked off, disappearing down the corridor to the left, Eleazar turned to us. "Queen Renee is entertaining at the moment. She has been told of your arrival. She understands that you are more than likely tired after your long journey, but she would like to know if you would be willing to join her in about an hour."

Emmett looked over at me, letting me make the decision. We'd have to do it at some point, better to get the introductions over with sooner rather than later. I wasn't very tired anyway. "That sounds good," I said awkwardly. I wasn't quite sure how to answer. Weren't you supposed to use some kind regal, flowery language?

Eleazar laughed - at my uncomfortable face no doubt. "Wonderful. We have time to get you settled in your rooms first. Follow me." He led us though the door directly across from where we entered. The hall was much the same as the lobby had been; the white marble continued, as did the paintings. Also along these walls were green, white, and even occasionally red, tapestries. They were bright against the plain white walls, but I could tell, as we walked, that they were likely much older than I was. The hallway branched off in several different directions. I knew it wouldn't take much to get lost around here.

Eleazar took a right and then two lefts before stopping in front of a nondescript wooden door in the middle of a typical white hallway. He pushed open the heavy looking door and guided us into a sitting room. There were two couches and a coffee table set in front of a warm fireplace. To the left of this was a small ornate desk and to the right was a black baby grand piano. Its glossy polish was immediately enticing; I couldn't resist a shiny piano.

"There is a music room in the palace that has better acoustics," Eleazar said, when he noticed where my gaze had fallen. "But we thought you might also like one to work on in privacy."

I was inordinately thankful for the thought. I did like to work alone most of the time, especially in the early days of a piece. It would be nice to not have to lose that. "Thank you," I told him.

I let my gaze travel to the rest of the room, taking in the details. The furniture was all thick and heavy, and the wood of the desk, coffee table, and mantle was all dark red. The walls were painted dark green and the carpet was the same color. The cushions were various dark greens and reds. It was clearly meant to be used by several men. There were two doors on the back wall, one on the left, the other on the right.

"Your rooms are back there." Carmen pointed toward the doors. "Señior McCarthy, you are on the left and Señior Cullen, you are on the right. You should find your luggage already inside. If you should need anything, there is a panel by the outer door, simply ring."

Emmett and I thanked them, and they left us to settle in, Eleazar promising to be back in twenty minutes to take us to meet the Queen. I immediately made my way over to the piano and reverently lifted the key cover. I hadn't had access to a piano since I'd left New York three days ago. I was looking forward to being able to play again. I played a chord, just to make sure the magnificent instrument was in tune, and then launched into a simple melody I'd been playing for years. It was like riding a bicycle; it took no effort at all to send my fingers flying across the keys.

Emmett laughed, breaking my thoughts. I looked over at him, my fingers never ceasing their enchantments. "What, Emmett?"

"Nothing." He shrugged. "You might want to leave your new baby alone though and go unpack. That was my only thought."

I sighed and closed the piano. He did have a point. "Fine, Emmett, happy?"

"I'm not unhappy." Emmett laughed as he disappeared into his room. I shook my head as I went through my own door, which I was pleased to note, was the closest to the piano. The room was a good sized and the coloring was lighter than the sitting room. The queen-sized bed was covered by a pale blue duvet and pillows. There was a white fireplace with a wing backed chair in front of it and there was a nice bathroom to the left. "Home sweet home," I muttered to myself, and began unpacking.

I didn't spend long unpacking, merely pulling out clothes until I found a nicer button up than the simple t-shirt I had thrown on this morning and a pair of black trousers. I ran a brush though my hair, trying unsuccessfully to tame it. Giving up, I left the bedroom and headed out to the sitting room to wait for Eleazar. Emmett wasn't there and his bedroom door was closed, so I took to exploring the room. Knowing that if I sat down at the piano at this point, I would have to be dragged away from it, I meandered over to the fireplace. There wasn't a fire going at the moment, but I could see evidence of previous fires. The dark mantle was engraved with ornate swirls and circles.

I wondered who'd had this room before Emmett and me. It was clearly meant to appeal to men. Emmett would like it. For my tastes, it was a little too dark; I liked the lighter colors of my bedroom more. Nevertheless, this was home for the foreseeable future, so I would learn to live with it.

It was weird not having windows though. My apartment, and my parents apartment for that matter, in New York, all had lots of windows. Here, there was no views, no natural light. I wondered if it was because the windows let out so much warmth, or if it was just because these rooms didn't have an outside wall.

Emmett came back out into the sitting room, startling me from my thoughts. His brown curls were plastered close to his head. He had at least changed his shirt; he had been wearing a ratty, old band shirt. He now had on a baby-blue button down. He was still wearing blue jeans, though. "Blue jeans?" I raised my eyebrows questionably.

"What? They're nice jeans." Emmett honestly looked confused as to why I had questioned his jeans.

"Never mind," I muttered, letting it go. He wouldn't listen to me anyway.

He flopped onto the hunter green couch and placed his feet up on the coffee table. I suppressed a groan. That table was probably at least a hundred-years-old. Emmett didn't realize this, it seemed. He was merely making himself at home. Honestly, it was a little funny to see his burly, six foot four frame draped across the elegant, antique furniture. Most of it looked like it would break underneath his weight. I couldn't resist a snort.

"Fuck," Emmett swore. "No TV."

"I'm sure you'll survive, Emmett," I told him, leaning against the mantel. "And please remember to watch your mouth and not say the wrong thing to the wrong person." Emmett rolled his eyes at me and refused to answer. He thought I was being ridiculous; it was written all over his face.

A sharp rap on the door alerted us to the fact the Eleazar was back. I went and opened the door while Emmett got up from the couch. Eleazar and Carmen both came in. Eleazar studied Emmett and I closely. I was pretty sure he was checking to make sure we were dressed appropriately. He didn't say anything about Emmett's jeans, so I decided to let it go. If he got himself in trouble, it was his own fault.

Eleazar ushered back out into the hallway and lead us in the opposite direction from the way we came in, telling us, "In the future, until you learn your way around, there will be someone to show you where to go. The Palace is rather confusing if you're new here. It's a lot like a rabbit warren."

I laughed and had to agree. With the lack of windows, it did feel like we were underground, and the halls spilt off every which way, giving one the feeling of being in a maze. I did hope it wouldn't take too long to learn my way around. I didn't want to have to be shown around everywhere.

Perhaps seeing the uneasy look on my face, Carmen reassured us that learning our way around the Palace was not as hard as it seemed. "With the exception of the royal apartments, all of the residences are close to the center. The dining rooms, libraries, studies, and parlors are on the outer sides." When she explained it like that, I could see how easy it might be.

I noticed that the closer we got to the outer parts of the palace, the more people were in the halls. This was clearly where everyone went about the business of running a country, even one as small as this. A few stopped to say hello to Eleazar and Carmen, but most seemed to be able to tell that they were headed somewhere important, so they didn't bug them.

Eleazar stopped us in front of a cherry wood door. He knocked twice then waited a moment before the door opened. An attendant opened it just a crack, and upon seeing Eleazar, he opened it wide and ushered us in. We were standing in a well-furnished parlor in light spring colors. A warm fire blazed in the fireplace on the right wall, and on the wall opposite where we entered was a wall of glass. The windows looked across a garden to the ever-present mountains in the distance. A group of people, mostly women, though there were a few men as well, were sitting on couches and chairs close to the fireplace, where it was warmest. I took a deep breath and tried to settle my uneasy stomach. One of these must be the Queen. I had never been prone to nervousness before, but for some reason now I was. I didn't really know how to act properly around royalty. I was an American; we didn't really understand the concept.

_Just be yourself. It can't be that bad._

A thin woman with dark reddish brown hair got up from the couch and came over to us. "Eleazar, I'm glad you're home." Her voice was high and she spoke very fast. She kissed Eleazar's cheek and gave Carmen a hug before turning to face us.

"Your Majesty, may I present to you Mr. Edward Cullen and Mr. Emmett McCarthy." Eleazar pointed us out before turning to us. "Edward, Emmett, this is Her Majesty, Queen Renee Dwyer."

This was the Queen? She wasn't at all what I had expected. I thought she would be regal, stiff, and proper. Instead she was small with laugh lines around her thin lips, and clear blue eyes. Her dark red-brown hair was cut short so that it framed her thin face. She wore a frilly green skirt that ran down to her knees. A simple brown sweater, brown stockings, and boots completed the outfit. It was a far cry from the high collars and floor-length skirts I was expecting.

Emmett and I both made a motion to bow, but the Queen stopped us by coming up in front of us and placing her small, pale hands on our shoulders. "Really, that's not necessary. Although, my husband would say it was." She laughed, her blue eyes sparkling with mischievousness.

"Well, my Momma would say 'never do what a man says,' Your Majesty." Emmett grinned, showing off his dimples. I cringed inwardly, but Queen Renee just laughed harder. Hum, maybe Emmett was right, I just needed to loosen up.

"Your mother sounds like someone I would love," she told Emmett.

"Well, she can kick my butt," Emmett told her. She laughed again before turning to me with a straighter face. "Come, there are some people I want you to meet." I was introduced to everyone in the room, most of whose names I would never remember. I did gather that they were the rulers of the different proveniences of the Valley. I did my best to make polite conversation, though I was increasingly awkward. I had never liked to be around a lot of people I didn't know. It made me uncomfortable to have to force conversation. I was glad when the Queen pulled me to the side.

We watched Emmett unabashedly flirt and charm everyone in the room. Emmett was a natural when in a new environment. He was flamboyant and outgoing, along with being an oversized kid that naturally drew people to him. I couldn't help but grin and be a little jealous.

"Your friend is a quite a natural with the ladies." Queen Renee giggled at my side.

"He always has been." I nodded.

"He better watch out for the fathers around here. Though, I'm not sure they could do anything to him." She did have a point; at six foot four and thickly muscled, Emmett was a monster. The men in the room found him intimidating, while the women found him attractive. She was right; Emmett was in trouble.

"Then let me apologize here and now for anything he may say or do, Your Majesty." She laughed and shook her head.

"Nonsense, and call me Renee, please," she told me. "Now I know you're tired, but would you mind playing for us before you go? There's a piano in this room. It doesn't have to be anything grand." She looked up at me, begging me with her eyes. Tiredness was starting to seep in to my limbs, but I could play for a moment. To be honest, I could play in my sleep.

"I would be honored, ma'am."

She grinned and clapped her hands to get the room's attention. "Everyone, Edward has agreed to play for us briefly." She showed me to an old upright set against the opposite wall. I lifted the key cover to find that the keys had turned yellow, but other than that, it seemed to be in a good condition. I placed my feet on the pedals and let my fingers hover over the keys. "Any requests?" I asked, looking at Renee who stood next to my bench.

"Something original?" she asked.

That I could do. One of my earliest pieces, one I had written for my mother. Meeting Renee had made me think of her, though they were nothing alike. Gently I dropped my fingers down on the keys and slowly began building the melody for my mother's song. It was soft, sweet, and loving, everything that I saw in my mother. It was never very loud, didn't have some great crescendo, was simple, and just a little bit childish. I didn't mind, I had written most of this piece when I was five, so that was to be expected. I had changed it a little over the years, but it still remained much the same. This time when I played it, there was a hint of angst, my bout of homesickness and uncertainty seeping through my fingers and into my music. As I brought the song to an end, it was still the same as always, my love song for my mom.

My fingers stilled on the keys, and there was applause from behind me. This song never failed to attract the women in the crowd. Renee had tears in her eyes as she clapped. "That was beautiful," she gushed as I stood up, blushing. "Is there a story to it?"

"I wrote it for my mother," I told her.

"I wish my daughter, Bella, had been here. She would have loved it." She looked over my shoulder toward the door, her eyes widening in shock. "There's one more person you need to meet before you leave."

She grabbed my arm and pulled me toward the door, Emmett following in our wake. There was a tall, dark-haired man standing by the door. He was dressed in a nice suit, and his sharp, brown eyes took in his surroundings with a calculating eye. His face looked hard until he noticed us. When he saw us coming toward him, he softened it purposely. Renee let go of my arm and went to stand by him, wrapping an arm around his waist.

"Phil, I would like you to meet Edward and Emmett. Edward is that pianist I was telling you about. Edward, Emmett, this is my husband, King Consort Philip." I saw a small scowl etch his face when Renee said "consort." Evidently he wasn't happy about the title but didn't want anyone to know it. He held out his hand, and we shook it. Phillip welcomed us and acted very generously, but I was good at reading people. I noticed how, as we talked, his eyes would narrow as he studied us. His gently probing questions left little room in which to avoid them. It was clear where the real power lay. I wondered briefly how the two of them had gotten together. They were like night and day.

"One more thing before you go," Renee said. "Tomorrow is our annual Fall Ball, and the two of you are expected to attend. I've already taken the liberty of having tuxedos fitted for the both of you. I'll send them to you in the morning. Good night."

With that, we were dismissed. Eleazar made sure we got to our room and then left as well. There was food in the sitting room by the time we got back. Emmett went at it like a starving bear while I merely nibbled. After he ate, he went to bed, and I went to sit at the piano. If there was a ball tomorrow, I might not get a chance to play then. My fingers dropped to the keys and played just little bits that came to my mind. They obviously belonged together, but they were disjointed as always. Much like how I had felt most of my life. I really wasn't in the mood to analyze myself tonight though, so I lost myself in the notes and melodies under my fingertips.

**AN: **

Ugh, I love Edward. Have I mentioned that before? Yeah I thought so.

Reviews make the world go round. Well, not really, but you get the point. Also, come by EveryDayBella89 on Twitter. Teasers and other such fun if you want it.

Next, its the ball! So, so good if I do say so myself. Part 1 of it anyway. Tootles!


	7. You're Beautiful

**AN: **

I own two copies of Twilight, New Moon, Eclipse, and Breaking Dawn, and I am dieing for the BD trailer in a couple weeks. Other than that, I don't own anything, it's not mine other my own crazy mind.

Thanks agian to my awesome reviewers! I wouldn't ahve gotten this far with you. Also thanks to my beta State of Delusion, for fixing my errors. My thanks also goes out to HEAR and AnthroBug for their help as well. Okay, enough of me talking, go read.

**Chapter 6**

**You're Beautiful**

_You're beautiful, it's true._

_I saw your face in a crowded place,_

_And I don't know what to do,_

'_Cause I'll never be with you._

_-James Blunt_

**EPOV**

I sighed and pulled the brush though my hair one more time before scowling at the mirror. I could tame almost any instrument beneath my fingers, bringing grown men to their knees in tears because my piano moved them so, but I could not get my unruly, bronze hair to lay flat. At first, I had to use so much gel that it looked like a shiny, hard cap on my head. I had washed that out and tried to use just water instead, but it had sprung back up within minutes. I groaned and gave up. At least bed hair was in style at the moment, and that was a point in my favor. I would just have to hope I wasn't committing a fashion faux pas.

Leaving the bathroom, I walked out into the bedroom I had spent one night in. The fluffy bed had indeed been comfortable after I had forced myself away from the piano around midnight. I had managed to get a couple hours of sleep before it was morning again. Emmett and I had been shown around the Palace this morning. I was most interested in the promised music room and the many libraries. The music room was a large, circular room with a dais in the middle. Every instrument I could think of was there, from classical to rock. The lights were bright on the white floor and walls. There wasn't enough time for me to stop and play anything, but I vowed to come back as soon as I could. I also planned to visit the library we were shown. It had floor to ceiling bookshelves, with rows and rows of books. I saw historical books, romances, science fiction, and fantasy in just the short glance I got.

Emmett enjoyed the workout rooms and the weight lifting equipment. I was sure he already had a date with the treadmill. I, for one, would stay as far away from those rooms as possible, at least until Emmett dragged me in there.

Now we had to get ready for a ball. While we were out this morning, someone had dropped off two black suits in the sitting room. Thanks to the measurements we had given in Paris, the tuxedos were a perfect fit. If I could just get my hair to lie flat, I would be happier. I glanced at the clock on the mantle to confirm how much time I had left. I was still fine. I pulled on the crisp white shirt I had slung over the chair.

Tuxes were nothing new to me. You were expected to wear nice black suits to recitals, and when I entered Juilliard you had to wear a tuxedo. I personally didn't understand why. Tuxes were uncomfortable and even the best fitting one restricted arm movement, making it harder to play. Maybe that was the point, to challenge you. It wouldn't surprise me.

The girls at school had told me that I was pretty hot in a tux. They had been trying to flirt with me; I knew that. I just wasn't interested. They were pretty enough I guess, but nothing that really caught my eye. Not that I didn't understand the relationship between men and women, but mine were nothing serious, purely casual. Well, perhaps all but one.

Esme, my sweet mother, was worried about me. She thought I was too quiet and intuitive, and too in love with my piano. Not that she had told me any of this: I just knew because she told Carlisle and Emmett, and they told me. I could read her face, too. She hadn't been happy when I had left New York. But I had to leave at some point. I would just have to make sure I called her often to keep her from worrying herself to death.

Shaking off my troubles, I tucked my shirt in and reached for my bowtie. When I looked around for a mirror, I couldn't find one. I didn't want to go to the humid bathroom. I remembered seeing one in the sitting room. Shrugging, I grabbed the tux jacket and headed out to find the mirror.

Sure enough, on the dark green wall next to the door to Emmett's room was a mirror. I laid my jacket on the piano and loped across the room. I had learned to tie my own ties years ago, so I had no problem twisting the thin black silk around my neck into a neat bow. Emmett's skills, on the other hand, were a different matter.

Without any warning, the door to his room flew open and he came out yelling, "Edward!"

"Jesus, Emmett." I jumped back out of shock when his door banged open. He was, quite literally a bull in a china shop. He would end up breaking something one of these days. "Could you please try to be gentle with the things around here?"

Emmett merely grinned and shrugged. "I was trying to tie this bowtie and couldn't do it. Help me out?" He held up his tie and pointed to his neck. I shrugged and rolled my eyes as I took the tie from his fingers.

"You know," I said, as I pulled his collar up. "Queen Renee told me yesterday that you should watch out for the fathers around here."

Emmett grinned unabashedly, and his blue eyes twinkled with promised mischief. "Really? I will try to take her advice then. Stay away from the daddies. That must mean their daughters are hot, huh?"

"Emmett." I groaned as I finished his bowtie. He really was far too incorrigible. I should have just kept my mouth shut. Instead, he was going to take it as a challenge. He would be trying to charm as many girls tonight as possible, right under their father's noses. "Just take it easy, okay. We just got here; let's not ruffle too many feathers."

He shrugged and laughed, brushing off my advice without a second thought. He disappeared back into his room, leaving his door open. I could see him wander back into the bathroom that was connected to his bedroom. _Lucky bastard_, he could control his hair.

I wandered back over to the piano. I knew better than to sit down and play, but I couldn't resist. I moved the jacket to the couch and sat down on the bench. I didn't play anything specific, mostly just random notes and melodies. My mind was chaotic and scrambled, running a hundred miles an minute. That left little room for grand, spur of the moment compositions.

Tonight was going to be important. It would be our first appearance with the rest of the Court. Emmett would be fine; he was a natural in large groups. His effusive personality drew everyone in. A joke here, a little flirting there, and he would have them eating out of his hands. Just so long as he didn't say anything out of turn, he would be fine. It was myself I was worried about. I was the exact opposite. I floundered in large groups. I became self-conscious and fidgety. I didn't know what to say or how to say it. I was more comfortable by myself or with a small group of friends. It was more than likely a product of being an only child.

Many people had told me that I could be very charming and outgoing if I would just ease up and let go occasionally. Basically, all I had to do was copy Emmett. Great, that was a recipe for disaster. No, I had to be myself, which was easier said than done.

To distract myself from my brooding, I started paying attention to the music my fingers were creating. I was unsurprised to find I had been playing snatches of music that haunted my every waking hour since I was the age of ten. Usually the short moments of sweet symphony were enough to calm my nerves and stop my head from spinning. But these haunting melodies drove me nuts. Their incomplete breaks and gasps were glaring. No matter how hard I tried to fill them, they couldn't be filled. Maybe Emmett was right; maybe I really did need a muse. Well, she better hurry up and make an appearance, because this piece was driving me up the wall.

This misbegotten piece had done its job. It had managed to calm me down a little. I was no longer worrying about tonight's ball. I would do my best not to let my nerves get to me. I could do it. I had done it before, and I could do it again. Honestly, my greatest worry should be Emmett. He would more than likely get himself into serious trouble if I didn't keep an eye on him. It looked like I had my work cut out for me tonight.

Emmett reappeared at that moment, fully dressed. The black jacket had tails, which I hadn't noticed before. I had to assume that mine did as well. His curly brown hair was puffy as well, almost forming an afro. I pressed my lips together tightly and tried to control my shaking caused by my compressed laughter. Emmett's confused "What?" at my odd expression did me in.

I laughed so hard there were tears rolling down my cheeks. The image before me of a towering, hulking Emmett in a tux with tails and a ridiculous afro, the likes of which he hadn't had since middle school, sent me into a round of hysteria. It was just odd. Of course, the shifting emotions on his face didn't help either. First he was confused, and then he went to shock, worry, until finally his baby blue eyes flashed with irritation. "What's so funny, Eddie?"

"Tux, afro." I managed to gasp out before I doubled over laughing. Even his use of my hated nickname wasn't enough to shake me out of it.

Emmett suddenly switched to looking smug. "Yeah, I wasn't sure it would still go up, but I still got it."

I snorted as I struggled to get my breathing back under control. I could always trust Emmett to do something ridiculous to snap me out of my brooding, even if he didn't know it himself. Emmett saw the world though rose colored glasses. Nothing got under his thick skin. It simply rolled off. I envied him that. Everything seemed to get to me no matter how hard I tried to keep it all at bay.

"Keep that going, Eddie." Emmett grinned. "And you should have a pretty good night."

"Don't call me, Eddie," I told him, for what must have been the billionth time. "And, keep what going?"

"That." He waved his hand over at me as he slouched down into the couch. "The laughing at nothing thing. It's been awhile since you've done that. At least since you broke up with…"

"Don't say her name!" I glared at him, furious he would even think to bring her up. Thinking about Victoria in my own head was one thing, Emmett saying her name and bringing her up was completely another.

He seemed to heed my warning and back tracked. "I was just saying it's been awhile. I'm glad to see you happy for a change."

I shrugged and tried to smile. It was nice to know he was worried, and I hadn't meant to snap at him. The subject of my past relationship was touchy at best. I wasn't over her; I knew that, even though she did break my heart. I was starting to recover, though. That was one of the reasons I wanted to come here, to get away from New York and the ghosts of my past. I still didn't think I could handle hearing her name, though.

"Thanks, Emmett," I muttered. "I'm sorry for snapping at you. It's just…" I trailed off, unwilling or unable to say more.

He nodded and grinned, understanding my silence. "Hey, she was a bitch. You were the one who liked her. The rest of us thought she was a bitch. I don't know what you saw in her, you silly romantic. If there's one of us who should be worried about women around here, it's you, not me."

I suppressed a laugh. He was right; I would end up falling for the most unattainable girl here, pining after her for months, and writing the greatest pieces of my young life. That was how these kinds of things happened, right? Emmett seemed to be giggling at the same thing. I grinned at the direction our conversion had taken, from afro to women, how typical.

A sharp knock on the door interrupted us. I got up from the piano and went to open the door. A blond man stood there in a simple white uniform with a high collar. "Mr. Cullen?" he asked, his accent so thick I had trouble understanding him.

"That's me."

"I'm here to show you and Mr. McCarty to the ballroom. Are you ready?"

"Give us just one minute." I went back and shrugged into my jacket. Of course, it had tails. "Come on, Emmett. Let's go." He lumbered off the couch and we followed the blond man out to the hall.

He guided us silently through the castle. The closer we got to the outer parts of the palace, the more people we saw. Mostly, it was just other white-clothed servants, scurrying about, doing their particular duties. Soon, others began appearing, heading the same direction we were. The men all wore dark suits like Emmett and me, but I also saw several in uniforms of dark green, white, or black. The woman all wore various styles of evening dresses. They were long and short, and every array of color imaginable. They reminded me of peacocks. They were primped and primed, strutting around like God's gifts to the world.

I could see the hallway curve ahead. Just as it curved, there were two wide wooden doors propped all the way open. Inside I could see a large, brightly lit room. The blond man stopped in front of the doors and turned to face us. "I hope you have a good night, sirs."

"Thanks," we told him. He turned and walked back the way we had come without another word. Emmett shrugged and squared his shoulders. "Ready, Eddie?" he asked.

I nodded. "Emmett, if you call me 'Eddie' in there, I will play the piano as loud as I like, for as many nights as I like, till you have to leave the apartment in order to get any sleep," I threatened. He made a show of swallowing a lump in his throat before winking at me.

"Damn it," I muttered as we walked through the doors.

Just as I had thought from down the hall the room was indeed large. It stretched forward for what had to be at least seventy or eighty feet to a glass wall that I could dimly see opened up to the gardens. The room extended out to the sides as well, forming a large square. In the middle of the high ceiling hung an elegant, crystal chandler that shed light throughout the rest of the room. Ornate sconces set in the sidewalls shed even more light, filling the ballroom with a soft, even glow. The tiled floor was polished like a mirror, so that it cast reflections of the ceiling and the guests walking on it. There wasn't much furniture in the room, just some chairs along the side, and a bar in the back.

There were already at least two hundred people in the ballroom, but it didn't feel crowded. There was a band set up on a dais on the right. They weren't playing yet, so the crowd of finely dressed men and women wandered around the room talking in small groups.

"Come on." Emmett slapped my back with one of his meaty hands, making me stumble a couple of steps. "I need a drink."

We made our way back to the right corner by the wall where the bar was set up. The black marble countertop gleamed much like the floor beneath our feet. Emmett and I squeezed into an open space between two men and their female companions. Emmett caught the bartender's attention. "Whiskey on the rocks," he ordered. It seemed you couldn't take the backwoods of Tennessee out of the boy. "You?" he asked.

"Just a bourbon, please," I said. A tall man standing next to Emmett turned to us after the bartender left to work on our drinks. His hair was a dark, inky black, while his eyes were a startling, crystal clear blue. They reminded me of Emmett's, only they were more studious and lacked that mischievous spark that so often lit Emmett's eyes. The man's face was sharp and angular and his eyes were deep set. He studied Emmett and I with obvious suspicion. I guess, maybe as newcomers, Emmett and I stuck out like a sore thumb.

"May I ask who you are?" he asked, his voice deep and smooth.

I reached around Emmett and offered my hand. "I'm Edward Cullen, and this is my friend, Emmett McCarty." The dark haired man's eyes lightened, the suspicion leaving, but he still looked a little weary.

"Mr. Cullen." He took my hand in a firm grip. "I heard you had arrived yesterday. We've heard a lot about you. I am Lord Frank Brandon and this is my wife, Lady Abigail." He gestured to the tiny woman standing behind him. She was so small I hadn't seen her there till he pointed her out. Short and thin in the extreme, she looked like any strong wind would blow her away. Her delicate features made her look fragile, but something about the fierce glint in her eyes told me she was much stronger than she looked. Her hazel eyes and thin lips were turned up in a smile as her husband introduced her.

"Mr. Cullen." She grinned as she offered me her hand. "Queen Renee was telling me about your performance yesterday. I really hope to be able to hear you play soon."

"Thank you." I ducked my head and tried not to blush. I was so easily embarrassed when I was complimented. Lady Abigail laughed, her voice like wind chimes. "I'm sorry, I did not mean to embarrass you. Frank, I'm going to go find Cynthia. Take it easy on these two, will you."

"Yes, my dear." Lord Brandon smirked as his petite wife moved away from us through the growing crowd. "Cynthia is our youngest daughter. This is her first ball where she will be escorted by a man, rather than by her parents. He's a bit of an idiot, but I could not say no to her. Tell me, Edward, Emmett, do you have any family?"

We had turned back to the bar as he spoke. Emmett pushed my bourbon into my hands. "I'm an only child, so it's just me and my parents. Emmett has a large family, though."

While Emmett and Lord Brandon talked about Emmett's large and rambunctious family, I studied our surroundings while sipping my bourbon. A festive, lively atmosphere was permeating the room. Everyone that I saw walking by was laughing and talking freely. The women were on the men's arms, and the men were proudly showing them off. Of course, not all the ladies and gentlemen were attached. Singles moved amongst the confirmed couples with an easy grace. It was my guess that most everyone here had either grown up within these marble walls, or had been here before, as everyone seemed to know everyone else. There still wasn't any music playing, but I got the feeling we were all waiting on something.

"Tell me, Edward." Lord Brandon's deep voice startled me out of my people watching. "What does your father do?"

I guess it was my turn to be grilled about my family. I couldn't really say I was surprised. I was the newcomer in a strictly regimented society. I could handle it. "He's a surgeon and he helps train new doctors as well, since he works at a teaching hospital."

"That's very noble. Your mother runs several charities, does she not?"

The last comment let me know that I had been looked into before I had even come. It wasn't a threat or a warning - it was just letting me know that fact. I nodded a yes to his question and left everything else unsaid. I didn't feel comfortable disclosing my parents' secrets to a virtual stranger. Lord Brandon seemed to understand and let it go. "I truly didn't mean to be nosey, that's more my daughter, Alice's, job. It is my job to protect the Queen, which is why I asked you the questions I did. I like you both. I will make sure to get you introduced to the important people. Life around here will be much easier for you if I do."

Emmett and I both expressed our thanks. In truth, I had been worried about that. It was nice to have support from someone in the government who was willing to work with us.

A young man in a sharp suit came over to Lord Brandon and whispered in his ear for a moment. Afterward, he disappeared back into the crowd. Lord Brandon turned to us. "Come with me," he said, draining his glass. He guided us toward the door leading back to the hallway. Everyone seemed to be gathering in the middle of the room, facing those doors. I didn't know why we were doing this, but I decided I would just follow what everyone else was doing. Lord Brandon walked over to stand next to his wife. On her other side was a taller woman with the same honey brown-hair and delicate features. I assumed that she was one of their daughters. Lord Brandon motioned us over to stand with him.

"Cynthia, this is Edward Cullen and Emmett McCarty. Gentlemen, this is my younger daughter, Cynthia, and next to her is Michael Newton." His voice soured as he mentioned his daughter's escort. Michael was of normal height, with a baby face, and blond hair that was arranged into tidy spikes. He was wearing a simple black suit without any ornamentation.

"It's a pleasure to meet you," Cynthia told us, shaking both of our hands. "I've heard a lot about you. Princess Bella was most interested in your arrival."

"Cynthia," her father told her sharply. A teasing spark had entered her voice with her last comment, and I had no doubt that he didn't appreciate it. Cynthia winked at him and grinned unabashedly. "Sorry, Papa," she told him, sounding anything but. I laughed shakily.

"Just ignore him," Emmett whispered conspiratorially, sensing a kindred spirit no doubt. "My friends a wet noodle." She grinned at him excitedly, and I suppressed a groan. It looked like Emmett had made a friend.

Michael leaned over and held out his hand to me. "It's nice to meet you, Edward. I'm Mike. You and I are both artists you know."

I smiled and shook his hand. I knew there were several different artistic types staying at the Palace, but I didn't know who they were or what they did. Mike struck me as a bit obnoxious at first glance. There didn't seem to be anything special about him, and yet he carried himself like he was an equal to most everyone in the room when I knew for a fact that he was just like me. We were artists surrounded by people who claimed the title of lord. I thought that required an amount of humility. Apparently, Mike did not.

Before I could say anything, a man walked through the wide doorway and clapped his hands to get the room's attention. "Lords and Ladies," he called in a loud, clear voice so that everyone in the room could hear him. "May I present to you Their Royal Majesties, Queen Renee, King Phillip, and Princess Bella." The royal family walked through the doors to applause from the audience. I recognized Queen Renee immediately. Her light brown hair was curled and piled on top of her head, so that it cascaded down in rivulets. She was wearing a deep green dress. There was a large silver and diamond tiara hidden in her curls as well. Her blue eyes were sparkling and bright, and she was obviously in her element. King Phillip stood next to her wearing a dark suit. His dark eyes studied the gathered crowd speculatively. He was smiling an ambivalent smile, but his eyes told a different story. He reminded me of a vulture, waiting to see which cow from the herd would go down first. To anyone less studied in reading people, he would look like a normal ambivalent king. To me, it was quite clear he was a schemer.

However, my attention was focused on the woman to Queen Renee's right. She was, shorter than the Queen. Her skin was pale white - like fine china or porcelain. It was luminous and bright. Her thick mahogany curls were pulled out of her face by small silver clips. Her deep blue dress was sleeveless and fell to a full skirt. The skirt was shot through with silver veins. It was her eyes, though, that caught my attention. They were brown and deep enough to drown in, even from a distance. They spoke of secrets that even I couldn't decipher. A light red stain colored her checks as she stood awkwardly next to her mother. She clearly didn't like being the center of attention, that much I could tell. I could also tell that she was completely beautiful. The blue of her dress set off her pale skin, and her dark hair was like a halo around her face. I was unable to take my eyes off of her.

Cynthia must have noticed my gaze, because she leaned over to me and whispered, "The woman in the blue dress, that's Princess Bella." I could have guessed as much. Really, someone that beautiful had to be a princess, if not an angel.

I was vaguely aware of King Phillip calling for music and sweeping Queen Renee into a waltz. At the same moment, a tall, handsome man in a red uniform stepped up to the princess's side. I had seen him and quite a few others walk in behind the royal family. He spoke to her quietly for a moment before guiding her to the middle of the dance floor and sweeping her into his arms.

I shivered uncontrollably, not because I was cold. I felt uncomfortably hot in this suit. I shivered because I was jealous. I was furious at that little spec of a man who was dancing with the women how had completely captured my attention. I wanted to do that. I should be doing that. _Whoa, were had that come from?_ I thought, shocking myself out of my daze.

I needed a drink. Tearing my eyes away from the dancing couple, I saw that most of the crowd had broken up. Those with partners had been pulled onto the dance floor, and everyone else was mingling around the edges in groups. Leaving Emmett to his own devices, I headed to the black glass wall and back to the bar. Ordering another bourbon, I leaned against the counter and tried to catch my suddenly uneven breath. I couldn't believe I had let one beautiful woman get to me like that. I didn't even know her, and she was so far out of my league that I shouldn't even be able to see her. Something about those deep, chocolate-brown eyes had captured my attention. They seemed to hold secrets unnumbered, even I couldn't read them. I couldn't think about anything else, but the dark-haired angel.

Sipping my bourbon, I tried to clear my mind. I did better than I thought I would; I managed to banish Princess Bella, who didn't even know I existed, by focusing on my surroundings and my surroundings only. I noted the dark amber color of my drink, the cream tiles of the floor, and the colorful paintings on the ceiling. When I was sure I had regained my self-control, I finished my glass of liquid courage and headed back out into the crowd, aiming to find Emmett. It would seem fate was out to get me as the person who was calling my name was not Emmett.

"Edward!" King Phillip called when he saw me trying to squeeze past. Of course, I had no choice but to acknowledge his call. He was a king after all. "Edward, I trust you're enjoying yourself?" he asked as I approached.

"Greatly, sir," I said, though I was anything but enjoying myself. It was actually turning out to be worse than I had ever thought it would be.

"Good, good." He laughed. "Come, there is someone I want you to meet."

He led me through the throng to one of the sidewalls, and right into the last place I wanted to be. "Isabella, this is Edward Cullen, the pianist you were asking about. Edward, I'd like you to meet my step-daughter, Isabella."

Her eyes were even more hypnotic up close. They swam with such deep emotion, the source of which I did not know. They were so deep that I knew the source of all the emotion had to be in there somewhere. "Call me, Bella, please." Her voice was light and strong and sent shivers up my spine. I also saw her eyes flash up at King Phillip's for a moment and she didn't look happy. I wondered why.

"It's a pleasure to meet you," I said, trying not to get lost in her eyes. She blushed for some reason and ducked her head, the rose tint staining her checks. I rather liked it.

"I was sorry to hear that I missed your performance yesterday." She still wouldn't raise her head. "I do love the piano, though."

"Do you play?"

"Oh, no." She looked up at me finally and laughed. "I tried once. I just couldn't grasp it."

Her laugh had made me want to jump out of my skin. It was like sleigh bells or wind chimes. It was beautiful, just like everything else about her. I hadn't noticed that the king had left, or that we were surrounded by hundreds of people, or that we were unconsciously leaning toward each other. My world had narrowed down to only the woman in front of me. "Well, maybe you just need a better teacher," I said, thoughtfully.

"Are you a good teacher?" she asked, her gaze never leaving my eyes. I swallowed a lump in my throat.

"I can be," I stuttered.

"Bella!" The sharp female voice cut through the fog, and Princess Bella and I jumped apart. She stumbled, but managed to stay upright by some miracle. I had to lock my limbs in place to keep from reaching out and grabbing her. "What, Rose?" she asked the blonde who had called her.

"Can I talk to you for a moment?" Rose, asked, her voice still sharp. She looked a little harried.

"Um, sure," Bella told her before turning back to me. "Save a dance for me later?"

"Of course, My Lady," I told her, glad to have an excuse to see her again. She smiled and disappeared with her friend, leaving me staggering under the weight of what had just happened.

I had a sinking feeling, as I made my way back to the bar. The prediction I had made earlier, about falling for someone I could never have, was coming true right before my eyes. I was unconditionally and irrevocably screwed, because it would seem I was falling rather quickly for the Princess.

**AN: **

YAY, they've met! At least for a moment. What did ya think? Drop me a line and let me and let me know. You could also go over to EveryDayBella89 on Twitter talk to me there to.

Next, I think we need to see what Bella thinks about all of this. BYE!


	8. I Saw Her Standing There

**AN. **

Hello everybody! I'm sorry it been so long. Trust me I know. I won't keep you to long. In fact I own some Twilight chess piece bookends. However I don't own Twilight. Okay go read I'll see you at the bottom.

Oh, and thanks to my beta's State of Delusion, Batgirl8968, onlybythenight1. I would be lost with out them.

**Chapter 8**

**I Saw Her Standing There**

_Well she looked at me, and I, I could see,_

_That before too long I'd fall in love with her._

_She wouldn't dance with another,_

_When I saw her standing there._

_-The Beatles_

**EPOV**

The night was turning out to be worse than even I had thought possible. It was like being in the third circle of hell and then being given an express ticket to the seventh. One where the fires are hottest and you're constantly haunted by a pair of mysterious chocolate brown eyes that are so deep they seem endless. No amount of warm, amber liquid forced down my throat seemed to change the situation.

The large marble room was humming with activity and conversation. I could hear laughter, excitement, and hushed tones of affection. They were a blur to me though. I had wandered through the room with Lord Brandon, following him as he introduced me to a handful of men and women, who I'm sure I was supposed to remember, but it all passed in front of me like the flipping of pages. I just couldn't focus on the world around me. I was caught up in the few moments that I spent in the presence of a goddess in human form. I'm being overly dramatic, I know, but I just couldn't pull myself away from the beautiful heart shaped face and soft smile of Isabella Swan.

I finally managed to escape from Lord Brandon, who seemed to have noticed that I was not paying any attention to the revolving door of people. I made my escape to the bar, all the while checking the crowd for a flash of blue and silver. Not finding any, I settled in at the bar with a bourbon, content just to watch the people around me. It helped ease my mind to simply see how other normal people went through their days. I studied the couples who huddled together against the bar, sipping their drinks as they took a break from dancing. The bartenders rushed about trying to fill all the drink orders. I drank my bourbon and tried to ignore the butterflies in my stomach.

There were two women standing together at the end of the bar. One was tall and blond, wearing a tight fitting red dress. The other was tiny with black hair done up in orderly spikes. She was wearing a bright green dress with a frilly skirt that came to her knees. The brightness of the color acted like a beacon, drawing the eyes in. I had a feeling that was the intended purpose of her dress. The blond cut a sexy figure in the backless dress she wore. She was obviously comfortable drawing the attention of every man in the vicinity. She wasn't my type, at least not anymore, but I had to admit she was very beautiful. I had a sudden urge to find Emmett and make sure he wasn't getting in any trouble.

I continued to watch the two women out of the corner of my eye. They were the most interesting at the bar, so they held my attention. The blond didn't look very happy. Her face was flushed red and her odd violet eyes were hard as chips of ice. She was gripping her martini glass with fingers like claws. The slight black haired girl appeared to be trying to calm her down, but with a worried expression. I could tell that they were talking, but I was too far away and there was too much other noise to know what they were saying. I was wondering what they were upset about. The small one it seemed to have managed to calm down the blond. She no longer looked ready to fly into a rage. They were both watching the crowd now, worry etched on their features.

"Got your eye on something good?" A girl with honey-brown hair stood next to me. She glanced down the bar toward the two women I had been watching. "Um, you're not really Rosalie's type and Alice is already taken. I'm warning you, you really don't want to have Jasper coming after you."

I grinned and turned my eyes away from the two women to Cynthia Brandon who stood next to me. "Thank you for the advice, Ms. Brandon. Honestly, I'm not attracted to either of them."

Cynthia grinned, her baby blue eyes flashing with mischievousness. "Sure you aren't, Mr. Cullen. Everyone is attracted to Rosalie. If you're not, you're gay. Although, I did see you ogling the Princess earlier, so I'm guessing that's not the case."

I gave a startled laugh into my glass and was embarrassed to feel a light blush color my cheeks. I didn't realize anyone had noticed my reaction to the Princess earlier. If Cynthia had noticed then I had to wonder who else had done the same.

I heard her giggle when she noticed my blush. "Don't worry, Monsieur Cullen, your secret is safe with me. I don't think anyone else saw you."

"Thank you, Miss Brandon," I told her gratefully. I was glad no one else had noticed my secret obsession. I was a little shocked when I heard Cynthia order a drink from the bartender. "Are you old enough to drink, Ms. Brandon?"

"Cynthia." She winked. "And no, I'm seventeen. As long as my parents don't find out though, I'm fine."

I shrugged. It wasn't like I hadn't drank underage. I could hardly say anything to her on that matter. "Where's your escort? Michael was his name?"

She shrugged nonchalantly. "He's a bore. I only agreed to come with him so that I wouldn't have to stay with my parents the entire time. Mike was easy enough to dump, anyway, once I was ready."

"That's quite an interesting plan." I was enjoying talking to Cynthia. She had quite an ingenious mind. She was obviously fiercely independent, outgoing, and mischievous, with a sharp tongue. I wondered what side of her family she got it all from. Her father hadn't struck me as someone who would pass along some of those abilities. I hadn't spent much time around her mother. Maybe that was where she got it from.

"I learned from the best." She took a sip of her cocktail and grinned. "My older sister, Alice, used to do the same thing all the time so that she could run off with her real boyfriend. That's Alice over there, the dark haired one."

She pointed down toward the end of the bar where the women I had been watching earlier still stood. Now that she had pointed it out, I could see the resemblance between them. They had the same small delicate features and midnight blue eyes. Cynthia was taller, her hair longer and a lighter brown color. Alice was tiny, and although she was several inches shorter, seemed to be the older of the two. She had a more mature look. Her facial features were sharper and more defined than Cynthia's, who's were rounder.

"That's Rosalie Hale standing with her," Cynthia informed me. "They're both Princess Bella's Ladies in Waiting. They've been friends since they were babies. All three of them went to university in Bern. They've only been back in Edelweiss for a couple weeks."

"What do you mean 'they've only been back for a couple weeks?'" I asked. Something about the way she had said that set my teeth on edge. It was like she was sharing a dirty little secret. Part of me was intrigued, I wanted to know everything I could about Bella, but the other part of me was disgusted that I was stooping so low as to listen to unlikely rumors. I had always thought I was better than that.

Cynthia giggled before answering, "Don't worry, they're just untrue rumors spread by the jealous. Supposedly, the Princess had an affair with a down on his luck musician. When she discovered than she was pregnant, she came back home in disgrace. Like I said, it's all just a lie. She's not pregnant. She's really very nice. I used to spend time with her a lot when I was with my sister. She would like you."

I couldn't help the grin that spread across my face. I tried to hide it by taking a drink from my glass, but it seemed I couldn't hide from Cynthia. She laughed and told me, "Yeah, I thought you liked what you saw. Trust me, she would like you. Take a chance."

"What are you, my fairy god-mother?" I snarked. I thought it was cute that she was trying to set up her sister's best friend. I smirked into my glass and tried to keep from laughing. Cynthia looked a little affronted as I laughed at her, but I could tell from the sparkle in her eyes that she was having fun. I liked Cynthia. She was obviously the younger sibling, as she liked to be the center of attention. She was sweet, looking out for those she cared about. She was open and honest, things that I respected.

"Just remember what I said." She drained her glass and turned to face me. "Princess Bella is shy and uneasy, but committed and honest. Take it easy on her, okay? She's not going to open up to you immediately. Just take your time. Like I said, she'll like you."

Cynthia turned and left, disappearing back into the crowd. I turned to look back at Alice and Rosalie, who were still at the end of the bar. They both looked much calmer than they had earlier. They were no longer looking into the crowd worriedly, but instead were talking with their heads together. I wondered if they had seen Cynthia and I talking. There was no reason why we couldn't share a drink, but I also knew that Alice was her older sister, and I had learned from Emmett that older siblings were very protective. However, Alice didn't seem to be looking this way at all. I breathed a sigh of relief, the less drama right now the better.

Speaking of Emmett, where was he? I hadn't seen him since I had left Lord Brandon. I had expected him to find me over the course of the evening to tell me about the hot women he danced with, or had a drink with, or whatever. The fact that he had not come to find me had me worried. God knows what kind of trouble he had gotten himself into.

I was going to go find him, but I found myself settling back in at the bar. I was afraid that if I got up from here I would find more than just my best friend. I was afraid I would run into a princess with mahogany hair and deep mysterious eyes. Very few people ever managed to unnerve me. I could see through their public masks far too easily. People were predictable; they either want power, or money, or both. There were only a few exceptions to the rule. My parents, for instance, were both truly compassionate, they wanted whatever was best for people in general and for their son, me. I could tell just by the way they acted. They smiled openly and they cared for those around them. Most people weren't like that. They measured people for what use they could get out of them and then treated them according to that use. Perhaps I was just a cynic, but from what I've seen it was true.

Bella, however, scared me to death because I couldn't tell what she was. She wore a perfect mask to the public so that I couldn't see what she was thinking or feeling. Her fathomless brown eyes were beautiful, but I couldn't read them. I couldn't see the emotions in them that were so evident on other people's faces. It unnerved me. I couldn't handle not knowing what was going on in her mind. I always knew what people were thinking. It drove me nuts that I couldn't understand her, but it also drove my curiosity. The person I most wanted to understand, I couldn't. I wanted to know what she thought about the world around her. The environment in which she had been raised had to have affected how the world was colored in her eyes. I wanted to know what it looked like to her. If ever I could pick one mind to read like a book, it would be hers, and that was dangerous.

I looked down at the end of bar out of the corner of my eye. Alice and Rosalie were still there. Cynthia had said that Bella was their best friend, perhaps they were waiting on her. _They were her Ladies in Waiting, it would make sense_. I ordered another drink and decided to see if Bella showed up to join her friends. If she did I would go over there and start a conversation. She had made me promise her a dance. Maybe I could drag her away for one.

Feeling like a deranged stalker, I turned to my drink while I continued to keep an eye out for a flash of deep blue and silver. I don't know how long I had been standing there before a woman came and stood next to me. She was tall, almost as tall as I was, with hair that fell to the small of her back in lose curls. Her black sleeveless dress was tight, showing every curve to perfection. The dress stopped well above her knees and showed off her long shapely legs. It was her hair color that caught my eye. It was a bright strawberry blond, which along with the way she dressed and acted, reminded me of a certain voluptuous red head I had been engaged to that I did not want to think about at the moment. I was immediately uneasy standing next to this woman and did my best to ignore her. It seemed as though she wasn't going to let me ignore her. I shouldn't have been surprised.

"I'm sorry, I didn't ask if this spot was taken," she said, her voice thick and husky. She was purposely trying to make it alluring. I just found it aggravating. "I hope I'm not intruding."

I shook my head. "No, you're fine."

She took a sip of the cocktail the bartender had just brought her. She stretched her neck and plumped her already pouty lips, trying to draw my attention. She was reminding me more and more of Victoria the longer she stood there. I felt all my defenses go up as I started looking for a way out. I didn't want to be here. I came here to get away from Vicky, and now I found myself standing next to what could be her lighter haired twin.

"I'm Tanya," she said, staring at me with an undisguised hungry look. "I don't think I recognize you, though."

I pressed my lips together in order to keep from saying something I would end up regretting. I had a feeling from the way she was dressed that she, or her family, was not someone I wanted to piss off. Taking a deep breath through my nose, I said, "I'm Edward."

Tanya smiled, though it looked more like a leer to me. "It's nice to meet you, Edward. I hope you don't mind me saying, but you're not what one normally finds around here. Most everyone here is stuffy and strict. They don't know how to have fun."

I stifled a groan. I knew every trick she was trying to use on me. She was lumping herself in with the smaller group, the fun group, and then placing me in the same group even though she didn't know me from Adam. Her tone told me as well that she wasn't going to take no for an answer. It was the exact same thing Victoria had done to get me wrapped around her finger. I wasn't going to fall for that again. I was no longer stupidly naïve. I knew better than to fall for the first gorgeous woman who came my way. I stayed silent and hoped that Tanya would take a hint. Of course she didn't.

She giggled and leaned in closer to me, ignoring the way my body stiffened as she did so. "Aw, don't be like that. I won't bite, I promise. I just want to have a good time, and I think you would enjoy one too. We would be great together, don't you think?"

I was uncomfortable; my body was so tense that I was sure one touch and I would spring like a tightly pulled bow. I quickly finished my drink and pulled away from the bar, intending to walk away from Tanya as politely as I could. "I'm sorry," I told her, looking her in the eye so that she would know I meant what I said and that I was not just playing hard to get. "But I need to find a friend of mine. It was a pleasure to meet you."

I saw the irritation flash through her eyes as I turned to leave. I knew it wouldn't be easy to get away, and I sent up a silent prayer to whoever might be listening that I could evade her quickly and painlessly. I didn't want to be here any longer than absolutely necessary. Tanya reached over for a pen that was lying on the other side of the bar top. She quickly jolted something on the napkin that had been under her glass. She folded it in half and held it up to me. "If you ever get lonely." She grinned coyly.

I reached for the slip, intending to dispose of it as soon as I could, when she opened her fingers and let the napkin fall to the floor next to her high heeled shoe. I knew she had done it on purpose, and part of me wanted to call her on it, but I knew it wouldn't do any good. "Oops," she said, faking innocence.

I woodenly bent down to pick it up, keeping my eyes on the floor and not on her long creamy legs or the view I could get if I looked up. I had to admit that two years ago I would have looked. I'd learned a lot since then. It was nice to know, actually. I stood back up and slid the napkin into my pocket without looking at Tanya. I was hoping I could just get away sooner if I acted like she didn't even exist.

Of course someone like Tanya wasn't going to let me get away that fast. She pouted her plump lips as she studied me with her hard, ice blue eyes. A flash of inspiration lit them up for just a moment before she hid it and smiled seductively. I felt my stomach drop like a lead weight. Whatever she had just planned did not bode well for me.

"Hopefully, I'll hear from you soon." She winked and made to move away from the bar. With an exaggerated movement, she stepped on the stiletto heels awkwardly. She had purposely lost her balance. If I didn't grab her she would fall. _Oh, just let her. _But _I_ couldn't just allow her to fall; she might get hurt. I reached out quickly and grabbed her shoulders, pulling her toward me so that she was pressed against my chest. Every muscle in my body tensed as she wrapped her arms around my waist. As soon as I was sure she was steady, I swiftly disentangled myself from her. She pouted, but I wasn't about to give her another chance. I muttered a quick good-bye and disappeared into the crowd, hoping that she wouldn't be able to find me.

I weaved through the crowd as fast as I could. I did not want to run into Tanya again. It took me several minutes before I realized that in my haste to get away, I had forgotten to look at the end of the bar to see if Bella had joined her friends. I thought my night couldn't get any worse, and low and behold, it did. I had been accosted by my ex-fiancés' virtual twin while trying to find the woman who had really captured my attention.

I found an empty corner and did my best to blend in with the walls. I was not in the mood to deal with anyone else today. I thought about just leaving; it wasn't like anyone was going to miss me. I was just wasting my time by continuing to stand here. Maybe tomorrow would be better. Still, something kept me rooted there. I simply watched the groups wandering through the room and tried to bring my emotions back under control. My little run in with Tanya had surfaced more feeling than I had liked. Victoria and I had broken up six months ago when I found her cheating and Tanya had reminded me too much of her.

I let out a tight breath and leaned my head against the wall, resisting the urge to hit back hard enough to hurt. Victoria was back in New York, and I was much smarter now. I knew better than to think that a woman like that had much to offer me. They were shallow and petty, and I was not falling for that again. I knew better.

I felt better after standing there and taking a few deep breaths. I started scanning the crowd again, looking for two people in particular; Emmett, because I hadn't seen him in a while and who knows what kind of trouble he had gotten into, and Princess Bella, because my gaining curiosity seemed only to have increased after my encounter with Tanya. Bella struck me as someone who wouldn't appreciate Tanya's tricks. I knew I probably should just leave the Princess alone and forget we ever had a moment. I was already too infatuated with her as it was, and to go any farther would be playing with fire. I also knew I wouldn't follow my own advice. I needed to know what made her the person she was. It looked like I wasn't as smart as I thought.

While I didn't find her, Emmett was kind of hard to miss. He was a bulky 6'4" monster and at least a head taller than anyone in the room. His hair was still poufy, but not to the same portion it was earlier when we left our rooms. I was surprised to find that he looked a little rumpled. His suit was creased in a hundred places and his hair was sticking out in every direction possible. It looked like mine, oddly enough. He spotted me over the heads of the people between us. His baby blue eyes sparked with intuition, and he started making his way over to me. I didn't leave my corner and kept looking for the Princess.

Emmett finally managed to make it over to me. He was grinning, but he looked a little uncertain underneath the bravado he was exuding. He glanced at me for only moment before turning back to the crowd. "You haven't seen a super-hot blond in a red dress have you?"

I glared at him out of the corner of my eye. Of course he would find a hot woman in this crowd. I swallowed my mean retort and merely shook my head. I saw him deflate a little as he slumped against the wall. I felt a brief pang of sympathy for him. It wasn't often that someone got away from him. So long as he didn't get in trouble I didn't care. I had my own worries.

"What's wrong with you?" Emmett looked over at me. He must have noticed my tense muscles and hard glare. He wasn't usually this observant. Of all the days for him to try, he had to pick today. I simply shrugged indifferently in response. I didn't want to talk about my awful night.

Emmett studied me speculatively, abandoning his search for the blond. "Come on, Edward." The use of my name, and not that god-awful nickname, told me that he meant business and would not leave me alone till he had the answer. "I'm your best friend. You can tell me what's going on. Did you meet a girl?"

"Several." I rolled my eyes. _Might as well get this over with_. "I met a woman who, I swear, was Victoria's twin, and I'm infatuated with the Princess."

Emmett was silent for just a moment before he erupted into loud gales of laughter. He doubled over, clutching his stomach as he laughed. Several people near by were giving us odd looks as Emmett continued to make a spectacle of himself. "Emmett, would you stop it? What is so damn funny?"

"You…" he wheezed, gasping as he tried to stop laughing, "… tell me, to be careful, about who I go after, and you're infatuated with the Princess." He doubled over again. I didn't see what was so funny. It was ironic maybe, but not funny.

"You're being an idiot," I snapped, irritated. I knew better than to say anything to him.

He finally managed to stop laughing and calm down. His face was red as he gasped for breath. "Go on, tell me what happened."

I didn't tell him everything. I didn't tell him how I was curious about her because I couldn't read her. That was something that only I would understand. I did tell him what she looked like, and the sound of her voice, and how she held herself with a fragile confidence. I wanted to protect her and that was ridiculous. How could I, a simple pianist, protect her? She probably had a whole group of guards that did that for a living. It didn't change the fact that that was what I wanted. I didn't understand any of this. I had never had any of these feelings before, this urge to protect and understand, especially with someone I had only just met.

I didn't realize how long we had been talking when I noticed that Emmett was smirking. _Oh God, what had I been saying? _"You like her."

"No, I don't," I said, defensively. I realize though that as I had been blabbering about her like a teenager with his first crush, that that ship had sailed. "Well, I do, but I shouldn't, and it doesn't matter."

Emmett snorted as he stared at me like I was crazy. "Come on, Eddie, it's the twenty-first century, not the fourteen hundreds. If you like her, go after her. It can't hurt to try anyway. It doesn't have to be anything serious."

"This isn't New York, Emmett," I told him. I was processing his words. He was right, this wasn't the dark ages, most people no longer thought that just because they were born in a certain family or with money that they were better than everyone else. There was no reason that something couldn't develop between us. It wasn't like I was homeless or anything, either. In this one thing Emmett was right, I was over thinking this.

He must have seen something change in my face, because he started cackling. "That's it, Eddie. Go get her. I must say, I've missed this side of you. Welcome back. Now, who is this twin of she-who-must-not-be-named-by-me so that I can tell her to leave you alone or face my wrath?"

I rolled my eyes at him. "You can name Victoria, Emmett. You just took me by surprise earlier, that's all. And you don't have to do anything. I can take care of it. I did take care of it."

He sighed. "At least tell me what she looks like so I can have your back when she tries again. You know she will. I just wanna make sure you don't fall for another whore, pardon my language."

I smiled, glad to have my best friend and partner in crime with me on this wild ride. "Thanks, Emmett, I appreciate it." I went on to describe Tanya to him in detail. He nodded and slapped my back with enough force to make my knees buckle. He had been drinking far too much tonight.

"Gotcha, she's a strawberry blond hottie with no sense of modesty. I will keep my eyes out." He grinned and moved away from the wall. "Now, I have a blond in a red dress to find. I think I made her mad or something. Don't worry, I'm gonna fix it. You go find that pretty brunette princess before you manage to talk yourself out of it. I'll catch up with you in a little while."

I nodded as he began to walk away. It may not have been the smartest decision, but I was going to take a chance and see where this went. It could be awful or it could be one of the best things to ever happen to me. I would just have to follow it to find out. Thinking of Bella also gave me an idea for Emmett.

"Emmett!" I called over the noise of the crowd. He turned back around to face me, confusion written across his face. "There was a blond woman in a red dress at the end of the bar when I was there. She works with Princess Bella. Her name is Rosalie."

He grinned widely, showing his teeth. "Thanks, Edward," he called before disappearing into the crowd. I smiled at his retreating back. Just for once I would turn my back on him and whatever he ended up doing with this woman. I had my own woman to find.

I stood there for several minutes trying to find Bella. You wouldn't think it would be so hard to find a princess, but I couldn't find that flash of deep blue and silver or the mahogany hair that I had been looking for all night. It seemed odd to me that I couldn't see the Princess in the middle of the party. That's where I thought she would be, but she was nowhere. I looked at the couples dancing on the dancing floor. Maybe she was dancing with her partner from earlier, the tall dark haired one in the red uniform. Maybe I was already too late, maybe she already had someone in her life to dance with. I didn't understand the sudden pang of remorse that twisted my insides into knots. I had no reason to be feeling that way. I had no hold over her, no claim. To her, I was just someone she met in passing, a fleeting nobody.

I shook my head and refocused on what I was doing. I didn't see Bella and the black haired man out there on the dance floor now, so I would assume that I still had a chance. A chance for what, I didn't know, but I was going to try for it anyway. Scanning the crowd again, I looked for the mysterious woman that had captured my attention. Again, I couldn't find her.

I sighed and leaned against the wall. She would have to show up at some point. Good things come to those who wait. Fortunately, I didn't have to wait very long. I finally found Bella and her tiny black haired friend, Alice, moving along the opposite wall. Their eyes roved across the floor, obviously looking for their own someone. I wondered who it was. When they finally came to a stop along the wall, I started moving toward them. Alice appeared to be talking to Bella. Bella was trying to make it look like she was listening, and she was doing a good job, but I could tell her mind was elsewhere. She was chewing on her bottom lip as her wide, fathomless brown eyes looked through the crowd. She was looking for something. A shiver of excitement swept through me, hoping it was me she was looking for.

I edged along the wall, trying to get to her without drawing too much attention. When I was about half way there, I saw her send Alice away. I watched the black-haired pixie drag a tall man in a white uniform on to the dance floor. That act left Bella alone by the wall. I picked up my pace hoping to get there before any other suitors could. I leaned against the wall next to her. She seemed not to notice me, her worried gaze still looked out on the crowd. I was going to have to get her attention without startling her. Well, the truth is always a good start. "You're a surprisingly hard woman to find, Your Majesty," I said softly, only just loudly enough for her to hear me.

Her head whipped around to face me at the sound of my voice. Her whole face broke out in a grin as she saw me. I couldn't help but grin back as she looked so very excited. Seeing her happy made me happy. That worried me, but I was already too far gone to care.

"I'm only hard for you to find," she teased, the humor evident in her eyes. "Most people find me far too easily."

"Well, then that's hardly fair. I've been looking for you for quite a while, My Lady."

"That's not my fault, Mr. Cullen. Please do me a favor and call me Bella. I hate official terms." Her nose wrinkled up in disgust. I resisted the urge to laugh at her adorable expression. I added this to the list of things that I knew about Bella. She didn't like to be reminded of her station in life. She just wanted to be normal.

"Only if you call me Edward."

A light blush tinted her cheeks, painting them a rosy color as she said softly, "Edward."

"Bella." A thrill went through me as her name left my lips. Bella meant beautiful in Italian and it fit her perfectly. "I do believe you made me promise you a dance."

"I did." She stared at me with those deep chocolate pools that I could so easily get lost in.

I pushed away from the wall and stood in front of her. Bowing deeply and holding out my hand, I asked, "May I have this dance?"

"Can you dance?" she asked suspiciously, a mischievous twinkle lightening her eyes. "I've found that most Americans have trouble with ballroom dancing. They have no grace."

I laughed, which intensified the blush on her cheeks. They were now a deep crimson. "I promise I'm a very good dancer. My mother would have it no other way."

"Very well then, I will dance with you." She slipped her small hand into my out stretched one. I marveled at the soft smoothness of it and how it seemed to fit perfectly in my much larger one. I was spell bound for a moment and yearned to ask her if she was as floored by it as I was. It was as if I had been shocked by electricity when our fingers first met. I stood dumfounded for a moment, before regaining my senses and pulling her toward the dance floor.

Wordlessly, I swept her into my arms and showed her just how good a dancer I was. Not that I cared, by the time I circled my arm around her slim waist and pulled her against me - the roof could have fallen in on us and I wouldn't have noticed. As we began spinning across the floor, the world around us disappeared. My sight narrowed down to the woman in my arms. Her arm wound around my waist as her full lips turned up in a smirk. "What's so funny?"

"Not funny so much as amusing," she said, a light accent I couldn't place coloring her voice. "You are a pretty good dancer."

"Thank you." I smirked. "I'll be sure to tell Mom that you said so."

"Tell me about her?" she asked. When she looked up at me with those big doe eyes I couldn't tell her no.

"She is the most generous person I think that I have ever met. With my father's inheritance, she doesn't have to work, so she could have just stayed at home and done nothing. Instead she works for several charities and raised me."

"She sounds wonderful. What's her name?" Bella asked.

"Esme," I told her. "My father is Carlisle. He's a doctor. They adopted me when I was three. They're the only family I have. Well, except for Emmett."

She giggled when I mentioned Emmett. That wasn't a good sign. "I met Emmett for just a moment. I think he and a friend of mine, Rosalie, may be having a thing before too long."

"Ah." I was pleased that was all she had said about him. I just couldn't trust Emmett not to say something stupid. "That's who he was talking about."

She shrugged, that maddening mischievous glint coming back to her unreadable eyes. "He told me that you did a lot of talking."

I sucked in a deep breath. _What had he done?_ "What did he say?" I asked uncertainly.

"He only said that you 'wouldn't shut up' about me." Her grin was positively evil as it was my turn to blush like a beet. She laughed as we continued to twirl across the dance floor.

"It's nice not to be the one blushing for once." She laughed.

"Yeah, yeah, laugh it up," I muttered darkly. I considered tripping her on purpose, but I didn't want her to get hurt.

"Don't worry." She leaned up on the tip of her toes to whisper into my ear, "I liked it."

I grinned, my heart beating so fast and hard I was sure she could feel it through my chest. It seemed I wasn't the only one who was infatuated.

I had been in the spotlight long enough. It was time to turn the tide. "Enough about me," I told her. "Tell me about your parents, Queen Renee and King Phillip."

"Phil is not my father." I was surprised by the vehemence in her voice. Her brown eyes flashed with irritation and her cheeks turned red with anger. I didn't realize I was pushing a sore button.

"I'm sorry, I didn't mean to pry."

She sighed and the color left her cheeks and the flash faded from her eyes. "No, I'm sorry; I didn't mean to snap at you. It's just a sore subject."

"It's alright." I didn't like the absolute dejection that entered her voice. She shouldn't have to be that sad about something. It also sparked my curiosity about her as well. I wanted to know what had upset her about what I said. "You don't have to answer me. It's okay."

"No, I don't mind." She gave me a weak smile, and I was nearly broken by the unshed tears that filled her eyes. "I just didn't know that it still affected me so strongly. Phil is just my step-father, nothing more. He married my mom five years ago. My father died when I was fourteen. He was the Chief of Police in a little town in Washington State."

"He was American?" I asked, surprised.

She nodded and explained that her parents had met here, in Edelweiss. Her father, Charlie, was the son of an American diplomat. He came here with his father, met a then Princess Renee, and they fell in love. Knowing that they couldn't really be together here, they ran away to America. Charlie got a job as a police officer, and they got married. Six months later Renee was pregnant. By that point reality had already set in. Two months after Bella was born, Renee returned to Edelweiss, leaving Charlie alone in Washington. Bella had gone back for two weeks every summer. She said it made her feel normal. He had died of a work accident when she was fourteen.

Bella spoke adoringly of her father; she obviously missed him very much. His death seemed to have affected her greatly. She was much more ambivalent about Renee. She loved her mother, I could tell, but there wasn't a very close mother-daughter bond there. When she came to Phil she was stiff and cold. She didn't like him, but she didn't say why. I hadn't been crazy about him yesterday either. Perhaps our reservations were the same.

Eventually the conversation turned back to me and I told her about New York. The night continued on like this, each of us taking turns sharing about our homes, growing up, and college. We shared embarrassments and victories and childhood hiding places. I don't know how long we danced, the world could have fallen apart around us and we would never have known it. It felt natural to have her here in my arms and listen to her sweet laugh. I never wanted the moment to end.

We continued dancing the night away as we began to get to know one another and what had brought us here to this singular moment in time. The night flew away in a blur of bright lights and Bella's deep brown eyes. When it finally came time to part from her, I didn't know what to say.

"Thank you for the wonderful evening, Edward." Bella smiled.

"The pleasure is all mine."

She nodded and bit her bottom lip in an adorable look of awkwardness. Her eyes trailed, looking anywhere but at me. "Um, how long will you be with us?"

"Two years." I wasn't sure why she asking. Perhaps she wanted to see me again as much I wanted to see her?

She smiled broadly, and I suspected that I had the suspicion right. She stepped away from me and I immediately felt the loss of her in my arms. "Good night, Edward," she called as she walked away from me. "I'll see you around."

I stared after her in silence, wanting nothing more to see her again and dreading it at the same time. I had been down this road once before, not with a princess although Victoria certainly acted like one. There was no denying I was out of Bella's league and there was no way this could end well. Still, that simple fact wasn't enough to stop me. I was hopeless, and more than willing to follow where ever she went.

AN.

Yay! Aren't they just cute? I love them. Anyway, updates should come a little more regularly now, hopefully. If you want updates as to how things are going follow me at twitter EveryDayBella89.

Next we're gonna slow things down and get Bella's opinion everything. Bye Guys!


	9. What About Everything?

**AU: **Again I'm sorry about the wait. RL sucks, enough said.

I own a new piece of Cullen Crest jewelry. However I don't own Twilight. I only get to play with the characters briefly before they have to go back into the box. State of Delusion, Batgirl8968, and onlybythenight1 are amazing. Without them you wouldn't even have this chapter. Okay I will see you at the bottom.

* * *

**What ****About Everything?**

_In search of some rest, in search of a break,_

_From a life of tests where everything's always at stake,_

_Where something's always so far._

_What about my broken car?_

_What about my life so far?_

_What about my dream?_

_What about?_

_-Carbon Leaf_

**BPOV**

The light was bright as I groggily opened my eyes. It had been three o'clock in the morning. when I had finally fallen into bed last night. The fact that it was now bright in my room, even with the thick curtains pulled shut, told me that I had overslept. It didn't really matter, nothing happened around the Palace the day after a ball.

I stretched and rolled over on to my back. I grinned as I remembered what had happened last night. Edward had found me after I sent Alice back to Jasper. My worries about how he felt about Tanya had melted away as we began talking. His eyes had never left mine as I let him pull me toward the dance floor. He had even been able to handle my teasing about his dancing.

As soon as he had wrapped his arm around my waist I had been a goner. His clear, deep, emerald eyes were so close that I had to look somewhere else to keep from becoming completely lost and forgetting where I was or what I said. It hadn't really helped; I was so caught up in him and our conversation that I hadn't even noticed the room slowly emptying around us.

We had danced and talked about everything and anyone. He had told me about his home and his parents, and then he had asked me about my life. The only hard part was when Edward had called Phil my father. I hadn't expected the sharp stab of pain I had felt at those words. I didn't even know why I had felt that way; I knew what he had meant. Unless he had been told, he wouldn't have known that Phil was my step-father. I had been embarrassed when I had had to fight tears, but Edward was so good about it. He had reassured me and told me that I didn't have to tell him what had sparked the wave of tears. I had felt myself relax at his soft, velvety voice. I had proceeded to tell him about Charlie, Renee, and Phil. In fact, I told him much more about the whole affair than I had ever told anyone. I had just felt safe there, twirling across the dance floor in his arms.

We had stayed that way for hours, telling each other about our lives and just generally getting to know each other. The world had fallen away from us as we continued our never-ending dance. In that seemly short amount of time, I fell for his deep rumbling laugh, his crooked smile, and those odd beryl eyes that I knew he hid so much behind. It was so nice because Edward seemed to forget that I was a princess and he was just a "simple" musician. I had never felt so connected with someone. I often felt out of step with people, even with those that I had known my whole life, like Alice or Rosalie. With Edward, I was able to keep up and felt like an equal as we waltzed across the floor.

Inevitably we both fell silent, our words coming to a halt. We didn't pull apart from each other. The silence wasn't awkward or hard, it just was. I had a feeling that we both preferred the silence anyway. I know I did, and Edward struck me as someone who valued that as well. I had leaned my head against his shoulder without realizing it. It must not have bothered him, because he didn't say anything about it. If anything, his arm that was wrapped around my waist pulled me in tighter.

At some point, the outside world crept back into our private bubble. By the time we came to a halt, the crowd around us had thinned dramatically. There were gaps in the crowd, and it was much quieter than it had been the last I had bothered to pay attention. I couldn't see Alice, Rosalie, Jasper, or Edward's big friend, Emmett. I had lost complete track of time - it had to be past midnight. I took a small step away from him and let out a yawn. He had smiled in amusement, but I had seen his eyelids dropping. We were both tired, but unwilling for the night to end.

"I guess I'll see you around then?" Edward asked awkwardly. I suppressed a giggle. Dancing with me for hours on end was easy it seemed, easier than asking for confirmation if he would be able to see me again after tonight. I suppose it made sense; he didn't know how proper etiquette worked when you danced with the princess. Come to think of it, I wasn't sure what was demanded either. Screw it, I wanted to follow this thing, feeling, whatever it was.

"I truly hope so," I told him. That wonderfully crooked smile had lit up his face again. I was rather quickly falling for it, and I didn't mind in the least.

"Good night then, My Lady." His eyes flashed with just a hint of mischievousness. For once I didn't mind being called "My Lady," because from his lips it sounded like a symphony. He took my hand, and I marveled at the feeling of his long fingers wrapping around my smaller ones. He pressed a slow kiss to the back of my hand before smirking and turning away from me. I watched his retreating form until he disappeared from my sight.

I had come back to my room, climbed into bed, and replayed the night in my mind's eye a dozen times before I was sucked under by sleep.

I now grinned up at the dark wood canopy of my bed. The ball had gone much better than I thought it would. With the exception of those few tense moments with Jacob, and when I saw Tanya with Edward, the night had been like a fairytale.

"'Oh, blessed, blessed night," I muttered to myself. "I am afraid, being but the night, that this is all but a dream, too flattering sweet to be substantial.'" I giggled. Great, I was quoting Romeo and Juliet. Could I get any sappier?

I sighed and sat up. I was awake now so I might as well getting out bed. Alice and Rosalie were off today, but that didn't mean they wouldn't show up just to have fun later. I glanced over at the clock on the wall to discover that it was one o'clock in the afternoon. I really had slept a long time.

I hopped out of bed and crossed to the panoramic window. Pulling the curtain back I was met with a beautiful sight - the entire valley was covered in a thick layer of fluffy white snow. I had known that it was supposed to snow last night, but I didn't think it would be this much so soon. I was stuck by the sudden urge to go out and play in it. I would be tired of the endless snow by the time Christmas got here, but for now the novelty, and my good mood from last night, would be enough for me to overlook my general dislike of wet slushy stuff.

I quickly changed from the flannel pajamas I wore last night into a nice pair of jeans and a thick long sleeved shirt. It was cold in my room, and I have never been very good at starting the fire in the fireplace. I would have to get someone to start it while I was away. I ran a brush through my sleep matted hair and didn't bother with make-up. Nothing happened around the Palace the day after a ball, which meant I could get away with just casual wear. I grinned as I pulled on a pair of brown, flat-heeled boots. I might as well enjoy it while it lasted.

Without bothering to glance in the mirror, I left my bedroom for the sitting room. It was a little warmer out here as someone had bothered to start a fire. There was only one person in the room. Short and lanky with dark hair, Alec was a member of my security staff, as his dark green uniform showed. Normally he was alert and rather severe, today his eyes where dull and flat. I was surprised to see him; he had been on duty last night. I remembered then that Jasper had been mad at him for being so far away from me that he hadn't seen Jacob grab me.

"Why are you still here, Alec?" I asked. I was sure I knew, but I wanted to confirm it. Alec looked exhausted, and I was thinking about calling Jasper and making him get someone else. Alec wouldn't be much good like this anyway.

"It's punishment for leaving you alone for so long last night, Your Majesty," he said. He blinked slowly as he shook his head, his lank hair falling into his eyes. "I am sorry about that, Your Highness."

I waved him off, completely unconcerned. It didn't bother me in the least; I could take care of myself. In all honesty, I had forgotten about the incident in the wake of the events that came after. Mostly the green-eyed god I had danced with all night.

"My Lady," Alec's high, squeaky voice broke through my musings. "Queen Renee asked me to inform you that she would like to see you when you awoke."

I groaned. I wasn't supposed to have to deal with anything the day after the ball. However, there were only two weeks left until Halloween and the holiday season wasn't too far behind that. Renee probably wanted to start planning all the parties and wanted my help. Maybe she wouldn't take too long. Hopefully I could still make it outside before it got dark.

"Do you know where she is?"

"She said she would be in her private salon, My Lady."

I sighed. "Let's go then."

I marched out the door, Alec following exactly three steps behind. He wasn't going to incur the wrath of Jasper again if he could help it. I couldn't blame him. I hadn't seen Jasper angry often, but it wasn't something I wanted to see again, and I wasn't even the person he was mad at.

Speaking of Jasper, I wondered where they were. Jasper and Alice were most likely together. They usually spent any days they had off together because they didn't get much time with just the two of them otherwise. Alice had also talked about spending time with her sister, Cynthia, as well. I wasn't sure what she had finally decided on.

Alec was silent as we made our way down the hallways that lead to my mother's private meeting room. There weren't many people in the hallways and the ones I did see stood over to the side and bowed as I passed. Renee's rooms were three hallways away from mine. Fortunately, it didn't take long to get there.

Halfway down the third hallway, I came to a stop in front of a solid wood door. The simple gold plate on it proclaimed, _Queen Renee Dwyer. _I knocked twice before opening the door just enough so that I could stick my head through. I caught sight of Renee sitting behind the large mahogany desk against the right wall. The modest sized room, decorated in bright shades of yellow and blue, was dominated by this desk and the seating arrangement of several large sofas. While there were no windows in this room, the colours and lightning kept the room bright, and I noticed several other people in the room, most of them belonging to my mother's planning staff or her security staff.

Renee looked up from where she was sitting and saw me standing in the doorway. "Bella!" she exclaimed joyfully. "Come in, sweetheart." I studied her face as I walked in. Her clear, baby blue eyes were untroubled, and she looked as carefree and joyful as always, but there was tension as well. There were new lines in her face, and I didn't know if they were worry lines or laugh lines. All told, she appeared to be rather happy today. At least Phil wasn't around and that was enough to make me smile as I entered the room.

"Good afternoon, Mom." I went over to her and kissed her cheek just like I always did. She smiled and got up from her desk. Wrapping her arm around my waist, she guided me toward the seating arrangement. There were two other women sitting there as well. One was petite with long, black hair and caramel skin. The other was also small, though she looked more delicate. Her hair was a honey brown color and just as long.

"Hello Carmen, Lady Brandon." Carmen and her husband both worked for Renee, he as one of her attendants and she as the head of the Palace Planning Committee. Lady Brandon used to be Renee's Lady of Honor, but she had stepped down when Alice was born. Now she just worked on whatever projects that Renee needed done. I didn't quite know why they were here, or why I was here for that matter.

Renee and I sat on the couch across from Carmen and Abigail. I gathered rather quickly what they wanted me for. They were working on planning the holidays and wanted to know where I was planning on spending Christmas.

"To be honest, I haven't given it much thought," I told them. I had a wide range of options. Almost any high-ranking family would be willing to let me spend the Christmas holidays with them. I used to spend them with Alice or Rosalie, more often with Alice. The Royal Family also owned several town houses that I could go to. The one thing that I knew I didn't want to do was stay here where Phil would have his nose in everything. I couldn't just come out and say that when I was surrounded by my mother and two of her attendants, however.

Carmen nodded, smiling in understanding. "Yes, I know. I wasn't even thinking about Christmas until your mother called me here this morning."

"We just need to know when to do the Christmas Dinner before everyone goes home," Lady Brandon said. I nodded to show I understood.

"Alice, Rose, and I will look at our options and let you know what we decide," I told them. I hadn't thought about it so that was the most they were going to get.

Carmen nodded. "Of course, Princess. We will need to know within the next two weeks. Now I do believe we have some other business to attend to, Lady Brandon."

Carmen and Lady Brandon both left after promising Renee they would be back later. Renee asked the guards to wait outside, which they did grudgingly. Alec, who had been standing by the door, looked a little worried as he walked out. I would have to reassure him that he wasn't going to get in trouble for this later. I rolled my eyes; I understand now why Jasper didn't really care for Alec.

I pulled my legs up underneath me and turned on my seat to face Renee. There had to be a reason she had cleared the room; she didn't do that often. To be honest, it made me a little nervous. Whatever she wanted to speak to me about must be important.

"I saw you dancing last night." Renee's eyes held a sparkle and her voice was speculative. "You looked like you were having fun."

I rolled my eyes. Of course, she wanted to know about who I was dancing with last night. "I was having fun. It was surprisingly enjoyable."

"Who did you dance with?" she asked, fishing for information. She had, no doubt, recognized Jacob, but she might not have known Edward on sight. She probably wanted to make sure that I wasn't being stupid about the men around here either. She knew as well as I did that most were after the same thing - money and power. I tried to keep from rolling my eyes again. She was the one who had fallen for the charm, not me.

"I danced with Jacob a couple times," I told her. "Most of the time I danced with Edward Cullen."

For a moment, I thought I saw alarm flash across Renee's face, but she quickly covered it up a giggle. "I thought you would like him. He's just your type - tall, good looking, and plays the piano."

I couldn't help but laugh with her. She did have me pegged. I had a thing for musicians; I couldn't help it. "He was really sweet though, Mom. He was polite and completely unassuming. We talked all night. I can't remember the last time I just talked to a guy. And I haven't even heard him play yet."

Renee looked a little worried, but she was doing a good job hiding it. When I had started talking about Edward, she had looked alarmed. She had probably expected me to gush about Jacob, not Edward. I wasn't sure what she was thinking as she eyed me worriedly. "I guess you really enjoyed it then. He was rather sweet when I met him. He was a master at the piano as well."

I sighed as I imagined Edward's long, pale fingers sweeping across the keys of a piano and producing the most beautiful music that could bring even the hardest man in the world to his knees. Edward was amazingly good looking in his tux last night, however it didn't compare to the image him playing the piano. I was fairly certain I was blushing and I ducked my head so that Renee couldn't see my reaction while I muttered, "yeah, I'm sure he is."

"What about Jacob?" she asked. "You said you danced with him as well."

At the sound of Jacob's name my blush faded and the image of Edward I had created in my mind disappeared. In its place came the uncertainty I had been feeling about Jacob for the last week. I didn't know how to explain those feelings to Renee. I had a suspicion that Renee rather liked Jacob and would have liked to see us together. "Um, he was nice enough I guess," I said. "I thought he was a little pushy, but nice."

"Phil likes him a lot," Renee told me tentatively. She knew I wasn't crazy about her husband. She knew I did my best to avoid being around him and I wasn't likely to like someone just because he did. "He says that Jacob graduated from business program at the top of his class."

I shrugged and remained silent. I honestly didn't know how I felt about Jacob. It changed depending on my mood and how he was acting. I also didn't like how Renee had shifted the conversation from Edward to Jacob. Normally she wanted to talk about any man in my life, not just Jacob, in detail. She was a bit of a gossip; she liked to talk about juicy bits of information. I was wondering if someone was baiting Renee, guiding her to push me in a certain direction. It was a very Phil-ish thing to do. Or maybe I was just being paranoid.

Renee seemed to take my silence as a no-comment. She laughed, slightly uneasy, and said, "I'm sorry, Bella. It's just a mother thing. I don't want you to make my mistakes."

I smiled gently to reassure her. I knew she had been worried about me running off like she had. She had always told me that she never regretted having me, but she had drilled it into me to always be smart about whom I got involved with and never run off without thinking it through. As a result the farthest I'd ever run was Bern. "Don't worry, Mom; I'm not going to disappear."

"I know. You always were smarter than I was."

I blushed again, although not as bad as last time. "I guess I've just got more of Dad in me," I told her.

I was surprised by the sad smile that graced her face for a moment. She didn't talk about Charlie very much, but when she did, I had gotten the impression that there was a small part of her that was still in love with him. She never saw him again after she left Forks. He never came back here, and she never went with me when I visited him. I had always thought it was rather sad. I scooted across the couch and curled up against my mother. Renee wrapped her arms around my shoulders and held me.

Our peaceful moment was interrupted when my stomach growled loudly. We both laughed at my body's untimely interruption. In truth, I had been hungry for quite a while. Staying up till three in the morning and not waking up till one in the afternoon will do that to you.

"You better go get something to eat." Renee laughed. "Oh, and it snowed last night! You should go out."

I nodded and stood up. "I was planning on it before Alec told me that you wanted to see me. I'll see you later, Mom."

I made to move toward the door when Renee stopped me. "There was one more thing I wanted to ask you. Phil and I are having dinner with Billy and Jacob in a week. I wanted to know if you would join us?"

I tried not to groan. A dinner party with Phil was on my list of things I'd least like to do. However, I couldn't think of a way out it. This was part of my duties as princess after all. I nodded and told Renee, "I'll be there."

Renee swept me into a hug before I opened the door. Her hold on me was too tight for just a simple goodbye-see-you-later hug. She released me after a moment with a smile, but I could still see the worry hidden behind her eyes. Instantly, more worries about her were brought to the forefront of my mind. I had thought that she was okay and I was just being paranoid. Now I wasn't too sure. "You're okay, right, Mom?" I asked.

"I've never been better, sweetheart." She smiled. "Now, go on and have some fun. I'll see you later."

I smiled and left the room leaving Renee in her office alone. Alec was waiting in the hall, but he looked like he was about to fall asleep standing up. I wasn't sure how much longer he was going to make it. _I better try to find Jasper on the way to the kitchens._ I really didn't think it was good for Alec to be doing this to himself. I may not like him, but I could have sympathy.

I set off down the hallway, Alec trailing behind me. My mind was so cluttered with my conversation with Renee that I didn't really see the hallways around me. Between the upcoming holidays, Phil, and worrying about my mother, my head was stuffed to the brim with uncertainties. I really just wanted a day off. Just a little while to not have to worry about things I couldn't really control anyway. And now I had to attend a dinner with Phil. _Great, just great._

By the time I managed to shake the worrisome thoughts out of my head, I was pushing open the door to the kitchens. Technically what I was entering was more like a foyer, rather than the actual kitchen. It was a simple white room where the kitchen staff would organize everything that needed to be taken to the dining rooms in the rest of the Palace. There was a door on the right wall that led to the actual kitchens. The wall opposite the door had a large cut out with a shelf on it, through which you could see the large gleaming kitchen.

I walked up to the window and stood by the shelf. I glanced through to the kitchen. There were quite a few men and women in white uniforms and hats working at stoves and counters. They all looked pretty busy.

"Ah, Princess," a loud male voice with a thick French accent called. I finally caught sight of Jean Claude, the head chief, coming down one of the aisles of work stations. He was a short, plump man with rosy cheeks and a quick smile. Jean Claude had been working here for two years. I had just met him a month ago, when I came home, and had quickly decided I liked the man. His quick, jovial spirit made him easily likable. "To what do I owe ze pleasure of having ze most beautiful woman in ze palace in my kitchen?" He flirted.

I grinned as I leaned against the shelf opposite him. "Food, what else?"

He laughed. "Ah, but you usually have a servant do that, My Lady."

"I gave everyone the day off." I shrugged. "Could I have dinner delivered to my suite at five thirty? Also, I'm fixing to go outside, and I haven't eaten all day. Could I have a snack?"

Jean Claude's bright eyes sparkled. Nothing caught his attention like food. "I shall have to see what I can find, Mademoiselle. You stay here, I'll be back."

"Thank you, Jean Claude," I called as he turned to go back to the kitchen. My eyes caught sight of the Alec slouching against the wall. "Jean Claude, could I use your phone?"

"Of course, Princess."

I grabbed the hand held phone, that was sitting on the kitchen side of the shelf. Hitting the talk button, the Palace operator asked, "How may I help you?"

I asked her to patch me through to the Brandon's private line and waited a moment before Alice's perky, "Hello?" sounded in my ear.

"Hey Alice, is Jasper with you?"

"Bella!" she squealed. "You're up. I was about to go drag you out of bed. It snowed last night! We can't miss out on that can we? Jasper and I have already been out twice today. Where are you anyway?"

I tried not to laugh as Alice finally stopped to take a breath. Of course, she had completely missed what I had asked for. "I'm going to head out to the gardens in a couple of minutes. Meet me at the back fountain in fifteen minutes. Now, can I talk to Jasper?"

"Oh, sorry," she said. "I'll go find Rose. Here's Jasper."

"My Lady," Jasper's smooth voice came through the phone.

"Jasper, I know you have him on double duty as punishment, but Alec is about to pass out with exhaustion."

I heard Jasper mutter something under his breath before he told me to put Alec on the phone. While the two of them talked, I found my mind caught up not with my mother and Phil, but with the two different men I had danced with last night. One was a lord, the other a humble piano player. Choices, choices, and neither of them seemed to be a bad choice either. Jacob was wealthy and good looking, with a title that complemented my own. He seemed sweet and honest, if a little pompous. There was this whole business with Phil, but maybe that wasn't something to judge him by. My mother had been taken in by him after all, and she wasn't bad.

Then there was Edward - Edward with his odd, messy bronze hair, perfect face, and those sharp green eyes. He didn't have a title, or high-ranking family, and yet, even in this world where those things were everything, he walked with a sense of confidence. He knew who he was and wasn't going to let someone else tell him otherwise. I liked that. I liked that he was self-confident and didn't need other people to tell him how great he was. He was honest, straight forward - and knew how to dance. I had never felt so connected to someone in such a short amount of time, maybe ever. I had to admit, I could see myself falling for Edward. Maybe I already had. I did seem to be thinking about him a lot. But was that a good thing? We were both from different worlds - I, a princess with all the duties and responsibilities that came with that title, and he, a piano player who would be gone in a couple years. And yet, the thought of not seeing him ever again sent a shot of pain straight through to my heart. _Oh, I am in so much trouble_, I thought as I resisted the urge to bang my head against the marble wall behind me. _It just couldn't be easy, could it?_

Alec was handing the phone back to me so I put it up to my ear and said, "Jasper?"

"Alec is going off duty and I will pick up the rest of his shift. We will meet you outside at the fountain like Alice had already planned."

"Thanks, Jasper." I waved my hand, dismissing Alec, who stumbled out of the room.

Jasper must have heard something in my voice because he asked, worriedly, "Is everything alright, Bella?"

I sighed. "It's nothing a little time outside won't cure. I'll meet you out there. Oh, and have Alice bring me a coat please." The sweater I was wearing would be all right for a little while, but not for long.

He said he would and hung up the phone. Fortunately, before my mind could start wandering again, Jean Claude reappeared at the window with two pieces of bread covered in butter and chocolate sprinkles. I grinned.

"That's prefect, Jean Claude. Thank you."

"Anyzing for you, Princess." He grinned. "I'll will send your dinner soon."

I thanked him again and set out for the gardens, which weren't too far away, munching on my snack. The view from the windows revealed that everything was covered in fine, powdery dust, like powdered sugar. It gleamed slightly in the weak sunlight. I couldn't help but smile as I opened the French doors and took my first step out onto the snow. There was just something about the first snow that was better that any other. Maybe it was purer somehow. Whatever it was, you couldn't be unhappy when you were out in it. I smiled softly and set out into my winter wonderland.

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**AN: **

I know, I know, no Edward. Bella needed time to process though. I promise he's back next chapter. Review and let me know what you thought. Trust me, they make my day. I promise I won't bite!

Updates, teasers, all that stuff is at my twitter everydaybella89

Hum, I wonder whats waiting for Princess Bella in the gardens. Just have to wait till next time to find out! TTFN!


	10. Tip of the Iceberg

**AN:**

Alrighty, my beta's state of delusion, Batgirl8968, and onlybythenight1 are terrific for working with me through this. My validation beta WutheringBites is as well. Okay, I'll talk to you down at the bottom.

I own multiple copies of the Twilight books. However, I don't own any of these characters. I just like playing with them. When I'm done they have to go back into the box. *pouts*

**Tip of the Iceberg**

_Welcome back winter once again_

_And put on your warm fuzzy sweater_

_Cuz you'll feel much better when,_

_The snowflakes fall gently to the ground._

_The temperature drops_

_And your shivers freeze all the rivers around…_

_Snow drifts build up and enfold us,_

_As we wait out this winter storm._

_So we'll snuggle close in the darkness,_

_And keep each other so warm._

_-Owl City_

**BPOV**

The pure white snow crunched beneath my boots as I made my way through the gardens. Everything was coated in its stark white. There was maybe four or five inches on the ground, and the tall, stately trees were burdened with either snow or ice. The statues, benches, and fountains were covered as well. It was oddly quiet. I was the only one out in this cold, wintery paradise. I would be sick of all this in a couple months, but for now, I was enjoying it. It was fresh and new, and since it didn't seem that anyone else was out here, I got it all to myself.

The gardens were individual plots of about fifty to sixty square feet each. They were separated by rows of hedges and trees. Each garden had something different; some had statues of cherubs and Greek gods, and others had fountains or little ponds. Normally all the gardens would be covered in flowers and bushes of all shapes and colors, but the gardeners had either pulled them up or covered them in thick black tarps to protect them from the snow. The ponds were iced over and the fountains turned off to prevent them freezing. To most it would have seemed stark or bland merely covered in white, but I thought it was pretty.

I carefully made my way through the snow, across the front garden, and into the lane that ran between the hedges dividing the gardens. The easiest way to get to the garden you wanted was to go through here. The hedge rose high above my head and was broken only by the occasional heavy looking wooden gate. From here you couldn't see into the gardens so you had to know where you were going. Deep shadows from the old towering trees feel over me. The simple grey coble stone walk was covered with the snow that had made it down between the trees. When I was a child, I used to run through here trying to find a hidden door that would lead to my own secret garden.

I might have never found my secret garden, but I did find a favorite amongst the many that my family held. It was set toward the back, which meant it was up against the mountain side. In the middle there was a wide fountain surrounded in the spring and summer by bright colorful flowers. A single tall oak tree was the only other defining feature. Between the large tree and overshadowing mountain, the garden had a tendency to be dark and gloomy. It also wasn't as wildly decorated as some of the others. As a result of these factors this garden wasn't visited as much, which meant I could be alone here and not be bothered.

I headed down the lane and took several turns before I found myself in front of the last door in this part of the lane. Turning the handle I pushed the door open with a gentle squeak. Inside I found, unsurprisingly, everything covered in snow. The fountain was off but looked like there was still water in the base that had turned into ice. The great oak's branches hung low under the weight of the snow and ice. There was a bench on the other side of the tree, which was hidden from view when you first walked into the garden.

I set off across the garden planning to enjoy a few moments of being truly alone before Alice, Jasper, and Rosalie showed up. Needless to say, when I rounded the corner of the tree, I was surprised to see someone sitting on my bench. Though, as soon as I noticed his wild copper hair, I felt a smile blossom across my face. Edward was wearing a thick wool coat with a wide black velvet collar. I had a feeling that if he were standing the coat would reach to his knees. He was leaning down so that he was facing his lap, and I couldn't see his face. His black gloved hands were scribbling in a notebook in his lap. He must have come through the back entrance, because I hadn't seen any tracks in the snow from my end. I was surprised that he had found the old gate which was heavily overgrown from lack of use.

I stopped walking when I saw him sitting there alone, content just to watch him for a moment. Whatever he was working on, it had his complete focus. He never looked up from his lap and his right hand continued to scrawl something in that notebook. His left hand would occasionally tap against his thigh. I had a feeling that he was playing an imaginary piano. More than ever I wanted to know what he was doing. I suspected that he was composing without a piano, and if he was, I was extremely impressed. That couldn't be easy.

Something must have finally alerted him to the fact that he wasn't alone, because he suddenly stiffened and raised his head so that he was looking directly in front of him. After a moment he turned so that he was looking directly at me. His beautiful green eyes widened when he caught sight of me watching him. I bit my lip and waved shyly, which made him smile and laugh.

"I'm not somewhere I'm not supposed to be am I, Princess?" he asked.

"Bella," I reminded him. "And no, you're allowed anywhere in the gardens." I moved away from the tree and went to sit next to him. I saw now that the notebook was in fact music notation. I had been right. "You just happen to be in my favorite garden. Lucky me."

Edward grinned. "Funny, I was just thinking the same thing."

I looked away from his glorious face before I could get myself in trouble. My eyes settled over the snow covered gardens, when something odd about what he had been doing struck me. "Why are you here writing music when you could be inside?"

He smiled bashfully, and I was surprised to see a hint of chagrin enter his face. He looked like I had just called him out for some kind of sin. "I was hiding from Emmett. He decided he needed to bug me about everything this morning, so I figured that the one place he wouldn't be willing to go was out here. You're sure I'm not in the way or anything?"

"No, I'm the only one who usually comes out here anyway," I told him. "What was Emmett bothering you about?" The last I had heard about him was when he and Rosalie disappeared together just before Edward and I started dancing.

Edward shrugged looking down at his lap. He had closed his music book and placed it on the bench next to him. He was now twisting his fingers in his lap. It was odd to see him so self-conscious. He had been so confident and self-assured last night. I wondered what had happened since then to turn him this awkward. I wanted to make him more confident again. He had no reason not to be.

"You don't have to tell me if you don't want to," I told him. "Just forget I asked."

His tense posture dropped suddenly and he laughed. Just a low chuckle that sent warm shivers up my spine. "No, it's not that. I just wasn't sure how you would take it."

What was it Emmett bugging him about? And why would it bother me? "Trust me, I don't think you would bother me." I grinned. _Not like that anyway._

Edward studied me with his sharp emerald eyes. I wasn't sure what he saw there, but he must have found something in my face that was good because he said, "Emmett seems to think that I like you and was trying to get me to confirm or deny."

I swallowed a lump in my throat and fought to keep my eyes on his face. I wasn't sure how I wanted him to answer me. Did he like me or not? Yes, I wanted to know. I didn't know what it was about him. I hadn't been able to stop thinking about him all day. He had always been in the background of my mind. I had even gushed about him to Renee. I wanted to know that I was as ever present in his mind as he was in mine. "What did you tell him?" I asked, trying to keep from turning red. It was no use though.

Edward's thin lips pressed together into a tense line. He seemed to think for a moment, studying my face again before he answered, "I didn't answer him."

My stomach dropped, making me sick. I ducked my head so that he wouldn't be able to see the sudden tears that threatened my eyes. I shouldn't have gotten my hopes up. Of course he didn't feel anything like that toward me. There wasn't anything special about me, except for my title, and I didn't even like that. All I had was boring plain features that you could find on anyone. I had been stupid to think that I could even begin to mean anything to someone as beautiful or talented as Edward.

I was surprised to feel a gloved finger underneath my chin, pulling my face up to meet his gaze. He was smiling gently, and his eyes were thoughtful, holding a hint of compassion and warmth in them. "I didn't tell him anything," he said softly, still holding up my head with his finger. "Because I wasn't sure if I should have those feelings. I was worried. I do know this though; last night was one of the greatest evenings of my life, Bella"

I smiled, my spirit immediately lifting. "It was mine too," I whispered. "And you know, it's not the Dark Ages anymore. There's nothing keeping us apart if you feel that way. Some people might not like it, and I can't promise it will be easy. I would understand if you thought it wasn't worth it. But if you're willing to give it a go, then I am too."

He grinned and said, "Why don't we take it slow and see where it goes?"

I nodded in agreement. We had just met after all. Still, I couldn't refuse the connection I felt with him. Sitting next to him on this bench felt more like home than my own bedroom. I had to resist the urge to reach out and grab his hand, which was weird because I had never been much for cuddling or public displays of affection. With Edward it just felt natural to be touching him in some way. Hell, we had danced all night. I shivered and rubbed my hand on my arms trying to chase away the goose bumps.

"Are you cold?" he asked. His eyes studied me worriedly as I shivered. I felt oddly cared for as he reached out to wrap his arm around my shoulder. "You've been out here for quite a while without a coat, and I don't want you to get sick. You can have mine if you need it."

I shook my head and snuggled myself deeper into his warm side. "I'm alright. Alice is supposed to bring me my coat anyway. She and Jasper should be here any minute."

He welcomed my closeness and even tightened his arm around my shoulders. The sweet, almost woodsy scent coming off his skin made me want to cuddle closer into his warmth. I just managed to keep from closing my eyes and going back to sleep. Edward didn't seem to find the need to speak or do anything either.

It was the peals of giggles coming from the other side of the tree that alerted me to the fact that Alice and Jasper had arrived. Just a few moments later, the tiny black haired sprite came into view followed shortly by Jasper. Alice saw Edward and I curled up together on the bench and her eyes went wide with shock. Whatever she had expected to find, it clearly wasn't this. After her shock wore off, she grinned.

"There you are." She danced over to us and handed me a bright red jacket. Slightly unwilling, I pulled out of Edward's arms and stood up to slip on the coat.

"Alice, Jasper, this is Edward Cullen," I said as I snapped up the buttons on my coat. Of course Alice already knew who he was, but they hadn't been properly introduced. Jasper's stormy grey eyes studied Edward as well. "Edward, this is Alice Brandon and Jasper Whitlock. Alice is one of my Ladies in Waiting, and Jasper is my bodyguard and Chief of Security."

Alice wasted no time getting to know Edward. She promptly sat down on the end of the bench after I again claimed the seat next to him. She leaned over me and began interrogating him about anything and everything. I think she was impressed when she heard that he was from New York and made him describe the city in detail. Unfortunately for her, his description for the places she really wanted to know about, like 5th Avenue, were lacking in her eyes. He wasn't likely to go wander through a bunch of women's clothing shops. This seemed to disappoint her, but she recovered and continued to ask him more about the city.

While they talked, I studied Jasper. He looked much more relaxed today than he usually did. No doubt that was a result of spending the morning with Alice. He was dressed in a simple pair of dark blue jeans and a hunter green coat, rather than his usual uniform. He was leaning casually against the tree and watching us, but not as intently as he usually did, even though he was technically on duty since we had sent Alec away. I enjoyed seeing him this way. It wasn't often that I got see him so relaxed and easy going. It was nice.

I refocused on the conversation going on around me. Edward had taken hold of the conversation and was asking about Edelweiss. We hadn't spoken much about my home country last night, so now he was getting the information from Alice. I decided to leave them to their own devices. Secretly, however, I was thrilled that the guy I liked and one of my best friends were getting along so well. I would have to ask Alice's opinion of Edward later.

In the meantime, I went to join Jasper by the tree. His eyes never left Alice. It was cute. "It's good to see you so happy, Jasper," I told him.

He slowly turned to face me, though his grey eyes still seemed a little clouded over. "Am I not always?" he asked confused.

"Maybe I misspoke." I considered. "You're always happy, or most always. You're rarely this relaxed. You should take some time off more often. It's good for you."

He shrugged. "It's not the time off that relaxes me," he told me. "It's the time I get to spend with Alice. Besides, there is no one in your security detail I trust to leave you with for an extended period of time."

I pouted. "I'm not a child, Jasper. Besides I don't really think I'm in a lot of danger here."

He shrugged. "It is my duty to you and the crown to make sure you survive to reign after your mother, Bella. It's not something I take lightly. In the process, however, I also get to protect Alice, who is the love of my life. That's something not many people get to do."

We were both silent and content to watch Alice and Edward laugh about some story Alice had just told. I felt a pang of regret and worry as I watched Edward. I knew Alice would never leave Jasper, but what if Edward decided I was nothing next to someone as smart and charming as Alice, or worse, as beautiful and slutty as Tanya. As if sensing my anxiety, Edward looked up at me, his emerald eyes shining with mirth and amusement and something else just underneath the surface that I couldn't quite read. Maybe it was adoration, or sympathy, or just plain and simple understanding and reassurance. He smiled, his white teeth flashing as he grinned at me. I couldn't help but smile back. He was infectious.

"Would you stop following me?" The screech pierced through the peaceful moment followed by the booming, "Aw, come on babe, you like it and you know it."

"I do not!" Rosalie appeared around the tree first, her normally pale face flushed red, and then came the massive form of Emmett behind her. He was grinning and laughing, obviously amused with the situation. "You're moronic and pushy, overgrown, and completely idiotic!"

Emmett just seemed to laugh harder at her outburst. I glanced at Edward who had placed his head in his hands and was rubbing his eyes with his long fingers. He looked exasperated with his best friend. If I had still been sitting next to him, I would have told him he had nothing to be worried about. Sure, Rosalie looked pissed, but the fire that lit her violet eyes wasn't anger, it was excitement. Rosalie had a volatile personality and it came out in many different ways. Last night she had been unsteady and worried, and something had changed overnight. Now she was strong and confident, standing on her own and putting on a show. She knew what she wanted and she wasn't going to take no for an answer. Unfortunately, her object of affection wanted the same thing so she was going to make him work for it, and play hard to get. It was classic Rosalie.

Alice glanced my way and clapped a hand over her mouth to hide her grin and stifle her giggles. We had seen this a hundred times. Rosalie loved playing games with men, she always had. She was playing pretty hard with this one though. I was momentarily surprised she had let this go on so long. She usually got through the night and was done.

"Emmett, what are you doing?" Edward asked, staring at his friend with baleful eyes. I wasn't sure he really wanted the answer. I would really have to explain Rosalie to him later. Although, I thought she may have met her match with Emmett.

"Ah, come on, Eddie." I tried not to giggle at the nickname. Edward shot a glare at Emmett which only made him smile larger. "I'm not doing anything but walking."

Edward rolled his eyes and turned to Rosalie. "I'm sorry if he's bugging you. He has a habit of doing that."

Rose shrugged and took the empty seat next to Alice. "It's really not that unusual for me. Besides, I've seen far better. Most at least try to be inconspicuous about following me around." She glared at Emmett again before shooting a pointed look at me. Then her eyes quickly darted to Edward before turning back to me with a smirk. Of course, she would have put two and two together.

"Um, Rose, this is Edward Cullen. Edward, this is Rosalie Hale." Rose shot me another one of those knowing looks. I resisted the urge to flip her off and make her stop. She already knew I was crushing on him, she didn't have to rub it in.

"It's a pleasure to meet you," Edward told her. "Though I do believe you've already met Emmett." Rose scowled at Emmett while he just grinned and slouched against the tree next to Jasper and I. Jasper studied him for a moment before nodding and turning his attention back to the three on the bench. It seemed Emmett had passed the test, whatever it was.

"So, Princess," Emmett turned his baby blue eyes on me. "I couldn't get any information out of my friend over there." He pointed at Edward. "But I know he was with you when I left last night. So, tell me, did Edward behave himself? I need to know so I can tell his mother."

I grinned at Emmett and decided to play along. "Well, first, call me Bella. Second, yes he was with me till two in the morning, dancing. He was very well behaved, the prefect gentlemen. You should tell his mother she did a very good job with him."

A truly mischievous twinkle entered his eyes, and I was suddenly afraid of what I may have unleashed. A quick glance at Edward confirmed my suspicions with a worried, if not sympathetic, look. It seemed whatever I unleashed I had brought on myself. "Dancing, huh?" Emmett grinned wickedly. "Tell me, was that as satisfying for you? He seemed to enjoy it, if you get my drift."

It took me a moment, but as soon as I realized what he meant, about dancing and satisfying, and how Edward had "enjoyed" it, I blushed beet red. I was no stranger to sexual innuendo, but I still never failed to blush. The fact that I had just met Emmett, and that I certainly had had those kinds of thoughts about Edward, only intensified it. I ducked my head down to stare only at my feet and not have to look at anyone.

I was surprised to hear a sudden giggle from the bench. It wasn't the rich, chuckle I had already encountered with Edward, nor was it Alice's high pitched almost squeal. I had to look up to confirm my guess. Sure enough Rosalie was giggling at Emmett's joke. I wasn't the only one who was studying Rose. Everyone else was also looking at her in shock. She must have forgotten that she was supposed to be mad at Emmett. When she noticed that we were all watching her, she abruptly stopped laughing and fixed a sharp look on her face. It was no good though; we could all see the amusement hiding underneath.

"Yes!" Emmett exclaimed. "I knew it. I knew you weren't really mad at me." Rosalie tried to scowl at him, but it was obscured by the grin threatening to overtake her face. She just loved to make fun of anyone. Yes, I was afraid she had met her match in Emmett. When they got together, and it was a matter of when not if, they would be a force to be reckoned with.

We laughed at Rosalie, who gave up fighting with her expression and winked at Emmett, who grinned back at her. Oh God, we were in so much trouble. I may have only just met Emmett, but I could already tell from the way he grinned mischievously that he was a prankster and a joker. When combined with Rosalie's natural snark, they would be the terror of the Palace. I shot a worried glance at Edward who merely shrugged and sighed. It seemed he had no control over Emmett. I couldn't blame him.

This was oddly comfortable, Emmett and Rosalie teasing everyone mercilessly, Jasper calmly watching the rest of us, Alice being her usual bouncing, bubbly self, and Edward and I trying, and often failing, to keep everyone in line. We ended up staying out for the rest of the afternoon. At one point, Emmett threw a snowball at Edward, who threw one back at him, before Alice joined the fun. Within minutes we were all running around the garden, chasing each other and throwing snowballs. Even Jasper was, for once, not trying to protect me. In fact he was doing nothing but laughing as Edward chased me around the fountain, not that I minded in the least.

Edward finally did manage to grab me around the waist and drag me onto the wet snow on my back. He grinned down at me, propping himself up on his arm. His bronze hair was more misplaced than normal and his pale cheeks were flushed a light pink from the cold and exertion, but It was his eyes that took my breath away. They were the deep green that I had grown to expect over this short period, but the usual mystery, that sense of something else taking place just under the surface, was gone. Those emerald embers were open with mischievous humor and life. It was by far the most beautiful I had ever seen him. His crooked grin was merely icing on the cake. I couldn't breathe for a moment as I stared at his exquisite face.

"I haven't done something wrong, have I?" he asked. His rich voice washed over me, making me slightly dizzy and not helping with the sudden bout of light headiness at all. He didn't look worried. He looked more relaxed, happy really, than worried. I liked it much more than I should have.

"No," I gasped, trying to force air into my lungs. "At least, it's nothing that I wouldn't have minded."

He pressed his lips into a firm line and rested his head in one of his pale hands. "Hum, I have a feeling I could do anything around you and get away with it. I'm not sure that's a good thing."

I shrugged, laying my head back to stare up at the clear blue sky and not his face in an effort to keep my mind clear. I suspected he knew what I was doing, and the effect he had on me, because he scooted across the snow so that there was less than an inch of air between us. The right side of my body tingled in anticipation of the fact that I might get to touch him again. _Stupid, treacherous body._ "It's all in who you know," I told him airily.

"I can see that," he said, his voice barely above a whisper. "Unfortunately, I have never been good at networking."

I shrugged again and closed my eyes. I imagined that I could feel the warmth seeping off him. It was a wondrous feeling and I secretly hoped that this wouldn't be the last time we ended up laying side by side. I resisted the urge to close what little bit of space was between us and curl up at his side. As it was, we were so caught up in our own bubble that I, at least, forgot there was anyone else in the garden.

"You two had better get up from there," Alice pretended to scold us. "Otherwise you run the risk of getting sick."

I sighed and sat up. She did have a point. Being wet and cold was not a good combination. Still, I didn't want to give up my moment of peace and fantasy. Edward had already made it to his feet so he offered me his hand to help me stand up. Feeling a slight thrill as I took his gloved hand, he pulled me up and we were again standing so close that there was little room between us. I was a head shorter than he so I had to crane my head up to look at his. His eyes were back to that deep, mysterious state that they usually were. They were just as beautiful as before, but I couldn't help but miss the openness from before.

"Thanks, Edward," I muttered.

"You're welcome."

"Bella, it's getting dark." Alice bounced to my side, breaking the intense bubble Edward and I seemed to be wrapped in. "Let's go inside and warm up and get some dinner. I'm starving."

"Okay," I told her. She went to tell Jasper and Rose we were fixing to leave, and I turned back to Edward. "I guess I'll see you soon?"

"Of course." He nodded. "Besides, I don't think Emmett and Rosalie will make life easy on us for a while."

"Probably not," I agreed and laughed.

We stood awkwardly for a moment, neither of us sure what to say or do. Saying one last good-bye, I followed Alice, Jasper, and Rosalie out through the gate. I took one last look behind me at Edward, standing forlornly beside a frozen fountain. I swear my heart skipped a beat when he waved and winked at me.

**AN: **

Awwww, aren't they just cute! I love them. LOL Next time we'll have to see what Phil had planned for for dinner with Bella, Renee, and Jacob.

As always teasers and stuff over on my twitter everydaybella89.

Drop me a line and let me know what you think!


	11. The House Wins

**Author's Chapter Notes:**

Okay before you kill me, yeah I know its been a long time, I'm sorry. Everybody is busy. Such is life. If I could stay home all the time and write I would but I have to have a job and make money and all that crap. Love me anyways?

As always much love must go to my beta's Batgirl8968 and onlybythenight1 and the ever talented State of delusion. Really, this won't be near as good with out her.

Things I own, so much new Twilight Merc! I love Breaking Dawn! Things I don't own, Edward. He talks to me in my sleep sometimes though. Be jelly.

**Chapter 11**

**The House Wins**

_If Evil were the lesser breed,_

_Than justice after all these years,_

_The righteous would have freed the world of sin._

_The house wins,_

_Oh, the house always wins._

_You don't have to be alone to be lonely,_

_You might as well give in._

_-Ok Go_

**BPOV**

The next week passed by in a blur. Renee kept Alice, Rosalie, and I fairly busy because she wanted our help planning next week's Halloween party. The party was meant mostly for the younger groups in the Palace, so she needed help. It wasn't my choice of things to help with, but as my mother asked, I couldn't refuse. It wasn't as bad as I thought it would be anyway. The planning committee took care of most of the details, leaving Renee and I to handle the overall plan.

In addition to all that, Rosalie, Alice, and I were trying to decide where to spend the Christmas holidays. We had it narrowed down to two different places, but settling on one was proving tough. We each wanted something different, so we had to work out a compromise. Technically, I could have just said where we were going, and they would have had to be happy about it. However, I wanted each of us to get what we wanted, so it was taking some time. Rosalie didn't want to go home—relations with her mother were worse than ever, and she would have preferred to stay in a town. I had no problem with that. Since The Crown owned several town houses, we could have our pick of those. I took the one in Riviera de Montagne out because I didn't want to be that close to the Palace. Rose said no to Belleview because it was under her parent's governorship. That left two towns, Crépuscule on the eastern slope, and Bois de Dœur on the valley floor, either of which would have been fine.

Alice however was being a problem; she refused to commit to either of them. The house in Crépuscule was bigger than the one in Bois de Dœur. Alice seemed to think that we needed the larger one, even though it was only the three of us, Jasper, and at most, three other guards going with us. Rose and I thought the smaller house in Bois de Dœur would be fine, but Alice continued to insist we needed the room and wouldn't tell us why. Needless to say, we hadn't worked it out yet.

Through the course of the week, we spent a lot of time with Edward and Emmett. It wasn't usually by direction. We would merely find ourselves in the same place, or we would run into each other in the halls and end up following each other. I honestly only went looking for Edward once—okay maybe twice—but I only found him once.

Emmett told us Edward tended to lock himself up in the music room during the day. Emmett would drag him out around dinner and then bring him to "hang" with us for the evening. I had never been happier. I even tried to keep my evenings free. It meant that I got to spend uninterrupted time with Edward. We would usually curl up on opposite ends of the couch and talk for hours. It was the most comfortable I had ever been. We never sat as close as we did in the garden and we barely touched. Although I missed the immense comfort—that feeling of home that came when our skin was in contact—we had decided without a word to slow down.

For now, it was enough that his green eyes watched me intently as I spoke, and that I would get to hear some of his opinions and the music he was working on. When we were there, just like all the other times we had been together, we would forget about everything around us and enter own private world. Even with Emmett and Rosalie's playful (and often explicit) banter, and Alice chirping away about this, that, and the other, it was far too easy to forget about everything and simply be. Hours would go by and before either of us knew it, the clock would chime midnight. Our friends would be bleary eyed and ready for bed, while Edward and I were still fresh and awake. Honestly, the smooth rich texture of his voice—a symphony all its own—was better than the richest, warmest blanket I owned. I could stay on that couch all night and not miss a wink of sleep.

Unfortunately, Alice would always drag me off to get ready for bed, and Emmett would pull Edward away promising that he would see me soon. Part of me was starting to wish he would just kiss me goodnight. It wouldn't have to be anything big, just a quick press of our lips would be enough to give me wonderful dreams for weeks. Not that I didn't already wake up in the middle of a pool of sweat from dreams about him. I didn't know how much longer we could keep our barricades in place anyway. I had noticed over the last several days that we had begun scooting closer to each other on the couch. Like magnets, it seemed that we could no longer deny the pull that had brought us together in the first place.

It was a pity I wouldn't be able to continue with this new exploration tonight, as I was almost certain that we would end up touching. Unfortunately, I had the preplanned dinner tonight with Phil, Renee, and the Monaco delegation. I would much rather be in my sitting room, on my couch, with my friends and the object of my affection, but I couldn't get out of it. I had tried—I'd begged Renee to just let me out of it. She had insisted I go. She seemed to think that it was important. However, Jasper had told me that he had learned that it was Phil insisting I go, not Renee. That had made me so mad that I had wanted to march over to his office and give him a piece of my mind. I had started to but Jasper had warned me that now was not the time and to not show all my cards at once. I had taken his advice, but I wasn't happy about it. Phil had no right to be directing my life. Keeping my mouth shut tonight would be hard.

My stomach dropped as I considered my options. I could just stay in, and if I had my choice I would. I wanted to curl up next to Edward and discuss the weather, anything to get him to talk or even be close to him. Instead I had to attend a fancy dinner with my loathed step-father. Alice and Rosalie weren't even going to be there. It was a private dinner, so they weren't invited. At least Jacob would be there. That could at least be interesting. To be honest though, since the Fall Ball, I didn't really know how to feel about Jacob. Jacob could be sweet and charming when he wanted to be, I didn't deny that. The first time I'd met him, that day at court, he had seemed to be a fun guy. After what he had done at the Ball, grabbing me to keep me from walking away, I was having my doubts. I did not like what he had done, no matter what I may have shown. He had apologized for it, and I had accepted it. However, it didn't help that my mind was so wholly consumed by Edward. Every thought seemed to concentrate on him.

As a result, I couldn't help but compare them. Jacob was a Lord, while Edward was a pianist with no title to his name—not that that mattered to me. Jacob seemed to hide parts of whom he was; he was secretive, while with Edward what you saw was what you got. He would calmly explain what he thought about something and leave you to form your own opinions. He certainly wouldn't get mad or upset if you disagreed like I had seen Jacob do. I also couldn't see Jacob in the situation that Edward and I had been in for the last several nights. It was too casual and mutual for him. Edward and I would ask each other questions and share the spotlight. On a memorable occasion, we had even sat comfortably in silence. It was just natural.

Jacob however, was pushy and wanted to be the center of attention. Even if he bothered to let me have a say, he would have turned the conversation back to himself quickly. When he asked me about something, it would be blunt and abrasive, not like Edward's gently probing questions that always left me room to not answer if I didn't want to. There was also that magnetic pull I had when I was near Edward. I wanted to know what he was doing, thinking, or saying at that moment. I could go days without thinking about Jacob, and I never thought about any of those things where he was concerned.

Alice had asked me if I liked Edward more than Jacob, and at the time I didn't have an answer for her. I think I did now, and it was Edward. Yes, Jacob was charming and good looking, but there was just something about him that I couldn't quite put my finger on. Besides, Phil could be quite charming too, and that wasn't saying much. Oh, why couldn't it be simple? I had to wonder if normal people, people who didn't have fancy titles or live in palaces, ever felt like this—torn between two opposing options.

I sighed and sank into the plush armchair next to the fireplace in my room. I was supposed to be getting ready for dinner, but I just couldn't get my brain into it. I felt tired and drained and the thought of having to spend the next several hours with Phil was enough to make a shiver of displeasure shoot down my spine. I closed my eyes and pictured Bern, hundreds of miles away from here and without all the baggage. Surprisingly, the image didn't bring the comfort that it usually did. I knew almost immediately why. If I hadn't come home, I wouldn't have met Edward. It scared me a little how much of a hold he already had on me.

I shook my head, banishing the ghost-like images and stood up. No matter what I wanted or complained about, I was here now and I had a duty to perform. I just had to get my head in the right place. In other words, no more Edward—easier said than done. I hadn't seen him all day. He had locked himself up in the music room. I had wanted to try to have lunch with him, but I didn't want to disturb him. Emmett said he did this whenever he was working on a new piece and not to worry about him.

I went through the rest of my routine, trying unsuccessfully to banish the images of Edward behind a piano, his back slightly bent over the keys and his long fingers working to bring out the most beautiful music. I had yet to hear him play, but I had been told that it was magical. I was impatient to hear it myself.

I finished my make-up, dressed, and was preparing to go get Rose to do my hair when I came to the realization that banishing Edward from my mind was an impossible task. It was just going to make this harder. I was going to have to get my mood under control otherwise tonight would be even worse than it could be.

I opened the bedroom door to find Alice and Rosalie both on the couch, arguing about our Christmas plans. "Rose," I called. "Can you do my hair please?"

"You're late, Bella," Alice announced as Rose got up and pulled me back into the bathroom. "You should have been done twenty minutes ago."

"I'm sorry, Alice," I muttered bitterly. "I'm afraid I'm just not into it tonight."

She leaned against the door jam, studying me as Rose hurriedly did up my long, brown hair. Her midnight blue eyes narrowed, but they also lost their animosity. "What's wrong with you, Bella? You've been in a bad mood all day. It's kind of weird, because you've been oddly happy for the last week."

I sighed and struggled to stand still under Rosalie's hands, feeling the need to fidget. Alice was right; it wasn't that I was usually unhappy, just that I had been more chipper than usual. In fact, I had acted more like Alice. My sudden sour mood had no doubt surprised her. I was shocked that she hadn't figured out the source of it yet. She was usually more perceptive than that. "It's nothing, Alice. I just don't want to go tonight."

Alice's thin, delicate eyebrows drew into a tight line. It looked like she was fixing to say something, but Rosalie interrupted. "Just let her go, Alice. It won't kill you not to know for once."

Alice pouted, but seemed to take Rose's advice. She didn't look happy about it, but at least she didn't ask me what was wrong. The answer was too complicated. I smiled at Rose in the mirror in thanks. She merely shrugged as she twisted one last braid into place.

If anyone understood what I was going through, it was Rose. While Edward and I had put on some breaks, Emmett and Rosalie were going at it like bats out of hell. Emmett would still follow Rose around while she yelled profanities at him. The funny thing was at night, when we were all hanging out in my sitting room, they acted like a couple of horny teenagers. It had gotten to the point last night that we had threatened to kick them out. I didn't understand their dynamic at all. It was just odd. They acted like they couldn't stand each other during the day, but they were the perfect couple at night.

"Alright…" Rose pushed me toward the door. "You really are behind. Alice and I are going to finish you up so that you can go. No, I know you don't want to go, Bella, but you don't have a choice. Get over it."

I made a face, but I knew that she was right. I shook my head and decided not to fight them as they finished the fine outfit. It took them only five minutes to find a pair of shoes, add a necklace to my neckline, and push me out the door, promising to see me tomorrow. Jasper, of course, followed me as I determinedly headed down the hall.

"Just take a deep breath, Bella," I told myself. "It's not that bad. It's just a dinner that will likely last all night. It's not that bad." I was rarely ever in a hurry, so to see me in one was odd.

Needless to say, I made it to the salon in less than two minutes, though by then it was already too late. I stood in front of the door for a moment and straightened my simple dark blue dress before knocking on the door. The door glided open almost immediately, revealing a dark, elegant salon. The mahogany fireplace held a roaring fire that warmed the room. There was another door on the right which I knew lead toward the dining room.

"Isabella," Phil said sharply from where he was standing next to the fireplace. "I'm glad you finally decided to join us."

I bit my tongue in order to keep from blurting out the first thing that came to my mind. I wanted to tell him that he had no right to tell me when I was supposed to be somewhere. I could also feel Jasper's defensive instincts rise behind me. Unfortunately, he couldn't say anything to Phil. I could have sworn I heard him growl however.

Swallowing my sharp retort, I told him, "Well, Phil, I'm afraid that we can't all be as punctual as you. It's a shame isn't it?" Sarcasm dripped from my words. He glared at me for a moment. He hated it when I called him Phil, but as he refused to call me Bella, I thought it was only fair. He scowled at me momentarily before turning back to the painting over the mantel he had been studying when I walked in. That was fine with me; if I could go all night without interacting with him, I would.

Renee was sitting on the couch watching Phil and I with a worried eye. I went and sat next to her. She looked at Phil for a moment before turning to me. "You really shouldn't be hard on him, you know," she told me. "He was just pointing out that you were a little bit late."

I rolled my eyes. Of course she was defending him. Yes, I was late, but it wasn't like there was anyone else here yet either. He had no right to snap at me like that. I was a princess by birth; he was a king by marriage alone. He would probably fight me on that. I was "commonly born" after all. In any case it hurt that my mother was so quick to defend him against me. I understood that she loved him—well I didn't, but I handled it. Did that really mean that everything he said was gold, even if it was against me or my father? Emotions I had long since locked away after my last argument with my mother, just before I had left, came bubbling to the surface. I had confronted her about what I thought Phil was doing to her, using her. No matter what I had said, she wouldn't listen to me—wouldn't believe me. When she said that Phil was much better for her, and me, than Charlie had ever been, I had been done. I had never felt more betrayed or abandoned than that moment. I didn't think she really meant it, just that Phil had her so blinded that she didn't realize that she had said it.

I looked down at my lap and tried to blink away the sudden attack of tears. I suppose that was the natural result of the emotions that I had battled just in the last hour, but now was not the time. I couldn't break down in front of Renee, and it would be dangerous to show any kind of weakness in front of Phil.

Fortunately, Renee seemed to ignore my situation and quickly changed the subject. It seemed that she and Phil were discussing the dinner order, if you could call it a discussion. It was more like Phil telling Renee how it was going to going to be. I swallowed around the bad taste in my mouth. Part of me just wanted to scream at her to stand up for herself.

"I'm going to need you to keep Billy entertained so that I can speak with Jacob," he told her. "It shouldn't be too hard. Just ask him about the country or something. He likes sentimental things like that, the fool."

I fisted my hands in my lap and imagined smacking him. I wasn't usually a violent person, but the images were oddly refreshing.

Renee nodded, but didn't say anything. Not that I was surprised. It was fairly normal, from what I saw anyway. Renee used to be a lot of fun; she was happy and chipper. She used to be the first person to respond when asked a question, and she was always enthusiastic about it. Not anymore.

I did notice that he didn't tell me to do anything particular. Maybe he knew that if he tried he would be getting a piece of my mind. I leaned back into my seat and listened as Phil began to drone on and on about shipping taxes and plans. It seemed this was more of a business meeting for Phil. _Great, just great._

The sharp knock on the door jolted me from my pensive wondering. It was opened with a flourish by the doorman, and Jacob and Billy both entered. Jacob walked alone into the room; Billy, pushed by a servant, followed. Genuine smiles were plastered across both their faces. Jacob immediately walked over to Phil, shaking his hand. He leaned in close to Phil and whispered something in his ear. Phil looked mad for a moment; his dark eyes burned with an inner fire before he quieted and whispered something back to Jacob. Whatever Phil said must have appeased him, because Jacob pulled away smirking. I noticed Jasper, still standing by the door, watching them intently as well. I wondered what he saw that I didn't.

Wrenching my eyes away from them, I turned to Renee and Billy. Renee had gotten up from the couch to great him, and they were now chatting amicably. Swallowing the unease that settled in my stomach from watching Phil and Jacob, I got up and went to join Renee and Billy.

It was good to see Billy again. While my unease and suspicion may have grown regarding his son, I was still just as sure about Billy. His open, honest smile and gentle demeanor pointed only to a simple man who knew the value of hard work and good humor. It was easy to be around him and even Renee seemed to be more like her old self when she was with him.

Billy, Renee, and I spoke for a few moments, and I was beginning to loosen up when Phil and Jacob made their way over to us. Jacob said hello to Renee before turning to face me. "Princess, would you mind if I had a private word with you? I promise it won't take long." Something about his smile and the sparkle in his eyes had me saying yes and letting him pull me toward the side of the room.

"I'm afraid I may have offended you last week at the ball," he said. He looked down at me with a mixture of shame and apology on his face. "I shouldn't have pulled you like that. I was out of place and completely disrespectful. I'd like to apologize for it. I'm really very sorry, Bella. Could you find it in your heart to forgive me?"

Shit. Between those big brown eyes that stared at me with sincere remorse, and the fact that he had bothered to apologize at all, made it impossible for me to think badly about him. I bit my lip in worried indecision. On the one hand I was still mad at him for grabbing me like that; it was uncalled for and completely out of bounds. However, he did appear to be sorry about it. Maybe he hadn't really meant it, as off-putting as it was. Perhaps he just got caught up in the heat of the moment? I suppose that wasn't something to get mad at him for. I was worried about Jacob's dealings with Phil, but the kicked puppy dog expression made it impossible to continue with those thoughts. I had no doubt they would come back later, but you couldn't be guilty by association, could you?

"There's nothing to forgive, Jacob," I told him. "It was just a misunderstanding. It happens. I had a lot going on that night anyway. Although I wouldn't suggest doing it again; I might not be able to stop Jasper and Rosalie from killing you."

He laughed loudly, drawing the attention of Phil, Renee, and Billy. I did notice him looking worriedly at Jasper, who was standing impassively by the door. Even though he hadn't been here long, he had to already notice that Jasper was very serious about protecting me. Even Edward had already picked up on that. Although, I think Edward saw more than most people. He was very intuitive.

Jacob offered me his arm and guided us back toward Renee, Phil, and Billy. Not too long after, Renee escorted us into the dining room. It was smaller than the state dining room that I had first met Billy in, though it was no less opulent. The dark mahogany of the table and wood paneling combined with the dark greens and reds of the accents made for a dark, moody room. It was a little too dark for me, and it wasn't what Renee usually would choose either. I shrugged inwardly. I didn't know what to think anymore.

Dinner continued in a fairly easy fashion. Phil and Renee sat on either end of the table with Billy and Jacob on one side and me on the opposite side. This arrangement left me facing Jacob and Billy, which I really didn't mind. It was better than facing Phil.

Jacob and Phil dominated most of the conversation. It seemed that Phil was having trouble getting the Prince of Monaco's support for his shipping and trade endeavors. Jacob was offering ways of helping win the Prince over. It was all rather boring to me. I did try to follow along, because I wanted to know what Phil was planning. In order to do that, I needed to listen to what he was saying. I knew he wouldn't say much in front of Renee, Billy, and me, but I was hoping that he would slip up and say something to Jacob accidently that I could use. It was a long shot, I knew, but I could hope. This was about as close to Phil as I ever got, and if I had to suffer through it, I might as well make use of it.

Unfortunately, it didn't last long until Phil changed the subject. I wondered if he knew, somehow, that I was listening for something to use, because he turned the conversation onto me. "Isabella, I'm told you've been entertaining this week. Who was it, that new pianist, correct?"

I narrowed my eyes at him. Why was Phil asking if I spent time with Edward? Edward was a nobody; he shouldn't have even shown up on Phil's radar. Perhaps the more important question was how did Phil find out that I was spending so much time with Edward? I didn't think it was common knowledge that we had spent the last several evenings together. We were rarely together in public, not that there was anything wrong with that. Nowhere was it written that the princess couldn't spend time with someone visiting the Palace.

"His name is Edward, by the way. And yes, I did, and with his friend, Emmett," I answered carefully. I didn't want to walk into anything by saying the wrong thing. Jasper was standing behind me, so I couldn't see his face to know what he was thinking. It would have been helpful at the moment. "We met at the ball last week."

Phil smirked. It twisted his face, not in humor, but in mockery. I stifled a groan. Whatever he planned could not be good. I shot a quick glare at him. I didn't think he saw it, and if he did, I couldn't stop him.

"He's a smart boy it would seem." Phil laughed bitterly. "Getting close to the Princess is a good move. Who knows, maybe the American has some brains for more than just playing the piano."

I pressed my lips into a line and fought to keep my facial expressions under control. I knew where this was going and it wasn't going to be pretty. Part of me knew what was coming, that Phil was going to make an unwarranted insult on one of my friends and that by doing that he was going after me. It was like staring at an oncoming train and not being able to do anything about it. I didn't try to hide my glare this time.

"What do you mean, Phil?" Jacob asked, sounding honestly curious.

"It's quite simple." Phil leaned back in his chair, drink in his hand. He was the picture of absolute confidence as he spoke with Jacob. "This young man is, under royal society terms, "a nobody." The best he can do is play the piano—big deal. In order to move up in the world he has to be close to someone who already is. Who better to do that with than the young, impressionable princess?"

I gasped. He hadn't even tried to hide it. He'd just come out and said it. He called Edward an underhanded social climber and myself, "young and impressionable." I felt my cheeks burn red with embarrassment and anger. My eyes stung with tears. My fingers fisted and I stared at Phil. He rather calmly stared back, seemingly unimpressed by my irritation.

I took brief note of everyone at the table. Renee was looking down at her plate, again refusing to stand up for me. Billy looked shocked and also looked at Phil with what I could describe as fury. It was nice to know I had at least one ally. Jacob was glancing between the standoff taking place in front of him.

"You can't be so sure of that, My Lord," he said, skeptically. "He could just be a nice guy. It's hardly difficult to spend time with Bella, after all."

Phil smirked, but before he could say anything else, I spoke up. "With all due respect Phil, but I would appreciate it if you would refrain from insulting my friends. For your information, Edward could care less about social standing. Yes, he plays the piano but that is nothing to mock. Secondly, I would appreciate it if you would leave me out of any of your insults as you do not even truly know me nor any of my friends. Now, it was wonderful to see you again, Billy, Jacob, if you would excuse me."

I stood up and pushed away from the table, leaving my dessert only half eaten. I saw Billy's look of sympathy before I turned away from the table and marched out of the room. I knew that I was making a scene, but I couldn't bring myself to care. Jasper followed me out, walking closer to my side than he usually did.

I was halfway across the parlor we had been in earlier when I heard someone yelling behind me. "Bella! Bella, wait!"

I spun on my heel, prepared to give whoever it was a piece of my mind, when I saw it was Jacob running to catch me up. "What, Jacob?" I sighed. I really just wanted to be alone so that I could break down and not have to worry about who saw me. I was ready for today to be done so that I could move on.

"I just wanted to say that I am sorry," Jacob told me, when he stood in front of me. "I would never have asked him if I knew he would do that."

"Why would you spend so much time with him?" I wasn't mad at Jacob, but my raw emotions had pulled the question I had been wondering about for weeks to my lips. "He's mean and manipulative. He's obsessed with power and he doesn't care who he hurts to get it. Please, just explain it to me."

Jacob's dark eyes went wide at my outburst. I couldn't blame him; I wasn't exactly known for being loud. I had probably startled him. I didn't take the question back though. I wanted an answer. I stared at him, but I did try to soften my gaze. I didn't want him to think I was really mad at him. "It's just business, Bella," he said softly. I snorted, but he held up his hands. "No, wait, let me finish. I mean it. It's just business. You think I like what he just did to you?"

He reached for my cheek and gently brushed away a dark lock of my hair that had fallen there. His fingertips brushed my skin, wiping the tear tracks that I hadn't even known were there. Jacob leaned in closer, towering over me. He looked down, his black hair falling around his face. Suddenly, I couldn't breathe. I could feel the heat of his body hit mine. I was torn between wanting to stay right there and wanting to push away. How had this happened? I just asked him why he was so close to Phil and now he was standing within an inch of me.

"I hate what he just did to you, Bella," he said softly, staring down at me with an intense look in his dark eyes. I felt my cheeks color again, though this time, it wasn't from anger. "He had no reason to do that. You hadn't done anything to him. And you're anything but young and impressionable. Really, you're beautiful and intelligent."

As he spoke, he leaned down, his face inching closer to mine. I was frozen, unable to move. I was positive he was going to kiss me and I didn't know if I wanted it or not. Part of me said, "Hell, why not," while the other was imagining a pair of deep green eyes. Jacob's deep husky voice was lulling me into a state of delusion. I almost found myself standing on my tiptoes to reach him sooner.

At the last second, our noses touching and his lips mere centimeters from mine, a sharp pang of wrongness shot through me. This, whatever it was, was not right. At least Jacob wasn't right. He was nice and sweet and all, but he wasn't who I wanted to be with in this situation. In that instant, I made my decision, and jumped back as though shocked.

I gasped for breath and looked down at my shoes. My face was red, and I didn't want to look at Jacob. I didn't want to look at anyone. I wanted to crawl away and have a good cry all by myself.

"I'm sorry, Bella," Jacob said. He was trying to catch my eye, but I wouldn't look up from the floor. I heard Jasper, who I had forgotten about, move closer to me. No doubt he wanted to make sure I was okay. I wasn't, but I didn't need him to know that.

"Its fine," I muttered, just loud enough for Jacob to hear. "It's just been a really long night, well day, really."

Jacob nodded. "I'll see you later, alright?"

I nodded woodenly and watched him go back into the dining room. As soon as he disappeared, I turned and ran out to the hallway. I wanted to get as far away from there as I possibly could.

How could it all become such a big mess? I wasn't expecting the night to be great, but this just seemed a little extreme. Dealing with Phil and having him insult both me and Edward would have been enough. To top it all off though, there was Jacob. I couldn't believe he had almost kissed me. Or I had almost kissed him, whichever it was.

God, I was so confused. I didn't know what to do—really, I didn't. I was glad to find the hallways empty, because I did not want to see anyone. It was late, and most everyone was tucked into their own rooms. I thought about heading back to mine, but I didn't think I would have any solace there. I headed down the hall, not really watching where I was going.

Part of me wanted to go back to that dining room and follow this crazy urge to go back there and defend myself—and Edward too. It wasn't like he was there, and he couldn't do it himself. However, I made sure I kept my feet glued to the floor in front of myself. It would do me no good to go back there. It would just get me in more trouble.

I stumbled; the anger that had been pushing me forward was beginning to falter. I stopped and leaned against the wall. I sighed and blinked away the tears that were forming in my eyes. My head was full, each thought trying to cram out the next. I suddenly felt very tired.

"Bella," a low voice said. "Bella, are you alright?"

I closed my eyes and leaned my head against the wall. I had forgotten about Jasper. Of course, he had followed me. It was his job. All I really wanted was to be was alone. "I'm fine, Jasper. Just leave me alone, please."

"No, you're not." I opened my eyes and saw that he was looking at me with worry in his deep grey eyes.

I sighed. "Fine, I'm not alright." The anger and frustration were resurfacing which caused my words to be slightly harsher than I intended. I pushed away from and the wall and took a few steps farther down the hall before turning back to Jasper. "I know I'm not alright, but I just want to be alone, please, Jasper."

He stood still for a moment before he nodded. "I'll see you in the morning." I nodded in return, and he disappeared back down the hallway.

I sighed, and began my aimless wandering again. I was alone, finally, but I didn't feel any better. I knew each of these hallways with prefect clarity; I had only grown up in them after all. In this moment, they had never felt less like home.

As I was rounding a corner, the sound of tinkling piano notes hit my ears. It was an odd melody, almost like it was missing notes. As I listened though, the melody replayed several times, and each time it was a little more complete. The song was turning out to be sweet with a slightly melancholy undertone. It was beautiful. As I listened, I felt my mind and my heart slowly unknot. It was like a balm for my soul. I needed to find out where it was coming from.

It wasn't hard to work out where. As I rounded the corner, I remembered that the music room was right up ahead. Whoever was in there must have left the door open, allowing their music to seep out into the corridor. Gently I opened the door all the way to see into the oval room.

On the raised dais in the middle, sat a great, black grand piano. The only light in the room came from the back window. Even in the dim moonlight I could still see who was behind the piano. His multi-faceted bronze hair gave him away. Edward sat in front of the keys, his long fingers bringing forth the sweet music that had drawn me here. He was intent on the music he was making, giving me the chance to watch him. He had never been more beautiful, there was no way. He didn't sway dramatically over the keys like so many others. Instead he was almost perfectly still. He was looking down at his fingers, completely oblivious to the world around him.

As his song gained strength, I slipped through the doorway to stand inside the room so that I could see him better. I was enamored with the way he brought forth the beautiful notes from the instrument under his fingertips.

So of course, I wasn't paying attention when the music suddenly stopped. The next thing I did notice was his deep emerald green eyes boring into mine.

**Chapter End Notes:**

Follow me on twitter everydaybella89. I do like teasers and stuff. And leave a review, they make me happy and I love to hear from you :-)


	12. The Saltwater Room

**Author's Chapter Notes:**

I am still high from seeing Breaking Dawn Part 1. Was it just great or what?

Anyhoo, I have to be honest, this my favorite chapter; no really, I love it. So, I really hope you do to. As such I won't keep you long, just to say that my betas State of delusion, Batgirl8968 and onlybythenight1 are amazing and Stephine Meyer own everything. I'm just playing with them. See at the bottom, I have an important question to ask.

**Chapter 12**

**The Saltwater Room**

_I opened my eyes last night and saw you in the low light,_

_Walking down by the bay on the shore_

_Staring up at the stars that aren't there anymore…_

_So like an introvert, I drew my over shirt_

_Around my arms and began to shiver violently…_

_When you and I are alone, I've never felt more at home._

_What will it take to make or break this hint of love?_

_Only time, only time_

_When we're apart whatever are you thinking of?_

_So tell me darling, do you wish we'd fall in love?_

_All the time, all the time._

_-Owl City_

**EPOV**

I'd always enjoyed the night. It brought its own kind of solace with it—when you couldn't sleep thit was especially important. My mind was going a hundred miles an hour and there was no way I was going to be able to quiet it anytime soon. Eventually I gave up and wandered out of my room. I wanted to play; my fingers were itching and there wasn't really anything else that could lull my mind.

I crept softly across the dark sitting room, leaving the small piano alone. Emmett was in the other room asleep, and I was feeling sympathetic. If I stayed here, I would undoubtedly wake him up. Besides, I now knew where I could play and, at this time of the night, be guaranteed privacy. There was no need to wake up anyone.

I headed into the hallway, pleased to find it dark and deserted. It had to be at least eleven o'clock, maybe later. Most everyone was tucked safely in their own rooms, leaving me free reign. In the past week, I had learned that you could do a lot of things as long no one noticed you doing them.

In all honesty, the last week had been one of the best of my entire life. Not because I was on my own for the first time in my life, or because I got to play to my hearts content every day, but because I had spent the last five nights with the most beautiful and intelligent woman I had ever met.

Bella was amazing. She was simple and sweet, but she also had a sharp tongue. I supposed she needed it with those friends of hers—they would rag on each other good naturedly quite a lot. She probably learned to dish it out from the two of them. If I had learned one thing, it was that Bella was complicated. She never acted like I expected her to; she usually did the opposite. She was the one person I couldn't figure out. She kept me on toes, always guessing. I loved it.

Getting to know Bella wasn't the only thing that made the last week amazing. I would spend my days in the music room, writing more music than I ever had. It was like a dam broke, and I couldn't keep it all in. I would sit behind that piano and forget time altogether. … I would end up playing all day before Emmett would show up around dinnertime to drag me out of the room.

I learned that he spent most of his days with Bella, Alice, and Rosalie, which didn't surprise me. Rosalie was his type—blond, hot, and leggy. However, unlike most of the bomb-shells he usually went out with, Rosalie was smart and knew how to stand up to him. Emmett was infatuated. He refused to shut up about her. I think he was falling for his girl worse than I was with mine. I had never seen him like this. If anyone else had played this hard to get, he would have given up and moved on. Something about Rosalie kept him interested. Of course, they played anything but hard to get at night. Their PDA was slightly nauseating. Part of me wanted to tell them to get a room.

After making sure I ate for the first time since breakfast, Emmett would guide me towards Bella's suite of rooms. We would end up spending the entire evening there. Bella and I would sit on her couch and talk for hours. I didn't even remember the half of it because I was so caught up in her—her smile, her creamy, white skin, her thick mahogany hair, and her endless chocolate brown eyes. I wanted nothing more than to reach out and hold her hand or stroke cheek. I tried to keep a respectful distance between us; I didn't want to assume anything. By that last evening though, we were only inches apart. Maybe I was being too careful. She hadn't seemed to mind that I was that close.

Unfortunately, Bella had to go to dinner tonight with her mother and Phillip and She hadn't seemed very happy about it either. This also meant that I didn't get to spend the evening with her. Emmett still made me leave the music room around dusk. I didn't know it, but he had gotten Rosalie and Alice to come over to our place. It was nice to get to know them a little bit better. They were Bella's friends, so by getting to know them, I was beginning to unlock the mystery that was Bella.

Rosalie had your usual narcissistic complexes, but she really wasn't that bad. She needed attention a bit too much, but she was witty and sharp and didn't take crap. She was probably too good for Emmett. She would keep him on his toes. I did enjoy Alice, she was tiny and full of energy. I was surprised we got along so well. She was kind of odd in a hyper and bouncy kind of way. There was this other part of her, and I didn't know how to explain it; It was like she was above everybody else, but not in a bad way, more of a "I see more than you do" way. When I think about it like that, that's probably why we get along so well.

That being said, I missed Bella. I had gotten used to seeing her every night. I wanted to be sitting on her couch, not mine. I wanted to see if that ever-decreasing gap between us would have fully closed or not. I wanted to hear her speak and continue trying to unlock that brilliant mind of hers. What I really wanted was to get lost in her eyes. Call it sappy and romantic, but I could. I may have only known her for about a week, but I couldn't stop thinking about her. Even when I was working on my music, she permeated my every thought, bringing life to the notes. To be honest, it scared me little. Surely, I shouldn't be so enthralled already?

Reaching the end of a hall, I gently pushed open a nondescript wooden door. Glancing inside to make sure that there was no one there, I entered and shut the door. In the past week, next to Bella's couch, this room had become my sanctuary. The back wall was glass, letting in the moonlight which was softly illuminating the room. The normal white marble walls were covered with thick red cloth, giving it better acoustics. The moonlight gleamed on the glossy grand piano set on the dais in the middle of the room.

Crossing the room, I reached the piano and sat down. The moon was casting just enough light to see by as I settled my fingers on the keys and began to play. Slowly, as the melody formed beneath my fingers, my mind began to unwind. A simple sweet song came to mind as I again went over the last week. It hadn't been that busy a week, but it had some important moments. I was scared of the things I was feeling for Bella. I enjoyed spending time with her. She was smart, opinionated and painstakingly beautiful. I'd known when I met her, the night of the ball, that I could fall for her. Hell, I have fallen for her. I couldn't call Emmett infatuated when clearly I was.

However, I had just come out of a very bad relationship and I wasn't so sure I was ready for another. I had managed to avoid thinking about Victoria while I was here, but I was going to have to at some point. Bella was nothing like Victoria. Vicky was vain and manipulative, while Bella was gentle, sincere, and slightly insecure. Intellectually, I knew she was different, but it didn't change the fact that I had the wool pulled over my eyes once before.

I sighed, and the melody turned darker under the weight of my morose wonderings. If I could take back the last several years of my life, I would. I had been an idiot for ever trusting Victoria. She was only after one thing—well two: money and sex. I had known this, but I had just decided to ignore it. In a way, everything that had happened was my fault. I had ignored every sign placed in front of me. That laid the blame at my feet.

I was careful not to say any of that out loud. The one time I had, Esme had laid into me about how it was not my fault and how Victoria was a "manipulative, sluttly bitch." It was the only time I had ever heard my mother curse, much less say something bad about another person. If I hadn't been so depressed at the time, I would have laughed—it was so out of character for her. Emmett also routinely got onto me for my blame game. It just wasn't so surprising for him to use those choice words against someone.

Being hurt like that left its scars—one of which was that I couldn't trust myself. I knew Bella wasn't like Victoria. I wasn't sure that Bella even had a mean bone in her body. That didn't mean that I should let down my guard though. It was awful being a crazy introvert sometimes.

I shook my head and shoved all thoughts of Victoria to the back of my mind where I wouldn't have to deal with them. What was I thinking anyway? Bella was a princess; she was way out of my league. Even if she was interested in me there was nothing we could do about it. There had to be rules or something against it. I may have liked her, and she might like me, but it wouldn't do either of us much good. Out fates were sealed, game over.

I didn't want it to be that way. If we had been at school or Central Park, I would have followed after her like a love sick puppy. It wasn't often I met someone who could completely knock me out. I wanted something with her, whatever it was she would give me. Whether it was as her friend, or brother, or lover, I would take it just to be near her. I was screwed. This really wasn't what I had planned when I decided to come here. Of course, I would fall for the princess. It was just my luck.

As my thoughts began to snarl like knotted string, so did the music I was playing. I had been all over the spectrum tonight—light and airy, dark and moody, soft and sweet. As my mind's eyes again filled with Bella, the music again moved with it. At first, I didn't notice anything weird about it—it wasn't unusual for whatever I was playing to shift and change with what I was thinking about. I don't know how long I sat there playing and imagining Bella's face, smile, laugh, and eyes. At some point, part of me resurfaced above the hazy, Bella induced fog to notice what I was playing.

I yanked my fingers away from the keys like I had been shocked. The sudden silence was a bit jarring as the last disjointed notes echoed out into silence. Gently, like approaching a wild animal, I reached out and again, placed my fingers on the keys. Taking a deep breath, I pressed the keys to bring forth the opening notes to the incomplete song that I had been tinkering with for years. At first, it seemed that I had imagined the more complete sound, but within thirty seconds, it was back. Some of the gaps, which had previously been so frustratingly silent, were filled with a sweet, light melody. I played through what I had added once before pulling away from the paino again.

For over ten years this piece had been haunting me, and not once had I been able to add to it. Yet while I had been sitting here daydreaming about the girl I was falling for, I had been able to add at least fifteen notes—enough to give it some much needed body. It wasn't complete by any means. It still had large gaps, but it was finally there—I had it! The secret to unlocking my haunting song was Bella.

It was ridiculous. A woman I had just met, who was so far above me in social terms that it was like living in a Victorian novel, had already become something important to me—important enough for me to fill the missing parts of my song with music about her. I hung my head and buried it in my hands, pressing my fingers to eyes until I could see bright spots behind them. I groaned. I guess there was no hiding it now. Part of me was secretly thrilled that just the thought of her was enough to inspire my music. The other part of me felt my stomach drop. What the hell did this mean? The song had been moving though my head since I was thirteen, long before I met Bella.

Some might call it romantic. I suppose I could see their point—the broody pianist has been writing a song since he was a young teen, but he just can't seem to finish it. Then he meets a princess, and it's his great love for her that allows him to turn that into the greatest piece of his life. Forbidden love, royal intrigue, maybe a cover with Fabio on it, what else did it need? This was real life however, not a Harlequin romance. It didn't make any sense. I didn't believe in predestination or any of that nonsense. I believed in the here and now. There was no way that Bella could be the only key to unlocking the song.

Maybe this was all coincidence. I suppose it could have been anyone who I just happened to like. It could have been any blond haired blue-eyed woman who happened to cross my path. The thing was, a red haired green-eyed one had done just that and she had never enlisted one note from me. That probably should have been my first warning. Still, the question remained, why Bella and why now?

I sighed and stretched my fingers, popping the knuckles before placing them back on the keys. As long as I was throwing my heart away, I might as well do it thoroughly. I softly began playing and let my mind wander again, although this time I was slightly more methodical about it; I paid attention to the music as well as to my own musings.

It worked better than even I thought it would. It was surprisingly easy, perhaps too easy, to write about Bella. Her laugh alone filled a three stanza break, her sweet soprano voice another. I closed my eyes and lost myself in my duel obsessions. Bella's smile could fill pages of music notation—never mind her endless brown eyes. Her gentle spirit and quiet manor all found themselves folded into the layers of music. Occasionally, I would backtrack; and play part of it over again tweaking a note here or there, fixing just the minor imperfections.

Unfortunately, there was still something missing. An untrained ear wouldn't have picked it up perhaps, but to me there was clearly something still wrong. Some sense of time or place was yet to be found. It was good, probably one of the best I had ever written, but there was no story or over arching theme. I didn't even know what it was—it could have been a grand symphony or a simple love song. There was still something missing, and again, I couldn't find the missing piece. I suppose it was back to the drawing board. It wasn't anything new with this piece. I should have been used to it by now.

I sighed and played through it one last time before opening my eyes. To my surprise, staring back at me were the same brown pools I had just been dreaming about. It seemed that while I was caught up in my music, Bella had slipped silently into the room. She was standing by the door bathed in the moonlight. Her skin was bright and luminous and her dark hair was twisted into thick braids. Her eyes widened when she met mine knowing that she had been caught watching. I noticed, even in the dim light, that they were rimmed red and puffy—she had been crying. Her eyes held hidden anguish and something else I couldn't quite understand, betrayal maybe? I felt a part of my heart break. Someone as beautiful, warm, and caring as Bella shouldn't be crying. There was just something wrong about that picture.

I smiled gently to show her that I wasn't upset she had been watching me. I didn't like to think that I may have made her cry. I suspected that she had been crying before she came in here, but I wanted to make sure. She smiled back softly, and I knew that whatever was upsetting her, I wasn't the cause. I motioned for her to come over and join me. Slowly she crossed the room and sat down next to me on the piano bench.

"I'm sorry," she said softly, staring at the piano keys, which I had begun to randomly play. "I didn't mean to disturb you or anything. I heard you out in the hallway and couldn't resist."

I shrugged. "It's alright, I don't mind. Well, usually I do, but for you, I'll make an exception."

"Thank you." She bit her lip and continued to watch me as I plucked notes at random. I wanted to ask her what was wrong, but I didn't want her to think I was prying. I realized however, that this was the first time she had heard me play. It seemed like a good place to start.

"Did you like it?" I asked, wishing she would look up at me.

"Hum, oh." She did look at me finally. Her wide brown eyes were still hiding something, but there was a spark of excitement in them now as well. She grinned and continued, "It was amazing, Edward. It's the best I have ever heard. Did you write it?"

I nodded, secretly quite pleased that she had enjoyed it. "It's not finished yet, but I'm glad you liked it."

"It's not finished yet!" she exclaimed, shocked. "But it's prefect."

"To you maybe," I told her, trying not to sound condescending. ",but to me there's nothing holding the notes together. They're just notes. To me, it's a little jarring. It's beautiful, yes, but it doesn't mean anything. Do you understand what I'm saying?"

She pursed her lips and shook her head. I sighed and nodded, deciding to show her what I meant. I began playing the song she had unknowingly inspired. I explained to her how I thought the main thrust of the song was weak and thready, and how the bridge didn't connect to anything. She would nod when I explained something and watched my fingers as they flew across the keys. Occasionally she would ask me to repeat a section while she listened for what I was trying to explain. She really was attempting to understand what I was doing by the intentional way she was following my actions.

I was enthralled with the way she was unraveling my secrets as she watched me. By the time I was finished playing, I was almost gasping for air. I wasn't sure she was really grasping it, but the excitement that I saw on her face was almost blinding.

"I think I get what you're saying." She looked up at me, and I was glad to see the pain had left her eyes momentarily. "There's no real emotion at the moment. It's just a random string of notes that just happen to go together."

I couldn't resisting grinning an earth shattering smile down at her. "Exactly."

She smiled back at me, her eyes crinkling at the edges. I liked that much better than the red rims they'd had earlier. "Well, it's still beautiful and it can only get better when you finish it. Will you let me know when its finished?" she asked.

I nodded, pleased to hear that she was interested.

"What inspires you to write?" she asked suddenly. She had turned back to the piano, studying my hands as they continued to play. She had no idea what a loaded question she had just asked. I didn't want to lie to her, but I didn't want to scare her either. What a mess.

"Part of it, um, I've been toying with since I was ten." _Yeah, that definitely doesn't make me sound like a lunatic_. "The other part, I only just wrote."

She glanced up at me from under her dark curtain hair. I couldn't read the look, but I could tell that she wasn't happy about my answer. "And what made you write the most recent part? There had to be something, the notes don't just pop out of thin air, do they?"

I tried not to groan. She wasn't going to take my evasive answers. I really wasn't surprised. Bella may have been quiet and shy, but that didn't mean that she wasn't stubborn. If she wanted an answer to something, she wasn't going to stop till she got it. "You." I sighed. "I was thinking about you when I wrote that music."

She was silent for a moment after my confession. I thought I had offended her and was trying to think up a way to apologize when she let out what sounded like a whimper. She wrapped an arm around her middle, hugging herself like she was about to fall apart. With her other hand, she reached up to her face and tried to hastily wipe away her flowing tears. She was crying? Why was she crying? I had been trying to keep her from crying, but instead it had seemed I had brought it on myself.

"No, Bella, I'm sorry," I said. I wanted to comfort her somehow but my experience with crying women was lacking. Unsure of what to do, I did what came naturally—I gently swept her dark hair away from the side her face and brushed away her tears with clumsy fingers. "I'm sorry, Bella. I didn't mean to make you cry. I was just trying to tell the truth."

She shook her head, but leaned into my fingers. I carefully stretched my fingers out and cupped her pale, smooth cheek in my palm. She looked up with her big brown eyes full of agony and unshed tears. "It's not you," she said, brokenly. "It's just been a really long night. Hearing that you wrote that for me made me feel, well, cherished, which was something I haven't felt all night. I don't know why I'm crying. I'm sorry."

I removed my hand from her cheek and used that arm to pull her to my side. Her head was just the right height to nestle into my shoulder. Her tears quickly soaked through my shirt, not that I minded in the least. Bella fit against my side like we were two puzzle pieces. I ran my fingers through her hair, its texture like silk on my fingertips. I was burning to know what had brought her to tears in the first place, but I let her cry it out first. Something told me that that story wasn't pretty.

She had said it had been a long night. I know she had had dinner tonight with her mother, step-father, and a couple others. She didn't get along with Phillip, but I wasn't sure why. It wasn't a subject she brought up, and the one time I had, she been slightly hostile about it. I didn't know if he had said anything to her. However, I wouldn't have been surprised by it. I did know that it was breaking my heart to watch her fall apart in my arms. I wrapped them tighter around her and hoped that it helped.

Eventually her sobs quieted to just sniffles. Hesitantly, she raised her head from my shoulder. She didn't pull away from me, but instead stayed in my arms. However, she didn't look me in the eyes. "I'm sorry," she muttered. "I think I ruined your shirt."

I merely shrugged. "It's all right. I don't mind." I pushed hair out of her face, exposing her wet cheeks and puffy eyes. "Do you want to talk about it? It might make you feel better."

Her eyes met mine for a moment. It looked like the pain and grief was hidden away for a minute and she seemed to be looking for something in mine. Whatever it was, she must have found it, because she nodded and leaned back into my shoulder.

Haltingly, the story came out. Just as I had suspected, Phillip had said something. He had made the accusation that I was just using Bella to gain favor and that Bella was stupid and naïve to be buying it. As she spoke, I felt conflicting emotions. Part of me was upset that this had affected her so. I had only ever seen strong, self-assured Bella. The young crying girl in my arms was someone I suspected she didn't let many people see.

The other part of me was pissed. What the hell was that idiot doing saying something like that! I wasn't mad for myself, but for Bella. Saying that was uncalled for. I wanted nothing less than to beat him to a bloody pulp for hurting her. I suddenly realized that Jasper, who was almost always with Bella, was nowhere to be seen, and I hoped he was doing that exact thing. It was a long shot, but a man could hope.

"You know I'm not doing that right? I don't care about titles or fancy acceptance."

Her eyes met mine again and she nodded. "I know; I never believed that. That's just not you," she told me, her voice sounding stronger. "I mean, I was mad at him for saying that about you, but I never believed him. That wasn't what hurt really. He could say whatever he wanted about me because I don't like him either. What hurt was that my mother was in the room and she didn't even stand up for me. She just let him go on and on until I left the room. Why didn't she say anything? Phil's her husband. She could have done something."

She was sniffing and fighting tears again by the time she finished. I suddenly realized that I had completely misinterpreted her tears. What Phillip had said had made her mad perhaps, but not left her really hurting. Renee's silence, however, had hurt her more than Phillip's words. She was her mother after all. She should have protected her daughter, not let her husband run her over.

"Your mother loves you," I told her. I did believe that; I had watched Renee and Bella together. It wasn't a normal mother and daughter relationship, but some of it was still there. "I'm just not sure she knows how to show it."

Bella surprised me again by placing her head on my shoulder and cuddling into my side. I found myself enveloped her sweet freesia and strawberry scent. I suddenly felt a strong feeling of home. I couldn't explain it. I just felt comfortable, peaceful, and at home. I couldn't remember that last time I had felt this way.

"She hasn't always been this way," Bella muttered against my chest. "She used to be really fun. I think that's why my dad fell in love with her. She used to play the most awesome pranks during Court. Grand-père used to think they were funny—Grand-mère not so much. It all changed when she got involved with Phil though."

"How did the two of them end up together?" It hadn't made much sense to me. They were severely opposite.

Bella sighed and tried to move closer to me, as if she was looking for comfort. I tightened my arms as much as I thought I could without hurting her. "Phil is from Edelweiss; he's related to the Denali's distantly. He and Renee actually grew up together. Phil's mother had him illegitimately and Grand-père allowed her to live in the Palace. He never really liked Phil, even when he was growing up, but he didn't feel right about tossing him and his mother out.

"'When Renee was seventeen, a new American ambassador came to court and he brought his son with him. Charlie was twenty, and he and Renee fell in love. They knew they had no chance of being together, so they ran away. They went back to his home town in Washington State."

"Where?" We had spent a lot of vacations in Northern Washington, and I wondered if we had ever been near the place.

"Forks. You've probably never heard of it."

I grinned. "My parent's cabin is ten miles north of Forks. We used to go to the grocery store there."

She smiled up at me, momentarily forgetting the pain of her story. "I loved Forks. Charlie was the Chief of Police there when I was a kid.

"Anyway they got married, and for a while, a very short while, they were happy. But it didn't take long until reality set in. They were from two different worlds. A year later Renee came back here and seven months after that there was me.

"I think Renee was alright for a while. Grand-père seemed to think she was. He's whom I learned all this from. From the time I was five, I remember Phil being around Renee all the time. He didn't really affect her much then, and she was still herself. I think she was hoping I would grow to see Phil as a father. But I had a father—I didn't need him. Besides, even then, I didn't really like him. There was something off about him.

"When I was nine my grand-mère died. It devastated Grand-père and he handed over the throne to Renee. That's when the change started. Renee was in over her head, and Phil stepped in. It's almost like he's brainwashed her or something. She's just not the same anymore. She was never really a mother, but she was still my mom. I really miss her."

She ran her fingers under her eyes to catch the new tears gathering there. These were not so hard; they were gentle and silent. I knew from experience that this kind hurt more because these weren't tears of anguish or misery, but of acceptance. I couldn't do anything but hold her and do what little I could to comfort her.

After a few moments, she continued, "They got married when I was sixteen, after my dad and grand-père passed away. Grand-père all but refused to let them marry while he was alive. Phil was granted the title "King Consort" two years later. By then, I was almost eighteen and had had enough. I confronted him about how I thought he was taking advantage of Renee. He told me that I was no good, spoiled child of a commoner. By that point, I was done. I packed my bags and left for Bern within the week. I was already headed there, but I left a month and half early. My security detail was not happy with me."

A pang of sympathy went through me. Bella had been through a lot. She had been raised in an environment where she was an oddity—the illegitimate daughter of a flighty princess. On top of that, she had been a pawn in power hungry men's games. Her life had never been her own. Her mother didn't know how to be a mother and her father lived thousand miles away and died when she was a teenager. The only other family member she seemed to remember with any kind of fondness was her grandfather. The entire idea was foreign to me. I was used to being surrounded by a family who loved and supported me. My admiration for Bella grew more as she told me her story. She was amazing. Anyone else would have given up or become bitter a long time ago, but she kept up her smile and continued to fight for her mother.

"You're amazing," I told her, my voice full of awe. She really was in my eyes. I couldn't imagine growing up here, much less in the high position she was in.

"Why?" she asked looking up at me with her beautiful vibrant eyes glowing with curiosity and wonder. I much preferred that look to the pain that had haunted them most of the night.

"You have no reason to be the way you are." I leaned in, resting my forehead against hers. I was losing myself in her eyes and the soft warmth of her skin. Something told me to pull back before things went too far, but I decided to ignore it. "You have every reason to be angry and bitter, but you're not. Anyone else would have succumbed to the same level as those surrounding you. You would have used or been used. Instead, you're a brave, independent woman who stood by those she loved. You're a little bit of a martyr you know?"

She blushed and bit her lip. Even in the dim moonlight I could tell that she was both pleased and embarrassed by my statement. Suddenly the air around us seemed charged with a new kind of energy. I hadn't realized just how close we were; She was hugging my side and I could feel the heat from her body seep into mine. Our foreheads were pressed together and our noses just skimmed each other's. Every unsteady breath that I took in was saturated with her sweet floral sent. I wanted nothing more than to press my lips against hers and kiss her. That wouldn't be right, however. She was emotional and hurting, and I couldn't take advantage of her like that. Still, I couldn't pull away from her either.

Without even thinking about it, I found myself leaning in closer. I screamed at myself to stop, but I didn't. Like a moth to a flame, I only wanted to be closer to her. She didn't pull away either—if anything, she inched closer as well. Her lips parted and her eyes dilated. We were centimeters apart, out breaths mingling. This was it. I think we both knew that if we allowed this to happen there would be no turning back.

Very gently and very softly, and against my better judgment, I brushed my lips against hers. Immediately I knew that it was over, that there was no fighting this. It was chaste and sweet, and absolutely prefect. Her lips pressed a little bit more urgently against mine. I brought my hand up to cradle her cheek, angling her face to meet mine and I felt her hands rest over my heart. The moment couldn't have been more perfect if it had been scripted.

We pulled away when we both needed to breath, but remained touching. I rested my forehead against hers as I struggled to come to terms with what had just happened. There was no way this could work; we were from different worlds. Her mother had tried this and failed. Bella wasn't her mother, however. Bella was strong and realistic. I still knew I was setting myself up for a fall, but I didn't care. I would gladly take it if I got to be with Bella.

I studied her beautiful face as she caught her breath. Her eyes were closed and her lips turned up in half of a smile. Her pale skin gleamed in the moonlight, giving her an ethereal glow. She slowly opened her eyes, revealing the deep chocolate brown eyes that simmered with emotion.

"Bella." I breathed, struggling to find words for what I felt. There was music for it, but not words. "I didn't mean to take advantage. I probably shouldn't have done that."

"Shh." Bella hushed me by placing a finger over my lips. "I didn't mind. I've wanted you to do that all week. I don't know what this is, Edward, but I don't care. I want to be with you—whatever it takes, but I can't promise it will be easy. You should know that. I'm not without enemies, and if they were to find out about you and me, they would try to use you against me. Technically, there aren't rules against this sort of thing, but it is frowned upon. We wouldn't be able to be together openly, at least not for a while. I wouldn't blame you if you didn't want to do it."

"Whatever it takes," I answered her without a moment's hesitation. I didn't need time; I knew I wanted Bella, and the opinion of a few old men weren't going to keep us apart.

I don't know how long we stayed there simply holding each other and kissing occasionally. Eventually her eyelids began to drop. Sleep was beginning to overtake her and myself.

I walked her to her room in silence; the dark of the deep of night hiding us from prying eyes. Our fingers tangled together, unwilling to let go until we had no other choice. Bella stopped after opening door. Turning to me, she said, "I should warn you, you weren't the only person to try to kiss me tonight."

I saw red. I wanted nothing more than to knock the lights out whoever had tried before I did. "His name is Jacob Black. He's a lord from Monaco. He's nice enough, but I don't feel for him the way I do about you. I just wanted to let you know."

"He didn't really kiss you, did he?"

She grinned. "No, just tried. Good night, Edward."

"Good night, Bella." I leaned and kissed her once more before pulling away. "Sweet dreams."

Smiling gently, she disappeared behind the shut door. I knew we still had a long way to go but I couldn't resist the contented feeling that spread through my limbs. I had a feeling that things would not always be so easy; Bella had said she had enemies, and I was going to have to tell her about Victoria at some point. It seemed that I was not the only one chasing after her. We still had hurdles to cross, but for the moment I just didn't care. I was with the girl of my dreams and nothing could change that.

**Chapter End Notes:**

See what I mean? Aren't they great?

Okay, so I had a reviewer suggest this, and I wanted to get your opinion. She said that I should start a forum thread on the Twilighted Forums for this story. My question is, if I did would you visit it? I like the idea, but I think if I started it and no one came I would get depressed. LOL So review and let me know your thoughts on that and the chapter.

Till next time!


	13. Fallin In

**AN:** Um, first I'd like to say I am so sorry it has taken me so long to update and if your still with me then I truely appercate it. From the bottom of my heart. (Am I laying it on to thick yet.) I could make a lot of excouses, like the holidays and then the Age of Edward contest and then work, but I'm not going to. I'm just going to say thank you to my beta's, State of delusion, Batgirl8968 and onlybythenight for sticking with me. You guys are the best.

**Chapter 13**

**Falling In**

_Won't be easy, have my doubts to, _

_But it's over without you I'm just lost, incomplete,_

_Yeah you feel like home, home to me._

_Every time I see your face,_

_My heart takes off in a high speed chase,_

_Now don't be scared, it's only love_

_That we're falling in._

_-Lifehouse_

**BPOV**

The polished floor of the ballroom gleamed, not with the light from the dimmed chandelier, but from the setting sun outside. Although I couldn't see it at the moment as the window didn't face west, I knew it was a large orange ball as it set behind the mountains. It was the prefect sun for a Halloween night.

Compared to the way the ballroom had looked two weeks ago, it was unrecognizable tonight. For one, it was much darker and the shadows along the corners were a deep black. The polished, fancy atmosphere was gone, replaced by fake cobwebs and steaming cauldrons. A spooky air permeated the room.

Halloween wasn't a very European holiday, but I celebrated it once with my dad and I had been hooked ever since. I wasn't sure what Renee had expected when she asked me to help plan this, but I was happy with the results. It had been a lot of fun as well. Although with the week I had just had, I wasn't sure anything could get me down.

It had all started after that awful dinner when I stumbled upon Edward in the music room. He had been playing the most beautiful song I had ever heard, even though he told me it wasn't finished. Afterward we had sat behind the piano and talked for hours. I had ended up spilling out my pathetic life story to him while bawling my eyes out. Throughout the whole thing Edward had merely held me and let me ruin his shirt. I had never felt safer or more comforted my whole life. I could have stayed there forever.

I don't remember how it happened. One moment it seemed like I was crying into his shirt and the next we were kissing. His thin lips were against mine and moving in a rhythm that at once seemed new and exciting, and yet as natural as breathing. It was better than any other kiss I had ever experienced.

Edward thought that he was taking advantage of me because of my emotional state. I had merely told him that what I had wanted more than anything in the last week was that kiss. I would have been lying if I said I wasn't scared. History was repeating itself with Edward and I. The question was—was I stronger than my mother if it came down to it? Would I be able to follow my heart in order to get everything I ever wanted? I honestly didn't have an answer. At the moment, I really didn't care. I was trying to enjoy the now, not that it was hard. Edward and I spent every moment we could together and I couldn't be happier.

I was supervising the decorating crew while Edward was getting ready for the party. I hadn't seen him since this morning and I missed him. I wouldn't even get to really be with him tonight since we had decided to keep our romantic relationship hidden for now. We couldn't do anything more than hold hands and probably not even that. Maybe I could steal a couple minutes before the party.

Clearing my head, I refocused my attention on the men and women hurrying about putting the finishing touches on the decorations. It looked amazing in here, dark and spooky. I glanced around for Rosalie and Alice, but didn't see them anywhere. They had both disappeared about an hour ago. Jasper was still standing by the door, but the other two were absent. I was going to be upset if Rose was off with Emmett when I hadn't seen Edward all day.

Shrugging, I moved to help a man hang cobwebs when I heard someone calling from the door. "Bella!" Spinning, I saw Renee entering the room. I was glad to see her Phil-less for once. Since that dinner, I had managed to keep from having to see him. I didn't know how much longer my luck would last, but I would take whatever I could get.

Crossing the room, I went to stand by my mother who was surveying the transformed ballroom. She grinned when I made it over to her, and for a moment, I could see the woman she used to be. "Bella, this is great. I knew you would know just what this needed."

"Thanks." I grinned. I was glad she asked me to help with something. It may not have been anything major, but I had given up on that. As long as Phil was around that would never happen.

Renee continued to study the groups working on the room and didn't turn her gaze back on me for several minutes. She was oddly quiet as well. I immediately began to wonder if something was wrong. When she did turn to back to me I noticed that she looked tired—no, exhausted—was a better word. She really had me worried. "Are you alright, Mom?" I asked.

"Hum?" She hadn't noticed that I asked her a question. "Oh yes, of course. I'm just tired from helping you plan all this and the upcoming holidays. I just need a good night's sleep."

I pursed my lips and nodded. I could understand that. I should really stop jumping to conclusions. "As long as you're sure. Maybe you should turn in early tonight."

She nodded. "You are probably right. You have fun. I just came to see if you needed anything. It doesn't look like you do though. You look very cute as well."

I blushed. Alice had once again come through with the costumes. I swear she was a goddess. Somehow she had convinced Rose and I to go as fairies and had spent months on the costumes. I had been skeptical at first but she had come through. She had created a fall sprite costume for me. The dress was the color of the forest floor, mottled greens and browns. The edging was jagged just above my knees. A soft pair of slippers and a wreath of fall flowers finished the outfit.

The most impressive part was the wings. They were made of some kind of light, translucent material that was stretched over a wing shaped frame. They were then painted green and brown and dusted with "fairy dust" which sparkled as the light hit it. I hadn't been expecting to enjoy this costume so much, as fairies weren't really my thing. I should have known better than to not trust Alice, she had never let me down. Her costume and Rose's looked just as wonderful, playing to each of their strengths.

"Um, thanks," I told Renee. "You should really thank Alice though. It was her idea and she designed them."

Renee nodded. "I had noticed. I'll see you later alright, sweetheart?"

As she turned away, I stopped her. "Are you sure you're alright, Mom?" I had been gripped by the sudden urge to make sure that nothing was really wrong. I wasn't buying that she was just tired. There was a hopeless look on her face that made me uneasy.

"I'm fine. Love you, Bella." She placed a smile on her face and left.

"Love you too," I said softly. I didn't know what to do about her anymore. She was my mother, but what had happened over dinner last week had shaken me.

I had always known what a villain Phil was. He had only pissed me off by going after Edward. It made me mad and I felt like I needed to defend Edward, but it didn't hurt my feelings. As I had explained to Edward, what had really hurt was my mother's silence—not one word in my defense. I would have at least hoped that she would have told Phil to stop, that enough was enough. Instead she had stared at her plate and ignored us completely. By the time I made it to Edward's piano bench, I had been reduced to tears.

He was great about it. He didn't say anything, just held me and let me cry.

I didn't know what to do anymore. It seemed like everything was out of my grasp, like everything was out of control. I couldn't stop Phil, short of killing him, and that didn't seem like such a good idea. I sighed and fought my urge to bury my head in my hands.

I felt him join me before he spoke. "Are you alright?" Jasper asked softly.

I nodded. "I'm just trying to process a few things. It's not always easy. You haven't learned anything new about Phil's plans have you?"

Jasper's gray eyes darkened, narrowing down to slits. His eyebrows drew together and his lips set into a hard line. Jasper's protective side had come out in a massive way over the last week. He'd seen the effect Phil's words and Renee's silence had had on me. He'd also been witness to my moment with Jacob. Jasper was worried about me. He thought I was taking on too much and he'd told me so. I knew he was glad that I had grown closer to Edward rather than Jacob. He thought Jacob was too close to Phil, whom he now loathed with a vengeance. Jasper wanted to keep me safe from the manipulations of others and he had just realized how hard that was going to be.

"I haven't been able to find anything yet, but I will." Jasper's voice was steely as he delivered his promise with the surety of a general assuring his troops that they would win the battle. "His security is very good and no one is talking, but someone will eventually. It will just take time."

I shrugged. I had expected as much. Phil wasn't one to share, especially his plans to gain more power. He would have known better than to tell someone who couldn't keep his mouth shut. "Just don't get in trouble, Jasper. Please remember to be careful."

He smirked and his gray eyes lightened. "Always. Besides, Alice would never forgive me if I got myself in trouble."

"No, she wouldn't." I giggled, glad he had lightened the atmosphere around us. Between Phil and Renee I had enough to worry about and tonight was supposed to be fun. I wanted to have a good time and not be worrying about things that were completely out of my control. It wouldn't do me any good. I might as well enjoy my night out with Edward—even if I had to be careful about how much affection we showed.

Speaking of—where was everyone? Alice and Rose had disappeared and Edward and Emmett weren't here yet either. "Louis," I called. One of the men standing by the door turned to face me, giving me his full attention. "Could you please go collect Monsieur Cullen and Monsieur McCarty and escort them here please?"

"Yes, Your Majesty," he answered before bowing and walking down the hall. _Now to just find my ladies-in-waiting._

Fortunately one of them found me. "Bella!" Alice skipped into the room, wearing a bright blue and green fairy costume, followed by a taller, brown haired gypsy.

"Where have you been?" I asked as they approached. Alice's dark blue eyes were sparkling with happiness, and I couldn't stay upset with her for long.

"Oh, never mind that." She waved her hand dismissively. "I figured out why we need to spend the Christmas holidays at Crepuseule where there is more room—Cynthia."

Cynthia, the gypsy, smiled and followed her sister's lead. "You see, My Lady, our parents have decided to spend Christmas here at the Palace. I'm sure you can understand why I find that, well, awful."

She grinned, and I laughed. Cynthia reminded me of Alice, and they made quite a pair. They were very close, even though they were five years apart in age. It had been hard on Alice being away from her sister while we were in Bern. I wanted to make that up to her. "So what can I do to help?"

"Well, Alice mentioned that you might have room with your group over Christmas. I don't mean to impose, Princess Bella, but Christmas with my sister would be wonderful." Alice bounced on her tiptoes and looked at me beseechingly. She was begging me with her eyes to grant Cynthia's request. When Cynthia started to do the same there was no saying no. Not that I would have anyway.

"Of course you can come. We'd love to have you." I smiled and turned to Alice. "That still doesn't explain why we need the Crépuscule house. We'd still be better off in Bois de Doeur. It would be a little tight but it would be fine."

"Oh." Alice grinned and turned toward the doorway. "They'll be coming in at any moment. Yes, right about now."

Three seconds after the words were out of her mouth, Louis guided Edward, Emmett, and Rosalie into the ballroom. Rosalie and Emmett were arm and arm and quite a striking couple, what with her in a skimpy fairy outfit and he in his, well, I was pretty sure it was a magician costume. Really, it looked like a wizard out of a Harry Potter movie. Long billowing robes of the brightest scarlet I think I had ever seen. He looked absurd and, from the grin he had stretched across his face, he knew it. Goofy Emmett and picturesque Rosalie made quite a pair.

As absurd as Emmett looked, it was Edward that had me in a fit of giggles. The dark suit itself was fairly ordinary. Somehow his wild bronze hair had been slicked back so that it lay back flat on his head and I was a little disappointed to see it that way. I'd discovered that I rather enjoyed running my hands through his unruly locks. The real give away to his costume was the black cape with a red lining and a large collar. He was clearly Count Dracula.

His pale checks were flooded with red as I doubled over laughing. It was nice to have a boyfriend who blushed almost as much as I did. Boyfriend? Was that the right word? I didn't know if it was, but I did know I liked the sound of it. I managed to compose myself as they joined us. Edward came to my side, still blushing, but a beautiful grin now graced his features. "A vampire, huh?" I teased. "Sexy."

"Yes, well." He sighed, still wearing that earsplitting smile. "It was Emmett's idea. Rosalie wanted to paint my lips red."

Emmett laughed, and Rose shrugged. "I thought it would make your lips look bloody. God knows you've got the skin for it."

"Yeah, I tried to get him to wear fangs," Emmett announced, seemingly unable to resist teasing his best friend when everyone else was. "Eddie told me they were children's toys and that they would make kissing harder."

"I didn't say that," Edward hissed at him. I was sure that both our faces were beet red this time, and our friends laughed uproariously at us. _"With friends like ours who needed enemies,_" I mused.

"Okay, so what were you, Alice, and Cynthia talking about before we showed up?" Rose asked after the commotion settled and Edward and I returned to our normal pallor.

"Our holiday plans," Alice told her. "Cynthia is going to come with us."

"And she was going to tell us why we needed the Crépuscule house," I added. "Even though we still have room."

Alice looked at me dramatically. It seemed I had offended her. I had no idea why. "Bella, I thought I answered that already."

"No, you didn't." I was a little surprised to feel Edward slip his hand inside mine and I stumbled in my words for a moment. Not that I minded in the least.

It probably wasn't the best idea, as we were trying to be discrete, but no one was here yet so I indulged the feeling of his long fingers encasing mine. "All you did was tell me that they were about to walk into the room."

Alice rolled her eyes in a long-suffering way. "Duh, Bella. God you're thick sometimes."

I snorted. I wished she would stop being so cryptic. It was rather annoying. However, the sensation of Edward's thumb rubbing the back of my hand was the last link I needed to understand what Alice wanted. "Edward," I asked, turning to face him, but keeping our fingers intertwined. "What are your and Emmett's plans for the Christmas holidays?"

His green eyes narrowed as he thought. I was certain that he was trying to unravel what the previous conversion had been about. "I haven't made any plans," he finally said. "I didn't really know what was expected."

I nodded. "You have one of two choices. You could go back to New York if you wanted, or you could stay at the Palace. However, I have a third option. We're going to a townhouse my family owns. There's room if you and Emmett want to join us."

Edward's eyes widened. He looked a little worried. Why would he be worried? "That's not against the rules or something? Your, whatever I am, staying with you away from the Palace?"

Rose and Emmett snickered. "Planning something Eddie boy?" Emmett wiggled his eyebrows comically. Edward groaned, and I felt my cheeks flush again, not that I was necessarily adverse to "anything" happening.

"I can do whatever the hell I like," I told Emmett before turning back to Edward. "And no, I am allowed to invite anyone I want to stay with me. So what do you say, care to join?"

"It would be my honor." Edward grinned.

"Emmett?"

"Hell, yeah!" he boomed. "Whaddya say, Rosie?"

"Oh joy," she deadpanned, although the grin on her face gave her away.

"Crepuseule it is then." I laughed. I hadn't realized until then that I was dreading spending two weeks without Edward. Now it looked like that problem was fixed anyway. For the first time, I was truly excited about Christmas. The possibilities were endless. I suppressed a grin to keep from giving away my glee.

"Oh, Edward, Emmett." Alice pointed to her sister who stood next to her. "This is my sister…"

"Cynthia," Edward finished. Alice pouted, while he and Cynthia laughed.

"We met the night of the fall ball, Sissie," Cynthia told her sister. "I knew him before any of you did."

Edward leaned down, his lips just brushing my ear sending shivers down my spine, as he whispered, "You should thank her. Cynthia is the one who convinced me to find you that night."

"Alice, Rose, can you handle things here for a few moments?" I asked, suddenly breathless.

"Sure," Rosalie answered. "But the guests should be arriving at any moment so don't be gone too long."

I nodded, not that I was really listening, and pulled Edward toward the hallway. I felt more than saw Jasper following us. Without looking behind me I said, "Stay, Jasper. I'm not going far."

Dragging Edward down the hallway, I pulled him toward the niche Rose and I had hidden in during the ball. As soon as I was sure we were safely hidden from sight, I pulled Edward's lips toward mine. He was shocked for just a moment before winding his arms around my waist and pulling me closer. This was what I had been missing all day. There was just something so perfect about being in his arms, our lips moving in prefect synch with each other. It was too much, not enough, and perfect all at the same time. Kissing Edward always left me breathless.

I don't know how long we had been standing there before Edward pulled away, resting his forehead against mine. His hands settled against the small of my back anchoring us together in this small stolen moment. He grinned as he panted, his beautiful green eyes wide and sparkling. "Well, hello to you too, Bella."

"Hi." I giggled and wrapped my arms around his neck. "I missed you today."

He hummed, closed his eyes, and nestled his forehead closer to mine. A gentle smile graced his face. I felt my heart clench at the peaceful expression. I wanted nothing more in that moment than to stay in this little bubble forever. "I think I like hearing you say that far more than I should."

I sighed. Edward was forever worrying about our different stations in life. I couldn't get it through to him that it didn't matter to me. The only reason I wanted to keep this a secret was to keep it from my mother and Phil. It wouldn't do any good for them to find out too soon. "Stop it, Edward. I mean it. I know nothing about this situation is perfect, but dwelling on it isn't going to help anything."

His eyes opened and they were clouded with insecurity. "I'm sorry," he said. "I don't mean to dwell. I really don't. I just can't help it. I've been hurt by relationships before, Bella. Not that long ago, either. It's hard to not think about it."

I didn't like the anguish that had suddenly overtaken him. I gently traced the planes of his face trying to ease the hurt. "I'm sorry."

"It's not your fault." He smiled. "I'll get over it."

"Okay, here's the deal," I told him. "For just tonight, can we please forget about all of this? Forget I'm a princess and that our pasts aren't perfect. Let's just have some fun together."

"All right." Edward took a deep breath and most of the tension left him. "I'll do my best."

The next several hours passed in a blur. Edward never left my side—although there was a certain level of decorum we had to keep. We didn't hold hands or even touch at all. He walked as close to my side as he felt he could without raising suspicion. My fingers itched to reach out and feel his longer ones wrap around mine. However, it just wasn't safe—for either of us.

By now the party was in full swing. The dark lighting created a spooky, creepy atmosphere. Everyone seemed to be having a good time. Edward and I wandered through the crowd while I played the proper hostess. It wasn't near as bad as I thought it would be. As long as I stayed away from Tanya and Irena as much as I could, a fact for which Edward was incredibly thankful, we were fine.

Throughout most of the night we hadn't seen much of our friends. Jasper was following us so Alice had wandered off, and Rosalie and Emmett were together enjoying the party. Jacob was supposed to be here, but I hadn't seen him yet.

To be honest, I didn't know whether I wanted to see him. I didn't know how I felt about his advances. Obviously, I was with Edward and I had no intentions of dating two men. That was Tanya's realm, not mine. Still, part of me didn't mind having him just as a friend. I had teased Edward with Jacob, that night he walked me to my room, just to get a rise out of him. The few times I had run into Jacob since had been awkward and strained. How did you come back from almost kissing when you hadn't invited it? There was a still something going on under the surface here I just couldn't put my finger on. It was starting to drive me nuts.

"Edward, Bella!" A large booming voice called over the din. Emmett and Rosalie were standing on the edge of the crowd trying to get our attention. Thank God for Emmett's loud voice, otherwise we might never have heard them.

Grabbing Edward's arm, just to keep us from getting separated, I pulled him toward our friends. I had enough playing hostess for a while.

"Here," Rose said over the loud music. "I think you could use a drink." She pressed a tall glass into my hand. I stared apprehensively at the clear green tinted drink she had handed me. I really wasn't a fan of alcohol and the way it muddled my mind.

"It's a mojito, Bella." Rosalie rolled her eyes. "Just drink it."

Emmett and Edward both snorted into their glasses. Glaring at them, I delicately took a sip of my mojito. I had to admit it wasn't bad. I liked it better than I would have liked either of the dark amber liquids in their glasses.

Emmett and Edward turned to their own conversation, so I turned to Rosalie. "Where's Alice?"

"She and Cynthia are off causing trouble, what else." Rose wasn't looking at me, but rather she was studying our male companions. I had noticed a change in Emmett and Rosalie over the last week. They were less deliberate in their arguments. The give and take of their relationship had settled into a deeper more stable plane. The outbursts where they seemed to hate each other occurred less often as well.

"What's going on, Rosalie?" I was hoping she would open up to me. She had been far too quiet and constrained in the past week.

She sighed heavily and pulled her eyes away from Emmett and turned toward me. "I don't know. I think things are starting to get serous with Emmett. I really like him. He's funny and sweet even if he is a bit of an idiot. For the first time I want something to last, Bella." Rose grinned, and her smile could have been enough to light up the whole room. I had never seen her so happy. It was amazing how much of a difference it made. Rather than her usual hard demeanor, her features were softer and her violet eyes sparkled.

Still there was something in her tone that told me there was something else going on. I had an idea as to what was worrying her, but I wanted her to say it. "But?" I prompted.

"Would it make sense if I said that I didn't want to ruin a good thing?"

I nodded. I may not be the best at reading most people, but my best friends were another matter. "You're worried that if you go any farther in your relationship you'll end up screwing up a good thing."

Her eyes narrowed. "How did you know?"

I pretended to be exasperated with her. "You're looking at the queen of second guessing herself, Rosalie. And having given myself that title, I am telling you, go for it. Emmett seems like a great guy. Edward speaks highly of him. You deserve a good guy, and if it doesn't work out then at least you know you tried."

"You should take your own advice, Bella," Rose stated. "Edward's a good guy too. Little too safe for my taste, but he seems all right for you."

"I really like him, Rose." We watched Edward and Emmett, just a couple feet away, joking and shoving each other around. "I don't know how it's ever going to work, but I don't care."

"Good." Rose grinned. "We'll just go at this together."

I smiled and was about to agree with her when Emmett staggered over to throw arm around Rose's shoulder. "Hey Eddie," he called. "I think our girls are talking about us. Now that's not very polite, ladies." His words were beginning to blur together. I didn't know how much he had been drinking but I could guess it had been a lot.

"Emmett, shut up, you're drunk," Edward scolded as he came to join us. Emmett tried to flip him off but he couldn't get his middle finger up without the others. Eventually he gave up and sighed. Rose giggled and patted his chest.

"Sorry, hon, but I think he's right, you're drunk," she told him unsympathetically.

Edward leaned on the wall next to me, a smug look planted across his face. He was drop dead sexy when he looked like that. It took all I had to not jump him right then and there. I took a deep breath, hoping it would help clear my head. Instead it was saturated with Edward's woodsy, thoroughly masculine, and absolutely wonderful scent. It didn't help at all with trying to not drag him back to the niche we had been in earlier and have my way with him.

I turned back to Rosalie and Emmett in an effort to ignore the god standing over me. Emmett really was drunk. He was making these awful mushy eyes at Rose. Rather than telling him off like I expected her to, she encouraged it. She giggled and batted her eyelashes, just making him go on. It was so sweet and gooey that I felt like I was going to be sick.

"Is that grossing you out as much as it is me?" Edward sounded truly revolted. I had to agree with his opinion. It was pretty gross.

"Come on, Emmy." Rose rolled her eyes and tugged on Emmett's arm. "I think our audience is getting fed up with us. I'll see you tomorrow, Bella, Edward."

"Don't do anything I won't!" Emmett shouted before they disappeared into the crowd.

Edward groaned and shook his head. "He lays it on a bit thick."

I narrowed my eyes at his amused face. "What do you mean 'laying it on thick?'"

He grinned as his emerald eyes turned on me. I blushed, but I didn't know why. There was just something about his gaze that seemed to look right through me and into my soul. "He's not really drunk," Edward told me. "He's just playing, trying to get Rosalie's attention. Emmett doesn't like doing anything the easy way. He's a bit of a showman."

We both laughed.

Another hour passed as we went back out to mingle with the crowd. I was about to call it quits—it was late, the company was thinning, and I was tired—when Jacob parted the crowd and walked up to Edward and I. Due to the late hour, I was honestly surprised—I had thought he wasn't going to show up. Edward must not have noticed because he turned to look at me when he heard me gasp. He saw me staring and turned to look as well. Butterflies were filling my stomach and not the good kind. The kind instead that made you sick and want to run away.

"Bella!" Jacob called and grinned. His white teeth flashed against the darker color of his skin. "Hey, I've been looking for you for days and haven't been able to find you. I would almost think you were trying to avoid me."

"Of course not," I stuttered. _At least not on purpose._ I wasn't necessarily upset that I had managed to keep away from him though. I quickly turned to Edward. The sooner I got him in the conversation the better. "Um, Jacob, this is Edward Cullen—he's a pianist here at court. Edward, this is the Lord Jacob Black."

Edward, trying to be polite, held out his hand. It wasn't the proper greeting for a lord, but it could be excused. Edward had no training in official royal etiquette. We should probably work on that before the State Dinner. Jacob stared at Edward's hand coldly for a moment before reaching out and grabbing it briefly before letting go. "It's a pleasure to meet you," Edward said, though he looked anything but. "Bella's been telling me a lot about you."

"Has she?" Jacob looked pleased but there was something lying underneath—anger or possessiveness, or maybe a combination of both. I would have to ask Edward later, he was much better at reading people than I was. "So, if you don't mind me asking, sir, how did you and the Princess meet?"

"At the Fall Ball." Edward smirked. "King Phillip introduced us."

Jacob's dark eyes narrowed as he studied Edward. I didn't like that bitter angry look at all. I quickly stepped up in order to keep their odd banter from escalating into something else. "So, Jacob, was there something you needed to see me about?"

"Yes." The grin was back in place as he turned to me. "I'm going home to Monaco for Christmas and I was wondering if you would like to join me? There's plenty of room and the Prince would love to meet you. Please say you'll come?"

I stared at him wide eyed for a moment. He wanted me to spend Christmas with him in Monaco? Really? Why was it that every other thing he said seemed to make me uncomfortable? I couldn't remember ever doing or saying anything to him that would imply that I wanted a relationship with him or would want to spend Christmas with him in his home.

"Unfortunately, I already have plans for Christmas. I'm staying in Edelweiss with some friends of mine. I can't back out of it. I'm sorry. Thank you for the offer. Perhaps I can take you up on it some other time?"

Jacob's face fell and he took several steps closer to me so that we were inches apart. His fingers brushes up and down my arm as he said, "I'm sorry to hear that. Is there any way I can convince you otherwise?"

"Jacob," I said, my voice stronger than I intended it to be. "Have I ever given you the impression that I viewed you as anything more than a friend?"

"Not in so many words, My Lady."

"Then please take several steps back." When he was a comfortable distance away I continued. "You are a friend, Jacob, and a friend only. Perhaps you should think that over while you're home. If, when you return, you cannot keep a respectful distance between us then I would appreciate it if you would keep away from me altogether, understood?"

"Of course, Your Majesty," he said, his voice no longer holding the usual ring. "I shall take my leave, My Lady, Edward."

I heard Edward sigh when he saw Jacob turn away. I felt suddenly weak and grabbed Edward's arm for support. "Bella, are you all right?" he asked worriedly. I felt Jasper also close in, drawn by my moment of weakness.

"Yes, I'm fine. I was just a little light headed for a moment."

Edward's eyes turned from mine to where Jacob had disappeared. "I don't like him." Edward's voice was almost a growl.

"Finally, someone who agrees with me." Jasper spoke up for the first time tonight.

"Oh, he's harmless." I didn't know why I was defending him. I just thought that they were reading too much into his behavior. "I'm sure he just didn't realize what he was doing."

I could almost hear Jasper heave an almighty mental eye roll. It was Edward's words, however, that surprised me. "There's something more going on here, Bella."

"What?" The ominous tone in his voice had worried me.

"I don't know," he said. His bright green eyes turned to me. "But I swear, Bella, I'll find out."

"We'll find out," Jasper echoed, voicing that he felt the same way.

A cold shiver dripped down my spine, and I clung tighter to Edward's arm. I had thought the real storm clouds were still a ways off. Perhaps I was wrong. Perhaps they were much closer than I thought.

**AN:**

All right the next chapter will see more Edward and what's going on in his head. I promise it won't take to long. While you're waiting though live me a review, even if it's just to yell at me or you can follow me on twitter everydaybella89 and do the same thing.

Laters!


	14. All the Right Moves

**A.N.** Hello everybody! So I'm not gonna lie this is one of my favorite chapters. Just yeah, I won't say anything else. Have fun.

Oh, and a huge thank you to my wonderful betas and to lolacullenx for nagging me until I posted this.

I own an ipad that is crammed full of twilight of stuff but I don't own twilight. *pouts*

**Chapter 14**

**All the Right Moves**

_They got all the right moves,_

_In all the wrong faces,_

_So yeah, we're going down._

_Just paint a picture of a prefect place,_

_They got it better than what anyone's told you._

_They'll be the King of Hearts,_

_And you're the Queen of Spades,_

_Then we'll fight for you like we were your soldiers._

_-OneRepublic_

**EPOV**

The next two months passed by as the palace slowly prepared for Christmas. As this was our first Christmas in Edelweiss, Bella had taken it upon herself to make sure that Emmett and I knew everything we needed to know. Evidently Christmas was a formal occasion around here. Bella was worried that Emmett and I would say or do something wrong by accident and we would get in trouble. Her fears weren't unfounded. It seemed in just the few moments I had met him, I had made an adversary out of Lord Jacob Black.

In all honesty, I had known from the first moment I had seen him with Bella that this would happen. Jacob already considered Bella his. I could see it in his demeanor at the Halloween Ball. He walked up to her without first announcing himself and his tone was harsh and sharp. Who did he think he was? He struck me as a pompous jackass. I didn't like him. Although, I was biased, because Jacob and I both wanted the same thing—Bella.

Jacob had looked alternately worried and angry when he first saw Bella and I together. That had changed to frustration when she had begun to rebut his advances. Bella had explained to me how she felt about Jacob—how his personality seemed to be divided between a nice, sweet person and a harsh, ambitious man who reminded her to much of Phil. When she had given him her ultimatum, the frustration had intensified into pure anger. However, he hid that anger quickly, so he wasn't stupid. He knew her well enough to know that she wouldn't stand for that kind of attitude. But I had seen that anger clear across his face and it worried me. This relationship that Bella and I were building was new, but I already cared enough about her to worry about what would happen if Jacob achieved his true intentions.

Jacob had left that night, and as far as I knew, hadn't spoken to Bella in more than passing since. The same couldn't be said for me. Although we had done the best we could to hide it, Jacob had no doubt seen the budding feelings between us. He was smart enough to realize who was standing between him and what he wanted, so he came to find me.

As I was leaving the music room late one night, I found him leaning against the opposite wall waiting for me. His dark, expensive suit was clearly meant to set the two of us apart. I suddenly wished that I had thought to dress a little sharper than the cream button down and blue jeans I'd thrown on before leaving the apartment. I certainly hadn't been expecting to have a meeting. Oh well, I was not going to let him think that I was going to back down just because he had a title and I didn't.

"Can I help you, My Lord?" I asked, staying on my side of the hallway. I kept my gaze on his face and refused to look away.

Jacob shrugged, an irritating smirk set on his lips. "Oh, I just thought we should have a chat, Edward. Bella seems to think rather highly of you. I was just wondering why?"

I decided to match his pose, leaning untroubled on the wall. If he wanted to make this appear we were just old friends catching up then that was fine with me. "I wouldn't know what she thinks of me, Sir. I can't read her mind."

"So then what do you think of her, Mr. Cullen?" Jacob smirked, his lips twisted up in mockery.

My own eyes narrowed. I was being pushed into a hard place. I couldn't be honest about how I felt about Bella, but I had to give him some kind of answer. "Bella is very sweet. She's been kind to take me and my friend in since we've been here."

"So what does a lowly piano player have to offer a princess?" Jacob pushed off the wall and began pacing in front of me. I remained on the wall, watching my fellow suitor like a hawk. "What do you have? No money, no name, no family. All you have is a big black piano that can make pretty music. You're nothing compared to her, or even to me. What do you have to give, Edward?"

"Perhaps the real question here, Jacob, is what do you want from Bella?" I smiled slightly as he turned to face me. His dark eyes were wide with anger at my gaff of using his name. His nostrils flared and he walked over to me so that we were face to face.

"Watch yourself, Cullen. You're playing with things far beyond your limited grasp. Bella is mine and neither you nor those freak show friends of yours are going to stop me from getting what I want. So, if I were you, I would back off before someone got hurt."

I stared coolly into his face, feeling smug about making him lose control. Inside, however, his threat had me on edge. I wanted to tell him to leave Bella and our friends alone, but something told me that wouldn't be a good idea. I had pushed him far enough tonight. I didn't want to go too far. Instead I remained quiet and keep my gaze on his face and dared him to stare me down.

Several moments passed without a word being said between us before Jacob stepped back and pretended to shake something off his jacket, as if I had gotten commoner germs on him. He looked back at me with that really annoying smile. I would really have loved to punch it right off his face. "Well, I think that was a rewarding chat. I'll be seeing you around, Mr. Cullen."

He had turned around and left without another word spoken by either of us. I watched him disappear down the hall and a knot in my stomach developed.

I told Jasper about our altercation. He had told me to stay as far away from Jacob as possible. Jasper didn't like Jacob any more than I did, but he was still looking for the links between Jacob and Phil. I really wanted to just go after Jacob but Jasper had cautioned me not to. It would cause more trouble than good. Since Bella trusted him, I would too.

I hadn't told Bella that Jacob and I had spoken. Jasper had wanted me to, but I had convinced him to let me decide when. I think Bella had suspected anyway. She was already worried about her mother, and I didn't want to add to it. Jasper had promised to let me know about anything he found out. Other than that, there wasn't much else I could do.

Running my hands sharply through my hair, I sighed. Queen Renee had asked for a recital, and it had taken place this afternoon. The recital itself hadn't been difficult, and I had at least gotten to see Bella as she was in the audience. However, Bella and I had decided that it was best to go down to only the barest amount of polite contact. I was able to watch her in the audience as I played for her, but I wasn't able to talk with her before or after.

Although playing recitals wasn't difficult, it always left me exhausted, and the physical and emotional toil had left me in need of a nap. However, that wasn't going to happen. I went back to my apartment only to find Emmett and Rosalie sharing an intimate moment in our sitting room. I had left before I could see anything I didn't want to.

Emmett and Rosalie were driving all of us crazy. It seemed they had solidified their physical relationship the night of Halloween. Since then they seemed to have no sense of privacy. They were like rabbits. Bella had told them several nights ago to knock it off and get a room. It appears that they didn't listen very well.

Unable to make it to my room, and also unable to seek out Bella, I hid in the library. It wasn't as nice as say, a nap, but it was restful none the less. By the time I was brave enough to go back to our room, neither Emmett nor Rosalie were to be found. I couldn't have been more thrilled.

When I was done getting ready to go over to Bella's, I was really tired. I was ready to get out of the Palace for a little while. A good night's sleep would be nice.

I was just about to walk out the door when there was a sharp rap on it. I opened the door to find Jasper standing behind it. His normally serious face was drawn and his gray eyes were guarded. "Jasper, can I help you?"

"I was wondering if I could have a word while we walked to Bella's?" he asked.

"Um, sure." I was a little confused. Jasper and I hadn't had much contact. Of course, I had come to him first after my run in with Jacob, but that was with Bella's security in mind.

I walked out the door and we set off down the hallway. Since Jasper had sought me out, I decided to let him start the conversation. I knew Jasper was a man of few words. He would start whenever he was ready.

"I need to know what your intentions are with Bella," Jasper demanded. "I don't want to see her hurt, and it's my job to protect her. Quite frankly, if you're only using her in order to fit in, I will kill you."

It wasn't an idle threat, he meant what he said. From what Bella had told me, Jasper had grown up protecting her, had been trained to protect her to the death. I couldn't blame him.

"I'm not using her, Jasper. I care for her, deeply. I don't know if I would call it love, yet. It's something like that though. I won't hurt her, not on purpose anyway. I can't promise it will be easy…" I trailed off, unable to finish my statement.

Jasper nodded. "Fair enough. You should know however, Bella feels the same way. I don't think she's thought about it much, but I can see it when she's with you. Please be careful with her. She puts up a good front, but she's delicate. She doesn't think she is. She's like a little sister to me. Fortunately, I like you. You're good for her."

"Thanks." I hadn't really known if he approved of our relationship or not. Alice and Rosalie seemed to, but I just wasn't sure of Jasper's feelings.

"There's something we need to talk about," he said. He stopped in the hallway and turned to face me. "Jacob and Phil are playing a very serious game and somehow they have made Bella a pawn. I don't know what they want with her, but I plan to find out. Until then, I want her as far away from them as possible. The problem is…"

"She likes Jacob," I finished for him. I had already come to that conclusion. No matter how many times he was impolite or flat out rude she always forgave him. Of course he always came and pretended to be repentant as well. That might have something to do with it. Although, it also struck me as something she would just naturally do as well. "You know she gave him an ultimatum? That if he couldn't except that she only saw him as a friend then he was ordered to stay away from her."

Jasper nodded. "I knew, but I don't think it will do anything but send him back to square one. He's not going to give up that easy. I imagine that after Christmas he and Phil will be on the war path."

"So, what do we do?" I crossed my arms across my chest and stared at Jasper. I didn't like the idea that they were using Bella to get whatever it was they wanted. If anything it made me angry. I hated the thought that she may end up just like her mother.

"It would be easier if I knew what they wanted, but I don't." Jasper sighed, obviously upset about the lack of information. "In the meantime, like I said, the best thing to do is keep her away from them. Phil won't be hard, she doesn't like him anyway. She already stays as far away from him as she can. Jacob is the problem. Like you said, she likes him. I don't want her alone with him."

"She's never really alone with anyone," I pointed out. She always has a member of her security staff close by.

Jasper snorted. "I don't trust every one of them. I would never tell Bella that, but I don't. Too many of them are related to the Lord's families and their loyalties stay there. The only ones I trust with Bella are Alice, Rosalie, Emmett, you, and myself. We won't have to worry about this for a couple weeks as we're going to the town house, but when we get back we have to start keeping a closer eye on her, Jacob, and Phil."

I nodded. I was worried about Bella and I would do whatever I had to do in order to keep her safe. If this was what Jasper thought it would it take, then that's what I would do. "Count me in," I told him.

"I thought so." Jasper started back down the hall and I followed. "The trick will be keeping Bella from knowing that we are watching her so closely. She won't like it if she finds out."

"I can see that." Everything I had learned about Bella was that she hated to be made to feel weak. Jasper was right, she couldn't know about the plans we were making.

We were silent as we continued down the winding corridors. We hadn't been far from Bella's door when we stopped so it wasn't long before Jasper was knocking on it. "Come in," came the muffled calls.

Jasper and I entered to find Emmett, Alice, and Rosalie sitting on the floor around the ornate coffee table. None of them looked up at us as we entered. Instead their attention remained on each other and the cards in their hands. Bella was nowhere to be seen.

"Hey, Edward," Emmett said as I moved to sit on the edge of the couch next to him. "Sorry about earlier. Gotta do what you gotta do, know what I mean?"

I rolled my eyes. Leave it to Emmett to shrug off his impunity. I laughed when Rosalie nonchalantly slapped the back of his head without looking up from her cards. Emmett pouted before grinning and trying to catch her eyes.

Alice groaned. "Please don't get them started, Edward. The only reason I even agreed to play poker with them is so that I didn't have to watch them suck each other's tongues."

Rosalie did look up from her cards, but at Alice rather than Emmett. "Eloquent, Alice," she snarked.

"Thank you, I do my best."

Peering over Alice's shoulder I said, "You have a good hand. Why haven't you won yet?"

She looked up at me, her dark blue eyes clear as a still pool. "I would have if they would stop ogling each other and pay attention."

She had a point. Emmett had always been awful at multi-tasking. I watched them play a couple rounds, with Jasper also joining us. It took all of us to keep Emmett focused, but finally Alice was able to win with her royal flush. Emmett, being the sore loser he was, griped, but Jasper leaned over his fiance to give her a congratulatory kiss.

"Why don't you get on to them for kissing in front of us?" Emmett pouted.

"Because all they're doing is kissing," Rosalie told him. "You have roaming hands and other things."

"Ugh. Way to much information, Rosalie," I told her. I didn't want to know anything about what Emmett let "roam."

"Then don't listen," she shot back. Rosalie and I had developed an interesting relationship. She was sharp and sarcastic, especially with me, because I could read her like a book. I knew she wasn't the tough woman she pretended to be and she hated that. This in turn got on my nerves—I hated having to deal with Rosalie's two sided shit. None of that lent each other to our favor. All that being said, she was dating my best my friend and I hers. We tried to get along as best we could.

"Where's Bella?" I asked, surprised to hear my voice whiny.

"I'm right here." I turned in the direction of her voice. I hadn't heard the door to Bella's room open. She stood there in a ratty t-shirt and sweatpants with her wet hair streaming down her back. She was grinning at me and I couldn't help but grin back. She came over to join me on the couch. She slipped into my arms and pressed her lips to mine for a quick kiss.

"Impatient much." She giggled. The sound of her laugher was like bells in my ears. I wrapped my arm around her waist and pulled her flush against me.

"I'm sorry," I whispered into her wet hair. "Today was a little crazy. I think it's gone to my head."

"Oh, but your recital was so good." She settled her head against my shoulder. It was exactly what I needed to sooth my frayed nerves. "I'm sorry you didn't think it went well."

"The recital went fine. It's just been a long day." My eyes closed almost of their own accord. I could have fallen asleep right there if it weren't for Emmett.

"Come on, wake up, Eddie. This is no time to be falling asleep. I need your help to beat that little pip squeak at poker." I opened my eyes to find Emmett back at the coffee table. "Deal the cards, Rosie."

"Actually," Rosalie stood up and rounded on the rest of us. "We have more important things to worry about, right Bella?"

"True." She moved out of my arms and stood up. "Jasper, would you please dismiss Alec. Emmett, join Edward on the couch."

I hadn't even noticed Alec by the door. I should probably start paying better attention to who was around when Bella and I were together. Jasper's words were still ringing in my ears. I needed to keep Bella as safe as possible from the mess we were creating.

Jasper dismissed Alec, and Emmett flopped onto the couch next to me. Grinning he asked, "So, Bella issuing orders. That's kinda hot, right?"

As a matter of fact, Bella standing there and directing the world around her in an old t-shirt and sweatpants was incredibly hot. All I wanted to do was to go over, wrap my arms around her and kiss her wonderfully warm and soft lips. Not that I was about to tell Emmett this. Instead I told him, "I would take your eyes off my girl before I decide I need to protect her virtue."

Bella must have heard us talking because she turned to look at us giggling. I lazily winked back at her while Emmett made some noise about how he was rubbing off on me or something.

Bella called our attention back to her. "Alright, the State Christmas Dinner is four nights from now and everyone residing in the Palace is expected to attend. However, it is a State dinner, so there is a certain level of protocol that has to be followed. Alice, Jasper, Rose, and I are going to give you a crash course in everything you need to know."

"One," Rosalie interrupted. "Emmett, sit up straight and stop slouching. It's disrespectful."

He made a show out of sitting up and placing his hands primly in his lap. He got a chuckle out of us and a grin from Rosalie. "Better." She smirked at him.

"Okay, that's lesson one." Bella instructed. Then turning her attention directly to Emmett she continued. "Another thing, Emmett, as much as we all love the lively atmosphere you bring to everything—no off color jokes. That could get you in trouble." Emmett pouted, but nodded anyway.

The night progressed in a similar fashion. One of them would give an instruction and Emmett would find some way to goof off while following their orders.

"In the dining room, you two will be seated at one of the smaller round tables, while Alice and I will be at the royal table with Bella," Rosalie told us when Alice was done with her etiquette instructions. "That means that we won't really get to see each other, so please be careful."

"Who will you be with?" I asked, hoping I didn't sound like a possessive boyfriend. Bella had been oddly silent after the initial orders. I was beginning to worry about her.

"Hum, oh." Bella looked up from the roaring fireplace she had been staring at rather intently. "Um, Renee and Phil, the Lords and their families, and a few others."

Her eyes turned back to the fire. Now I knew something was wrong, I just couldn't figure out what. She had seemed just fine earlier. It wasn't like her to tune out her friends like this. She may have lived in her own head a lot of the time but she always paid attention to what they were doing and what they needed. She was completely selfless. Whatever had her caught up in her mind was serious.

I thought about going over to her, but I decided not to. She deserved a moment to herself if that was what she wanted. She didn't get enough of that in my opinion. It seemed like she had to be open for the whole world to see. I would wait for everyone to leave before I would see if there was anything I could do. Instead I refocused my attention on the others and left Bella, hopefully, in peace.

"So who do we get to sit with?" Emmett was asking.

"You won't know until that night," Alice told him, "Sorry, nothing I can do about it."

"One more thing," Jasper added. "Don't sit down until the royal family does. After they do you can, but not until then."

Emmett and I nodded. "Anything else?" I asked. I had been trying to pay attention, mainly because Bella felt it was important.

Rosalie shook her head. "I think that's about it. Just try not to do anything stupid and you should be fine."

"Pay attention to what everyone around you is doing, too." Alice added. "That will help. Other than that you should be good. I would say have fun, but I'm not sure that's really gonna happen."

Emmett snorted. "Please, I'm the life of the party, of course it's gonna be fun."

Alice giggled while Rosalie rolled her eyes. I was used to Emmett's happy-go-lucky attitude, but I think it was still a novelty to them. The attention was going to his head. It may have been time to call it a night.

"Yeah, Life-of-the-Party, we all know how well that usually ends," I told him. "Tears if I remember correctly."

"Just because you don't know how to have fun doesn't mean that you have to spoil it for the rest of us." Emmett was taunting me. I decided to be the adult, since he never would, and ignored him completely.

"So, if we follow everything you've told us we should be fine, correct?" I asked the room at large. I just wanted to make sure.

Alice sat down on the arm of the couch next to me. "You should make it through with flying colors. Afterward, we'll leave for Crepuseula and we won't have to worry about it for a couple weeks."

"Are we sure that a good idea at this point?" Rosalie suddenly asked. "All of us going off to a town house is going to make people think. Not that there aren't rumors already, but it's not a good idea to add fuel to the fire."

"Rumors?" I asked, shocked. "What rumors?"

She shrugged. "Just some that I heard this morning. It's no secret you and Bella get along well. It's only natural that rumors start. I think Tanya started one. She's rather unhappy with you. She's not stupid; she can put two and two together."

Damn it! We had been reckless Halloween night, I knew that, but this was worse than I had thought it would be. I understood enough to know that while the rumors weren't necessarily true, they were encouraging people to start watching and thinking. I didn't want to put Bella at more risk. Our relationship was odd enough without adding royal scandal to it. "How do you know this, Rosalie?" I finally asked.

"Edward, it's part of my job. You don't think Jasper's the only one who protects Bella do you? I just have a different way to go about it," she told me. For once she wasn't bragging but rather stating an honest fact. I could appreciate that.

Maybe she was right? As much as I had been looking forward to almost two weeks of uninterrupted time with Bella, I could see how it would look. Emmett and I had integrated ourselves rather quickly in with the Princess and her group. Although we had done it almost by accident; it wasn't like we had planned any of it. That didn't change how it looked. Bella had enough problems without adding ours on top of it. "Maybe you're right," I consented. "In light of that, it probably would be better…"

I never got the chance to finish because Bella's simple "No" shocked us into silence. I think up until this point she had been so quiet we had forgotten she was even in the room. "No, we are not changing our plans," she added. "I've never let those idiots affect me and I don't plan on starting now."

Rosalie started to say something, but Bella interrupted her before she could get it out. "No, Rose. I don't care what it looks like. It's my life, and I will do what I damn well want to with it."

I think Rosalie was going to argue the point until Emmett stepped in. "Come on, babe, I think we're done here. In the meantime, I got a couple things I would like to try out if you get my drift." The way he comically raised his eyebrows made sure that we all got the drift. It was enough, however, to displace the tension that had filled the air.

"Night, Bella," he called as he pulled Rosalie unhappily from the room. Alice and Jasper soon made their escape as well, leaving just Bella and I in the room.

Bella stood beside the fireplace, again staring into the flames. Her body looked as tense as a bow string and her arms were wrapped around her chest. She looked like she was trying to hold herself together and not fall apart. I could tell she wasn't crying, but she looked less than okay.

Silently, I stood up and moved to stand behind her. I couldn't leave her like this; my heart ached at just the sight of her. I slid my arms around her waist and was relieved to feel her sink into me. I kissed the crown of her head and then rested my chin on her shoulder. "You okay?" I asked.

"Yeah." She sighed. "I'm sorry I blew up. I'm just tired of having people tell me that I can't do something just because of how it looks. I'm sick of it. I can do whatever I want to do. I want to spend the Christmas holidays with you and our friends. There is nothing wrong with that. Unless you don't want to go?"

She thought I had questioned Rosalie because I didn't want to spend all that time with her? She was absurd. "Of course I do, beautiful. I was just worried about you. You've been very quiet all night."

She turned around and placed her hands on my chest. "Sorry," she muttered. "I got the seating arrangements for the dinner before you got here. I'm being forced to sit between Renee and Jacob, while Rose and Alice are farther down the table. Oh, and you're with Tanya."

I gulped. There were so many things about this that were wrong. Jasper and I had just decided to not let Bella be with Jacob without one of us there, only to have it taken out of our hands. Tanya was the least of my worries. "Will you be okay?"

She shrugged. "It should make for an interesting night. I'll be fine, really. Jacob can be fun when he's in the right mood. I'm more worried about you and Tanya. She should be sitting at my table, but requested the seat next to you. She should have been told no."

Bella never ceased to amaze me. Again she wasn't worried about herself, but me. I grinned. "If you can handle Jacob then I think I can handle Tanya. I think I got a good understanding of her the night of the ball. You would not believe how badly she came onto me. It was very uncomfortable."

She surprised me again by giggling. "Yeah, I saw that."

"You saw that!" Oh God, what had she thought? "I honestly was trying to shake her off. Really, I was coming to find you."

She threw her head back and laughed at me. Her bell-like tone shot shivers through my body. I couldn't help but grin at her. She collapsed on to the couch, her chest heaving and tears of mirth streaming down her face. She was absolutely beautiful as she lay across the couch trying to catch her breath. "Your face!" She gasped. "I swear you turn redder than I do."

She was teasing me. I liked this lighter, more carefree Bella more than the sad one from earlier. Never-the-less, I wasn't about to let this go. "You saw me with Tanya and you didn't bother to do anything about it?"

She snorted. "Alice said that you looked uncomfortable."

As a fresh wave of giggles over took her, I snuck over to her side. So quickly that she couldn't see me coming, I jumped onto the couch, startling a sharp shriek out of her. I placed my fingers at her stomach, and I growled. "Say you're sorry."

"Never," she squealed. Her brown eyes dared me to do something about it.

I'd learned last week, by accident, that Bella was very ticklish. I was going to use this against her. As soon as I started tickling her, her brown eyes went wide and she began trying to squirm away from me. All the while she was still gasping for breath as she laughed. "Stop please!" she screamed.

Her laughter was starting to seep into me as I answered, "Say you're sorry."

I saw the answer in her eyes before she squealed, "Never."

It was a miracle her night bodyguard didn't come bursting through the door with all the laughing and screaming we were both doing. Bella had decided to give as good as she got and was trying to gain the upper hand. Unfortunately for her, I was bigger and I was on top. She never stood a chance. "Fine, fine!" she shouted through her gasps. "I'm sorry. I'm sorry."

"Thank you," I gasped as we tried to get air back into our lungs. As we calmed down, we began to realize just how close we were—physically. Bella was lying on the couch while I kneeled between her legs. I had left my hands on her waist and hers trailed my back. Our lips were close enough that our gasped breaths were mingling in front of us. Suddenly, there was another reason I couldn't catch my breath.

Bella's deep brown eyes dilated as the charged atmosphere began to catch up with her. Her small hands began to travel up my back, sending shock waves down my spine. Her lips parted, still gasping for breath. Her eyes burned into mine, and I didn't know what she was looking for, but she must have found it. Her hands fisted in my hair and pulled my face down to hers.

Who was I to argue with her? I greedily sealed my lips to hers in a searing kiss. Over the last several weeks Bella and I had taken strides in our physical relationship, but up until now it had remained chaste. To be honest I was afraid to push too far, unsure of what she wanted. She had made it clear that she wanted us to be as normal as possible. My mother had raised me to be a gentleman, so I had done my best to follow her wishes and not over step my bounds. When her tongue pressed against my lips, begging for entrance, I couldn't say no. Our tongues tangled, fighting for dominance. She wasn't giving any ground and neither was I. I wouldn't have had it any other way.

The fingers Bella had twisted in my hair began to pull sharply. I groaned. The feeling of her fingers running through my hair and pulling on it was amazing. I wanted to pass that feeling along. Her shirt had ridden up while we had been tickling and kissing. Gradually, so that she had time to pull back if she wanted, I swept my hands under her shirt and onto her smooth creamy skin. I went no higher than her stomach, but I was enamored with the satin under my fingertips. When she moaned as my fingers brushed her navel, I nearly lost it.

I broke our kiss when we both needed to breathe but my lips never lost contact with her skin. Instead, I trailed down the side of her face to her neck. Her pulse point was impossible to resist as I began to kiss and suck on her neck.

Bella moaned and whimpered between her pants for breath. I grinned as I gently began to pull a small portion of her skin between my teeth. "Edward," she whimpered. "You can't give me a love bite. It's kinda hard to cover up."

I hadn't thought about that. I really wasn't thinking much at all. I pulled my mouth away from her skin but my nose trailed the arched column of her neck. Every breath I pulled through my nose was saturated with her sweet floral sent. It wasn't helping to clear my mind any.

Bella used her strangle hold on my hair to pull me back up to her. She claimed my lips again, and I let her lead. Our bodies were pressed together, though I was careful to keep my full weight off her. My hands left her waist. I cupped her cheek in my right while the other tangled into the roots of her hair. I was careful not to pull, but the silken stands felt like heaven between my fingers. Bella's hand eventually left my hair and framed my face. Our kiss wasn't so violent this time. It was slower and deeper, much more leading. Part of me wanted to tell her to stop, the other to never let it end.

Bella pulled away this time. Both of us were trying to catch our breaths. I leaned my forehead against hers as I gasped and watched her emotions play in her eyes. Her normally bright orbs were dark with desire. Her pale cheeks were flushed red and lips were swollen from our kisses. I was drowning in her eyes and I couldn't breathe. I was enchanted, enthralled, and consumed. I wasn't sure I could pull away, and Bella's words guaranteed that I would have trouble saying no.

"Come to bed with me," she whispered.

At first I wasn't sure I heard her right. It took me a couple of moments to put her words together and when I did I gasped. It would be easy, too easy perhaps, to nod or say yes and follow her to her bedroom door. Everything with Bella was natural; I had no doubt becoming one with her would be too. I wanted to. I really did.

There was something holding me back however. I hadn't told her about Victoria. I had tried to several times, but it was never right. I knew she thought I was hiding something, but she was being patient with me. Never-the-less, I didn't feel right about having sex with her without having told her about my—situation—with Victoria. I cared for Bella. I wanted to be there for her, to protect her, to stand by her, to love her.

_Love her? _Was I in love with her? We'd only been together for two months, surely that wasn't enough time to develop feelings like that. Although, to hear my parents talk, they fell in love in two weeks. Then again, it could just be the rush of endorphins.

Still, it didn't matter. I wouldn't have sex with Bella now, even though she clearly wanted to. I couldn't do it without telling her about Victoria first and now just wasn't the time. Bella must have seen the answer in my eyes. She dropped her gaze and her cheeks flushed red, "I'm sorry. I shouldn't have said that. I don't know what came over me."

I placed a finger over her lips in order to keep her from rambling on. "I want to. You have no idea just how much I want to," I told her. "But I can't, not until I tell you some things. I just can't. It wouldn't be right."

"So tell me." She wrapped her arms around my neck pulling me down on top of her. "I've told you everything. I don't think anything you have to tell me will surprise me."

I grinned and couldn't resist the urge to press a quick kiss to her already swollen lips. "Now really isn't the time. Neither of us is in the right state of mind for that discussion. Soon, I promise."

Bella rolled her eyes, but her soft answering smile told me she understood and would wait for me. I couldn't keep my secrets much longer and I wasn't going to try. Sometime before New Year's I was going to tell Bella about Victoria so that we could both move forward.

I pressed a quick kiss to her lips to show her how much I appreciated her understanding. I then nuzzled against her neck, breathing in the sweet aroma that was so intrinsically Bella. I grinned. "I should probably go," I said, unwillingly.

"Stay." She was playing with the ends of my hair. I knew what she meant. For the moment this piece of time was perfectly safe. Nothing could go wrong. There were no secrets, no walls, just her and me. "Just for a little while. What's the rush anyway," she added.

This time I couldn't say no. "Just for a little while," I echoed. I shifted a little so that I wasn't directly on top of her but rather on my side. Bella copied me, pressing herself firmly into my arms. We stayed that way for hours, counting down the days till we would truly be alone.

**A.N.** See? Are they just not just cute?

Quick question, although I asked this before and didn't get any reactions, one of my reviewers suggested that I start a forum thread on Twilighted. If I did would anyone come hang with me if I did? No pressure, or anything, and I promise I don't bite, and I love the Robp0rn? Just an idea.

See you laters!


	15. You've Got the Love

**An:** Ok I won't take up to much room up here. This chapter is a beast so I'll just say a huge thank you to my betas and let you know that I don't own Twilight because then it wouldn't be ending in a little over a month. EEK!

**Chapter 15**

**You've Got the Love**

_Sometimes I feel like throwing my hands up in the air._

_I know I can count on you._

_Sometimes I feel like saying "Lord I just don't care,"_

_But you've got the love I need to see me through._

_Sometimes it seems that the going is just too rough,_

_And things go wrong no matter what I do._

—_Florence and the Machine_

**BPOV**

When Grand-père was king, and Renee wasn't so involved with Phil, I had loved Christmas. Then again, what child didn't? There was just something magical about it. Fairy tales were possible, there were surprises around every corner, and every snowflake held the promise of a better year. I would beg my governess to let me go out and play in the gardens and I would have stayed out there all day if she had allowed it. I always had to be dragged in at mid-day just to have lunch.

Of course, as I grew older, I had begun to see the hypocrisy in the palace. By the time I was eleven, I was asking to spend Christmas elsewhere. Most of the time it was with Alice and her family, but once, the Christmas before he died, I had gotten to spend it in Forks with my Dad. That was the best Christmas ever.

The present one was shaping up to be a good one as well. I just had to wait until after tonight's State Dinner in order to leave for Crépuscule. As soon as I was out of the palace, I had no doubt that things would begin to look up immediately. I was getting to spend Christmas with my oldest friends and my newest ones, including Edward.

I just had to get through tonight first. That was already proving to be difficult and the evening hadn't even started yet. First, Renee had decided just this morning that the decor she and the planning committee had chosen was too simple. She had enlisted my help in trying to fix it. I ran around all morning doing my best to help my mother. In the end it looked amazing, but it wore us out trying to make it happen.

Renee then decided that she wanted to have music playing while we ate. There wasn't time to hire a live band, so we were going to have to find recorded music to play. Luckily, I was able to enlist Edward's help. He'd been able to tell me several Christmas recordings that would serve our purpose.

Of course that had been the only time I had been able to see him all day. After that, Alice and Rosalie had locked me in my bathroom while they primped and plucked and slowly fashioned me into a winter goddess, or so they said.

I had been locked in this room for hours now. I was seconds from telling them to knock it off. Alice was at least doing my makeup now and Rose was putting the finishing touches on my hair. Perhaps the end was in sight. Knowing Alice and Rose like I did, I wasn't willing to bet on it. They no doubt had more torture lined up for me after they finished my face. For instance, I had only the dress I was wearing tonight, not the shoes. They had probably found a pair of toothpick thin stilettos that they wanted me to walk in. It was a nightmare.

I did my best to keep from fidgeting as I sat in front of a mirror, while my friends worked their magic. It was hard though. I was nervous about tonight. The prospect of sitting next to Jacob would have been fine if I knew which Jacob I was going to be with. As I had told Edward four nights ago, I was more worried about him and Tanya. It wasn't that I didn't trust Edward. I did, even though he was hiding something from me. I knew he would he tell me when he was ready. I just had to be patient, which was incredibly difficult for me. It was Tanya I didn't trust. Never mind she was breaking protocol by asking to sit somewhere other than the royal table. I knew Tanya had more tricks up her non-existent sleeve than Edward realized. She didn't give up when she wanted something—and she wanted Edward. He seemed completely calm about the whole affair, and it was driving me nuts.

"Bella, would you please sit still?" Alice snapped. "If you don't, your eyeliner is going to be all over your face. I only can do so much you know. Now close your eyes."

I made sure she saw me roll my eyes before I obediently closed them. "This wouldn't have taken so long if you would have just let me do it."

Both of them snorted. "Your skills may be good enough for everyday kind of things, Bella," Rosalie insisted, "but not for something as important as this."

I resisted the urge to shrug. If I had had my way, I wouldn't even wear makeup and they knew it. I just didn't feel the need for it. It wasn't that I thought I was already beautiful. Rather, I thought I was plain and didn't see the point to worrying about it. Everyone else, especially Edward, told me otherwise. I thought they were biased.

Rose must have been reading my mind. She sighed and said, "God, if this is what you're like with just a day without Edward, I'd hate to see what you're like after New Year's."

"What do you mean, Rose?" Alice voiced the question I had been about to ask. Rose wasn't making any sense.

"Oh come on, Alice." My eyes were still closed, but I could almost hear her eyes roll. "For two weeks they are going to spend every minute of the day, and probably the night too, together. Then they are going to come back here and have hardly any time together. If you think it's bad now, just wait. They are going to be unbearable."

Edward and I weren't that bad, were we? It wasn't like we got to spend a lot of time together, and part of that was also spent with Alice, Rosalie, Jasper, and Emmett. Yes, I had only seen Edward once today, and that was surrounded by other people, but that wasn't the reason I was so irritable. There were lots of other reasons for that.

On the other hand, I couldn't deign what I was beginning to feel for Edward. It had started four nights ago when Edward and I had made out on my couch. It had nearly become more than making out. I had asked him to come to bed with me. I didn't know what had come over me and all I had known was that his lips on my neck and his hands on my stomach had made me crazy. Fire had ignited in my belly and traveled up my spine. My skin felt warm, and I hadn't been able to breathe. I had wanted more, so much more.

Edward had put the brakes on though. He hadn't wanted to take it any farther until he told me something about his past. I could respect that, and I was trying not to push him past his comfort zone, but it was hard. Fortunately, we had both been so busy that we hadn't been able to see each other often, and when we had, we were both so tired that we had done little more than kiss briefly and pass out. Although, falling asleep curled up next to Edward was wonderful. I would gladly have done that every night.

In all honesty, these feelings had been growing and developing for two months. I found myself constantly thinking about Edward and what he was doing. I wanted to be with him almost all the time. I was happiest when I was with him. I was rarely ever comfortable around people I didn't really know, but with Edward, it was as natural as breathing. Two months ago, if you had asked me who I would I go to if I needed someone to talk to or a shoulder to cry on, I would have said Alice and Rosalie. Now, if I were being honest, I would have to say Edward. There was a kind of comfort being wrapped in his arms. I had felt it that night when I had stumbled upon him playing the piano. It had felt right to be held by him as I cried.

The real problem was that I didn't know what to call these feelings. I cared for Edward deeply, there was no doubt about that. If he was hurting—and he clearly was, his secret was weighing on him more and more—then I wanted to do something to make him feel better. When he was happy, I was too. Nothing could make me smile like the crooked grin that would sometimes spread across his face. I felt completely at home as long as was I near him.

Part of me knew what to call these feelings, but I was afraid to even think the word. My mother claimed that she felt that way even now with Phil. She may have been head over heels for him, but he was just using her. It was too soon for these feelings anyway. After all, in many ways, it had been the stroke of death for my parents. However that didn't stop me from wanting them to be true. Still, I was so scared of them. It was wrong, and it would never work, but that didn't make me want it any less.

"Edward and I are not that bad," I told Rosalie. My voice sounded shaky and unsteady, not nearly as clear or forceful as I had wanted it to be. Rose snorted and Alice giggled as if to say, "Yeah, whatever you think, Bella."

I sighed. "Are you two almost done?" I asked as a distraction. Talking and thinking about Edward was just making me miss him more. It wasn't likely to get any better tonight either. The less I thought about it, the better.

They either took the hint or decided to spare me. "You're finished." Alice chirped. "Leave your eyes closed for a moment."

They had me stand up and guided me to stand several feet from where I had been sitting. "Okay, open your eyes," Alice ordered.

Doing as I was told, I found myself in front of a floor length mirror. I was wearing a burgundy dress that came to rest at my ankles just before the floor. The dress was fitted to the waist where it fell to a lose flute. Thin spaghetti straps held the dress up. My grand-mere's locket glittered at my throat. Rose had piled my hair on top my head, pulling it away from my face while still allowing my longer tresses to fall down my back. Alice's makeup job had made my face look clear and well defined.

I didn't recognize the woman in the mirror. The dress made me look effortlessly graceful. The deep red color made my skin look bright and luminous. My eyes were wide and my lips were almost the same color as my dress. I was shocked at my own reflection. I had to admit that I looked anything but plain. I was beautiful.

I don't know how long I stood there oblivious to Alice and Rose standing next to me. My eyes began to sting, and they must have seen something because Rose asked, "Is everything all right, Bella? If there's something you don't like we can try to fix it."

I shook my head and gave a shaky laugh. "No, no, I love it. I really do. You are both amazing. I was just thinking that it was a shame that I'm not going to be with Edward when I look this amazing."

Alice and Rose both grinned in a knowing way. Alice wrapped an arm around me and grinned into the mirror. She was beautiful in her royal blue dress with her hair straight and perfectly coiffed. And Rosalie was as stunning as ever, this time in a simple cream dress instead of her usual red or black. She was as beautiful as ever. "Don't you just love it?" Alice asked.

"What?" I asked, confused.

"That feeling you're fighting right now, don't you just love it?" She grinned like the mischievous little imp she was. Yes, I knew exactly what she was talking about.

My cheeks flushed red as she grinned. "I don't know what you're talking about."

I think she was trying to answer me when Rose interrupted us. "Hey, you two, we've got to go. We're already five minutes late."

Jasper was waiting for us in the sitting room ready to go. As he escorted us down the hall toward the dinner room, I could almost hear Alice's mind working, waiting for the prefect moment to drill me more about my feelings for Edward. I said a silent prayer that she would wait till we were in Crépuscule at least. I really couldn't unlock that chest right now while I was also worrying about tonight. Fortunately, there wasn't really time for her to interrogate me.

Of course, we were the last ones to make it to the anti-room. Renee and Phil were already there waiting. Renee didn't seem to be perturbed by the wait, but Phil was seething and glaring in my general direction. "It's a pleasure for you to join us, Isabella," he said sarcastically. "Perhaps we should have waited even longer for you. That wouldn't have been a problem at all."

I resisted the urge to flip him off. It would have been wonderful to do, and my entourage would have thought it appropriate, but we were hardly alone in the room. I was sure that Renee's and Phil's security details would find that behavior less than amusing. I settled for rolling my eyes and delivering an equally sarcastic remark. "Yes, maybe you should have just gone on in and let me come in when I was ready. We all know how much you would rather I disappear again."

Phil turned beet red as he glared at me. He didn't like anyone standing up to him, and I had decided not to let him have it easy any more. His lips pressed into a thin line as his normal color returned. "You should remember who you are talking to, Isabella. Although, I couldn't expect much more, considering who your father was."

I saw red. I wanted nothing more than to hit him. He didn't even know my father. Charlie was a good man. The residents of Forks had all loved him. I could remember the entire town shutting down for his funeral. I couldn't say the same thing would happen if Phil were in his place. I hadn't realized that I had begun to move toward Phil with the intention of slapping him until I felt Jasper grab me from behind. I swear he saved me from myself more often than he did from anyone else. Alice and Rosalie also grabbed me. They knew me too well.

I didn't fight them, but they also didn't let me go. They knew I would likely just move as soon as they did. Instead, I glared at Phil while he stood there smirking back at me—arrogant bastard.

"Bella, calm down," Jasper hissed in my ear. "You're only giving him what he wants. You're better than this."

He was right. Phil wanted me to lose my temper and make a spectacle out of myself. He knew how much I hated to be the center of attention. Plus Alice and Rose really had done an amazing job on me. This gave me an idea. I was determined to outshine everyone once we walked through those doors. Normally that would have made me nervous, but right now I wanted it. I wanted it mainly so that I could shove it in Phil's face. I fought to bring my facial expressions back under control. I drew on the expressionless mask I often wore in public. It was lonely sometimes behind it, and I had a sudden sharp pang of want for Edward. He could always see through me.

"Are you okay?" Jasper whispered.

I nodded, not quite trusting my voice yet.

"Good. Take a deep breath and we'll let go of you." I did as he said, drawing a deep breath through my nose. I immediately felt my muscles relax and the flush recede from my face. Jasper, Alice, and Rosalie let go of me, knowing I wasn't going to go after Phil now. I straightened up, standing at my full height in order to show him that I was not intimidated by him. I simply knew how to treat people better than he did.

"I'm glad you think so highly of my father. I'll take that as a compliment." I smiled sweetly and turned to Rosalie and Alice, "Why don't you both go ahead and go in. Give us a couple minutes and we'll be ready."

"Yes, My Lady," they answered. They now had to follow protocol since we were at an official function. They both dipped into a curtsy before going into the dining hall. Rose must have known that I was planning something because she slipped me a discrete wink before she disappeared. Jasper went back to his place three steps behind me, and I could feel his silent, steely support.

I said hello to my mother, who looked a little startled, and took my position next to her. Phil was on her other side and he didn't say another word to me. I didn't pay any more attention to him either, so the feeling was mutual. I was planning to steal the spotlight from him. I was going to outshine him and everyone else in that room. Tomorrow when they were all headed to their own homes, one sentence would be on all their lips, "Wasn't Princess Bella amazing last night?"

Renee's officer told us they were opening the doors in one minute. I took a deep fortifying breath. I hated the attention for a reason, because I always felt like I was about to do something wrong, and when I did, everyone would know. I couldn't be a scared little child anymore. It was time to grow up. If I was old enough to have a somewhat forbidden relationship, then it was time I began to pick up some other responsibilities as well.

I had just enough time to silently thank Alice and Rose for their amazing job on my appearance, and send up a silent wish for Edward, before the doors were thrown open. A porter had just announced us, so we walked in to applause. I made a last second change of plans and placed the biggest, brightest smile on my face that I could conjure. Alice always said that the best piece of makeup anyone could have was a winning smile. It certainly seemed true as I walked into the room next to Renee. There seemed to be a moment where the crowd didn't know what to do with my new, more confident appearance. I took a risk, smiled warmly, and waved to the crowd. Where previously they had been apathetic to the illegitimate daughter, now I was their princess. The applause grew louder and every member of the crowd either slipped into a low bow or a curtsy. In that moment I knew I had won them over. Before I had never had any of them bow to me because they wanted to. They did it because they were required to, but never because they wanted to show that respect.

Although Renee and Phil still stood next to me, I knew the crowd of Lords and Ladies wasn't showing their respect for them this time. Phil was just short of scowling and Renee looked a little dazed. My eyes pricked and fought back the tears, refusing to let them fall. When the crowd straightened I dipped into a curtsy, acknowledging them and thanking them for their support. Renee and Phil followed suit and the applause continued.

It wasn't until I stood back up that I finally saw Edward. He had maneuvered to the front of the crowd. He looked amazing in a tux, his smile wide and proud, but it was his eyes that caught my attention. They were bright and glistening with his admiration of me. He thought I was amazing. He'd told me so on multiple occasions, but I had never believed him. Now I had no choice but to believe him. His eyes couldn't lie. Suddenly, it didn't matter that I had out shined Phil and won the crowd. Instead, I had impressed Edward. He was proud of me, and that meant everything.

When we sat down at the head of the long table everyone had been talking about my stunning performance. "May I say, My Lady," Lord Brandon—who was one of my mother's foremost supporters—told me, "You were spectacular out there. You have changed a lot since you left here all those years ago."

Alice, who sat two seats down from her father, had a huge grin on her face. Even those who weren't close enough to me to say anything were still talking about my "grande entrèe." Just as always, the attention made me sick to my stomach. I had lost sight of Edward as well, which didn't help. I refused to lose the ground I had just gained, however, so I placed a thrilled, if ambivalent, smile on my face and kept the embarrassment at bay.

"You are gorgeous, Bella," Jacob told me when he took the seat next to me. His dark eyes were twinkling with youth and mischievousness. I breathed a sigh of relief. It looked like I might be getting the fun Jacob tonight. That would make this much easier. Of course, I still had to worry about Tanya. I couldn't see Edward's and Tanya's table from where I was sitting. I would just have to hope that he would be okay.

"Thank you," I told Jacob. "Is your father here?"

He nodded grinning. "He's around here somewhere. We were both rather impressed with your entrance. I was under the impression you preferred to fly under the radar, as they say."

I smiled a secretive smile. "Let's just say I found the proper inspiration."

The look on Phil's face as I had toppled him from his place was enough, but the pride swimming in Edward's green eyes had been the icing on the cake. I would do it all over again just to see that look.

Jacob and I chatted as dinner began and soon after found ourselves swept up in the table's discussion. Fortunately they were reasonably safe topics; economics, Christmas travels, families, news, and me. Again I found myself fighting my basic instincts. I refused to be shy and duck my head like a child. Instead I held my head high and imagined Edward's deep green orbs in order to keep it that way.

Everyone it seemed had something to say to me. "You were spectacular, My Dear," old Lady Hale, Rosalie's grandmother, gushed. "Reminded me of your grand-mère. Absolutely stunning."

"Indeed, you were wonderful, Bella. I always knew you had it in you," Abigail Brandon said.

Even my mother seemed happy for once. "Wasn't she amazing!" she would say whenever she got the chance.

Of course, not everything went well. I saw Lady Hale and Lady Denali whispering together and shooting glares my way. Jane, the daughter of Lord Aro Volturi, also sent me a murderous look. Then there was Phil. For the first half of the meal he sat in his seat at the head of the table and stewed. Not only had I overshadowed him once tonight, but now I was commanding the conversation. He would send pointed looks to me whenever he though no one was looking. Suddenly, I was more thrilled than ever that I had made plans to spend Christmas elsewhere. Phil would be raising hell here as punishment. I felt sorry for anyone that would be caught in his way.

By the time the main course was served, I was ready for the conversation to change. I was finding it harder and harder to keep my neutral, ambivalent mask in place. I was tired and the night was still young. Perhaps I would be able to pull an early goodnight after dessert. But I knew the chances of that were fairly slim.

The conversation finally shifted away from me and toward other topics, leaving me room to breathe for a moment.

"Are you alright?" Jacob asked quietly.

"I'm fine."

"Okay, you've just been quiet for a while now. I don't think anyone else has noticed, but you looked a little lost in your thoughts there."

Had I? I had lost track of the conversation. "Thank you," I quickly replied, as our dinner plates were taken away and dessert took its place. He winked and turned back to the table. I started on my napoleon and made sure to pay attention to the table.

"Bella, my daughters tell me you're stealing them away for Christmas. Is that true?" Lord Brandon asked me. The smile he was wearing told me he was merely making conversion, not truly interrogating me. Besides, I had been in his home enough for Christmas and other holidays that the Brandons were like family to me. Lady Brandon, Abigail, had even told me that she counted me as one of her daughters. In some ways they were the family that I never got to have. It only made sense that I would end up spending Christmas with them. "It was Alice's idea. She and Cynthia came to me when we realized we had all that extra room. So it made sense to have Cynthia along."

"Well, if they end up being trouble you can always call us. It's not that bad here at the Palace." Lord Brandon grinned down at his daughters. Alice rolled her eyes while Cynthia groaned. "Dad, do you mind? I am seventeen," Cynthia muttered.

I resisted the urge to snort into my glass of wine. Our end of the table did giggle at Cynthia's outburst. "I'm sorry, my dear," Lord Brandon told her. "I didn't mean to insult you."

I felt a sharp stab of remorse as I listened to their easy banter. It had been a long time since I thought about my father. In all honesty, we would never have been this vocal. Charlie was a man of few words, and I didn't have many more than he did. Still, it didn't stop me missing that chance that we would never have.

"Bella," Renee interrupted me from my musings. "I forgot to ask you who you were going to Crépuscule with?"

"Um, just Alice, Rose, Cynthia, and some friends of ours." I was hoping she wouldn't push for details. It wasn't wrong that Emmett and Edward were coming with us, but I didn't really want Phil to know.

Of course, I had no such luck. "Which friends?"

I sighed. "Edward Cullen and Emmett McCarty."

Renee looked confused. "The pianist and his friend? I didn't realize you knew each other that well."

I bit the inside of my lip and nodded, still trying to keep up my confident outer shell. "We've gotten to know each other over the last couple months. They're both rather sweet. It seemed only polite to invite them since they are new here."

"I can vouch for them as well, Your Majesty," Lord Brandon spoke up in their defense. I breathed a sigh of relief. Renee would listen to him. I would just have to hope that Phil, who was now glaring at me again, would keep his mouth shut. "I met them both the night of the Fall Ball. Your daughter could do worse in friends. Alice and Cynthia tell me that they are gentlemen as well."

"Oh, well, all right. I did like them both when I got to meet them, and I did think that you would like them." Renee now grinned at me. If only she knew just how much I liked Edward. I don't think she would be grinning then.

"Bella, didn't you think about any of the other guests we have staying with us." Phil sneered. "Lord Jacob for instance."

"I was under the impression that Lord Jacob was going back to Monaco for the holidays. My Lord?" I turned to Jacob for conformation before answering,

"I'm afraid you are right, Bella." I breathed a sigh of relief. I didn't know how, but I had gotten out of that one.

Phil looked between Jacob and I for a moment before turning back to the rest of the table and beginning another conversation. I didn't know what he was looking for, but I was certain he found it. He looked smug as he sat there, the king of his world. I felt a true stab of hatred for him in that moment. I fought to keep it off my face. I didn't want him to know that he had that much effect on me. I kept my eyes down on plate and pointedly ignored Phil.

Dinner was almost finished, but that didn't mean the night was over. The party would break up into smaller groups and move into the adjacent salons. Phil and Renee left together with a group of Lords and Ladies following them. I stayed sitting at the table while most everyone left. I would have to make an appearance, but I could wait for a little while.

I hadn't noticed that Jacob had stayed behind as well until he said, "Bella, could I have a word with you in private please?"

I turned to study him. Jacob had been the epitome of polite and courteous to everyone he had been in contact with. I hadn't seen the harsh obnoxious Jacob since I had delivered my ultimatum to him. Of course, I hadn't seen much of him since then, but if tonight was any indication then he had taken my words to heart. I nodded. "Just as long as you understand that what I told you earlier is still in effect. I see you as a friend only."

"Fair enough." He grinned. "Perhaps we should go out to the gardens. I know it's chilly out, but I have a feeling you wouldn't mind."

"I don't." Jacob told one of the attendants to fetch our coats. I told Alice and Rosalie I would see them tomorrow. Part of me wanted to tell them to find Edward and tell him to wait in my room, but it didn't seem very smart to do in front of Jacob. I would just have to hope that I could find him after I was done talking to Jacob.

He escorted me to the other end of the building and the French doors that led out to the lantern lit gardens. The servant reappeared carrying both our coats. Jacob helped me into mine before slipping into his. He offered me his arm, which I took, and lead me into the gardens. Snow was falling softly, barely visible in the soft defused torchlight. Lamps lit the fountains and statues making the snow that piled up on the ground glitter and sparkle. It made for quite a winter wonderland.

As Jacob led me through the garden, we remained quiet. I paid more attention to my surroundings than to him, deciding that he would talk when he was ready. I was glad that he didn't lead me to the back corner of the garden where I had spent the afternoon with Edward. The last time I had been there was with Edward, and in my mind that was now our garden. It would have felt like a betrayal to be there with Jacob.

"Bella, there's something I would like to discuss with you." We were walking through a hedge into a smaller, more intimate part of the garden. In this area there were many statues of cupids and cherubim. Tiny white Christmas lights adorned the trees and bushes. I couldn't help but wonder if the setting we found ourselves in was less than accidental. "I understand the feelings and instructions you have given me, but I would like the chance to explain myself. Is that acceptable, My Lady?"

I tried to swallow the lump in my throat, but it didn't do any good. I had been caught off guard by Jacob yet again. Why did I keep letting myself get pulled into these situations? Jacob had brought up a good point. Up till now, I had been making all the demands. I had refused to let him have his say. He deserved at least that much. It wouldn't change anything, but it couldn't hurt to let him explain this to me. Maybe it would even help. We could air everything out and move on as friends. "My instructions still stand, My Lord, but I will listen with an open mind." I continued his formal language, thankful—for once—for the social barrier that separated us.

"Thank you." He grinned, lightening the tense mood that surrounded us. "You should know that although I did come here to acquire King Phillip's help in business, I also came for selfish reasons. Phillip had told me about you several times and I grew enamored of the idea of you—the fiery, strong willed princess with a mind of her own. I wanted to meet you. When Phillip told me you had come home, it seemed to be the perfect opportunity. Your step-father liked the idea, although I know now that the two of you do not get along. Never the less, I came as soon as I could.

"I was immediately caught up in you, My Lady. From that first glance in court, I knew I had been right to come. You were as beautiful, intelligent, and outspoken as I had made you in my mind. You do remember what happened that day?"

I nodded and giggled. "We exchanged several gestures across the hall before we were caught. I would say it was worth it. Courts are truly dull."

He laughed. "You should know they're no better in Monaco. They may even be worse. Anyway." His voice became serious again and he stopped, turning to face me and holding both my hands in his. He continued, "I'm afraid I may have become rather rash in the process and over stepped my bounds. For that, I'm truly sorry. I had never meant to offend you, quite the opposite. I had meant to impress you."

He was sorry; I could see it in his face. His eyes were turned down, studying my hands in his. I had been upset to hear that he had come here for me and hadn't bothered to tell me until now. I could have killed Phil for talking about me. God only knew what he had said about me and what game he was playing with us. It wasn't Jacob's fault however.

"I forgive you, Jacob. I don't appreciate that you kept all this from me, but that's in the past. Just please don't hide anything from me in the future."

"Thank you, Bella." He looked up from our hands and caught my eyes in a scorching gaze. His dark eyes were a slow building fire that I couldn't escape from. "Bella, I won't lie. I want to court you." I gasped and tried to pull away. "No, let me finish. I want to, but I will respect your wishes."

I settled down and stared pointedly, urging him to go on. "You don't see me that way and so I will wait. I do ask though that you consider it. You have to admit that we would be prefect together, with you, a princess, and myself, a lord. We're practically made for each other."

I sighed. I wasn't in the mood to explain this to Jacob. It was difficult anyway. I couldn't mention my budding feelings for Edward. "Jacob, there is more to us than our titles. I make it a point to not do things that only my title would dictate. Besides, you are my friend, Jacob, not my suitor."

His grin was back in place as he answered, "Shouldn't I be your friend before I'm your suitor?"

"No. Yes." I suddenly felt very tired and wanted Edward. I took a deep breath to steady myself. "Yes, that is true. I value our friendship, I truly do. But I do not feel that way about you."

He nodded, but his grin stayed in place. "Then can I have the time to convince you otherwise?"

I should have told him no. I should have told him that that would never happen and that I didn't want that to happen. It would have saved me a lot of heartache later. Perhaps I was scared that if I did, I would lose him as my only high ranking friend. I don't know why, but instead I replied, "You may have that. Just don't be disappointed if you don't get the results you want."

"Wonderful!" he exclaimed. He gave me a sudden hug and I returned it. "I'll show you, I promise. Now would you allow me to escort you back to the party?"

"I don't think I'm going back. Please go ahead without me." It was late enough that I could get away with not going back. They would just think that I had disappeared with some of the others from my group.

"Can I walk you to your rooms then?"

"No, thank you. I think I would rather stay here." I really just wanted him to go so that I could go find Edward.

He shrugged. "All right then. Good night, My Lady Bella." He bowed with a flourish, blew me a kiss, and left the garden grinning. I couldn't help but laugh. He was absurd, which was why I liked him. His youthful, easy-going personality made it easy.

When my laughter died out, I realized that I was alone for the first time tonight, or as alone as I ever could be. I could feel Jasper standing in the shadows, watching me. I gladly let the mask that I had worn all night slip away leaving just plain old me behind. I didn't mind in the least. I happened to like me. It felt wonderful. I was proud of myself, however, for keeping my dazzling composure up all night. For the first time I had taken control in my environment. It was a great feeling, like I could take on the world.

It had, however, left me exhausted. I sank down to the edge of the water fountain. Everything was bathed in the gentle glow from the tiny lights. I felt like I was in some kind of Winter Queen's palace rather than the one I had grown up in. I turned my face to the sky where thousands of stars twinkled in the black velvet sky. The snow had ceased falling, but the air remained icy cold. I closed my eyes and let the gentle wind caress my face. I knew I should go and find Edward, as my heart was begging for his embrace. However, I was enjoying the solace, as incomplete as it was without him, too much to move away from here and back into the real world.

I was so lost in my own world, that when I heard someone enter the garden, I let out a startled shriek and jumped up. I knew if it was anyone who wanted to harm me, Jasper would never have let them in. It was more the shock than anything.

I soon realized that my intruder was nothing to be worried about, because when I spun around, Edward was slipping through the gate. He was grinning from ear to ear, and his emerald eyes that I loved so much were brimming with mischievousness and pride. Before he could do anything, or move another inch, I raced across the open space between us and launched myself into his arms. He staggered for a moment before catching his feet, and he then began spinning me, with my feet leaving the ground while he laughed and I squealed.

Finally, he placed me feet back on the ground and met my lips with a searing kiss. My hands went straight for his hair, fisting them into the silky strands. One of his hands held my waist, keeping me from falling. The other threaded into the roots of my hair, keeping me anchored to him. I never wanted this prefect moment to end, but as usual the need to breathe pulled us apart. Edward placed his forehead against mine, staring into my eyes with that same swimming pride he had held earlier.

"I have wanted to do that since you walked into that room." He panted. His fingers left my hair and instead traced my face reverently. "Do you realize that you had everyone in that room in love with you? You were amazing. How did you do it?"

I bit my lip and locked my arms around his neck. "I don't really know. Phil was being a jerk, and I wanted to beat him at his own game. So, I thought I would try to turn up the charm and out shine him. Did I really do well?"

Edward grinned, and my heart sped up from the unadulterated joy that radiated from him. "You were beautiful, and charming, and you took my breath away. I swear I'm going to write music about it."

I blushed and leaned into his chest. My head fell just over his heart. I suddenly felt very tired. "Thank you, Edward, really. If you don't mind though, I'm just going to be me with you. That was really hard, and I just want to be me." My voice began to get thick as the pressure of the day began to get at me. I wanted nothing more than to curl up in my bed and sleep, but I also didn't want the leave Edward. I had missed him too much to let him go yet.

Edward bent to kiss the crown of my head and gently began to rock me in his arms. "You can be whatever you want to be with me, Love," he whispered in my ear. I grinned at his new pet name for me. I nestled myself into his arms as he began humming.

"How did you know I was here?" I wasn't really wondering. I just wanted to hear his voice again.

"Jasper sent someone to find me."

"Thank you, Jasper!" I called.

"You're welcome, Bella," Jasper's deep voice rumbled from across the yard.

Edward and I were silent again. He went back to humming, and I was content to listen to the gentle sounds of his music. I was fairly certain it was the same tune he had been working on when I stumbled across him that night in the music room. I yawned against his chest and closed my eyes.

"You're tired." Edward gently pushed me back and studied my face in the dim light. "You should go get some sleep."

"I'm not ready to leave you." I pouted.

He smiled. "Me either."

A sudden idea struck me. If my hunch was right, and if I could get him to agree to it, then I could have my cake and eat it too. "Edward, are you and Emmett in a room with a hunting motif, on the west side of the Palace?"

He nodded, though he did look confused.

"And are you in the room on left?" I crossed my fingers.

Again, he nodded.

I placed my hands on his face and tried to make my face as clear as possible so that he would understand my meaning. I also hoped that I wasn't pushing any of his boundaries. "If you could stay the night with me, and just sleep, would you?"

He paused and studied my face intently. I begged him with my eyes to say yes. I honestly didn't have anything else planned. I just didn't want to be alone tonight. Slowly he answered, "Yes."

I grinned. "Then go to your room, put on something more comfortable than a tux, and stay there until I send for you."

"What?"

"Trust me, go." He shrugged and gave me a quick kiss before rushing out of the garden.

I gave him a few moments before following him back into the Palace, avoiding the groups gathered in the salons and halls. I made my way to my room. I had to give Edward time to get to his room, but it was hard. All I really wanted to do was go to him. Years of living with my every action watched had taught me to be careful. If Edward came to me the normal way, and someone saw him, they would also see that he didn't leave. That could spell trouble for the both of us. Lucky for me, Edward had been placed in the room we needed him to be in.

As soon I made it into the sitting room I turned to Jasper. "You may send for the night guard. Thank you again, Jasper."

He smiled. "I thought you could use the company. You did well tonight. You deserve a little peace."

"Thank you. I wasn't looking forward to having to find Edward. Have a good night. Would you mind telling Alice that I want to leave by nine in the morning?"

Jasper nodded and stepped back out to the hallway. As soon as the door was closed, I ran into my bedroom. I only took the time to kick off my shoes and toss my coat on the back of the chair before I went to stand in front of the fireplace. I took three steps to the left and carefully positioned myself in front of the wall. There was an ugly painting of a bowl of fruit hanging there, but other than that, it was completely bare. I took the painting down and gripped the hook it had been hanging on in my hand and pulled down.

The hook was actually a latch in the wall. When I pulled it, this section of wall, about the width of a normal door, popped out about an inch. Grabbing the exposed wood, I swung the door open, revealing a simple set of climbing stairs. Giggling, I raced up them and into a dark hallway. Moving carefully, so that I didn't make a sound, I followed the path as it curved in a long arch. It was dark and tight, and other paths branched off it occasionally. This secret passage connected several rooms, and if I didn't know where I was going, I would have gotten lost.

I came to the end of the path and carefully set off down another set of stairs. At the bottom was a small landing and a wooden wall.

"Edward?" I knocked on the wall trying to make myself heard. "Edward?"

"Bella?" I could barely hear him, but he was there on the other side.

"Edward, can I come in?" I laughed as I pictured his confused face.

"Um, sure?"

I pulled the latch and pushed the wall out. On the other side was another bedroom and a bemused Edward. He watched as I pushed the door open. His grin was wide as I showed off my secret wall. "I though those kind of things only existed in the movies." He laughed.

"Not around here." I shrugged. "You ready to go?"

He nodded. I grabbed his hand and pulled him into the passage. "Close the door and make sure it latches. I don't want anyone finding out about it." We both made sure the door was closed, and I showed him how the latch worked for later. I then pulled him down the corridor toward my room.

"Okay, so what is this?" he asked quietly.

"It's a secret passage between your room and my room. My great-great grandmother had it built when she was a princess so that she could see her lover and future husband, who stayed in that room you're in." I would have given anything to see his face, but it was too dark. I was sure the irony had not been lost on him either. "Only the females of the royal family and those few we show know about this, so you're sworn to secrecy. It's been widened since my great-great grandmother used it. Alice, Rose, and I used to use it to sneak out at night."

"Why doesn't that surprise me?" He snickered as we made it into my room. I left the wall-door partly open so that we could find it more easily.

Suddenly, I realized that Edward and I were in my room completely alone. I felt a blush creep up my cheeks. What the hell had I done? Twice in a row now I had let my mouth run, and now I had to face the consequences. I couldn't even look at Edward. Ugh, why was I so shy? I had to get out of here, just for a moment. Just to reassemble my mind.

"Um, make yourself comfortable, I guess." Keeping my eyes focused anywhere but on Edward, I grabbed my normal night clothes and moved toward the bathroom. "I'll be right back."

I quickly ducked inside and shut the door. I leaned against it and sighed heavily. _I could do this. I would do this._ I wanted this. I really did. Besides, we weren't really doing anything. I was thankful Edward had doused us both with cold water the other night. Who knows what I would have done then. I took a deep breath and squared my shoulders. I was the Princess of the House of Higginbothan, and I really wanted Edward. Hopefully he didn't now think I was a coward, or, even worse, maybe he left thinking I had changed my mind.

I swallowed down my rising hysteria. He wouldn't have left. He knew I got nervous, and especially with everything else that happened tonight, I would need a moment to myself. I carefully slipped out of the dress and into my more comfortable sweatpants and t-shirt.

Trying to hold on to what little bravado I had left, I opened the door and went back out to the room. Edward was standing by the fireplace, studying the pictures on the mantle. He must have heard me because he turned to face me, a gentle smile gracing his face. Wordlessly he held out his hand in invitation. I gratefully moved back into his arms and immediately relaxed. This was just Edward. There was nothing to be nervous about. I rested my head against his chest, perfectly content.

"I know this is you and your mother, but who are the other two?" He was pointing at a picture where I was four, standing with my mother. On her one side was a stern looking older woman and on the other was a smiling, white haired man.

"That's my grand-mère and grand-père. That was my first official presentation to the court and the announcement of my being made heir behind Renee. I hated it. I tried to hide in my room. Obviously it didn't work."

He chuckled, and I yawned, trying to hide it. "You're tired," he told me. "Maybe you should get some sleep."

I nodded and climbed into my bed while Edward awkwardly stood by. It was a strange role reversal. "I'm not going to bite, Edward." I giggled.

He chuckled and climbed in next to me. We lay facing each other, while I watched the dim light play across his face. His eyes were open watching me. The quiet moment was perfectly peaceful, and when Edward began humming again, I could no longer keep my eyes open.

They fluttered open again when I felt Edward's lips brush against my forehead. I was going to ask him what he was doing, but he saw me open my eyes. "Shh," he whispered. "Go to sleep. I'll see you in the morning."

Nodding, I closed my eyes again, succumbing to the combined influence of the peaceful night and his soft humming. Just before I fell asleep, I finally gave words to the feeling that Alice had pinned earlier tonight. I was in love with Edward Cullen.

**AN:** Oh dear. Whatever is she gonna do?


	16. Ours

******AN: **So, who loved Breaking Dawn? ME! Its the first time I've ever screamed in a theater. Haha. Any who, big thanks to my amazing beta's StateofDelusion and Batgirl8968. This wouldn't be near as good without them. As always, I don't own Twilight I just play with the characters for a little while and return them a little worse for wear.

* * *

**Chapter 16**

**Ours**

_Gone like a dream that I have just awoken from,_

_Fading away, just out of reach,_

_And we are here, but I already miss you,_

_Even as you're lying next to me…_

_This time is ours._

_If I could hold this moment in my hands,_

_I'd stop the world from moving._

_-The Bravery_

BPOV

My first coherent thought in the morning was that it was warm and comfortable. There was something solid along my back, and a gentle weight was settled across my waist. The air around me smelled of pine and something sweeter, honey maybe? Whatever it was, it was oddly soothing. When combined with the perfect silence that also permeated the room, I was tempted to just drift back under the wave of sleep that was lapping at my feet. Something kept me from being able to do that though. There was something nudging my mind, something I was supposed to remember. It seemed like it was important, but no matter how hard I fought, I just couldn't remember.

I nestled back underneath the warmth of the covers and dozed off. It was so wonderfully soft and cozy that I didn't mind in the least that I couldn't remember. I felt perfectly safe curled up here. It would be a shame to waste that feeling.

When I next regained full consciousness, I realized where I was and who was with me. The events of last night came flooding back—the dinner, Phil, my discussion with Jacob, and finally, Edward and I in my bed for the first time. Admittedly we hadn't done anything but sleep. It was still a big moment. I hadn't ever just slept with a guy. I mean sex, yes; just sleep, no. That was something committed couples did. I wasn't quite sure what to do now. I was in uncharted waters without a paddle. One of these days I would learn to keep my mouth shut.

I let my mind drift back to just before I had fallen asleep. Edward had been humming and I had remembered something Alice had said earlier in the day. What was it? Oh, yes, I was in love with Edward Cullen. I had to whisper the words to myself in order to make them real. I was in love with him. I smiled slowly and relaxed back into his unconscious arms. I was in love with Edward Cullen. A thrill of excitement mixed with fear rushed through me. I wanted to jump up and shout to the world that I loved Edward—that he was mine and I was his. I was excited, and it took all that I had not to laugh and wake him up. However I wasn't ready to face his beautiful green gaze yet. I wanted a moment to enjoy my new found knowledge before reality set in. I deserved that much at least.

Nothing about this would be easy. To begin with, I had no idea if he felt the same way about me. He liked me, yes, but this love was a completely different thing. I would do anything for Edward; fight anyone who dared to step between us. The place I wanted to be more than any other was right where I was in this instant, in his arms. For one fleeting moment my world was perfect, and I could have what I wanted without any consequences.

However, reality tends to make a mess of our dreams. What you laid out so carefully is thrown into chaos. The treasures you held dear are exposed as trash. The awful truth was love wasn't always enough. My parents were proof of that. They had loved each other—my father till the day he died—and they still hadn't been able to beat back the inevitable. They came from two different worlds. There was no changing it. That led me to the real question—was it even worth loving him if it wasn't going to change anything?

My first thought was, _no it wasn't._ I had never been a real romantic like my mother. I had never understood the call of a love that made you face heartbreak and destruction knowing you were never going to win. Being raised with the knowledge of my parents' marriage had made me a bit of a cynic. Now, faced with my own lovesick problem, I found myself leaning that way again. I could ignore my feelings and continue on as if nothing had changed. This would work unless he felt the same way. If he reciprocated my feelings, then I would have no choice but to push him away.

The thought made my chest hurt. Push Edward away? Edward, who had always been caring and compassionate, who understood me better than anyone else, who wrote me a song. How could I push that away? I pressed myself back into Edward's chest, reassuring myself that he was still here. I was rewarded by his arm tightening around my waist. I sighed. This was such a mess. I never really understood how hard my mother had had it. I felt a twinge of sympathy for her. I had always said I wouldn't make her mistakes.

The smart thing for me to do would be to leave Edward now. But in my heart I knew I couldn't do that. I had watched my dad live with a broken heart, and I couldn't do that to Edward.

I wasn't my mother. I was much more realistic than she was. Maybe I could make this work where she didn't. There was no reason I couldn't—I was smart. It would take some thought, and a lot of work, but I could do it. I was fairly certain of it. Perhaps there was hope after all. I just had to look a little harder for that path that would get me out of this with everything I wanted.

I decided that I wouldn't do anything until I knew what Edward felt for me. If he ended up feeling the same way, then we would go forward together. That was the way it should be. Right now, I had two weeks away from the Palace, and I wasn't going to worry about that on my vacation.

I carefully rolled over to face Edward. His bronze hair was tousled, looking only a little less put together than normal. His long eyelashes brushed his cheeks and his lips were parted as he breathed. I had never gotten the chance to study his face without being watched so I soaked up the opportunity. Edward's features were sharp and angular, with a long nose and deep set eyes. I noted the dark rings surrounding them. He wasn't sleeping well. Still, his face seemed to relax in sleep making him look younger, more vulnerable. That never showed when he was awake. He was always trying to protect me, but I realized now that he was carrying his own burdens as well. I was suddenly struck by a fierce urge to defend him too.

I couldn't resist the urge to trace his features with my fingertips. His pale skin was soft except along his jaw where he was beginning to grow stubble. It's rough texture felt funny against my fingers. He sighed in his sleep and muttered something I couldn't make out. I giggled at his almost childlike expression.

My giggle must have woken him up. When I glanced back at him his green eyes were staring sleepily back at me. "Am I amusing you?" he asked, still sounding like he was half asleep.

I shrugged, grinning down at him. "Just a little bit."

He rolled his eyes and then surprised me by pulling me down on top of him. I squealed as he flipped us over so that we were both on our sides facing each other. He propped himself up on his arm as he grinned down at me. "Good morning," he said.

"Good morning," I replied eagerly. He was so gorgeous, his hair in complete disarray, the cloudy film leaving his eyes, making them crystal clear. His smile was bright, open, and made me breathless. I grinned lazily up at him.

"What are you smiling about?" he asked.

_Because I love you, _I thought. Instead I answered, "I have a beautiful man hovering over me in my bed. What's not to be smiling about?"

Edward leaned over me, his face only inches from mine. His green eyes were bright and swimming with emotion that I couldn't read. I felt as if I was losing myself in them. His lips gently brushed my own in a sweet kiss. There was no rush, no hurry in this kiss. Instead it was tender and without expectations of going further. I tried to express what I couldn't say yet in words. I closed my eyes and wrapped my arms around his neck. I surrendered myself to him and let him lead.

When I finally pushed him away, we were both breathless. We stared at each other in silence, not needing words to be together. That was part of why I loved him. I didn't have to be someone else when I was with him.

"I could get used to that," I finally told him.

He chuckled softly. "So could I. Why is that?"

"Why is what?" I tangled my fingers into his hair and played with the silky strands. Edward settled next to me and traced my features with his fingertips. For a moment I forgot we were even talking—until I caught the quiet intensity of his eyes.

He smiled almost sadly. "Why have I known you for only two months and I would already do anything for you? I don't understand it. Right here, with you, feels more like home than my piano ever has. That can't be right, but I don't want it to be wrong either. Am I making any sense?"

I nodded as tears pricked at my eyes. I understood perfectly what he meant. The only thing I wanted was him, too. "I know what you're saying. I feel the same way. With everyone else, even Rose and Alice, I have to be careful with what I say and do, even with what I let show on my face. I don't have to do that with you. I…" I wanted to tell him that I loved him, but I didn't want to scare him away. It was too soon for that anyway. "I trust you."

He smiled softly, though traces of that sadness were still evident in his face. His arm slid down to my waist and he nuzzled against my neck, making me giggle. "And I you," he whispered softly.

We lay there quietly for a few moments, interconnected and perfectly content. I was almost asleep again when I thought to ask, "What time is it?"

Edward looked over my shoulder and informed me, "It's five after eight."

"Oh shit." I scrambled out of his arms and turned the light on in the room. The brightness momentarily blinded me. As soon as I could see again, I moved back to the bed. Edward was sitting up and blinking his eyes. I grabbed his hand and pulled him off the bed and onto his feet. "I'm sorry. I told Alice I wanted to leave by nine, and it's already eight."

"It's fine." He ran his hands through his hair a few times, leaving it in complete disarray. I fought the urge to mess with it myself. "I should probably go make sure Emmett's up and getting ready to go. I'll see you in about thirty minutes?"

I nodded and reminded him how to work the door at his end of the passage. "If you see Rose down there, could you send her here please? Meet us at the western portico. The cars will be waiting there."

I stood up on my tiptoes and kissed him again before he left. As soon as he was gone, I quickly changed and finished packing. I hadn't been able to do a lot yesterday, which meant I still had plenty to do this morning. When it was completed I made sure the secret door was shut well and went off to the sitting room.

Alice and Rose were already there waiting on me. I sent them a cheery, "Good morning!" before crossing to the bookshelf and beginning to browse through the titles. I was trying to decide what to take with me for reading material. I was in an Austin mood. Unfortunately, I was so focused on my books, I missed the sneaky smiles and mischievous grins Alice and Rose were sharing.

"Sooooo," Rosalie drew the word out and then left it hanging. It was at that moment that I knew I was in trouble.

I looked at her out of the corner of my eye. She had a knowing smile on her face and a twinkle in her eye. "Yes, Rosalie?" I asked, trying to hide my worry.

"Oh, I was just wondering what had you in such a good mood this morning?" she asked coyly.

"I just had a good night, that's all." I shrugged and turned back to the bookcase, trying to ignore her.

"I bet you just did," she muttered.

"Oh Rose, leave her alone." Alice joined me and gave me a hug. "You were amazing last night, Bella! I always knew you had it in you."

I giggled, thrilled to have Alice's approval. "Thanks. Phil was being a jerk again before we walked in. I decided that I'd had enough and was going to beat him at his own game. It seemed to work."

"Are you kidding me?" Rose asked. "You were all anyone would talk about at the after parties. Emmett and I heard a hundred variations of 'Wasn't Princess Bella amazing?' Trust me, you had them all floored."

I blushed and bit my lip. Now that it was over, and I was in my room, I could afford to be bashful. I'd be lying if I said that I wasn't proud of myself. I didn't think I could do it.

"Anyway, that's not all I was proud of you for." Alice leaned on the book case and tried to get my attention. "A little birdie informed me that you had a sleep over last night."

I gasped, shocked. How had she known Edward and I slept together last night? The reason I had used the secret passage was so that no one could find out. It could be dangerous for both him and me. I trusted Alice. If someone knew who shouldn't have, she would have thrown them off track. It still didn't help my embarrassment any. I was red as a tomato. I quickly grabbed a random book off the shelf and buried my nose in it, hoping that they would miss it.

Rosalie, of course, laughed. "I think we hit a nerve, Alice. Look at her face. Come on, Bella, how was it?"

"I don't know what you're talking about," I said airily.

Rose sighed dramatically. "Bella, do you realize what book you have in your hands?"

I hadn't noticed, but when I looked, I found _Sense and Sensibility_. One word in particular seemed to jump off the page.

"Well?" she needled.

"It's _Sense and Sensibility_."

"And what is the name of the male lead in it?"

"Edward," I conceded. Rose spread her hands as if to say, "My work here is done."

I groaned. They had me and they knew it. It would do no good to deign it. "Okay yes, Edward and I slept together last night, but that was all we did. I swear."

"Um, hum, sure that was all you did." Rosalie was grinning like the cat that caught the canary.

"That was all we did, Rose," I snapped. I yanked two more books off the shelf and stuffed them into a shoulder bag waiting on the couch. I wasn't mad at Rosalie, per-se, as much as I was embarrassed and didn't want to talk about this. "You've been spending too much time with Emmett."

"Well, when he's not driving me nuts, we have a lot of fun. We've certainly done more than 'slept together and that's all.'" Rose made air quotes with her fingers as she said my words back at me. I bit my lip to keep from saying the first thing that came to my mind. I wish she would just drop it.

"I'm glad you're happy, Rose," I muttered sarcastically. "Look, neither of us really wanted to be alone last night, so he stayed with me. Besides, he's not ready for that yet. There's something he wants to tell me before we take the next step."

"What is it?" Alice asked. She came to sit next to me on the couch. I was glad she had stepped between Rosalie and me. The last thing I wanted to do was get in a fight after the amazing morning I had already had. I had also realized it would do me good to talk about what I was feeling for Edward. They would be able to tell me if I was being crazy or if I was simply normal.

"I don't know," I told Alice. "My guess is it has something to do with his past. I don't really care. Nothing he could tell me is going to change how I feel. Whatever it is, it's important to him, so I'm trying to be patient, but it's hard. Sometimes it's like there's a wall between us that he's put up, and other times it's like we've known each other forever. I'm rambling, I know…"

"No, I understand." Alice grinned and nodded sympathetically. "More than you realize. I had to talk Jasper around too."

"What?" I asked, confused.

"Oh, come on, Bella." Alice rolled her eyes. "You may not admit it, but you have to realize what part of his hesitation is. You're a princess. He's, for lack of a better word, a commoner. Jasper and I have the same problem. He's your bodyguard and I'm the daughter of one the most powerful lords in Edelweiss. You can see the similarities."

I couldn't remember ever thinking about Alice and Jasper that way. They were natural together like apples and cinnamon. They were made for each other. It seemed like they had always been together. Even when we were kids they seemed to revolve around each other. I hadn't ever thought about how they had gotten to where they were now. "Okay, so how did you do it?"

"A lot of patience and some gentle prodding." Alice giggled. "And maybe a swift kick to the butt occasionally, but only if he really needed it."

We laughed, and it felt wonderful. After the tense atmosphere Rosalie and I had developed, it was nice to laugh together over something. Alice was a genius and had brought us both down from the ledge. "Just be patient. He'll come around," she assured me.

"Okay." I nodded. It wasn't anything less than I already knew, but it was nice to know that I had someone who understood what I going through. Rose and Emmett didn't seem to be having these troubles, but at least I wasn't completely alone. "How did you two know anyway?"

"Jasper overheard you two in the garden and he told me." Alice shrugged. "I thought it was a pretty good idea. It's how I would want to finish up a night like yours."

"As for me, well…" Rosalie smirked and winked. "Having Edward tell me you wanted to see me when he had supposedly only just got up, wasn't your brightest idea ever."

Oh, I hadn't even thought about that. In my defense, I hadn't been thinking much at all. Edward had that kind of effect, or was it just me? "Yeah, I guess I'm going to have to be more careful."

"Just a little," Rose agreed. "The passageway was inspired though."

I was going to reply to her when there was knock on the door. Jasper came in followed by several men. Jasper wasn't in uniform, but rather in jeans, a dark shirt, and a leather jacket. The others were all in white palace uniforms.

"Good morning," I called, my good mood returning.

"Good morning." Jasper grinned. "The cars are ready. We just have to finish loading the luggage."

"Wonderful." I stood up and grabbed my book bag. "The rest of my things are in my room. They are all ready to go." The staffers went back to my room and came back just a few minutes later carrying my suitcases. I could have gotten them myself, but I wasn't allowed to. It wasn't proper. I made sure I to thank them before they left.

"Are you ready?" I asked Alice and Rose. They both nodded and turned to Jasper. "Guess we're ready. Are Cynthia, Edward, and Emmett already there?"

Jasper nodded as we made our way down the hallway. "Your mother is there as well. She would like a word with you before you leave."

I groaned. Hopefully she just wanted to say good-bye and didn't have anything important to discuss. If she wanted me to lighten up on Phil, it wasn't happening.

The entrance lobby was bustling by the time we got there. We weren't the only ones trying to get out of the Palace for holidays. Everyone wanted to be in their own homes for Christmas. Most of them would be back by New Years, unlike us. We weren't coming back until the second of January.

Jasper guided us across the room to the opposite side where the rest of our group and Renee were assembled. My eyes were immediately drawn to Edward. I noticed that he was talking with my Mother. They looked up at me when we approached.

"Good morning, sweetheart." Renee enveloped me in a hug, surprising me to say the least.

"Good morning, Mom. You're in a good mood this morning."

"Oh," Renee said. "Last night was just a very pleasant dinner, didn't you think? I didn't get to tell you, but you were amazing during the entrance and dinner. I was very proud of you."

I blushed and ducked my head. "Thanks, Mom." Edward winked at me as discreetly as he could. I bit my lip to keep from laughing at him. His face was pure "I told you so."

Turning to the others, I said, "Good morning Cynthia, Emmett, and Edward. Everyone have a good night's sleep?"

"Best I've ever had," Edward said with a perfectly straight face. I was jealous of him. I couldn't hide anything and thus my ensuing blush. I glared at him while he continued to grin. I hated him in that moment.

It looked like Emmett was about to say something when he suddenly winced and said, "Ouch."

"Are you alright?" I asked.

Emmett glanced at Edward out of the corner of his eye. "Nope, I'm great, thanks." His dimples showing as he grinned at me. I shot Edward a questioning glance, but he just shrugged.

"Okay, Jasper said the cars are almost ready." I was ready to go, so I needed to get everyone out of the door. "We should go ahead and get out of here."

"Bella, could I have a word before you go?" Renee asked. I couldn't say I was surprised. She always wanted to say good-bye before I left for anywhere. Besides I couldn't tell her no. I was worried about her and leaving her with Phil.

I nodded and turned to the others. "You should all go ahead and go outside. I'll meet you there in a minute." They filed out, leaving me with Renee. "What can I help you with, Mom?"

"I'm just worried about you, Bella." Renee wrapped her arm around my waist and steered me toward the doors slowly.

"You're always worried about me, Mom. What about this time?"

She laughed and nodded, admitting that I was right. "I suppose I am. I am your mother; it's my job. Anyway, I was wondering what you and Jacob discussed last night. I never saw you again so I was wondering how it went."

I sighed. Of course she did. "Well, the short version is he would like to court me. I've already told him I don't feel for him that way, but he wanted a chance to give his opinion. I told him I would listen. Did you know Phil told him about me? I wish he would stop that. He's worse than a gossiping old woman."

Renee of course ignored my commentary on Phil. "So, what did Lord Jacob say?"

"Just that he had wanted to meet me for a while, and he thought we would be good together because of our titles." I made a disgusted face, making sure she saw my dislike of the idea.

"Now, Bella, he has a point," she said paternally. "You are both in places of responsibility. You could do worse than a Lord."

"Mom, there is more to me, hell there is more to anyone, than just their title. Most don't even earn their's; it's given to them when they're born." It was an old argument, and not one I was likely to win. Renee was convinced that titles were everything. Not that she didn't like anyone who didn't have those claims—she did. She just thought that since I was born into a ranking family that I should appreciate it more than I did. I disagreed. "Jacob is nice, yes, and I like him, but that doesn't mean that I see him like that."

"You should still give him a chance. You are a princess, Bella, whether you want to admit it or not." Renee reminded me. "You have responsibilities and duties you have to fulfill. You need someone who understands that and can help you."

Renee was hardly the person to be telling me this considering her husband. However, I bit my tongue and instead said, "I understand, but just the fact that he has a title doesn't mean he would do any of that. Besides, I'm not going to do anything because that's what someone else expects of me. I told him I would think about his offer and that's what I will do."

Renee sighed; it was the best she was going to get out of me and she knew it. I was stubborn and didn't give in easy. I would think about his offer, at some point. Most of my mind was, however, taken up by my new found feelings for Edward. I would do my best, but I couldn't make any promises other than that. Besides, most of my time in the near future was focused on vacation. "Don't worry, Mom. I'm fine on my own. It's not the end of the world. I'm only twenty-two. I'm still young, and I'm not in any hurry to find a man or settle down. It's the twenty-first century; a girl doesn't have to have a man to run a country. Now relax. It's Christmas. Have some fun. I'll call you tonight."

Renee nodded and gave me a quick hug. "I just don't want to see you mess up like I did, sweetheart. I love you, you know that right?"

I nodded. She might not have been much of a mother, but I still knew she loved me and only wanted the best for me. We may have disagreed about some important things, but she was the only family I had left. If anything I should be, and was, worried about her.

"I love you too, Mom. I promise everything will be fine." I gave her a kiss on her cheek, buttoned up my coat, and went out the French doors.

It was bright and sunny outside but still cold. Last night's snow was built up on the sides of the road leaving a thick white slush. Under the portico there were about twenty cars, mostly black sedans, coming and going. Families were loading up, getting ready to head to their own homes in the valley or into France to catch a flight to the rest of the continent. My group was gathered on the opposite end of the portico by two black limousines.

I carefully crossed the driveway, dodging running kids and sleek cars, to join Edward and the rest of our friends. When I made it to them, I found it hard not to grab Edward's hand. Instead I claimed the spot next to him—standing too close, I had no doubt—but I couldn't find it in me to care. It was vacation time anyway.

"What was that about?" he asked, nodding toward the palace doors where I could still see Renee watching.

"Just my mother being my mother." I shook my head. Edward grinned and nodded. I had a feeling he understood my exasperation. "Are we ready to go?"

Alice nodded. "We were just waiting on you."

Jasper opened the passenger doors and the others waited till I climbed in before they joined me. The two bench seats faced each other with leg room in the middle. It wasn't as large or as posh as some of the others we had, but the drive was only about four and half hours long, so it would do. Emmett, Rose, and Cynthia took the seat opposite me, while Edward claimed the one next to me with Alice on his other side. Jasper sat in the front with the driver. As soon as the door closed, sealing us inside and blocking us from view, I grabbed Edward's hand and curled against his side.

The car pulled out of the portico and into the bright sunlight. The snow sparkled on the ground, throwing off bright beams of light. Fortunately the dark tint of the windows kept it from being too bright. The driver pulled through the town that lay at the foot of the Palace and then out to the valley floor. I usually kept to myself and read during long car rides, but even though I did have _Sense and Sensibility_ open on my lap, I was doing anything but reading.

It seemed Emmett and Cynthia were having far too much fun teasing everyone else. Edward was their most popular target, and he bore it with good grace. Both Rosalie and Alice egged them on. I tried to keep a straight face, but it was hard and I slipped up several times.

"Did I ever tell you of the time Eddie and I got put in lock up one night?" Emmett asked. Edward groaned and buried his face in my hair. Rosalie winked at me, while I tried to console him. The story that Emmett was about to tell must have been pretty bad.

"Look at him." Cynthia giggled. "It must be bad, whatever it is. Please do tell, Emmett?"

"Okay, so." Emmett leaned back in his seat, relishing his position as storyteller. "It was the weekend, a Friday night to be exact. The weekends were about the only time we got to hang out because he was at Julliard and I wasn't. I wanted to go out and have a good time so I dragged him along. We ended up at a bar with some buddies of mine. We're sitting there minding our own business, when this group of really hot girls starts talking to us."

"Be careful where you're going with this, Emmett." Rose glared at him, daring him to continue describing the woman they were with as "hot."

He grinned unabashedly at her. "Come on, babe, you know you're the hottest girl I've been with."

Rosalie nodded, obviously satisfied with his answer. "Continue."

Emmett rubbed his palms together and glanced at his audience. His baby blue eyes were sparkling as he got into his story. "So, there we were, about five of us and four of them. Now, I am required to inform you that we had been drinking, but it wasn't that much."

"Give it up, Emmett," Edward spoke up for the first time. "You were drunk."

"No, I wasn't." Emmett pouted, drawing giggles from the rest of us. Given what we knew about Emmett we were more likely to believe Edward. Emmett was probably drunk. "Besides you were too."

Edward rolled his eyes. "You realize that you just admitted that you were drunk as well?"

"Can we get back to the story?" I asked. "I'd like to hear the end before the drive is over."

Edward conceded but added, "Just as long as it is mentioned that I had a recital the next night."

"Fair enough, but it should also be mentioned that I didn't make you do anything." Emmett then got back into his story. "So we've had drinks and we learned that the chicks are all from out of town. We were all good New York boys, so we decided to show them around the city. Two taxi rides later we were at the harbor.

"So, there we were, four really hot girls and five shit-faced guys. Naturally we started showing off for the girls. Eddie then decided that stripping and jumping off the peer would be the best idea."

"No!" I exclaimed. Alice and Cynthia both began giggling manically, while Rosalie rolled her eyes. I think she expected this outcome. When I turned to face Edward, I found him blushing. His face was crimson, and he couldn't look anyone in the eye. I took pity on him even though he was unbelievably cute when embarrassed.

"Aw, it's okay, Edward," I told him. "You were in school and drunk. Trust me, we all do something stupid." He did seem a little bit better, but his awkwardness was replaced by curiosity. Crap, I should have known better. Now, he would want to know what I had done. I had to distract him. "So, did you two make it in?"

"Naw, probably a good thing too," Emmett mused. "We managed to strip, but a cop showed up and arrested us for public indecency. The worst thing was our parents left us there all night. I think they would have left us another night if Edward hadn't had that recital. I don't think I've ever seen our dads so pissed."

"You're just lucky that recital wasn't part of a grade. Otherwise I would have been the one to kill you instead of your dad."

It was interesting watching Edward and Emmett banter. It reminded me of Alice, Rose, and me. They had clearly been friends for a long time. They were razing each other like siblings.

We made an interesting group to say the least. It was unlikely combination; a princess, her ladies in waiting, her bodyguard, and a pair of American nobodies. It was like the beginning of a bad joke; only it wasn't a joke, it was my life at the moment.

I began to wonder if I asked Renee if she could run away with my father again, would she? I would never actually ask her, but I was fairly certain I knew her answer, or at least part of it. She would say yes. She always told me that she never regretted me, and I was fairly certain that part of her still loved my father. She would do everything all over again, because she was a romantic. The real question was would she still leave him? I really didn't know the answer to that. The child in me wanted to say that she wouldn't, but the realist in me knew better. Renee might have been flighty and erratic but when she made a serious decision like this, she stuck to it. She wouldn't change that. She would tell me that being in love didn't change anything. Sometimes it wasn't enough.

I watched the serene countryside pass outside the window, unaware that silence had descended upon the car. Edward was holding my hand, his thumb rubbing the back of my palm absentmindedly. It reminded me of my own problems. What was I going to do about my feelings for Edward? I loved him, but my parents were proof that it didn't always work. If I was smart I would stay away from Edward.

Renee had been added to the list of people pushing me toward Jacob. That would be the safe thing to do—the boring thing to do. They were right; Jacob and I would make a powerful couple. Combining my family's wealth with blood from Monaco, especially someone so close to the Prince, would be a win for the elitists. France would probably enjoy it as well. They could sink their claws a little deeper into everything. What could go wrong?

There had to be more to my life than political tussles and cat fights. Was it really too much to ask? It wasn't that important anyway. We were a small country with not much to offer, what was the big deal? I sighed heavily. I wasn't usually much of a whiner but this just wasn't fair. I just wanted to be happy.

"What are you not reading?" Edward asked, jolting me out of my thoughts. He reached around and took the book out of my lap. "Sense and Sensibility. I pegged you for an Austen fan."

"Yeah," I muttered, trying to keep the dejection out of my voice. "I like the classics."

His beautiful green eyes looked up from the book to study my face. Evidently I didn't do as good a job hiding as I had hoped. He placed the book back in my lap and cradled my cheek in his hand. "What's wrong?" he asked softly, his voice just over a whisper.

"How do you know something's wrong?" I tried to keep my voice stable, but I was fairly certain he saw though it anyway.

"You're about to cry, Bella." His fingers traced just under my eye gathering a little wetness that had fallen there. "What's wrong?"

I couldn't keep his gaze; instead I looked down toward our laps where our interlocked fingers rested. I didn't know what to tell him. I wasn't ready to tell him I was in love with him, but that was the problem. I didn't want to just lie to him either. "I was thinking about what Renee and I were talking about before we left. She kept trying to convince me that entertaining the advances of Lord Jacob Black would be advantageous to both myself and Edelweiss. The trouble is I don't want advantageous. On the other hand, nothing worked out well for my parents. I guess I'm just feeling a little trapped."

"That's fair enough." He smiled at me, instantly making me feel better. "It's your life, Bella. Nobody can live it for you. Your choices are yours, no one else's. You're not your parents. What was right for them may not be right for you. You'll just have to find out."

"How do you always know what to say?" I asked in awe.

"Believe me, I don't." He grinned again. "I just had a sudden feeling that would work. Seemed like it did."

I nodded. His face was already so close, and it seemed like a shame to waste the opportunity, so I brushed my lips against his in a very sweet kiss. He gently cradled my cheeks and returned my kiss with equal enthusiasm. "Thank you," I finally told him when we pulled apart to breathe.

"You're welcome. It's my pleasure."

"Hey, lovebirds," Rosalie interrupted our moment by pointing out the windows. "Just thought I would point out that we're almost there."

Over the last hour the land had begun to rise again. Now just up ahead, the tiny old fashioned European town of Crepuseula was visible. The wood beams of the houses brought to mind the old city scenes of Christmas cards. The church steeple rose up above the middle of the town like a light house, guiding the way to the town center.

The car drove past the old stone building toward a lane hidden behind it. There was a row of town houses rising about three stories high. We stopped on the middle of the row. My family's townhouse was actually two different houses; one for us and another for security staff. I noticed there were people out on the street, mostly kids playing in the snow. There were a few points and stares, but for the most part we were ignored.

We climbed out of the car, and I lead the way up to the doorstep labeled "23." I opened it and stepped into the already warm entryway. The townhouse wasn't very large, but it was quaint and wouldn't be uncomfortable. In front of me was a narrow flight of stairs, while on my left was a dining room with a door that led to the kitchen. On my right was a parlor, and I was anxious to see if my delivery had been made.

"Alice, Jasper, and I have the rooms on the third floor." I told them while taking off my coat. "You can have any room on the second floor you like. There's enough for everybody."

My friends all stumbled up the stairs, Rosalie and Cynthia already fighting over rooms, while I went to the parlor. Edward followed me, telling Emmett he didn't care what room he had. There was a fireplace in the inner wall and a window looking out on the street opposite. A pale pink couch was set in the middle of the room with several armchairs in the corners. What I was looking for was set against the far wall. A silver piano keyboard had been delivered per my instructions. I grinned triumphantly.

Edward wrapped his arms around me from behind and settled his chin on my shoulder. "What are you grinning about?"

I pointed at the keyboard. It seemed he hadn't noticed it yet. "I had that brought in for you. I figured it might be difficult for you to be away from a piano for two weeks. I didn't know what you liked, so I had the best one delivered."

While I had been talking, he had left me and moved toward the keyboard. "It's perfect, Bella." He grinned, and I relaxed. I had been a little nervous about my gift. The bright excitement in his eyes however proved that I had been right in my assumption. "Thank you, I really had been dreading that."

I blushed and watched as he turned the keyboard on and sat down on the bench in front of it. He pressed his fingers to the keys briefly before he turned to look at me over his shoulder. "Come here," he said softly.

I gladly joined him on the bench and listened to him play for the rest of the afternoon.

* * *

**AN: **Okay, two things.

1. Please note the rating now. Just fair warning I have raised it. You will find out why next chapter. I promise its nothing disturbing its just, you know, stuff. *grins evilly*

2. I have started hosting a Writers Chat for Project Team Beta on thursday nights at 7PM PST. Anyone is welcome so if you want to join just go to: project team beta dot com /weekly-wc/ (take out the spaces and make the "dot" a dot)

And I will see you next chapter!


	17. Near to You

**AN:** Merry Christmas everyone! I hope you had a safe, happy holiday with lots of presents. Thanks to my wonderful beta's State of Delusion and BatGirl8986 this is my Christmas present to you. Enjoy!

* * *

**Chapter 17**

**Near to You**

_Well, you and I, it's something different,_

_And I'm enjoying it cautiously._

_I'm battle scarred, I'm working oh so hard to get_

_Back to who I used to be…_

_Won't you stay with me, please?_

_Cause near to you, I am healin'_

_But it's taken so long,_

_Cause though he's gone and you are wonderful,_

_It's hard to move on._

_Yet I'm better near to you._

_-A Fine Frenzy_

**EPOV**

It was dark by the time I managed to sneak out of the house. The day had been amazing, but I needed time to myself to work a few things out. The previous night had thrown some issues into focus regarding Bella. I was going to have to deal with them before I went any further with her. And I wanted everything with her. Watching her enter that room last night had convinced me, if I hadn't already known, that she was the most beautiful woman in the world. She had walked into that dining room and had dazzled everyone there. It had taken everything in me to keep from running to her and kissing her. She was amazing! I had always known that this strong, beautiful, confident woman existed, but to actually see it was something else. No one could take their eyes away from her. It was like some star had descended from the heavens.

All throughout the evening I kept glancing at her table. I almost didn't recognize her. She held her head high and spoke openly to everyone around her. I was jealous that they were getting to listen to her sweet voice and I wasn't. It was only made worse every time I saw Jacob Black respond to her. It seemed he held the center of her attention, which made me livid. I knew she didn't feel anything for him; she had assured me several times, but at that moment, he had what I wanted. He could openly express anything he felt to her; he could hold her hand, spin her across the dance floor, and kiss her without having to look over his shoulder. He didn't have to worry about who saw her with him and what they were doing. I hated him for that. The thing was, he didn't even really love her. He just wanted to use her.

I completely ignored Tanya's adolescent dribble, and I barely paid attention to my table's conversation. I tried to interact and keep from looking suspicious, but ultimately it was a wasted effort. I could see past the front she put in place. The later it got the more her mask began slipping. She began blushing more, and she looked emotionally tired and worn out. By the time I found her by the fountain, she was alone. Her eyes were closed, and her face was turned up to the sky. The deep red dress brought out the pale tones of her skin and made her look like an angel. However, when she opened her eyes and saw me, they were the same pools of chocolate brown that I knew. Seeing me she was just Bella. The mask was gone. When she smiled I was a goner, and I wasn't sure I would ever resurface.

That was the first night we spent together. When Bella asked me to stay with her, I couldn't say no. This brought me to the first of my revelations—I couldn't keep saying no to her. My will power was weakening. I wanted her. As it was, we only slept together, but if she had asked me to have sex with her, like she had several nights before, I still wasn't sure I would have said no. It was stupid. I had promised to tell her about Victoria before that. I didn't want her to find out about it afterwards and feel like a rebound. I knew that was what would happen, and she was anything but.

I sank to the ground in a back corner of the house's little garden. It was about the size of a normal New York apartment, which wasn't saying much. I pulled my coat closer around me to ward against the chilly night air. It seemed to be colder here than it was at the Palace, or maybe it was just me. Admittedly I hadn't been paying much attention during the drive here. I had been too busy defending myself against Emmett's humorous attacks and talking to a distant Bella to pay attention to how high up the mountainside we had come.

That was my second revelation. Bella was hiding something from me. Ever since we had woken up this morning it had felt like there was something she was trying to say, or wanted to say, but couldn't. It was odd. Bella had never been afraid to tell me anything. Quite the opposite, she could be rather outspoken when she wanted to be. She had been distracted during the car ride as well. She said her mother was pushing her toward Jacob, but I was sure that there was something else on her mind. She wouldn't tell me what though.

I rested the back of my head against the brick wall that lined the garden. It was mostly dark out, the only light coming from the glass door that lead to the kitchen and the stars overhead. It was quiet and peaceful; the only sound came from the muffled houses. Other than that you could imagine you were completely alone. Bella would like that.

From my position, hidden in the foliage, I could see her through the glass door. She and the rest of her motley crew where gathered in the dining room. It appeared that Emmett was telling some kind of story while he used grandiose gestures and expressions. I had seen it often enough to know. He must have reached the punch line because everyone erupted in laughter. Bella threw her head back, exposing the long column of her throat. Even from this distance I could see the sparkle in her eye. She was most like herself when she was surrounded by her friends. She didn't have to work so hard to keep herself sheltered and protected. She trusted everyone in that room and that freed her.

It struck me suddenly that they were complete. All of them, even Emmett, revolved around her without even knowing it. Jasper was her physical protector, doing his best to stand between her and the mortal things that stood to harm her. Alice and Rosalie would both bend over backwards to make her life a little easier. I didn't think Emmett realized it yet, but he was completely smitten with Rosalie. It was much more than his usual purely physical relationship. As such, he had fit himself seamlessly into their lives, becoming the goofy clown everyone loves. Cynthia was the little sister, moving along the edges of the crowd, still trying to find her place. Alice had told me she was leaving for college in the fall. I had no doubt that she would come back home a confident woman and place her own mark on the world around her.

Then there was me, sitting outside in the dark, watching the perfect circle. I was revolving in my own ways, I supposed. My revolution was disjointed, out of sync with the rest of them. A shiver shot up my spine. The stray thought had transformed into a solid image. If they were complete on their own, and I had already admitted that I didn't know what I was doing, then why did they need me? The cold suddenly seemed much more biting, and I tucked my coat tighter around me. I felt a little sick.

My attention had been pulled away from the house so I was surprised to hear the door open. "Edward?" Bella called. "Are you out here?"

She was standing in the doorway bathed in the gentle light coming from the house. Her arms were wrapped around her chest, warding against the chill. I thought about not answering her, and just letting her go back inside with the others. I couldn't do it, though. I craved her company too much. "I'm back here," I called softly.

She tried to peer around into the dark corner I was occupying. She must have caught sight of me, because her eyes lit up with recognition. "I'll be right back," she said, before going back into the house. She disappeared behind a corner and reappeared several moments later in a thick coat. She swiftly came back out the door and set off across the small yard towards me.

"What are doing out here?" she asked, crouching next to me in the snow.

"It just got a little loud in there." I shrugged. "It may be cold out here, but at least it's quiet."

"Do you want to be alone?" she asked. Her eyes were down cast. "I'll go back inside if you want me to. I know you've been with me all day, and you're probably tired of me…" Her voice held a hint of dejection that she was trying to hide.

I cut her off by placing a finger over her lips. She stopped and finally looked up at me, her brown eyes full of warmth. I couldn't have turned her away even if I had wanted to. "You can stay, Bella. I just needed some time to think, but I'm fine. I want you to stay."

"You're sure?"

I rolled my eyes and simply pulled her into my arms. She settled at my side, her head resting on my shoulder. Her fingers played with the buttons on my coat while mine did the same with the ends of her hair. It was amazing how easily we slipped into our bubble. It didn't take anything at all—just having her there was enough.

I knew what I had to do, but that didn't make it any easier. I needed to tell her the truth. It wouldn't do me any good to keep dragging it out. It was like ripping off a Band-Aid, take it off quickly and it would only hurt for a moment or so I hoped. I buried my nose in her hair taking a deep breath of her unique floral and strawberry scent. I pulled away and brushed a few strands out of her face. "I need to tell you something, and I need you to promise me that you won't do anything until I finish, please?"

Her brown eyes looked up at me, but it was too dark to read them. I could just barely see the outline of her face in the weak light that spilled from the house. She was silent as she studied me. It felt like an eternity before she answered, all the while I was anxious to know what she was thinking. "Okay, whatever you need. Are you all right?"

I rolled my eyes. _Typical Bella._ "I'm fine, really. Never been better."

She snorted as she turned to face me. "If that's so, then why are you out here in the cold and the dark?"

I laughed sharply. She did have a point. A normal person wouldn't have done that. Bella's small hand reached up and cradled my cheek gently and drew my eyes toward her own. "It's just me. I promise I'll listen before I make any judgment. Talk to me, Edward."

At her words, any tension I felt seeped out of my body. She was right, and I trusted her. She would wait for me. I took her hand from my face, but kept it trapped in my own as an anchor. "When I was in my first year at Juilliard, I met a woman. Her name was Victoria. She was two years older than I was and a mezzo soprano. We met at a school event. I was playing, and she was singing. After we finished, she came up to me and told me that my piece was amazing.

"Afterward, I started seeing her around school a lot. We would bump into each other coming out of classes or in the halls. Each encounter lasted a little longer. I remember wondering why. Victoria was beautiful; long bright red hair, slim figure, and legs that seemed to go on forever." I could hear the bitterness seeping into my voice. I didn't try to rein it in. I wanted it to be as clear as possible that I wasn't happy about the choices that I had made. "There was always a crowd of boys around her. She had one of those personalities—well not personalities—bodies rather, that made boys idiots, myself included.

"I was young and impressionable, and it made me stupid. When Victoria started showing an interest in me, I didn't think twice about it. I had gone from being one of the geekiest kids in school to having the hottest girl in school, and that was on top of my phenomenal grades. I was actually proud of myself. I was on top of the world.

"Victoria and I were together for four years. At first it was sort of surreal. After a while it became normal. Victoria liked to party, so I usually followed her lead. I followed her in everything. I would do anything she asked. I thought I was in love with her."

Hurt flashed across Bella's face so quickly I almost didn't recognize it. I gripped her hand that rested in my own tighter. I wanted to pull her into my arms and say that it would be okay. I couldn't though. I wouldn't lie to her. I had sworn to myself that I would tell her the truth, no matter how much it hurt. So instead, I stayed where I was sitting across from her with my only contact being her smooth fingers intertwined with my own.

"I thought I did. Emmett and my parents didn't like her. They tried to talk me out of it. They said she was only using me, and that she didn't really love me. Looking back, they were right, but I refused to see it then. Two years after we met, I ended up pushing my family away because I was convinced that they were wrong about her. Like I said, I was stupid. I was certain that they were wrong. That Victoria wasn't like that. Last winter I asked Victoria to marry me."

The hurt flashed across Bella's face again, only it lingered this time. She couldn't hide it so well. Her breathing picked up, and her eyes swelled with unshed tears. I immediately felt disgusted with myself. My own stupidity was now causing someone else pain. I loosened my hands that had been wrapped around hers. I was giving her permission to pull away if she wanted. I wouldn't have blamed her if she did. As it was, her hand remained in my own. I took it as permission to continue.

"I was happy for a time. I didn't see everything falling apart around me until it was staring me in the face. Sure, I didn't see get to see Victoria very much, even though we lived together. It wasn't unusual, I thought. I was about to graduate, and she was working on an opera. We were both busy. She was often short and upset when we were together. That happened right? I didn't think anything was wrong. I had pushed away most of my family away, so I didn't have them around to point it out to me."

I took a deep breath, prepared to admit the worst moment of my life. "I had finished with a meeting with one of my instructors early so I went home. I was going to surprise Vicky since she had the day off. I thought we might go to Central Park or something. When I got to the apartment, I found Victoria with another man. Turns out she had been cheating on me almost ever since the beginning. It was all a lie."

Silence engulfed us. Bella kept her eyes glued to her lap and refused to look at me. I needed to know what she was thinking about what I had done. She had to know, but that didn't mean anything wouldn't change. It had to. She had to realize I was running from the ruins of my failed relationship. She would probably want time to think, or she would figure out how damaged I was and tell me it was over. I didn't know what I would do then.

The silence finally got to me. I couldn't handle it any longer. I needed to know what she was thinking. "Say something?"

"What do you want me to say?" Bella didn't look up at me. Instead her gaze stayed right where it had been since I started talking. Her voice was so soft I could barely hear her.

"Anything." I sighed. "Please tell me what you're thinking?"

She was silent again. I felt a sense of hopelessness as I watched her. I was sure that I had lost her. Her quiet voice surprised me when she asked, "Why me?"

I blinked in surprise. "What do you mean?"

"Why did you connect with me? Am I like her?"

"You're nothing like her. Victoria is taller, she has red hair, and she's more commanding, and much colder." I paused and took a chance. I placed my hands on either side of her face and pulled her up to look at me. She had begun to cry and it broke my heart. This was my chance to prove that I saw her for her and not for some memory of my past. "You are warm, and sweet, and caring. You're beautiful in the best way possible, because you're you. You don't bother to fit the expectations laid before you by others. You are everything Victoria is not, and you're better for it. Bella, I…"

I paused and stumbled. I couldn't say it. Bella's eyes were bright and I could tell she wanted it. I tried, I really did, but in the end it just wouldn't come. I couldn't say it. It left me to vulnerable. I had told Victoria the same thing and she had betrayed me. I knew Bella would never do that, but I was afraid to put myself on the line like that.

Bella nodded slowly and I felt my heart sink. I had blown it. She would hate me after this. It was the end.

Bella always surprised me though. Just when I thought it over and done, she pulled me back in. She leaned forward and brushed her lips against mine in a sweet, reassuring kiss. I gasped in shock before gladly returning her affection. I tried to tell her how sorry I was that I screwed up that badly, and I couldn't even tell her that I loved her. I cradled her cheek and silently begged her to forgive me.

When she pulled away she resettled herself in my lap. Her arms wound around my neck while mine found her waist. I buried my nose in her hair—saturating myself in her wonderful scent and the feeling of her in my arms. Bella began playing with the hair at the nape of my neck. I felt myself release the tension I had been battling all night.

"I don't blame you, Edward." Her voice was stronger and more under control. "I do wish you had told me sooner, but I can understand why didn't. To be honest I think this Victoria is the stupidest woman ever. I really can't believe she gave you up. She's an idiot."

I grinned against the smooth column of Bella's neck. A certain vehemence had entered her voice when she began talking about Victoria. Her anger on my behalf was quite endearing. "Before tonight, Bella, I would have told you I regretted every moment of it. However, now I'm not quite so sure."

Bella pushed at my shoulders so that she could stare down at my face. Her eyes were bright again and untroubled for the most part. The slightest amount of light that surrounded us made her pale skin glow. It looked almost luminous. I became suddenly aware of our positions shrouded in the dark with her seated in my lap.

"So, what made you change your mind in just the last couple of hours?" she asked.

I smiled up at her beautiful face and deep eyes. "If I hadn't gone through all that with Victoria, I would never have left New York. That also means I would never have met you. I would much rather have you."

She blushed and ducked her head which only made her forehead hit my own. She bit her lip in a gesture I was quickly learning meant that she was trying to find the right way to word something. "Is it wrong to say I'm glad of that? Because I am. I'm already too far into this, Edward. I can't go back. It's stay here or go forward."

Well, she had just placed the ball firmly in my court. Technically, I had just fulfilled the only condition I had placed upon myself. I had told her about Victoria and she seemed to be mostly okay with it. Still, I needed her to understand that this was about more than just sex. Even with Victoria it had never been just about sex—at least on my part. On the other hand, I didn't know how to say that without just saying it. Bella was waiting for my replay though. "Bella, you're everything. I don't know how to describe it. I would follow you wherever you go."

I was going to continue, but I was interrupted by Bella's lips crashing onto mine. She greedily bit on my lower lip causing me to gasp. She took it as an invitation and pushed into my mouth with uncontrolled want. It only took me another moment to return her passion. I fisted my hands in her long brown hair and used it as leverage to angle her head back exposing her neck and throat. I trailed a line from her lips to her collarbones. Her hands first gripped my hair before they came to rest on my shoulders. She gasped and then moaned as I pulled a piece of her skin between my teeth. She had told me not to do this several nights ago, but I didn't think there was anything to be worried about at the moment.

Bella pulled me back up to her lips. This kiss was much slower and not as frenzied as before. It was deeper and more vulnerable. This kiss was the meeting of two broken souls finding ways to heal each other. In the darkness I was able to admit to myself at least that I was in love with her. It was an all-encompassing feeling and blocked out all other thought but the feeling of her in my arms. I couldn't tell her, not yet anyway, but I was going to do my best to show her. I would have to work up to the words. I think she understood anyway.

"Edward." Bella gasped when she pulled away. I covered her lips with my own, cutting off whatever she was going to say. Now wasn't the time for words. I wrapped my arm around her waist and drew her as close as I could. Unfortunately we were both still wrapped in thick coats so it wasn't as close as I would have liked.

Bella seemed to read my mind, because when she pulled away again, she climbed out of my lap. When she stood up she held out her hand. I gladly took it, and let her help me to my feet. Silently, she guided me back to the house. We must have been outside much longer than I thought. Except for the entryway light, it was completely dark, and there was no one to be seen. Everyone must have already gone to bed.

We both shook off our coats while the silence fell around us. However, it wasn't awkward or uncomfortable. It was completely natural. We both moved around each other with the grace of dancing partners. After we hung our coats in the small closet in the entryway, I pulled her into my arms, unable or unwilling to have her away from me, and rested my hands against her waist. When I pulled away, I was met with her wide, beautiful, brown eyes. Her lips were swollen, and she gasped silently. Her hands came to rest over my heart as we stared lost in a heated look. I wondered at the warmth of her gaze and the gentle thoughtfulness in it. I wanted the moment to never end, and yet, I also wanted to kiss her, make love to her, hold her, and never let go of her. How could I possibly have everything I wanted?

Bella pulled away again and took my hand. We traveled up the two flights of stairs to a small, dark hallway. There was a door to the right and farther down another one on the left. Bella guided me toward the latter and ushered me inside.

The furnishings were sparse, consisting of a large sleigh bed, a dresser, and a wingback chair. The single window was covered with dark curtains. Bella shut the door behind us and leaned against it. She was watching me when I turned to look at her. She appeared small and delicate highlighted against the dark wood. Her deep eyes watched me with equal amounts of nervousness and excitement. She looked oddly vulnerable standing there in a baggy pair of patched sweatpants and a holey t-shirt. She was completely Bella, and I had never seen anyone more beautiful.

I smiled gently and used her tiny hand that was still locked inside my own to pull her into my arms. Cradling her porcelain cheek in my hand, I bent to press a sweet, chaste kiss to her lips. My other hand settled at her hip, just the tip of my thumb slipping underneath her shirt to rest against her skin. Bella's arms wrapped around my neck and pulled me closer while deepening our kiss. I gladly gave into her demands and met her tongue with my own. The atmosphere around us felt charged and completely natural. This, whatever this was, was meant to be.

Slowly I allowed my hand to creep under her shirt. The skin of her stomach felt smooth like glass. I gently trailed the pads of my fingers up and down, brushing her skin with a barely there touch. Bella responded by fisting her hands in my unruly hair and tugging hard. I moaned into her mouth and shuddered.

Breaking away from her lips, I trailed down the side her neck. The hand that had held her face joined the other under her shirt. I skimmed up her ribs while she drew in deep shuddering breaths. Her head was tilted back giving me access to her neck. I kissed, licked, and sucked on her delicate skin, leaving red marks in my wake.

I quickly pulled away from her and tugged my shirt over my head. I tossed it into some corner as I reached for the hem of hers. Checking to make sure that this was okay, I followed mine with it. Bella's skin was the palest white I had ever seen. The ice blue of her lace bra only set off the creamy tones of her skin. She was the most beautiful woman I had ever seen. There was a simple innocence about her even though I knew I wasn't the first man she had been with. I stared at her in awe and completely forget that she was also watching me.

Bella's eyes were wide and vulnerable. Her face was red and the blush was spreading to the rest of her chest. She was adorably sexy even though she was obviously embarrassed. She had no reason to be. She was gorgeous. She was a goddess, and I wanted to worship her. Reverently I pulled her back into my arms and kissed her lips. I tried to express my unspoken words to her mouth. I cherished her beautiful body and her remarkable mind. I loved her.

Slowly the tension left her body and she melted into my embrace. I resumed my exploration of her chest, cupping both her breast in my hands. She shuddered and sighed when my mouth trailed down her neck to just over her heart. Her hands clung to my hips for purchase, and she was depending on me to hold us up. Quite frankly, I felt a little unsteady as I wandered the edge of her bra with my tongue.

"Edward." Bella gasped, her voice breathy and uneven. "There is a bed behind us."

"Oh, right," I muttered, ecstatic that she had given me permission to continue. I maneuvered us so that I could push her back onto the bed. I followed by climbing on top of her. I lowered my lips to her heart while Bella's hands roamed my back.

Bella arched her back as I began mouthing her nipple through her bra. Slowly I slipped my hands behind her and tried to undo the clasp. It took me a few moments of fumbling before I finally got it off her body. Bella's breasts were the same pale tones as the rest of her body and peaked by the hard rosy nipples. I brushed the pad of my thumb over one and Bella moaned. Her eyes closed and her head tilted back with pleasure. I lowered my mouth over her and I gently suckled her causing her to writhe under me.

Bella's hands left my back and traveled to my front. Her fingers trailed down my abs, sending electricity south. When her fingers brushed over the bulge in my pants it took all I had not to grind into her. As it was, I couldn't help but respond to her touch. If she was unnerved by it, she didn't show it. Rather it seemed to encourage her. She swiftly popped the top button of my jeans. My erection twitched and my jeans felt tight.

Still loving one of her breast with my mouth, I let my hand trail down her stomach to the top of her sweat pants. I stopped there, causing her writhe even more under me. Our chest both heaved with the attention we were showing each other, causing our bodies to tense. At this point the ending was inevitable. It was only a matter of time.

Perhaps in an effort to convince me to continue Bella released the last two buttons on my jeans. I pulled away from her long enough to discard the pants over the side of the bed before returning to her lips. Her breasts were crushed against my chest. I pressed my lips harder to hers while my hands stayed at her waist. Nothing I could do could get me close enough to her. In the dark of that room, surrounded by the feeling of her soft skin and her floral smell, the world had ceased to matter. The fact that we were from different environments and homes failed to matter. The only thing that did was her soft sighs and moans, the feeling of her underneath me, and the want I felt for her.

I finally gave into her sighed demands and tugged the sweatpants off her long, creamy legs. Bella was a vision under me. Her mahogany hair was stretched out over the pillows, a sea of brown against the white covers. Her eyes were dark and hooded with desire, her skin flush and shiny with a thin sheen of sweat. Her breast rose in an enticing way with every deep breath she took. I propped myself up on my elbows and stared down at her. I was in awe of her, wondering what I had done to deserve this. The trust she had placed in me to see her like this—this vulnerable, this open—left me breathless.

I kissed her lips again softly before resting my forehead against hers, allowing me to stare down into her eyes. "I want to be inside you." I breathed. "Please say yes?"

She nodded. "I was about to ask for that same thing."

A grin took over my features momentarily, and I pressed a quick kiss to her lips. It seemed I wasn't the only one affected by this. When I pulled away, we quickly scrambled to remove the last barriers between us. Bella lay back against the bed and I followed, my lips capturing hers again. We stayed that way for some time, becoming used to the feel of each other's bodies. Bella wrapped her hands around my erection and I moaned. When she began to slowly stroke me, I buried my face in the hollow between her neck and shoulder blade. The feeling was indescribable. I shuddered as her fingers brushed from base to tip and I released a groan.

I wanted, no needed, to be inside her. My hands brushed her curls to find her wet and swollen. I softly stroked her clit with measured purposefulness. Bella's eyes widened and her mouth opened in a prefect "o." Her hips bucked beneath me, seeking more of the fiction I was teasing her with.

"Edward, please." She gasped. I removed my fingers and moved to kneel over her. I pressed my forehead to hers, finding her burning eyes. They were alight with desire, and I lost myself in them. She lined my erection up with her entrance. Holding her hooded gaze, I began slowly pushing into her. She was tight and so hot. I closed my eyes and groaned at the feeling of her enveloping me in this most intimate way.

Bella stiffened, and I gave her a moment to get used to the feeling of having me inside her. Slowly her muscles unwound and she sighed. Her hands found their way back into my hair and she pulled softly at the ends. "I'm okay. You can go."

"You sure?" She nodded and rocked her hips issuing a moan from me. I placed my elbows on either side of her head and pulled just a short ways out of her before slowly pushing back in. Her wonderful heat pulsed around me, drawing me in. My lips found hers for just a moment before pulling away again.

It took a few starts and stops but we soon found our rhythm. Our sighs and moans filled the quiet space around us. One of my hands found her breasts again and began to pinch her nipples. Bella threw her head back and began panting harder, and I became lost in the smooth expanse of her pale skin and her brown eyes. My heart was racing, and I could feel hers doing the same through her chest.

Her eyes told me everything her lips couldn't. She needed me. She wanted me. She didn't know how this was going to work out any better than I did. She knew the risks we were taking. Here we could pretend to be normal, but when we got back to the Palace she was still a princess. However, for this one moment at least, it didn't matter. In the dark of this room, we were equals, lovers.

The most important thing I learned though, as I stared into her eyes while using my body to send us higher than we had ever been, was that she loved me. It was so evident I didn't know how I had missed it before. She was swimming in it. She probably hadn't told me because she was afraid to scare me off. That was fine, I wasn't ready for spoken declarations, but I tried to make it as clear to her that I felt the same, and that I would fight for her.

Bella hitched her legs up around my waist causing me to sink further into her. I began thrusting into her harder, increasing my speed. The coil in my stomach was growing tighter. I wasn't going to make it much longer and I wanted her to come. She was close but not close enough.

My hand left her breast and instead made it to just above where we were joined. My thumb made tight circles over her clit while she writhed under me. Her eyes closed and her body shook as she came with my name a chanted prayer under her breath. I steadied my frenzy pace, trying to draw out her pleasure but the feeling of her milking me was my downfall. I released into her with a grunt, the pleasure coursing through my body before I collapsed on top of her.

I had enough presence of mind to keep most of my weight off her. Other than that, I felt like a wet noddle. It took several moments of breathing in before I thought to pay attention to Bella. Her eyes were closed but a faint smile graced her swollen lips. I carefully pulled out of her and rolled us over.

Bella's head rested over my heart as I lay back. I was fighting sleep already and Bella looked well on her way there as well. I brushed a sweaty lock of hair out of her face. Her eyes opened for just a moment, finding my own. She smiled softly and then closed her eyes again. She was asleep within moments. The peaceful look that graced her face was the most beautiful I had ever seen.

I draped the covers over us, worried about the chill that was starting to creep into the room. I brushed my lips over her forehead and then followed her into unconsciousness.

* * *

Um, well, I hoped that worked for you. Isn't Edward adorable though!

Alright just a quick note I have made a playlist for this story. Music is a huge part of how I right and I thought you guys might like to look inside. The playlist can be found here, p/ 23636852491 just remove the spaces.

If you want to follow me on twitter it's everydaybella89 their's teasers and other goodies sometimes. Till next time!


	18. Crack the Shutters

**AN:**Hello again everyone! I bring you chapter 18, my second favorite of this whole story. Much love must go to my beta's State of Delusion and Batgirl8968 for their help. I don't own Twilight, but I do love to mess around with it's characters.

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**Chapter 18**

**Crack the Shutters**

_It's been minutes, it's been days_

_It's been all I will remember_

_I have been lost in your hair_

_And the cold side of the pillow._

_Your hills and valleys_

_Are mapped by my intrepid fingers,_

_And in a naked slumber,_

_I dream all this again._

_Crack the shutters open wide,_

_I wanna bathe you in the light of day,_

_And just watch you as the rays _

_Tangle up around your face and body._

_I could sit for hours finding new ways_

_To be awed each minute_

_Cause the daylight seems to want to you_

_Just as much as I want you._

_-Snow Patrol_

**EPOV**

I woke up to a warm weight draped across my chest. It took a moment to remember the events of last night. When I finally did, I relaxed back into the soft bed. Bella was sprawled across my chest where she had fallen asleep last night. In fact she hadn't moved much at all. Our legs were still tangled together, and her head was pillowed across my chest. The blanket had slipped at some point in the night, pooling around our waists and leaving the pale expanse of Bella's back bare. Her hair was tangled around her face forming a dark halo.

Weak sunlight was spilling through the curtains, illuminating the room in a soft glow. I hadn't gotten a good look at it in the dark last night. My mind had definitely been elsewhere which might have had something to do with it. In the morning glow I could see the room more clearly. As I had thought last night, the room was small. There was just enough room for a couple pieces of furniture; any more would feel crowded.

I sighed. The memories of last night were coming back, and while Bella was still asleep, I wanted to figure out what had happened. I had set out to simply explain my past with Victoria to Bella, and it had ended with me in bed with her. Not that that was unusual, we had done that the night before. This time we had fucked. No, fucked wasn't the right word. Not that a good fuck was a bad thing, but that wasn't what we did. Made love was a better term, although we hadn't told each other that. I was scarred by my past. I just couldn't come out and tell her I felt that way without really knowing that I did. I had tried to show her, and I think she got it.

While I was no virgin, I had never experienced anything like that. I had connected with Bella on more than a physical level. There was something more to last night; some spiritual or emotional feeling that had made it more than just sex. When I had held Bella in my arms, it was like I had known her my whole life. I knew what she needed and wanted, I knew how she felt when I grazed my teeth along her throat, suckled her breast, or stroked her folds. As amazing as the physical felt, it was nothing compared to the idea of knowing Bella's mind, heart, and soul.

I shifted that I could see Bella better. I gently brushed a strand of hair out of her face. Her eyes were closed and her pouting lips parted. The mask that she usually wore, the one that kept the rest of the world from seeing what she was thinking or feeling, was gone. Instead there was a perfect innocence its place. The worry, fear, and anxiety that so often plagued her were removed, and in their place was a calm serenity. In unconsciousness she looked even more like an angel than usual. She was beautiful, and I couldn't believe she was mine.

I began humming—the peaceful quiet lending itself to some impromptu composing. My fingers began tracing up and down Bella's spine of their own accord. Unsurprisingly, the first thing that came to mind was the piece I was working on for Bella, the one I had been stuck on for years. Until I had stumbled into her life, I hadn't even known what to do with it. Now it tormented me for other reasons. In the last two months, I had done more with it than I thought possible. Now it was almost complete. It just lacked a few finishing touches.

Namely it needed a theme. The song was all about Bella—her voice, her laugh, her impossibly deep chocolate brown eyes. Every note was all about her and reminded me of some other aspect of her that I adored. The problem was the piece still lacked something to hold it all together. It needed a story and not a random collection of cut up scenes.

I lay there enjoying Bella on top of me, testing notes on my tongue. My mind wandered back to last night, to holding Bella, loving Bella, watching her fall asleep. At that lingering thought I stopped humming. Two nights ago, when I snuck into Bella's room in the Palace, I had hummed this to her as we had fallen asleep. Now, as I watched her sleep, it clicked. The song was a lullaby, sweet and honest, with a tender, if heartbreaking end. I didn't know how I hadn't seen it to begin with. It was clearly a lullaby. It couldn't be anything else.

I played it on my lips several times and slowly it sank in—it was done. This single stupid song that had been haunting my every step for over ten years was finished. The sense of accomplishment I felt blossomed in my chest. I had finished it. There was an odd sense of deja vu. I was glad Bella was still asleep, because in my excitement a girlish giggle escaped my lips.

On the other hand, I really wanted Bella to wake up. It was her lullaby, and the victory felt only half complete because she wasn't there to celebrate with me. She was still asleep, oblivious to my excitement. She looked so beautiful and peaceful as she lay across my chest that I couldn't bring myself to disturb her either. It wasn't often she got to sleep to her heart's content, and that was what vacation was for. I let her stay the way she was, though I couldn't keep my hands off of her. I continued to trail her spine and trace indistinct patterns on to her back.

I hummed, silently begging her to wake up. It was selfish, but I couldn't help it. I was excited, and I wanted her.

Between the sound of my humming and my touch, Bella soon began to stir. When she finally looked up at my face her eyes were blurry and her hair was a haystack. It was absolutely adorable. I grinned at her and pushed hair out of her face. "Good morning," I said softly. "I'm sorry. I didn't mean to wake you."

She shrugged, her eyes leaving mine and trailing down my neck. "It's alright, I woke you up yesterday. No harm, no foul." She sat up a little, propping herself up on my chest. She rubbed her eyes with the palms of her hands, and when she finally looked back at me, her eyes were clear brown. She stared at me with a curious expression. Her beautiful face was calm and even, showing nothing that could help me tell what she was thinking.

"Are you okay?" I finally asked, worried. Last night had been a big step, and I didn't know what I would do if she regretted it.

She smiled slowly and nodded. "Much better actually. I just don't really know what to say. Last night was amazing."

I grinned lazily at her and was suddenly relieved. She just didn't know what to say, and I couldn't blame her. "The latter half of last night was amazing. I didn't enjoy what led to it though."

Bella's face fell. Her eyes grew wide and she looked shocked. "Oh, God, Edward. I'm so sorry. I didn't even think." She pushed herself up so that she was sitting next to me. She pulled the sheet around her chest, covering her nakedness. I fought the urge to pout. I had been looking forward to the view. "You told me about a very difficult time in your life, and then I jumped you. You must think I'm awful. I just didn't think straight. I'm so, so sorry…"

I sat up and kissed her, cutting off her rambling. She was being ridiculous, and I refused to allow her to continue degrading herself over something she didn't even do. I cradled her face to mine and softly kissed her. My tongue ran along her bottom lip, softly begging for entrance. She allowed it and melted into me. I could feel her unwind. Her hands remained tucked around her, still holding the sheet up, but she leaned into me, returning my kiss enthusiastically.

I pulled away from her lips, but tugged her into my lap. I wrapped my arms around her waist, holding her close in order to reassure her. "Bella, I told you last night that not over six months ago I was engaged. I was living with another woman. I'd just gone through a very bad break up when I met you. You would have had every right to push me away and tell me you never wanted to see me again. At the very least, I thought you would tell me we should slow down. Instead, you gave me the greatest gift—you. Do you realize how amazing that is? How could I dislike that?"

Her cheeks turned bright red, and I laughed. "You silly girl." She laughed then, and it was the greatest music I had ever heard. I kissed her again just for a moment before she pulled away again.

"I guess I'm just a little insecure." She sighed.

"You're ridiculous," I whispered against her ear before grazing it with my teeth. She shivered in my arms, her breath beginning to come in short gasps. I found her sweet spot behind her ear and sucked on it. Bella moaned and leaned her head back, granting me access to her neck. I was licking the base of her throat when I took the sheet out of her hands and unveiled her body. She shook as my fingers danced up her ribs to the underside of her breasts. I teased her with barely there touches, leaving her writhing in my arms. "What do you think now? Still insecure?"

"Um, aw, no, no, I don't." She shook her head, her long hair falling down her back like a dark wave. "Oh, Edward, don't stop."

I grinned against her neck. The beautiful sounds of her breathy moans filled my ears as I cupped her breasts. Her hard, pebbly nipples strained against the palm of my hand. Her breasts fit perfectly in my hands—a marvel I had missed last night. I lowered my head to draw one into my mouth. Bella cried out as her hands fisted in my hair. She shook as I suckled her, her floral smell enticing me farther.

When Bella began grinding against my thigh, I moaned. She was wet and so very soft. She was shaking in my arms, and her sighs and moans had given away to panting. Her head was thrown back, great breaths pulled into her lungs, which in turn pushed her breast farther into my mouth.

With one last suck I pulled away from her breast. Taking hold of her waist, I pulled her so that she was situated over me. My lips found hers again, and my tongue invaded her mouth. Bella's hips were rocking, seeking some kind of friction. I pulled her down on to me and slowly filled her. Her head tilted back and she sighed. We began moving together in an ageless rhythm. From this position, I could reach so far into her. I cradled her against me while we rocked together. Bella wrapped her arms around my neck, while my own found their way around her waist. Her eyes were dark and swam with emotion. The passion in them made my head swim and I began thrusting up into her. With each thrust of my hips I hit her moist sensitive spot. Before too long she was crying out every time I did. She wasn't going to last much longer and neither would I.

"Edward!" She gasped, her hands gripping the hair at nape of my neck. "Edward, please."

In response, my hands gripped her waist and began guiding her movements on top of me. Within just a few moments she came with my name on her lips. I followed not long after, releasing into her.

Bella slumped into me, and I only just managed to keep us up right. I couldn't keep the giggle from my lips, although I wasn't sure what I was laughing at. Bella looked up at me from where she had been resting her head. She looked confused, but amused none-the-less. "What's so funny?" she asked.

"I don't know." I shrugged and grinned down at her. "What were we talking about before I interrupted?"

She laughed, and I buried my face in the crock of her neck. Her sweet sent surrounded me. Bella began playing with my hair in the quiet that had again surrounded us. "I think you were explaining to me how I was ridiculous for being so insecure."

I grinned into her neck. "Do you believe me now?"

She giggled. "Just a little bit."

I shook my head. _Typical Bella._ "Well, then I will just have to continue convincing you."

"Um, I think I like the sound of that," she said.

We stayed there, locked in each other's embrace as the light grew brighter around us. I wasn't sure how long we remained there, but as the room brightened, I remembered what I had discovered this morning. I wanted to play Bella's Lullaby for her without an audience. If I was going to do that, I needed to do it now, before everyone woke up. I gently disentangled myself from her and got up. Striding across the room to find our discarded clothes, I told her, "Come on and get dressed. There's something I want to show you."

"I thought you just did." Bella laid back against the white covers, her hair a dark contrast to her womanly curves. I groaned as she winked at me. She was trying to entice me back to join her. I had to remind myself that I had something important to show her.

"You're incorrigible." I laughed, pulling my jeans on. _Don't give in to her. Don't give in to her._

Bella pouted at me. "I just got you. Forgive me if I don't want to give you up yet."

I sighed and sat on the edge of the bed while leaning over her. I smiled at her as I told her, "You're not giving me up, Bella. We'll be back here tonight anyway."

She rolled her eyes, but sat up anyway. The pout didn't leave her mouth, but I had a feeling she was just teasing me. The corners of her lips kept turning up, and her eyes sparkled with mischief. "Ugh, what do you want to show me?"

I laughed at her, and this time, she laughed with me. "It's a secret, but I promise I'll make it worth it. Now come on." I pressed a quick kiss to her lips and grabbed her hand in mine. When I stood up, I pulled her with me. It took us a few minutes to find the discarded remains of our clothes. Bella pulled a brush though her hair, untangling the knots last night's activities had placed in it. When she was done, it was still a far cry from the normally put together look she wore, but she didn't seem to mind, and I didn't care.

Taking her hand, I guided her silently down the hallway. It seemed like everyone was still in bed, and I wanted it to stay that way—at least for a little while. When we made it to the bottom floor, we found it empty, and I gave a silent cheer. I guided her toward the keyboard she had presented me with yesterday. I had been surprised when I realized that she understood me well enough to know that I would hate being without a piano. That she had thought about it was touching. To thank her, I had played for her all afternoon. It seemed to be a wonderful fortune now that I needed it.

Bella looked confused as I sat her at the bench. It certainly wasn't the first time I had played for her, but I was also sure that it was the last thing she had expected when I pulled her down here. I just hoped she wouldn't hate it.

I turned on the keyboard and posed my fingers over the keys. I risked a quick glance at Bella. She looked curious and open to whatever I was about to do. I felt a sudden spike of nervousness. What if she ended up hating it? I didn't think it was possible. She had already heard it before in a rough form, and she had said she had liked it then. Still, this song was nothing without her. If she didn't like it, then I didn't know what I would do.

Without giving myself time to second guess myself, I launched into Bella's Lullaby. The sweet opening chords easily fell from my fingertips like the second nature it was. As soon as I started, the butterflies that had settled in my stomach disappeared and I relaxed. I lost myself in the music that reminded me of the woman I loved.

The miracle of this singular piece wasn't lost on me. The song had been building for years, long before I met Bella. Perhaps it was destiny that had forced us together. I had always scoffed at such things, but maybe there was some truth in the idea. I couldn't imagine anybody better than Bella, anyone I would want more—emotionally and physically—than her. She had become everything to me.

Reverently, the airy notes drifted toward their inevitable, somber conclusion. Nothing about this was perfect or easy. Here in our little bubble away from the Palace, we could pretend to be normal. At some point, reality would have to set back in. There was a fragile strength in those notes, however. I would go to the ends of the earth to be with her. I would fight to be able to stay at her side. Whatever it took, I would do it. As the final notes rang out, I hoped and prayed that she would understand. All I was asking for was a chance.

I glanced over at her. Her face was set with shock as she stared down at my hands. Her fingers just lightly traced over the keys I had previously pressed. When she looked up at me, I found her eyes full of tears she was refusing to let fall. "That's the song you were playing that night in the music room."

I nodded. "I finished it while I was watching you sleep this morning." My voice was thick, and I tried to clear it, but it didn't do much good. "It's a lullaby."

"For me?" she whispered.

"Yes," I told her, conviction making my voice stronger. "For you, about you, whatever you want, Bella. It's yours."

Tears finally began escaping from her eyes, and I hurried to brush them away. She laughed shakily and clung to my arms. We were close enough that I could feel her breath on my neck. "I'm sorry," she said. "I don't know why I'm crying. No one's ever given me a song before. It's beautiful, Edward."

"Not as beautiful as you," I whispered. "But it is the purest explanation of my feeling for you."

She smiled, her eyes lighting up with recognition of what I meant. She brushed her lips against mine in a gentle kiss I would never grow tired of. When she pulled away she quietly asked, "Play it again?" I was only too happy to oblige.

I played it four times, stealing a kiss between each. By the time I was finished, Bella had curled up at my side with her head on my shoulder. As the final notes played one last time, I wrapped my arm around her and pulled her closer to my side. The new closeness we had developed was astonishing, and I never wanted it to end.

Unfortunately, Bella pulled away and stood up. "Come on. We have enough time to fix breakfast before everyone wakes up."

"You know how to cook?" I said as I followed her into the kitchen. A certain amount of disbelief had entered my voice. I had figured that she had always had cooks that did that for her.

"Way to give your girlfriend a vote of confidence, Edward." She grinned back at me with a wicked spark in her eyes. She knew what I had meant; I could see it in her face. She just wanted to tease me first.

"I'm sorry, Bella. I didn't mean to insult you." I leaned against the counter and watched her pull foodstuffs out of the cabinets. I got a good view of her rear end, and it was nice view. I wasn't complaining.

"I'm just playing with you." She winked at me over her shoulder before turning back to cataloging the contents of the cabinets. "When I was a kid, I would hide in the kitchens. No one would think to look for me there, so it became my favorite place to go when everyone was looking for me. Besides, Charlie couldn't cook so when I was there it was learn to cook or starve."

We laughed, but I had a serious question. "Why were you hiding?"

She turned to me and shrugged. "I was extremely shy as a kid—even more so than I am now. I hated to have any attention. It made me uncomfortable. I would have preferred to spend my days completely out of sight. Unfortunately, Mom and Grand-mere thought I should be at every event they deemed appropriate. This meant that at least every other day I was expected to appear at some court function or another. I was an oddity. I've already told you that. Anytime I was out in public people talked, whispered, and stared. I hated it. I would try to hide in order to avoid going. It worked sometimes."

Bella didn't look at me as she talked, and instead stared over my shoulder at nothing. Her eyes had filled with pain and she seemed to shrink in front of me. Her arms had wrapped around herself—holding herself together—like she was about to fall apart. My own heart ached watching her. She was in obvious pain and heartbreak, and it hurt to watch her and not be able to do anything about it. However, I was beginning to understand Bella much better by this new facet I had uncovered. She had been forced through a truly awful childhood. Rather than having parents who loved her and supported her no matter what, like I had, they had forced her into situations where she was clearly uncomfortable. The boil of rage I felt was nothing compared to the heartbreak I felt for her. That being said, if I ever got the chance, I would be having words with her mother.

"So that's the other reason you left when you went to school. It wasn't just Phil. You wanted to get away from all this as well?" I asked gently.

She nodded and finally looked up at me. "Yeah, that's true. It was really nice. I got to decide what I wanted to do and when I wanted to it. The first month I didn't go anywhere except for classes. Alice and Rose put a stop to that, but the fact still remained I got to make the decisions. I wasn't going to come back so soon. I was going to go to grad school. When Renee's call came though, I had to come back."

Bella had already told me about her mother's worrisome call. That she had given up her new found freedom for her mother told me a lot. I could no longer stand the pain in Bella's eyes, however, even though it was lessening. I crossed the small space and enveloped her in my arms. She sank into me, wrapping her own arms around me and pressed her face into my chest. "I'm sorry," I told her, rocking her back and forth gently. "Growing up like that isn't fair."

She shrugged. "It wasn't that bad. Grand-pere disagreed with them vehemently and would let me hide with him in his office sometimes. Those are some of my fondest childhood memories."

"Well, he sounds like someone I would like," I said, trying to lighten the mood. I hadn't meant to make her sad, and I wanted to make her smile. If her grandfather made her do that, then so be it.

"He and my dad are the two greatest men I have ever met—present company excluded." She grinned up at me, and I was glad to see her normal brightness had returned to her eyes. I smirked down at her, basking in her warmth.

"Whatever you say."

"Well, I do." She kissed my cheek before pulling out of my embrace and turning back to the cabinets. "Now, breakfast. Would you see if there's any bacon in the fridge and make it for me, please?"

As if I could refuse her anything. I dutifully began to follow her instructions, while she set about making pancakes. I couldn't resist teasing her while we worked together. I tried to splash her with water, but she saw me coming and dodged. I tried again when she told me to get a bowl so that she could beat the eggs, but she saw me reach for nozzle and dodged again. I gave up and settled next to her by the stove. I was supposed to be frying bacon, but I had forgotten about it in my quest to tease Bella. She was now watching the bacon as she refused to let me near it. She proclaimed that I was too immature to be allowed near hot grease.

When she turned her back to check on the pancakes on the griddle, I stuck my finger into the batter and then proceeded to place it in my mouth. Bella turned around just in time to see my face fall. Rather than the wonderfully sweet batter I had been expecting, it was tart and unpleasant.

Bella laughed at my stricken face. "Aw, poor baby. Did it not taste like you thought it would?"

"I thought it would be like cake batter." I pouted. "I used to steal licks from Esme when she made cakes. It had always tasted better. Nothing like that just did."

Bella shrugged unsympathetically and turned back to the stove. "Well that's what you get for showing off."

"You think I'm showing off?" I was trying to, but so far she had kept me from doing anything. However, I could see an opening forming. She wasn't going to get away from me this time.

"Yes, I do." Bella told me without turning to face me. "You think you're being cute."

"I'm adorable and you know it."

"No, I don't." The grin on her face that she was fighting told me otherwise.

Before she could think, I grabbed her waist and pulled her toward me. She shrieked as my fingers found her skin and began to tickle her. She tried to escape, but I kept a steady arm around her. Our laughter filled the small room.

"Stop it, Edward!" Bella tried to sound tough, but her shrieks of laughter marred it. She squirmed in my arms, almost making it out before I got my grip back.

"Never!" I answered, breathless. She tried to get away again, but I managed to keep a hold on her. We were really being loud, but I couldn't find it in me to care. I would do anything to hear her laugh.

"What. The. Hell." Bella and I promptly stopped, though we didn't part. We turned to find Rosalie and Emmett standing in the doorway. Emmett was staring at us blurry eyed, still half asleep, while Rosalie almost glared. I couldn't tell if she was mad or appalled. Her violet eyes studied us in our somewhat compromising position. I knew she had figured it out before she even opened her mouth.

"You slept with him?" she asked Bella. Disbelief colored her voice as she stared aghast at Bella. "Did you even think beforehand?"

Bella stiffened in my arms. I could almost feel her glare as she pulled away from me and went back to the stove. "That's my business, Rosalie, and I'd ask you to stay out it. If I did then it's none of your concern. Besides, you can hardly talk."

Rosalie looked taken aback, but she quickly caught her own stride. "I'm not the princess, Bella. You are. You can't just go around and sleep with anyone you like."

Bella spun around and her face was red, not in embarrassment for once, but in anger. She glared at Rosalie with that slow burning fire that I so loved. However, now I was slightly scared. I was wondering if I had ever seen her truly angry before. She was livid as she stared Rosalie down. "I beg your pardon, Rosalie, but you have no right to tell what I can and can't do. Whether or not I slept with him is not your business, and I would like it if you would keep your mouth shut. If you can't be happy for me, then I would prefer it if you would bug out."

I grabbed her waist as she made to move toward Rosalie. I was afraid she was going to hit her. Bella's face was almost purple she was so upset. She tried to fight me, but I had a good grip on her. I was right, I hadn't seen angry before now. To be honest, I was sort of pissed as well. What was Rosalie thinking? She was supposed to be Bella's friend, not her babysitter.

I was about to say something when Rosalie grinned triumphantly and turned to Emmett. He looked disappointed and pouted down at Rosalie. She held out her hand and told him, "Pay up."

I was confused, and evidently Bella was as well. Her body loosened in my arms, and she stared at her friend in disbelief. I, too, looked, trying to understand. I had a sinking feeling that we had just been played.

"But," Emmett whinnied like the big baby he was. "That wasn't supposed to happen. She was supposed to buckle, or he was supposed to get pissy and defensive. You knew this was gonna happen, didn't you?"

"That wasn't part of the deal, Em. If you were stupid enough to believe she was that docile, then you're an idiot. Not that it's news to me." She reached up and kissed his cheek quickly to soften her blow. "Don't worry. I'll make you pay me later." She winked at him and then turned to face us. "Good morning, Bella and Edward. Have a good night?"

I was certain Bella and I wore similar looks of disbelief and shock. She found words before I did. "Does one of you want to explain that to us?"

Emmett sauntered into the room and snatched a piece of bacon off a plate, stuffing it into his mouth. Rosalie went up to him and slapped his hand as he reached for another. I snickered at his pained expression and coughed into my sleeve in order to hide a laugh.

Bella pulled away from me and went back to the stove. "Rose, come on. Why did you just jump down my throat?"

Rosalie shrugged. "Emmett said that you were a sweet girl, and I told him it just hid the feisty, bad mouthed woman hiding underneath. He didn't believe me, so I bet him that I could make you mad. As you can see, I just won."

Bella shook her head. "Give me some warning next time, will you? I would have slapped you if Edward hadn't stopped me."

Rosalie shrugged. "It was good for you. If you two are going to do this, then you need to get some thicker skin. From your reactions, I would have known I was right without any problems."

"This is vacation, Rose." Bella grinned. "We can talk about this in a couple weeks."

Emmett caught my eye from across the room. He wagged his eyes brows comically and nodded toward Bella. He winked and grinned like a devil. I groaned. Emmett was just incorrigible. I had hoped it would take longer for them to find out what Bella and I were doing. Speaking of… "How did you find out what we did last night?"

"I can tell just by looking at you, Edward," Rosalie answered. "You're much less tense than before. There's also something new connecting you and Bella. I can see it."

"Seriously, Rosalie, you're going pull the woman's intuition card?"

"Yes, I am, Edward. Do you have a problem with that? And, by the way, you may call me Rose."

I grinned. I knew she only let those she considered her friends use her nickname. I was honored. I wanted to be familiar with Bella's friends. They had known her longer than I had, and I respected that.

"Besides, Eddie, Rose and I are right under you two. Trust me, we could hear you." Emmett grinned like a Cheshire cat. I grabbed a heavy wooden spoon and threw it at his head. He dodged, and we both laughed when it hit the wall with a loud clang before bouncing off the counter to land on the floor. Of course, this only made us laugh harder.

"Boys," Bella and Rose called at the same time. Emmett and I managed to calm enough to pay attention to our women. "Please don't throw things at each other?" Bella asked.

"And Emmett, please try to be polite. I know it may be difficult, but trust me, you're not as funny as you like to believe," Rose added.

Emmett pointed his thumb at her as soon as her back was turned. "She says that, but she laughs every time."

"Dream on, Mountain Man," Rose told him without turning away from what she was working on. Bella snorted, hiding a laugh, and I coughed, but it came out more like a giggle.

"You really gotta quit that giggly stuff, Eddie," he informed me. "It's not manly at all."

"Oh, trust me, Emmett," Bella said in a low, sultry voice. "Edward is completely manly."

I choked on the sip of water I had just taken, and Emmett's face fell. "Ew," he said.

Bella and Rose giggled at our shocked and stricken faces. "Sorry, but it was too good to miss." Bella landed a quick kiss on my lips before going back to work.

I smirked at Emmett and couldn't have been happier. Bella was mine, and my best friend was happy in a relationship with her friend. Life couldn't have been better.

Jasper and Alice made their appearance next. It was much quieter than Rose and Emmett's. They didn't even mention our amorous activities. Alice did shoot several knowing glances our way, and she did hold a mischievous spark in her eye, but other than that, it was morning as usual.

We were put to work by Bella. She was like a petite army sergeant ordering us around the kitchen. I was reduced to setting the table, the same job I had done when I was a kid. When I pointed this out to my dark haired goddess, she said it was punishment for my teasing earlier. I would have done it all again, but I didn't tell her that. Emmett of course joked around making the rest of us laugh. It was cramped in the kitchen with all of us squeezed in there, but the friendship between us kept it from feeling awkward.

Cynthia stumbled in as we finished cooking. She looked like a wreck. Her normally put together honey-brown hair was sticking out in all directions. She was still in her pajamas and she was walking like a zombie. I thought for sure she was sleep walking until she started talking. "God, could you people please stop talking and give me a cup of coffee."

She sank in a seat at the table and placed her head in her arms. I was worried about her, but Alice simply teased her. "Aw, poor Cyd. Did you have a bad night? Coffee is still working, honey."

"Of course I had a bad night. Emmett drank me under the table." Cynthia's voice was muffled, but I could understand her point. I had learned quickly not to engage Emmett in drinking games.

"How many shots did you take, Cynthia?" I laughed, although I did sympathize.

"Ten." She lifted her head and met my gaze.

I took the seat across from her and shrugged. "Well, you made it two more than I ever have. If I had been here, I would have told you not to."

"Wait." Bella placed a plate piled high with pancakes on the table and took a seat next to me. "What the hell where you doing drinking? You're underage."

"She's almost eighteen, Bella. There's not a lot we can do about that." Alice took the seat on Bella's other side and the rest of the group filled in the spaces. "Besides, I don't think she's going to be drinking again after this for a while."

"Aw, don't worry Cyd." Emmett grinned. "Just stick with me, and I'll teach you how to drink in no time."

Cynthia looked up then, and although she still looked like hell, there was a certain maniacal gleam in her eye. Through the haze of her hangover, it seemed she was still looking forward to beating Emmett. Poor girl, she didn't stand a chance.

"You most certainly will not, Emmett," Alice told him. It would seem Alice had serious ideas about her baby sister's drinking habits. Emmett merrily grinned and winked at her.

"So help me, Emmett, if I find out that you have, I will cut off your balls."

"No one is cutting off my boyfriend's balls except for me," Rosalie interjected.

"Could you all please stop yelling?" Cynthia moaned, her head again hitting the table.

I grinned. What had begun as a very peaceful morning was descending into chaos. I couldn't bring myself to care. Nothing could bother me with Bella's hand clasped tightly in mine under the table.

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**AN:** Aren't they just cute? For teasers and the like follow me on Twitter everydaybella89. For the musical playlist look here, I update it before every chapter, /p/23636852491. Lastly, leave me a review? I'd love to hear from you and I promise I won't bite!


	19. Better Days

**Author's Note:** So, I am so so sorry that this has taken so long! I have no good excuses so I won't give them to you. Just a big thanks to my very sweet beta's!

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**Chapter 19**

**Better Days**

_And you asked me what I want this year,_

_And I try to make this kind and clear,_

_Just a chance that maybe we'll find better days._

'_Cause I don't need boxes wrapped in strings,_

_And designer love and empty things._

_Just a chance that maybe we'll find better days._

_So take these words and sing out loud_

'_Cause everyone's forgiven now._

'_Cause tonight's the night the world begins again._

_-The Goo Goo Dolls_

**BPOV**

The afternoon light was seeping through the wide window in the living room. I was curled up on the couch with a book in my lap and a phone to my ear. My mother was droning on about something. I was only paying about half attention to her and half attention to my book. I really just wanted her to hang up so I could go outside and be with Edward and the rest of our friends. Unfortunately, I had to stay here and listen to my mother.

The last three days had been phenomenal. I was happier than I had ever been. Edward and I were inseparable. Everything about this had been wonderful.

The beginning had been a little rocky. The first night after dinner Edward had disappeared. I had found him sitting outside in the dark. I had been worried about him and was wondering if maybe he was regretting spending the night with me the night before. Instead, he was worried about something else. He begged me to give him a chance to explain. I had been a little shocked to learn that he had been engaged, and as recently as the spring. I hadn't known what to think about it. I hadn't imagined anything like it when I had thought he was hiding something from me. Part of me was mad. He had come here and pursued me like some kind of rebound. I had just discovered that I loved him, only to find out that he was still in love with an ex-fiancé. It was all I could do not to march back into that house and leave him out in the cold. However, I had promised him I would wait till until he was finished before I acted. So, I sat like stone and did my best not to cry.

I would be glad I did. Edward carefully explained how he found his fiancée, Victoria, sleeping with another man. Edward found her in their apartment and his world fell apart. My heart went out to him. It was clear on his face that he had loved Victoria, and would have been happily married to her now if it had worked out. Instead she had walked all over him. How could she do that to sweet Edward? If he had treated her anything like he had treated me—and he clearly loved her so I was sure she was treated like the princess I was—then he under no circumstances deserved that. Edward was as selfless as they came; he was quiet and sincere, open and honest, and completely wonderful. She was an idiot for giving that up.

That was what brought me to real anger. It wasn't directed at Edward, but at Victoria. She had won his heart, held it in her hands, and then crushed it. I hated her. I hated her for breaking his heart. I hated her for treating him like trash. And, I hated her for breaking him. Suddenly his actions toward me started making sense. The careful way he approached me, the way he constantly watched what he said, and most importantly, how he refused to sleep with me. He was afraid to get hurt again. Victoria had removed his innocence, broken his heart, and broken his spirit. I was no longer mad at him. I loved him and I couldn't be mad at him because something that made him happy had burned him. Instead I was livid with the one who had done that to him.

I was trying to think of a way to have her arrested and placed in my custody. Unfortunately, I couldn't think of a way to do it. She had probably never even heard of Edelweiss, much less been here, and that ended my jurisdiction. We didn't even have a version of the CIA where I could make her conveniently disappear. When I was queen, we would have to work on that. It was completely ridiculous and unjustified but I couldn't change the way I felt.

Edward begged me silently to forgive him, kneeling in the wet snow, having poured out his troubling past to me. To have done anything else would have been like kicking a puppy. I was still worried about some things. Mainly, did he see her in me? He said he didn't and that I was the opposite of her, and I believed him. I forgave him and I loved him—even if he didn't realize it.

I did the only thing that I could think of that would convince him I still cared and wasn't mad with him. I climbed into his lap and kissed him. I wanted him and I was tired of the barriers that always existed between us. I wanted to be with him. I didn't push him. I just explained that I was ready. Turns out he was too.

It was the best night of my life. Even just thinking about it now brought a grin to my face. Edward was amazing, and gentle, and intense. We may not have said the words, but every time felt like making love. It was so much deeper than just sex. It was fantastic.

Edward was much happier now as well. He had become a complete tease. He went through the house with Emmett wreaking complete havoc. His green eyes were lighter and more carefree. Telling me about Victoria had freed him and allowed him to be his true self. He was dorky and adorable. I fell more in love with him each day. He had even finished my song. It was a lullaby and he played it every day and sang it to me every night before I fell asleep.

I never wanted to leave, and it was only just now Christmas Eve, so we had plenty of time. We weren't going back until after the New Year. Still, reality was hovering on the horizon, as evidenced by my current phone call. We were going to have to start thinking about plans for after we returned to the Palace. I was waiting until after Christmas though. I was enjoying the peace too much.

"Bella? Bella?" My mother's voice came through the phone, breaking into my musings. "Bella, honey, are you still there?"

"Um, yeah." I shut my book and tossed it onto the couch next to me. "Sorry, my mind was else were. What were you saying?"

"Just that we were planning on attending the midnight mass tonight. I was asking if you were going."

"Oh, yeah, Alice and Rose thought it would be fun or something."

"Well, that sounds good." Renee paused for a moment before asking, "Are you okay, Bella?"

I couldn't keep a grin from spreading across my face even though Renee couldn't see it. "I'm great, Mom, really. I just have some things I need to do before tonight."

"Oh, of course!" Renee exclaimed. "I'll let you go. Merry Christmas. Call me tomorrow."

I told her I would and hung up the phone. Sighing, I sank into the cushions. I needed to go pick up Edward's Christmas present before the shops closed. Now was as good a time as any.

The air outside was nippy and the wind was harsh, but the sky was a clear, bright blue. It had snowed pleasantly for the past three days since we had been here, creating perfect sledding conditions. Alice and Rose were laughing as Emmett and Edward crashed the sled at the bottom of the hill. I giggled as they got up and brushed snow out of their hair.

Jasper, who was sitting on the bottom step, looked up at me when he heard me giggle. "They've been doing this all afternoon. Alice, Rose, and Cynthia have been showing them up. What did your mother want?"

"To be honest, I have no idea. I had other things on my mind." I sat next to him. "I'm going to go to the shops and would like a security detail that blends in, please?"

He grinned. "I'll see what I can do."

"Bella!" Edward swept me off my feet out of nowhere. He spun me around in his arms making me shriek with surprise. "Come on. You have to try this!"

Edward put me down and grabbed my hand, pulling me toward the sled. His hair was wet from the melting snow and his cheeks were pink. The green of his eyes were bright and his grin was wide. I was tempted to go with him, but I knew if I did I would never get anything done. "No wait, Edward, I can't. I've got to go pick up a few things. I'm sorry."

"I'll come with you." He shrugged, the grin never leaving his face.

"No, I'll be fine. You stay here with Emmett and Jasper."

He stuck out his bottom lip in an adorable pout. He even batted his eyelashes like he was about to cry. I could see the mirth in his eyes, so I knew that that wasn't going to happen. It was easy to see how he and Emmett had gotten away with so much as kids. With a face like that, how could you punish him?

"Stop it." I swatted his chest, laughing. He grinned, before joining me in the laughter. "You and I have been together ever since we got here. I think I'll be fine just running to the shops and right back. It's not like Jasper won't have guards. Besides, Alice and Rose have been dying to get me alone for days. It's better to not keep them waiting."

He shrugged apparently unconcerned. "Be that as it may, I'm still willing to go with you if you want."

If I hadn't been going to pick up his Christmas present, I would have taken him up on the offer. As it was, I almost said yes anyway, until my better judgment stepped in. I wanted it to be a surprise. That would be ruined if he came with me. I gave him a quick kiss on his cheek to soften the blow. "You're sweet. I'll be back in about an hour and a half."

He let me go, and I turned to face Alice and Rosalie. Both of them looked far too happy about this. I stifled a groan. There was a reason I had put this off for so long. This was going to be hell. Alice and Rose were going to want every detail—most of which they were not getting. What happened in Edward's and my bed, stayed in our bed. "Come on, let's go." I sighed.

They at least remained silent until we left the street. As soon as we rounded the corner on to the main square, they pounced like a pack of wild wolves. "So, how has Edward been?" Alice drew out every word into a sing-song tune. She locked our arms together and begged me to explain everything that happened to Edward and me since we had gotten here.

I sighed heavily so that they would know just how much they were putting me out. Not that they would listen. "Edward is amazing, really and truly amazing, and that is all I'm going to tell either of you."

"Aw, please?" Alice begged. "Just one juicy, little detail. It doesn't have to be anything big."

Rose snorted on my other side. "Or maybe it is something big?"

I blushed so red that I was sure anyone walking by us would know what we were talking about. I fought the urge to stop walking and bury my face in my hands. _Ugh, why was this so awkward?_ "Rose, I am not going to dignify that with a response. Alice, no. You of all people should understand why I'm keeping my mouth shut."

Alice nodded. "Fair enough. At least tell us what changed. Last I heard you and Edward weren't quite to that point yet."

"Well, we weren't too far off. We did sleep together the night of the State Dinner."

"Wait," Rose interrupted, sharply. "I thought the first time you two fucked was our first night here?"

"Ugh, Rose, don't call it that," I snapped. "But, yes it was. The night of the dinner we just slept."

"Boring." Rose snarked.

"I don't want to hear it, Rosalie. You fell asleep on the couch last night curled up on Emmett."

Alice giggled. "She's got you there, Rose. Now back on track, what happened next, Bella?"

I explained to them some of what Edward had told me. I briefly told them about Victoria, without going into much detail. I only told them that he had been engaged to her and that she had cheated on him. I didn't tell them how he found her, or how recent this was. I wasn't going to betray his trust like that. It had been hard enough on him to tell me. I didn't think he was ready for anyone else to know. I kept everything as vague as possible, and when they asked for more, I told them no. I knew they would never tell anyone. That wasn't what I was worried about. I just didn't want to tell them without Edward's permission.

They both felt sorry for him, but failed to see how that had changed anything. Rose, in particular, was confused. "I don't get it, Bella. So this bitch broke his heart, boo hoo. I still don't see how that made you two have sex. Tell me you just didn't give him a sympathy shag?"

"No, Rose." I rolled my eyes as I pushed open the door to the quaint, little bookshop we had come across. My security detail had already cleared the store and one of them quietly took the door from me. "He confessed everything to me. He thought I was going to hate him. That's why he wouldn't take anything between us too far. He didn't want to hurt me. He's the sweetest, gentlest, most caring man I have ever met. I'm in love with him, Rosalie."

Alice squealed and threw her arms around my waist. "I knew it! I knew it! I knew it! Have you told him yet?"

"No." I shrugged, secretly thrilled that she was this excited. It meant that she liked him enough to think he was good for me. Rose looked a little shocked and hadn't said anything yet. I didn't know if that was a good thing or a bad thing. "He just came out of a harmful relationship, where he was completely devoted to someone, and he's not ready to do it again."

"That's true, I guess." Alice was nullified for the moment. "Don't you just love the feeling?"

I bit my lip as I began browsing through the bookshelves. A blush crept up my cheeks and Alice grinned. "Okay, yes, I do." I finally caved in. "I'm exhilarated, and scared, and worried, and completely happy all at the same time. How is that possible?"

"It's a little crazy at first, but things will settle down. Just hang in there." Alice kept my arm and steered me down the hallway. The sweet, musty smell of old books filled my nose, making me think of home and the quiet libraries I would hide in as a child.

Rosalie, however, just had to be a drama queen. I could feel her steaming behind me. "Have you thought about this, Bella? You and Edward maybe helplessly in love, but reality doesn't change. You may not want to hear it, but you're a princess. You can't just go around acting like everything is fine. This isn't good for either of you. You can't just keep living with your head in the clouds."

I may not have been surprised at Rosalie's curt words, but evidently Alice was. She spun around to face Rose, her face red and her eyes dark. "Rosalie Lillian Hale, how could you? Bella's happy for a change. Couldn't you stop thinking about yourself for just a moment? Besides, you can hardly talk. You and Emmett have been going at it like rabbits for two months. Everyone in the palace knows it. You've hardly kept it a secret, Rosalie."

"It won't make a difference, Alice," she snapped. "I'm not going to rule the country someday. Bella is, and because of that, she has to retain some kind of decorum. Edward may be sweet, but he's hardly ruler material. This is just a fling, and it can never last."

This time Alice's face went purple. She looked absolutely livid. She was staring at Rose with a kind of hatred she usually reserved for those she didn't like. This wouldn't end well if I didn't step between them. "Alice, just leave it. Rosalie, I understand your point, really I do. This is a less than ideal situation, I will admit. It's especially scary for me with my parents history. On the other hand, Rose, the thought of not having him—of pushing him away—physically hurts. You're right; this is dangerous, not just for me, but him as well. It could ruin his reputation if this got out, but what other choice do I have?"

Rose lowered her head and looked properly abashed. I knew there was something else going on here, but the trick was getting her to admit it. I had to push the right buttons in the right order, and if I messed up, it would be a while before I could try again. "Really, Rose, it's not like you and Emmett. You have a lot more freedom than I do. To be honest, I'm jealous of you."

"Why?" Her voice was soft and just under a whisper.

"Because—" I shrugged, unsure how to explain this to her. "Because, you're completely free. You're not restricted the same way I am. You can be with someone like Emmett in the open. You make a scene, and sure, it's not proper, but it's not outlawed either. Things could go either way for you. You don't even know that you're going to inherit your family's title. You could do anything you want. That's the one thing I really desire, Rosalie."

"I'm sorry." Rose really did sound regretful. We had stopped in the middle of an aisle stacked with leather bounds books. No one could see us here except for the two bodyguards who had followed us. "I didn't think. Doesn't change the fact that I'm right .You two are in quicksand. Besides, getting everything you want isn't everything it's cracked up to be."

"What's really going on, Rose?" Alice had calmed down. She never stayed angry for long. She figured out that there was something else going on under the surface.

Rose shrugged. "There's nothing going on, Alice. What makes you think that there's something wrong?"

"Only that you didn't get mad until Bella finally admitted that she was in love Edward."

"That doesn't mean anything."

"Oh, please, Rosalie." Alice rolled her eyes. "You're as readable as a book. Things are getting serious with Emmett, you're scared, and so you're taking it out on Bella—because she's getting serious and you can't handle it."

Rose didn't deny it, and Alice and I grinned. It was the night of the Fall Ball all over again. "Really, Rose, you and Emmett are great together. What's the problem?" I asked.

"I've never been in a serious relationship, Bella. You know that." She crossed her arms across her chest and leaned against the shelf. "Emmett's great—he's funny, and easy going, good in the sack, and I really enjoy it. I like Emmett, but I don't want to mess it up. Besides, Emmett's a goof ball. How is he going to handle serious?"

"Edward says that Emmett is a lot smarter than he looks." I smirked. "I really think you'll be fine, Rosalie. You can't keep going causally forever anyways. Just relax and take it naturally. Don't push it. It'll come."

"She's right, just be yourself. You'll be fine." Alice reached out and gave Rosalie a hug. Rose hugged her back and looked much calmer for it. "Alright, Bella, where's this present?"

"I had it shipped in. We'll have to go to the front desk to get it."

"Then why are we here?" Alice asked, confused.

"Because it's an old bookstore," I told her, as if she should have known this already. She had only been around me for twenty-two years. I loved old bookstores. There was just something about them. They smelled like memories and dust, and were warm and cozy.

"Gee, where have you been all our lives, Alice," Rosalie said, much to the same affect.

"Okay, okay, I know," Alice muttered. "Stupid me. Can we go now?"

We moved back toward the front where there appeared to be a tiny room built into the wall. There was a cut out facing the shop, which the shopkeeper sat behind. When we approached, the old man bowed his head respectfully. "How can I help you, My Lady?"

"I had a package delivered here last week. I need to pick it up, please?"

He turned to the wall behind him, which was covered with shelves of books all with slips of white paper attached with rubber bands. He pulled a brown book off one of the higher shelves and brought it to me.

Wordlessly, I pushed the rubber band off and inspected the leather cover. The rich brown color reminded me of tree bark. It was glossy and smooth, except for where it was embossed. It had been a rush job, but it was still a magnificent piece of art. I had ordered my family's crest pressed into the upper right hand corner, a fleur-de-lis and underneath a wreath of edelweiss. In the middle was a large lion standing on its rear legs, roaring. Under its paw was a long music pipe. In the lower right corner—and much smaller than any of the other markings—was my own crest.

Thrilled with the cover, I opened the book to find crisp white pages lined with musical bars. The bars were empty, waiting for its future owner to fill them. I was sure he would have no problem.

I paid for the music book and the store clerk wrapped it in brown paper. I was excited about my present. I was going to surprise him after we got back from midnight mass. I hoped he would like it. I was taking a risk by designing him a crest and placing my own with it. I was taking a leap of faith and hoping I was going to land on soft ground.

Alice, Rose, and I set off back toward the town house. Snow was beginning to fall gently and re-coated the streets. Alice and Rose were discussing their own Christmas presents. It seemed Alice had gotten Jasper a new history book collection. Rose had gotten Emmett an iPad. She was tired of having him complain about not having a TV. He really was a big baby.

Just before we turned onto the street, Rosalie grabbed my arm. We stopped and she turned to faced me. "Look, about what I said earlier," she said, looking me in the eye. "I didn't mean it and I'm sorry. I still think you need to be careful, but, for the most part, I was nervous about my own relationship, and I was taking it out on you. I'm sorry."

I smiled and gave her a hug. "It's okay, Rose. I understand, and you brought up a good point. I think we should sit down and talk about this, but not until after Christmas."

They both agreed with me. We were going to need to set some contingency plans in order to hide what Edward and I had begun. I was smart enough to realize this. I didn't necessarily like the ideas that were forming in my mind, but they end up necessary to keep us both safe. Alice and Rose were surely thinking the same thing as well. They would think it a good idea as well.

I pushed it all to the back of my mind. I didn't want to think about real life, about how I would have to bury everything I felt as soon as I got home. In fact, I was dreading it. So, I forced myself not to think, and turned back toward the townhouse. I could still see Emmett and Edward out on the street, although now it looked like Jasper had joined them. Emmett had an American football, and he and Edward were trying to teach Jasper how to play.

I grinned and started toward them. This was what I wanted, a family who cared for each other, loved each other, and had fun together. What wouldn't I give just to stay here and not have to go back to the Palace—back to my sheltered life. I shrugged off my worries and set off back down the street, ready to get back to vacation.

The cathedral gleamed. The stained glass windows clouded the night sky outside, but I could imagine it was as beautiful from that side as it was here. The light would shine out through the windows—more than bright enough to light the street outside. It had stopped snowing earlier in the evening and everything was coated in pure white. Usually by now I was sick of snow, but with the season I was having I couldn't be happier with it. The snow was fresh, beautiful, and new. It symbolized everything I was feeling at the moment.

The source of that feeling was sitting on my right. Edward had my hand clasped in his and resting on his lap. I was fairly certain that he was paying more attention to my fingers than to the priest speaking mass. Although, as he was speaking French, I wasn't sure Edward understood him anyway. I was trying to teach him a little, but he wasn't ready for anything like this. I didn't think he really minded however. He seemed perfectly content to play with my fingers.

On my other side, Jasper, Alice, Rose, and Emmett filled in the rest of our pew. We were sitting near the front of the church. Jasper had insisted, saying it was safer. Of course, it also meant that everyone in the building could see and know who I was. I bore it with good grace, but I was ready to be gone. Fortunately, it was only a few minutes till midnight. The service was almost finished and then we could head home. I was anxious to give Edward his gift, and I was tired. I was ready to curl up in my warm bed with Edward and sleep until morning.

I stifled a yawn. Edward turned to look at me, a question in his sparking green eyes. I shook my head, letting him know I was fine. He grinned and gave my hand a squeeze. Tilting his head closer to my own, he whispered in my ear, "At least you know what he's saying. I'm kinda in the dark here."

I pressed my lips together in order to hide a smile. "Sorry. Trust me, you're not missing anything. It's really rather boring."

"The music was good." Edward shrugged. "The girl who sang the Ava Maria was prefect."

Well, it seemed he had enjoyed something, not that it was very surprising. Although the entire service had been in French, he had known enough of the songs by sound only that he was able to sing along. I'd learned that he was a baritone and could sing almost as well as he could play. I was just going to listen to him until he shot me a look that told me "no." It seemed I wasn't to just listen to him. "Sure, amazing. Maybe you should go find her after we're done and take her to get a drink. I'm sure she would love that." I teased.

"Um, maybe I should, but then, I am with the most beautiful woman in the building. She might not be very happy with me."

"Is she very jealous?" I asked, curious as to how he would answer.

"I don't really know. We haven't been together very long. I'm still learning all the particulars. She doesn't strike me as very jealous. However, her two friends have threatened to castrate me if I break her heart."

I tried not to snort. It didn't surprise me at all that Alice and Rose had threatened him. They would have threatened anyone I may have even become remotely involved with. I liked it. It showed they cared—even if they did get on my nerves occasionally. I was fairly certain Edward could handle it anyway. "I think I know these friends you're talking about," I whispered. "Trust me, they're all talk."

"I don't know about that. They look pretty scary." He glanced down the pew at Alice and Rosalie—both dressed in their finest, with smiles on their faces. They looked angelic sitting there under the bright lights of a Christmas Mass.

"Terrifying," I muttered in agreement. We both tried to stifle our giggles. Not that it did much good. Everyone on our bench shot glares our way, and I was fairly certain everyone within a five-pew radius was staring at us as well.

"You do realize," Edward told me as my cheeks turned red. "That everyone is now looking at the Princess and her special new friend cutting up during the sermon?"

"You started it." I hissed. He merely grinned, completely un-sorry for it.

The church bells finally rang, marking it midnight and Christmas day. The chorus led us in _Joy to the World_ before the priest delivered the benediction and wished a Merry Christmas to everyone before dismissing us. The audible sigh was almost universal as everyone stood and turned to their family and friends. Edward and I didn't miss the grins and snickers pasted on our friends faces.

My security detail herded us out of the building and back to the empty streets. We had decided to walk here rather than drive. It was only around the corner after all. The air was crisp and cold, and the sky a black velvet drape dotted with tiny diamonds. Everything felt fresh, new, and wonderfully alive. I could hear people wishing their neighbors a merry Christmas and children laughing. The farther from the town center we walked the quieter it got. I was with the five people I counted as family on a beautiful Christmas. I couldn't have been happier.

I grinned and grabbed Edward's hand. He laughed when he saw the blissed-out look on my face. He spun me around in a twirl, which only made me stubble into him. I think that was his plan, because when I did, he wrapped his arm around my waist and held me close to his side. I didn't bother fighting him, as it was just what I wanted as well. Instead, I wrapped my own arm around his waist and cuddled against his side. It made walking a little difficult, but it was worth it.

"So, one thing I've learned tonight," Emmett announced. "Is that normal people like Bella. Those rich snobs need to get their noses out of their asses."

"Of course normal people like Bella," Rosalie told him. "She's just like them. Her father was American and common. They love her for it. Besides, what gave you that idea?"

Emmett shrugged. "It's just the way they acted. They bowed, they were polite, they didn't talk behind her back, and—most importantly—they didn't look down on her."

"Since when have you read body language?" Edward asked, a smirk firmly planted on his face.

"I can read body language," Emmett told him, sounding affronted. "I'm not stupid."

Edward snorted. "Could have fooled me."

As cute as their banter was, I didn't want this descending into the two of them arguing. I knew how easy that could happen. "Just ignore him, Emmett. Yes, the normal people in Edelweiss do like me. They see me more like them than like the aristocrats. That is true enough."

Edward gave my side a gentle squeeze in support. He knew how it hurt to be so set apart, to not fit anywhere. I leaned up and gave him a quick kiss on his cheek in thanks. I wasn't sure what I had done without him, and I didn't know what I would do when I lost him—if I lost him.

"That's why Phil is so afraid of her," Alice spoke up, and I groaned.

"I thought Phil just didn't like Bella?" Emmett was now confused.

"The common people don't like Phillip and he knows that," Jasper carefully explained. "However, they adore Bella. He knows, if it ever came down to it, they would side with Bella not him. He is terrified of what the normal people could do, which in turn makes him afraid of their idol, Princess Isabella Swan."

"Well, I think they're pretty smart." Emmett shrugged. "You're cool, Bella."

I blushed and ducked my head against Edward's shoulder. "Thank you, Emmett," I muttered. I wasn't quite sure how to reply to that comment.

Alice took several steps ahead and turned around to face us. A grin was spread across her face, her eyes were bright, and she was happy. "Do you ever just wish we could live here?" she asked. "It would be so much easier. Although, I do think I would miss all the parties."

"You're the life of the party, Alice," Jasper told her. "They would be the ones missing you."

"Awe, you're so sweet." She grinned and threw her arms around Jasper's neck. She was small enough that he could have carried her like that. He didn't, instead he put her down, but kept her close. It was wonderful to see my friends happy with their partners. Alice and Jasper were promised and would probably be married within the next couple of years. Rosalie had Emmett, and they were getting serious if what she told me was correct. She wasn't usually in serious relationships, so the fact that she was admitting it was a good thing. I was happy for them. They deserved it.

"Yes, Alice, I do just wish we could stay here." I sighed. We were coming up on our doorstep, and I had a feeling we were all going to crash as soon as we got through the door.

I unlocked the door and we all filed inside. Cynthia was on the couch, having decided not to go to mass with us. "Merry Christmas!" She greeted as we walked in. Alice immediately went to join her sister, excitedly describing the service and ignoring Cynthia's eye roll.

"I'm tired. We're going to bed," I announced. Emmett made a couple rude gestures, which Edward then flipped him off for. I sighed. "Merry Christmas, everyone."

They chorused Merry Christmas back to us as I dragged Edward up the stairs and into our bedroom. As soon as we were there he gathered me into his arms and gently began pressing kisses along my neck. I wrapped my arms around his neck and basked in the warm, protected feeling of being in his arms. It had become almost a nightly ritual, so it took a moment for me to remember that there was something I wanted to do. Quickly I pulled away, but took his hand and guided him toward the bed.

I pulled a brown paper wrapped package out of my bed stand and then sat in the middle of the bed. Edward looked confused, but slid in next to me wordlessly at my invitation. Placing the package in his lap I told him, "This is for you. Merry Christmas, Edward."

He looked a little shocked as he fingered the paper wrapped around the present. "You got me something?"

I nodded, even though I could feel a blush creeping up my face. "I thought it was something you might like. If you hate it don't be afraid to say something. We can always go back to the drawing board."

"I'm sure I'll love it." He smiled and leaned in to kiss my lips. "It's from you, how could I not?"

I was really blushing now. He was too sweet and he knew it. "Oh, just open it," I muttered.

He grinned like the cat that caught the canary. _The smug bastard._ He carefully tore the paper, revealing the heavy, brown book I picked up this afternoon. I couldn't read his face as his eyes were closed off. He was studying it rather intently, his fingers tracing the raised edge of the lion and the other two crests. He hadn't opened the book yet.

When he looked back at that me there was a little confusion in his face, though mostly it was curiosity. "What are these?" he asked, motioning towards the effects on the leather.

"This one is my family's royal crest," I told him. "And this one is my personal crest. The one middle I had designed for you."

His green eyes widened in surprise. He was speechless for a moment as he traced the edge of the rearing lion reverently. "Why a lion?" he finally asked, his voice just above a whisper.

"In heraldry, lions stand for fierceness, strength, and protectiveness. They were all things that reminded me of you." I shrugged. "And your hair is almost the same color as a lion's mane and just as un-tamable."

He rolled his eyes, but grinned all the same. "Like I haven't heard that before. Why the pipe?"

"There are no real signs for music, and I didn't like the few that had to do with the arts. So, I had them add in a musical pipe to symbolize your musical talent. I didn't quite think a piano would go very well with the lion."

"Probably not." He chuckled. His fingers traced around my crest. "Tell me what yours means."

I groaned. I figured he would ask that. "Okay, fine. Just please bear in mind that it was designed when I was three."

He smiled gently and enclosed my hand in his own. I moved so that I was sitting closer to his side and pointed out what I was talking about. "The tree stump with the branch coming out of it means new life. It's surrounded by a crown of thorns which means adversity."

"So, new life from adversity?"

I nodded. "They meant the whole scandal with my parents. None of them really knew what to put on it and that was what they came up with. Grand-pere hated it. He made them add the edelweiss on the wreath."

"What do they mean?"

"Daring and noble courage."

He stared at me in awe. I didn't know what he found so shocking. I didn't think it was that great at all. "That's amazing, Bella." He finally gasped.

"Why?"

"Because that's perfect—daring and noble courage. If you see me as a lion then I will forever see you as edelweiss." He grinned at me, although I couldn't say why. I didn't think it was all that special. It was just something made by someone who didn't even know me. It was as impersonal to me as my country's history was to him. I just didn't understand what he was going on about.

He laughed at my confused face. "Oh, Bella, you're ridiculous. Thank you, I really do love it. I think I even know what I'm going to write in it first."

"Which one?" I asked breathlessly, caught up in the jubilant expression on his face.

He reached over to the table, grabbed a small bright colored package and a pen. The package he handed me, and the pen he took the first page of the new book. I looked over his shoulder as he wrote in a clear flowing script, _Bella's Lullaby_.

I gave up on the present in my lap and attacked his lips. Edward removed the package and placed it and the book to the side. He pushed me back so he was hovering over me. I started popping the buttons on his shirt; more ready to get to his skin.

"Bella, you haven't even opened your present yet." He gasped.

"I'm unwrapping a better one," I told him cheekily.

"Merry Christmas, Bella." He grinned, and started on my neck. I wasn't able to get another word out all night.

* * *

**AN:** Well, that worth it? I hope so!

As always, you can follow me on twitter everydaybella89 for teasers and such. I'll try not to take so long next time!


	20. Between Two Lungs

**AN:** Okay, I know, I suck at updating. So sorry. Much love to my beta's. I don't own Twilight. Now go read.

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**Chapter 20**

**Between Two Lungs**

_Gone are the days of begging,_

_The days of theft,_

_No more gasping for a breath._

_The air filled me from head to toe_

_And I can see the ground far below._

_I have this breath and I hold it tight,_

_And I keep it in my chest with all my might._

_I pray to God this breath will last,_

_As it pushes past my lips as I dance…_

_Cause it was trapped,_

_trapped between two lungs._

– _Florence and the Machine_

**BPOV**

The next week passed in a happy blur. One day blended into the next in perfect simplicity. Edward and I were inseparable. Everything we did, we found some way of doing it together, even if it didn't really work. This Christmas holiday had gone down as my favorite. I had gotten everything I wanted; Edward, my best friends, and away from the scrutiny of the Palace. It was heaven, and I was dreading having to go home.

Two days were all we had left in our Garden of Eden. I was making the best of it by remaining curled up with Edward in bed reading. It was after lunch, and everyone else was downstairs playing Monopoly. I'd decided that I hadn't gotten enough reading done and Edward had followed me. He was now sitting next to me, writing in the music book I had given him. Occasionally, one of his hands would trail through my hair before returning to his paper. His incomplete humming would've driven anyone else up the wall, but I thought it was beautiful, even though I didn't recognize the tune.

Giving up after reading the same sentence ten times, I rolled over and propped my head in my hand. Edward was rather intensely focused on his music. His hair was still rumpled from our morning activities. His green eyes never trailed from his pen and paper. They were studious and enchanting. It was the same way he looked at me sometimes. All that wonder, intuition, great courage, and a beautiful steadfastness were caught up in those green orbs. I was completely lost in the vision before me.

"What are you looking at?" he murmured, his eyes never leaving his music book.

"You," I said. I rolled onto my stomach and placed one of the pillows under my head. He finally turned to look at me, but the emotions never changed on his face. I felt a shiver race up my spine at his intense look.

"Why you looking at me like that?" He smirked.

I shrugged. "You just look interesting when you're composing. You're intense and kind of whimsical at the same time. You hum, and occasionally it's like it becomes too much and you have to let it out, so you whistle."

He chuckled, a low smooth rumble that settled over my skin like a blanket. He placed the book on the table next to the bed, and then lay down so he was facing me. His palm and fingers settled over my cheek where his fingers made small, smoothing circles. I closed my eyes and the feeling almost lulled me to sleep. "Charlie used to whistle."

"Did he?" Edward asked gently. He didn't pry, but he did gently inquire, and it gave me room to back out if I wanted. It was one of the reasons that I loved Edward.

"Just around the house sometimes. Charlie wasn't much of a talker and neither was I. Whistling just filled some of the space. He taught me how. I used to whistle around Grand-mere's apartments just to piss her off."

He laughed softly. "That doesn't surprise me. I wish I had gotten to meet him. He sounds like a great person."

"He would've hated you," I murmured.

"And why is that?"

"You're a guy. He hated any boy who even dared to look at me." I giggled. Edward's eyes were wide and filled with mirth. He moved closer to me, hovering over me with his lips inches from mine.

"So what would he have thought about us sleeping together?" he asked.

"He would have taken his gun out and shot you." I grinned and he pounced. His long, musical fingers reached down to my stomach and began tickling me mercilessly. I screeched and tried to get away from them. Unfortunately Edward was bigger and stronger. There wasn't a lot I could do about it. I did, however, have one ace up my sleeve. I knew how to distract him. I tangle my fingers into his hair and pulled his lips toward mine. Almost immediately he sank into me. His fingers stroked my stomach gently, beginning to build a slow fire that had ignited inside me.

Edward pulled away and settled next to me. He pulled me into his arms, tangled our legs, and brushed his lips across my forehead. I gladly nestled into his arms. The silence in the room drifted around us. It was comfortable and safe. I never wanted to leave.

I felt more than heard Edward sigh. "I'm gonna miss this," he murmured.

"You can still stay with me," I told him halfheartedly. "That secret passage connects our rooms. You can come every night and no one will ever know."

"You won't get tired of me?" He laughed.

"Never." I grinned. I knew it would never happen. I didn't even have to think about it.

"Thank you." He squeezed me tightly, and I rested my head over his heart. "But that's not what I was talking about. This is what I'm going to miss—spending our days doing nothing, not having to worry about what things might look like. You're different here, Bella."

"I don't have to wear a mask here," I told him. "I don't have to constantly look over my shoulder and wonder how it looks and who's watching. It's almost like being back in Forks. I really don't want to leave. What if everything changes? I don't want anything to be different, Edward."

Edward tightened his hold, keeping me from falling apart. I just realized how unready I was to go back to the Palace. I didn't know how to reassemble the stoic exterior I was expected to wear. I didn't know how to move on from here. I felt myself shaking and clung tighter to Edward. I felt like I was being tossed about on an angry wave. Edward was the only thing holding me together at the moment.

He traced soothing circles in the small of my back. "It's okay, Bella, calm down. I'm right here and I'm not going anywhere. Some things will be different. I can't deny it. The important things won't though. I will still care for you with everything I have. Nothing is going to change that, I promise."

I smiled and buried my face into his chest. He threaded his fingers into my hair, which only helped to calm me. "How do you always know what to say?" I mumbled.

"It's just a talent." I could hear the smile in his voice as he reassured my suddenly distraught nerves. "I mean it, Bella, that's not going to change. You'll still be my Bella. Besides, after your show during the Christmas dinner you aren't going back as little misfit Bella. You are Princess Bella and everyone loves you. How could they not?"

I pushed myself up so that I was propped on his chest. "A pep-talk, really?"

He shrugged unabashedly. "For you, anything."

We remained cocooned in our bed for most of the afternoon. I drew strength from Edward's quiet support while he played with my hair. We talked some until I fell asleep safe in my lover's arms.

When I woke up it was darker in the room. The shadows were beginning to stretch leaving the room murky. I blinked and rubbed my eyes, trying to bring Edward into focus. "Ugh." I moaned. "How long have I been asleep?"

"Just a couple of hours." He sat up pulling me with him and began helping me untangle my hair. "You needed to sleep. Your panic attack wore you out."

"Sorry," I murmured. I was insecure and slightly neurotic. I knew that. I didn't know what had come over me. I had just suddenly felt very disconnected and lost. I didn't know what was wrong with me. Edward tilted my face up to meet his clear beryl eyes. He brushed his lips over mine in a sweet, reassuring kiss.

I melted into him, gladly relaxing my tense muscles "It's okay, Bella. I really don't mind. These things happen. Now why don't we go downstairs and find something to eat. I'm starving."

I laughed shakily at his suddenly very boyish expression. I climbed out of the fluffy bed and turned to face him. "Fine, but help me put on my necklace first, please."

He grinned and came to stand next to me. Wordlessly, I handed him the silver chain that he had given me for Christmas. Hanging on it was a small crystal heart that he told me had belonged to his birth mother. He had had his adopted mother send it to him and presented it to me. It was already one of my most prized possessions.

I could have put it on myself but I preferred to have him help me. Any excuse for him to touch me. I think he suspected this and didn't say anything. He would use any excuse as well. I moved my hair to the side so he could see the back of my neck. He deftly clasped the necklace so that the crystal lay over my own heart. Wrapping his arms around my middle, he placed a slow, opened mouth kiss to the exposed skin of my shoulder. It was the sort of thing guaranteed to send us back to bed for the rest of the evening.

Of course, my growling stomach interrupted what could have been a wonderful time. Edward chuckled and released my waist. I blushed and bit back a moan.

"Come on." Edward pulled me out to the hallway and down the stairs. "Let's go get you fed. That can wait till later."

"Do you promise?" I asked cheekily, grinning the whole time.

"As if I could tell you no," he whispered seductively in my ear. Again I bit back a moan. God, the things he could do to me.

By the time we reached the tiny living room, I was beet red again. Of course Emmett, who was sitting next to Rosalie on the couch and playing with the iPad she given him, noticed and had to comment. "Good grief, Eddie. If all her blood is in her face, I have to wonder where all of yours is."

I didn't have to be looking at Edward to know he was rolling his eyes. His response made me want to giggle. "Tactful, Emmett, and don't call me Eddie."

Emmett turned to Rosalie, looking for support. "You think for a guy getting it regularly he would be a lot less tense."

She merely shrugged, never looking up from Cynthia's hair, which she was French braiding. "I'm beginning to think that there is no such thing as an un-tense Edward."

Emmett snorted and Edward sighed. "I'm going to find us something to eat," he told me before heading to the kitchen.

Emmett snorted again. "Eat," he muttered, turning back to his iPad.

"Emmett!" Edward chastised from the kitchen. This earned a laugh from Rose and Cynthia. Even Jasper and Alice, who were sitting on the window seat, let out a startled snort.

"Leave him alone, Emmett," I told him. Not that it did much good. I was fighting a smile and it marred any seriousness in my tone.

"Oh please, Bella, it was funny and you know it," Rosalie defended her man.

I stuck my tongue out at her childishly before crossing the room to join Alice and Jasper. Alice had one of her new sketchbooks open in her lap. When I sat down next to her, I discovered that she was drawing wedding dresses. One was more traditional, with a princess skirt, lace sleeves, and a long train. Another was more modern. The front of the skirt only came to the knees, while the back came all the way to the floor. The top of the dress was sleeveless and looked like there was beading.

The third dress, which she was currently working on, was the perfect blend between the traditional and modern looks. This one was skintight until about the thighs, where it gradually began to loosen until it reached the floor. It had grown to the point where it looked like an inverted lily-slender at the top, wide at the bottom. There were no sleeves, but two thin spaghetti straps holding the dress up rather than nothing at all. As far as I could tell, there were no other embellishments on the dress either. There was no beading, no embroidery, just simple white. It was by no means plain, just simple. It would draw more attention to the person wearing it rather than to the dress itself.

"I like that one," I told her, pointing to the third dress.

"Do you?" she asked, looking up at me. Her gaze was thoughtful as she turned back to the page. "I think it will look good on you or Rosalie, you both have long legs. I am so short that I think it wouldn't have the same effect on me."

I shrugged. "I think it suits you the best. It's understated, but classy. That one…" I pointed as I talked. "It's too traditional and this one is too radical."

"True," she said, drawing the syllables out. "Maybe I can modify it a bit. Give it a high waist or something."

"I'm sure you can figure something out." I chuckled. Alice was really getting into this whole wedding thing and she hadn't set a date yet. "Have you decided on the colors?"

"I'm thinking hunter green and white, or hunter green and gold. They'll both work well with Jasper's uniform. Then I'm thinking lilies and the traditional edelweiss for the flowers. Or maybe orchids?"

I really laughed this time. "Alice, you have time. You don't have to decide right now."

She shrugged, unperturbed by my laughter. "It's not a bad idea to be ahead of the game, Bella."

Edward returned at that moment and took the seat next to me. He had a plate full of different kinds of cheeses and meats along with some crackers. I reached up and gave him a quick peck on the lips before settling into his side with a slice of Swiss.

"I didn't realize you and Jasper were engaged, Alice" Edward told her.

"We're not. We're just promised."

Edward eyebrows knitted together as he tried to decipher her words. "What's the difference?"

"It's an obscure little tradition that started in the Valley and never made it out," I explained. "Couples would announce themselves before they were actually engaged-sometimes just months before, sometimes years. It's just a way for families to know what's coming. Takes some of the surprise out of it, but it's interesting. The upper class didn't start doing it until the early 1900s. It's not very popular anymore, but you still find the occasional couple—like Alice and Jasper."

"How do you know if someone's promised?" Edward asked. He now looked curious rather than just confused.

"The man always gives the woman a ring." Alice took up Edward's instruction. "A simple gold or silver band with three gems, two of one kind on either side of another. It doesn't matter what they are. They do usually symbolize something to the couple however."

Alice showed him her ring, which I was fairly sure she hadn't taken off since we had found it that afternoon last fall. Edward studied the silver, sapphire, and topaz ring with an odd light in his eyes that I couldn't quite discern. "It's beautiful. When's the wedding?"

"Technically you're not supposed to set a date until you are really engaged, but we're thinking the spring in maybe two or three years."

"It would be sooner," Jasper explained. "But we have a couple things to work out first. Our relationship is not quite what you would call proper. Some people won't be happy about the Princess's Lady in Waiting and her body man getting married. Alice's parents also know we have been seeing each other for a long time, but don't realize we have decided to get married. That will present its own hurdle."

"That's a bunch of bullshit," Cynthia spoke up from across the room. "Mom and Dad aren't stupid. They know it's inevitable that you two are going to get married. They're over it. And everyone else can get over it too. It's none of their business anyway."

"You've been spending too much time with Emmett," Alice chastised her sister.

"No I haven't." Cynthia pouted.

"How else would you have learned language like that?"

"I take that as a compliment." Emmett grinned from behind his iPad. Alice stuck her tongue out at him before turning back to her sketchbook.

"There, you're done," Rose told Cynthia, who thanked her before moving to one of the chairs closer to Edward's keyboard. Rosalie then snatched Emmett's iPad out of his hands and placed it on the table to her right.

"Rosie!" Emmett whined like a baby. "What did you do that for? I was in the middle of a show!"

"What were you watching?" she asked, sounding surprisingly patient.

"WWE."

Rosalie groaned and rolled her eyes. "You can watch it later, Emmett. We have more important things to discuss."

"What's more important than John Cena beating the ever living shit out of some wimp?" Emmett asked, sounding absolutely insulted.

Edward groaned and shook his head. "I'd give it up, Rose. You're never going to get through to him."

Rose shot him a look that clearly said, "watch me." She turned to Emmett and said, "You're guy soap opera can wait. It won't go anywhere. We have to discuss our friends and how to keep them from being found out once were back at the Palace. You are going to sit there and be happy about it, capisce?"

Emmett meekly nodded clearly intimidated by Rosalie. Edward was shaking with silent laughter. He went so far as to bury his head in my hair so that no one would hear his peals of laughter.

"What's so funny, Eddie?" He pouted.

"You." Edward laughed, tears beginning to fall down his face. "You're whipped."

The rest of us broke into laughter at his comment as well. Emmett, rather than being embarrassed by the attention, seemed to bask in it. He sat back, draped an arm around Rose's shoulder, and smiled. "Yes, I am. For my Rosie, anything."

"My God, Emmett." Edward gasped and brushed tears from his cheeks. "You're growing up."

"Thank you. Would you mind telling mom? She still seems to think I'm five."

"Okay, Rose is right," Alice stated with authority. She placed her sketchbook next to her and tucked her legs underneath her. Taking Jasper's hand she turned to face Edward and I. "Rose, Emmett, Cyd, Jasper and I have been talking."

"About what?" I asked skeptically. In truth I knew. I had agreed to have this conversation before Christmas. We were going to have to come up with a plan to keep Edward's and my relationship hidden—at least for a while. That didn't make it any easier to have to sit here and go through with it, however. I sank into Edward and tried not to let my apprehensions show.

"You and Edward, Bella," Alice stated without a hint of sympathy. "We can't allow anyone to find out about you two, at least not until we have time to lay some groundwork. That means we have to have a cover story."

"What, like a secret agent or something?" Edward muttered. I was a little surprised to hear him being so obtuse. Edward was extremely sharp. He had to have known what she meant. I could only assume that his natural defenses were coming into play. I didn't have a good feeling about that and found myself holding my breath and waiting for the other shoe to drop.

"Nothing quite so comical," Jasper explained. "We just need something that would remove any doubt from anyone's mind if a rumor were to get started."

"And how are we planning to do this?" Edward didn't sound thrilled with the beginning of this plan. I think I could see where they were going and I didn't like it either.

"The easiest way would be if Bella were in a public relationship that everyone knew about," Cynthia stated.

I felt like I was in an uncontrollable car rushing towards a wall at top speed and knowing I was going to crash. "And who did you have in mind?"

"Jacob," Rosalie said with no inflection in her voice whatsoever.

"Absolutely not!" Edward roared. He gripped me tightly, almost enough to hurt. I wasn't happy about it either. I had already told Jacob no time and time again. I didn't want to get involved with him. Even the thought of it made me sick to my stomach.

"Edward, you've got to admit it makes sense." Emmett tried to get through to him, but I was fairly certain he was barking up the wrong tree. "Everyone would think they were going out so it wouldn't be hard to keep the two of you hidden. It would be easy. Rosalie and Alice told us about the secret passage between our room and hers. It would be easy to get her to you and you know it."

"Emmett." Edward groaned, although the fire didn't leave his eyes. He was still pissed beyond belief.

"Oh whatever." Emmett waved him off.

"It's not a permanent fix." Rosalie took the point. "It's just until we decide you two are ready to go public."

"How long do we think that will be?" I was trying to keep an open mind. Inside I just wanted to throw a temper tantrum and say no. On the other hand, they were making a good point. It was a good cover. No one would think I would be with someone as small as Edward when I was with a Lord. It just might work.

Rose shrugged in reply to my question. "It could just be a couple of months, or it could be a year. It will depend on the court, and Phil, and how your and Jacob's relationship progresses. It's up to you really."

I bit my lip and avoided Edward's eyes. My resolve was crumbling and I could tell he could see it on my face. I was afraid of facing him so I turned Alice. "What do you think?"

She shrugged and pressed her lips together. "I don't think it's perfect, nor do I think it will be easy. If it were me, I don't think I would do it. But I do think it's the best option we have. We won't let you two do this alone. Even Cynthia has volunteered to help us out. It won't be that bad."

Edward almost growled. His grip on me was still tight and I was fairly certain I would have a couple of bruises in the morning. Still, I didn't ask him to loosen his grip. I was counting on that grip. I needed it to remind me of what I had as I stared into the abyss.

"Jasper, what do you think?" Edward finally asked, his voice thick and strained. "You can't possibly agree to this."

"I don't," he answered. He had turned his steely gray eyes on us and I could tell he didn't like it. More than didn't like it—he hated it. Where the others thought the idea was imperfect but not terrible, Jasper thought it was just bad. He really didn't like Jacob. I already knew that. The idea of putting me with him no doubt unnerved Jasper. I suddenly wondered why he hadn't said anything before. "I think that this idea is awful and dangerous. I don't trust Jacob, especially with you."

"Thank you." Edward sighed and appeared rather smug. Jasper had agreed with him, and surely I wouldn't do anything my bodyguard thought was dangerous. Unfortunately for both of us, Jasper wasn't done.

"Unfortunately, it's the best plan we have. Truthfully it's the only plan we have. I think it would be worse if we didn't do anything."

Edward glowered. His ally turned against him and sided with most of my friends. I was disappointed as well. I would have liked for Jasper to tell me not to do it. Now I had no excuse. I didn't want to do it. It felt like cheating on both sides. I loved Edward—not that I had told him yet. Could I really ask him to go along with this? It just seemed so wrong. I could understand why he didn't like it.

On the other hand, if I didn't go along with it, I ran the risk of losing Edward altogether. If it were to get out, after being with Jacob, that I had an affair with Edward, he would have to leave. He would have no choice. It would ruin his reputation and mine. Not that I cared about mine. Still the end result was the same—I would lose him either way if we didn't find a way to control the situation.

Edward could see my resolve crumbling. He groaned and lowered his head into my neck. This was going to be the hard part—convincing Edward that this was the right thing to do. It felt wrong to convince him that I should date another man in order to hide our relationship. God, this was a mess.

I turned in my seat so that I was kneeling in front of him. Placing my hands on either side of his face and forcing him to look at me I told him, "I know you don't like this. I don't either. I really don't. If there were anything else I could do, anything at all, I would. I would gladly do it, but I can't run the risk of losing you. If we don't cover this then it's possible we'll be discovered and you'll be forced to leave. This is the best way to fix it. I know it's hard, but this is the best."

He sat and refused to look at me. His eyes were downcast and his forehead was furrowed. I knew he was trying to wrap his head around this. That was all I needed, for him to think logically about this, and he would agree with me. I felt bad about doing it. It wasn't fair to put him through this. I was truly selfish. Losing Edward was an option I wasn't prepared to take, however.

Seeking some kind of contact, and knowing it would calm him, I tangled my right hand into his hair and lightly began to rub his scalp. His eyelids fluttered like he was having trouble keeping them open. His hand held onto my wrist. His grip wasn't as tight this time. He didn't hang on to me in desperation. It was much more resigned. When he looked up at me, I knew I had won and my heart broke. His green eyes, which were usually bright and lively, were flat, and I couldn't find any emotion in them whatsoever. He agreed with me, but at what cost?

"You're right." His voice was just barely above a whisper and it was thick like he was holding something back. "It's best to keep us hidden. I don't like it, but I'll go along with it."

To me, it felt like a hollow victory. I honestly didn't know what to say. What did you say when your very sweet, passionate boyfriend agreed to let you pretend to see someone else? It was a disaster. Edward pulled me down so that I was enveloped in his arms. I leaned against his chest and tried to keep from crying. Edward's smell surrounded me, and I wanted nothing more than to let it carry me away somewhere safe.

"How are we going to do this?" Edward asked the room at large. His voice was clearer and much stronger. It would seem that he was back in control of himself. I could tell that it wasn't the truth. I could recognize the same mask I wore back home.

"There's a certain amount of protocol that Jacob and Bella will have to follow," Jasper explained. "They would rarely be alone. They would only touch if they had an approved reason to do so, like dancing. It's all very archaic. That will work to our advantage, at least to begin with."

"Even then, Bella doesn't have to do anything she doesn't want to." Rosalie seemed to think that he needed more details. "She doesn't have to touch him, or kiss him, or hold his hand if she doesn't want to. She would be in control of the situation because of her higher rank. This will be easy."

"No it won't, Rosalie!" I think it came out much sharper than I had intended. Rosalie's violet eyes widened for a moment. She looked truly mad at me for a moment before reality set in and she calmed down.

"You're right." She sighed. "That wasn't what I meant to say. I'm sorry for being so critical. The fact remains this will not be a normal romantic relationship. There will be a lot of barriers that will work in our advantage rather than Jacob's."

"Did the great Rosalie Hale just say that she was sorry?" Alice asked amused. "Emmett really has been good for you."

Shocking all of us in the room, Rosalie blushed. Her cheeks turned bright red and her eyes turned down toward her lap bashfully. Even in my tense state, I found her unusual behavior amusing. When Emmett puffed out his chest proudly, I let out a giggle. They were something else. Even the others laughed at their improbable behavior. I did notice that Edward remained stoic through the entire exchange. I burrowed into his chest a little tighter trying to make him feel me there in his arms. He tightened his arms, but other than that, I didn't get a reaction. What I wouldn't give to be back in our bedroom this afternoon. Nothing could have touched us then.

"Still, she is right." Jasper drew us back to the matter at hand. "We do have the upper hand."

"And it's not forever," Alice continued. "Just until we figure out a way to bring you two out without making too many waves. I promise, it'll be no more than a year."

"Do we know Jacob is going to go for this by the way?" Emmett asked, oddly thoughtful for once. "Bella's turned him down so many times. How do we know he'll take her up on this one?"

"It's one of the reasons he came to Edelweiss in the first place," I explained. "And I did tell him that I would think about his offer. Trust me, he'll take it." I suddenly felt a little bit bad about what I was going to do to Jacob. He obviously had some kind of feelings for me, and I was going to use it to keep myself and my lover safe. I felt like such a cad. I would never be able to explain those feelings to Edward.

"Well, that's that then," Rosalie spoke up again. It certainly did feel that way, like a completely done deal, the end. I felt a chill sweep up my limbs and shivered. I had never wanted something like this happen. I just hoped that it wouldn't last long.

The conversation in the room turned to something else before coming to a halt completely. To be honest, I didn't know what to say. I was acutely aware of Edward, who was stiff as a board and hadn't said anything in an hour.

I didn't know how to fix this. Part of me thought that if he would just go play the keyboard and work it all out that everything would be okay. That was naïve and I knew it. This wasn't something that could be fixed as easily as that.

I took one of his hands that were resting on my waist and intertwined his fingers with my own. Edward's long fingers fascinated me. They were graceful and poised and the tips were just slightly calloused from years of playing musical instruments. I think what truly caught my attention, however, was that I knew what they could do. Flying over the keys of the piano, they could produce music like no others; over my own skin, they could make me moan and writhe under his sweet torture.

Lost in my own thoughts, I traced the outline of his forefinger as it wrapped around mine. I was surprised to suddenly feel his lips brush against the crown of my head. It would seem that I was starting to break through the ice that he instilled himself behind. When his arms squeezed me tightly, I knew I had him back from whatever dark place he had gone.

We needed to talk and we needed to do it alone. Rosalie had returned Emmett's iPad, Alice had her sketchpad back out, and Cynthia and Jasper were talking quietly. I assumed this meant we were done. I stood up swiftly pulling Edward with me. "We're going upstairs if you need us." Before Emmett could utter another uncouth comment and shut Edward down again, I retreated upstairs. Edward didn't say a word as we reached our bedroom, which had so recently been a haven. Now the space between us felt huge as Edward let go of my hand and sat down on the bed. He leaned against the headboard and stared off into space.

"Edward," I said tentatively. I wasn't sure what to do. I wanted him to hold me—I missed his arms—but this distance felt too big. I hated it.

"Yes?" he answered, still never taking his eyes off the wall.

"Say something?" I was still standing awkwardly by the door as I realized that we had never had a real argument. We didn't know how the other was going to react. It was like walking on eggshells and I absolutely hated it.

"What do you want me to say?" he asked, his voice flat. There was an edge to it as well that I didn't expect. "I honestly don't know what you want, Bella, so you're going to have to help me out here."

Well, one answer was easy at least. "You. You're all I ever wanted."

He laughed but it wasn't his usual suave chuckle. It was bitter, angry, and disgusted. "Trust me, Bella, I've heard that one before."

I gasped like I had just been kicked in the stomach. I was such an idiot. Of course Edward was pissed. He had already had one girlfriend cheat on him. Now, after having told me all his dirty secrets, he had one asking him to let her cheat. No wonder he was acting this way. I couldn't blame him. I was a poor excuse at the moment. "Oh, God, I am so sorry. I didn't even think. I just couldn't handle the thought of having to lose you and I didn't realize what it must have looked like to you. I am so sorry and I swear I would never do this if I didn't feel that I had to."

"Bella." This time when he stopped me, rather than being bitter and harsh, his voice was gentle and apologetic. He was finally looking at me as well. His sad, emerald eyes were heavy and swimming with the emotion. "I'm sorry, I shouldn't have said that. It wasn't appropriate. I was mad and I was taking it out on you. You don't deserve it."

"I still didn't think about what must have been going through your mind," I told him. "I was only thinking about myself and what I was going through."

He smiled sadly and shook his head. "Come here."

I almost ran across the room to get to him. He opened his arms and I gladly slipped inside. It wasn't the tense and nervous hold from earlier, for which I was grateful. This was more relaxed and reassuring. Edward brushed his lips over my forehead and held me tight, but not as tight as it had been downstairs. Instead, it was much more natural, and I wouldn't get bruises. I rested my head on his shoulder and worked on regulating my breathing.

"I know you're not happy about this thing with Jacob," I told him. "Believe me, I'm not either. If there were any other way to do this I would—in a heartbeat. However, I trust Jasper, Alice, Rosalie, and Emmett. If they tell us they think this will work, then I think we should listen to them. And you should know that every moment I'm with Jacob I will be wishing I was with you."

He smiled and it was slightly happier than before. "Thank you. That is nice to know." He sighed heavily before continuing. "And you are right, I know it. Believe me, the thought of losing you now that I found you is enough to make my heart stop. Whatever precautions we have to take are fine, even if I'm not happy about some of them. That being said, I think we should put down some ground rules with this thing you're going to pretend with Jacob."

"What ever you need." I meant it. Whatever he needed to make this easier on him, I would do in a heartbeat.

"No sex." He laughed shakily, and I could tell his eyes weren't looking at me anymore, but somewhere over his shoulder. I had a feeling the ghosts of his past were haunting him again. "I don't even think I could handle him kissing you."

I placed my hand on his cheek and nudged his face so he was looking at me and not his memories. I leaned up so that I could kiss him softly. "Never. I would never even imagine it, Edward."

He smiled and nuzzled into my neck. "Thank you," he muttered. "That's part of what had me so on edge. I'm sorry."

"Stop saying you're sorry." I tangled my hand into his hair and eased him back so I could see his face. "You have nothing to be sorry for."

He captured my lips with his own and truly kissed me. For the first time since we went downstairs our tongues tangled. It felt almost like coming home. There was still something wrong with Edward. He was too reserved, too careful, as he found the skin of my hip. He barely touched me and pulled away far too soon. He left me gasping, but it wasn't the same as usual.

"Edward, what's wrong?" I gasped. "Whatever it is, it's okay. We'll be fine."

He grinned and refused to look at me again. "I'm afraid if I show you, you'll hate me."

I pulled him into a hug, trying to reassure him. "That's impossible, Edward. I need to know what's wrong. Show me."

He groaned and pressed his lips to mine with more force than he ever had. He bit on my bottom lip and forced his tongue into my mouth. He was usually very gentle with me, treating me like a porcelain doll, who would break with the slightest amount of pressure. This was rough and passionate, and I didn't mind in the least. His hand had found my hips and began to trail up my stomach. His kiss was needy, and I let him take whatever he needed. I was exhilarated by his roughness. Not that I was sure he would like that.

His lips left mind and traveled along my jaw up to the sweet spot behind my ear. His lips and tongue pulled my skin into his mouth and bit on it, causing me to moan. I wrapped my arms around his neck and pulled on his hair. I was gasping, trying to get air into my lungs as his hands reached the underside of my breasts. I was shaking as he nipped at the shell of my ear.

"I'm jealous, Bella." He gasped into my ear. "I'm jealous, and possessive, and protective. I want you to be mine and no one else's. Do you understand me, Bella?"

Of course I understood him, and I wanted nothing more than to be his and only his. I gripped his hair and pulled his face back so that I could crash my lips onto his. He moaned and moved his hands so he was cupping my breasts. My nipples hardened under his touch and I moaned. "Make me yours, Edward, please."

He lowered me back onto the bed so he was hovering over me. He removed my shirt and bra and trailed a line of kisses down my throat to the valley between my breasts. My fingers remained twinned into his hair and the silky texture of the strands felt amazing in my hands.

It no longer mattered anymore that we were scared or frightened. In that moment we were together. Edward rode me and brought me to a quick, hard climax. He followed, leaving us a spent, tangled mess on the bed. When I caught my breath, I pillowed my head across his chest and fought sleep. Edward's heartbeat sounded in my ear as he wrapped his arms around my waist, holding me to him tightly.

"I swear to God, Edward, if you apologize for that I will beat you to death."

He chuckled and began playing with the ends of my hair. "I wish I could explain to you how much I care about you, Bella. I don't know what I would do without you."

I sat and kissed him, cutting off his pained words in the process. Edward gladly returned my slow, patient kiss and relaxed underneath me. "You don't have to," I told him. "I'm still right here and that's not going to change. No matter what it may look like, I'm yours."

He kissed me gently and rolled us so that I was on my side and he was spooned behind me. I nestled against him, pulling our entwined fingers to rest over my heart.

I didn't know how this was going to go with me having to cover with Jacob. I would be lying if I said I wasn't scared—I was terrified. I knew if I told Edward this, he would tell me not to do it and that we would find some other way. The real problem was I never knew which Jacob I was going to get—the sweet almost childish one or the arrogant Lord. If I could get through this it would be the greatest thing I would ever do.

I shivered not from cold but from fright. I suddenly really didn't want to do this.

"Are you cold?" Edward asked drowsily. Edward pulled the blankets up to cover us and drew me back into his arms. "Relax, Bella," he murmured. "We still have tomorrow."

I did my best to obey his orders by forcing my body to relax into his. He was right. We had one whole day left to just be us before entering the lion's den. It would be a shame to waste it. I fell asleep while replaying his words over and over again just to keep the demons at bay.

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**AN:** So, good news, the next chapter is already with the beta so it shouldn't be long before the chapter. Again, sorry for long time between updates. If you want more up to date news you can follow me on twitter everydaybella89 .

Let me know what you think of the crazy kids plan using the box below?

Till next time!


	21. Hey Soul Sister

**AN: **Hello! Ok, gonna stop promising regular updates, clearly I suck. LOL Much love to my beta's for making my words pretteh, and to my bb AngelcDevil for the shiny new summery.

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**Chapter 21**

**Hey Soul Sister**

_You see, I can be myself now finally,_

_In fact there's nothing I can't be._

_I want the world to see you here with me…_

_The way you move ain't fair you know,_

_Hey, soul sister_

_I don't wanna miss_

_A single thing you do_

_Tonight._

_-Train_

**BPOV**

Slowly winter gave way to spring. The snow and ice that had coated the ground since October revealed what it had been hiding. The valley came alive with bright green grass and wildflowers—namely the tiny white edelweiss we drew our name from. From above, it no doubt looked like there was still snow on the ground, because the flowers were so thick. Every spare corner of the palace was covered in them.

The past six months had been hard to say the least. As soon as the court reassembled after the Christmas holidays, I sought out Jacob. He had been thrilled to hear that I had changed my mind on our possible arrangement. We made our public debut at a formal event shortly after the new year's. Since then things had been surprisingly easy on that front. Arrogant, rude, obnoxious Jacob had not reared his head. When he was sweet, personable Jacob, I found spending time with him easy.

Of course, I was still wholly devoted to Edward. Every spare, private moment I had I could be found with him, and of course, I spent every night in his arms. Edward had gone on a musical writing spree over the last several months, adding five new compositions to his repertoire, and I knew he was still working on several more. He had debuted my lullaby, under a different name, to tremendous applause and acclaim. He had some records sent back to several of his instructors from Juilliard who had told him it was his best work yet. There were quite a few people who asked him if there was a certain inspiration for the piece. Each time he told them he had simply worked on it until it came to him. If I was in the room, he would shoot me a discreet smile. I was unbelievably proud of him.

Of course, because of my relationship with Jacob, he no longer came openly to my apartment, nor did he accompany me to any events. Jacob now filled my role of escort. I would see Edward there and we would have to maintain a brief, friendly, but not too friendly, conversation. It was unbelievably hard to not lean against him or take his hand. Our plans so far had worked. No one suspected what Edward and I truly felt for each other or what we got up to in the dark of night. I missed the easy openness from before, but we're both committed to making sure that no one found out about us before we were ready.

As it was, our time together had been reduced to evenings when I could get out of any obligations and nights. It wasn't enough, and both of us thought so. Gone were walks in the park or sitting in the music room and watching him compose. It truly felt like we were living in two different worlds. I had come to value our little bit of time together much more than I would have anywhere else. I missed it during the days, which led me to blow up at Rosalie and Alice one afternoon.

To be honest it had already been a bad day. Court had been long, and Phil as pompous as ever. This particular day Renee had been under the weather so Phil had had absolute control. That was part of the problem, protocol would've dictated that it passed to me as heir, but Phil had hamstrung the lords into giving it to him. That had already ticked me off.

Then all of the court was there— including Edward and Jacob. It was always hard to be in a situation like that. I was always more comfortable around Edward, and I had to work to keep that from showing. From my seat, I could also watch Emmett and Rosalie. Since we had come back from Crépuscule they have been very open about their relationship. It was partially to keep the attention off of Edward and I, and then just because they could. They had created some waves, and Lady Hale was furious, but everyone mostly expected Rose to do things like that. I had already explained to Rose that I was jealous of her and that hadn't changed, if anything it had gotten worse. I was stuck in a _fauxmance,_ while she was happy-go-lucky with her boyfriend. That day all the stress came to a boiling point.

"What a jerk," Alice muttered when we got back to my rooms. "You should have been given control of Court and Phil just took it. I can't believe the Lords let him do that. Father was rather shocked as well."

"Seventy-five percent of the Lords like Phil, Alice," Rose told her, even though Alice already knew this. "Your father is an odd duck in that group."

"I realize that, Rose." Alice groaned. "I just didn't realize that they would be that blunt about it."

Rose had been about to say something, and I couldn't handle it any longer. "Could you please just shut up?" Afterward I pointedly ignored them and went back to the mail I'd been going through.

"Who put your panties in a twist?" Rosalie asked. She was studying me with her sharp violet eyes. I was fairly certain that she already knew the real problem, but I was unwilling to admit it.

"Nothing, Rose. I'm just tired." It was the truth. I had been waking up a lot in the night. I had even woken Edward up a couple of times. I knew he was worried about me. I had no idea what was wrong with me. I couldn't remember what I was dreaming about or what woke me up. Just that I did with an odd sense of heartbreak. It would take me hours to get back to sleep, and by then, it was too late. It would be time to begin the day. I was a powder keg waiting to go off. At least it was in private when I finally did.

"Well something seems to be your problem. You've been in a bad mood for weeks now." Rosalie had her arms crossed over her chest, staring down at me. "Come on and get it out. You're obviously mad at something."

Rosalie's annoying, superior tone was grating on my nerves, and with the mood I was in, that was just the spark I needed. "I don't know, Rosalie? Maybe it's you I'm mad at. If you would stop showing off every single time you went out with Emmett, I might feel a lot better." I didn't know what was wrong with me, but it was coming out now. This wouldn't be the first time Rosalie and I had fought, but it may have been the worst.

"Oh good God, Bella." Rosalie rolled her eyes. "You are not back on this whole jealousy kick are you? If so, it's ridiculous. You have no reason to be jealous of me, or Emmett, or anyone else for that matter. Now would you please stop whining? That's all you've done for months now."

"Rose," Alice chastised.

"You can hardly talk, Rosalie Hale. If you don't get your way every time, then you throw a fit until you do." I stood up and my voice rose. "You're selfish, petty, and dense. I don't think you can tell me not to whine. You're able to do what you want, when you want, where you want, and how you want. I don't know if you realize this, but you're pretty damn lucky."

"Oh, come off it, Bella." Rosalie almost shouted. "You really are a brat sometimes. You're always complaining about being a princess and how you liked it so much better in America. Emmett and I went public to keep the attention off of you. I think a simple thank you would be in order."

I gasped, rendered speechless for a moment. She was right. I was always complaining about something or another. Was I really that bad? I hadn't ever thought about it, but she was right. I thought I was so much better than everyone else. Like Rosalie said, I was a little brat. I was still jealous of her, but the anger I had directed at her turned inward. I sank into the chair I had previously vacated and felt the cold sting of tears in my eyes. "It's been six months and nothing has changed. I don't know what to do and I'm sorry."

Rosalie surprised me by sitting next to me and pulling me into a hug. "I'm sorry too. I shouldn't have called you a brat, because you're not, no matter what I may say. I know this is probably hard, but hang in there. It will be worth it even if I have to beat a bitch to do it. You and Edward deserve it."

I laughed shakily when she threatened anyone who stood between Edward and I. I caught a few stray tears from my cheeks. "Thanks. I don't know what's wrong with me. Everything seemed to come crashing down at the same time."

"Well, I know the problem. You really are tired, more than tired—you're exhausted. Have you even really been sleeping?"

Alice had now joined us by sitting on my other side. "You usually sleep like a rock. It's odd for you not to."

I shrugged. Their guess as to what was wrong with me was as good as mine. "I don't know. I wake up and can't get back to sleep. Edward says I toss and turn a lot too."

"Well, I think you two need a holiday," Alice announced. "You haven't been able to get out since Christmas. I think that's part of the problem."

"Alice, they can't be seen together," Rose said dryly. "That's part of the problem."

"Trust me." Alice rolled her eyes playfully. "This weekend Bella and Edward are going on a holiday, and no one will be the wiser.

_Alice was a genius,_ I decided. She had convinced Jasper to loosen my security so it was just her and Jasper. She had then woken me up early in the morning and smuggled me out of the Palace and into the upper countryside. No one would know we were up here together and there was no one else up here but us—with the exception of Jasper and Alice who were keeping their distance. The sun was shining, the breeze was cool, and everything was beautiful. I couldn't have asked for a better day. For the first time since January, I felt like I could breathe easily.

Edward was lying in the grass while I sat, leaning against his propped up legs. I was pretending to read, while in fact, I was watching him. His eyes were closed, and his hands were behind his head in the prefect sleeping position. His red-brown hair was set off by the clear green grass. His hair caught every gleam of the sun bringing the strands to life with individual highlights of red, brown, and even some gold. The breeze blew through his hair and the grass, guaranteeing the fact that he would have grass in his hair all day—not that I minded.

"What are you looking at?" he asked without opening his eyes.

"I'm not looking at anything. I'm reading."

His lips turned up in a devilish grin. "No, you're not."

"How would you know?" I smirked back at him. "Your eyes have been closed for the past ten minutes."

He finally opened his eyes and the green orbs matched the green of the grass underneath him. "Bella, I've been listening. You haven't turned a page in fifteen minutes. So, that's some slow reading you're doing, my love."

I blushed as I always did when he used that nickname. I loved it. It always made me feel warm and fuzzy. He had been using it a lot more recently. I was hoping that it meant something, but I was careful not to push him. He had given his heart away before just to have someone stomp on it. So, I was careful to give him the space he needed. He would say more when he was ready. For now I was simply enjoying being with him.

"Okay, so I haven't been reading." I laughed and placed my book in the bag next to me. "Did you know you have gold in your hair?"

He threw his head back and laughed at my question. It was hilarious evidently, although I didn't know why. His laughter quickly seeped into me and I joined him. I brushed a thick strand of hair behind my ear shyly.

"Yes, I have been told that." He sat up and caught a few strands of my hair in his fingers. "Did you know yours has red in it?"

I blushed and nodded. "So I've been told."

He smiled, leaned forward to brush his lips over mine. His hand cupped my cheek, and he gently pressed his tongue against my lips deepening our kiss and sending shivers up my spine. I held onto his shirt to keep my balance. Otherwise, I was fairly certain I would have fainted.

When he pulled away, I was breathless and gasping. He chuckled lightly and leaned back on to his forearms while I settled against his raised legs. "I've missed that. Why don't we just stay out here for the rest of our lives?"

I laughed. "I'm sure you'll still think that in four months when it's covered in snow again."

He shrugged. "You're probably right about that."

"I've missed it, too," I told him in all seriousness.

He used one of his hands to pull me back on top of him as he laid flat on the grass. I settled on top of him propping myself up on his chest. "Rose told me about your blow up a couple days ago," he murmured.

I groaned. Leave it to Rose to tell Edward that I couldn't handle a little bit of pressure. "Why did she tell you about that?"

"Because she's worried about you, love. To be honest, so am I." He traced the dark lines under my eyes. "You're under a lot of pressure, and you haven't been sleeping well. We're all a little bit worried about you."

I sighed. I wished everyone would stop worrying about me so much. I really wasn't as fragile as they all liked to think. I could take care of myself, and I had done so for a very long time. I would be fine.

Almost as if he could read my mind, Edward chuckled. "You're so stubborn."

I shrugged. "I just don't understand why everyone is so worried about me. Not that much has changed. I'm fine, really."

His eyes told me he didn't believe me. "You're short tempered, you're harsh, and you're moody, which are all things you are not normally. You blew up at Rosalie the other day for no reason. Can you honestly tell me nothing is wrong?"

He was right. I hadn't been myself for months. I just didn't want to tell him why I was afraid. It would either make him sad or make him angry. I sighed and lowered my eyes so that he couldn't see them. My finger picked absentmindedly on his shirt as I told him, "Okay, fine, you're right. I haven't been myself. I've just been a little overwhelmed. It's just, I mean, there's all this stuff with Phil and Renee, and then there's Jacob, who I cannot figure out for the life of me, and then there's you and Alice and Rose, and Jasper. Honestly, I think if I could just sleep through the night just once that would help."

"You were sleeping well last night," he murmured soothingly, brushing hair out of my face.

I finally looked up at him in amusement. "You wore me out the night before. How could I do anything but sleep?"

A light blush crept up his pallid cheeks, although otherwise he seemed rather happy about his accomplishment. He grinned and shrugged. "If I knew it were that easy to get you to sleep, I would have been doing it all along."

I groaned. "God, you are such a guy."

He winked up at me, and I was glad for the mood lightener. "You weren't complaining about that last night."

If I remembered correctly, I hadn't. Instead I had gladly egged him on. He had no idea how much I loved him. I honestly didn't know what I would do without him. He was a shining point of light—my north star—as everything else became dark. I needed him like I needed air to breathe or water to drink. It all sounded a bit over dramatic, even for me, but it was the truth. Hiding it, even from him, was the hardest thing I did.

I leaned down so that I could kiss him. His hands found my waist and flipped us so that we were lying side by side in the grass. I used my free hand to trace his sharp features, while he traced the curve of my lips with his before resting his hand on my neck.

"Talk to me, Bella," he entreated, his eyes full of sympathy, understanding, and something else I couldn't quite put my finger on. "You can't keep all this inside. That's what I'm here for—to listen and talk you through it. Please, Bella. You might even start sleeping better afterward."

I laughed at his hopeful words, but it did sound nice—to have someone to share all this with, and to not have to keep it all inside. If Edward was willing to listen, then I was going to take him at his word and talk his ear off. I laughed shakily as I realized my problem. "I don't know where to start."

He smiled gently and pulled me into his arms, one over my waist, the other cushioning my head. His fingers were tangled in my hair, helping me to keep my calm. We were still on our sides facing each other, and his eyes were studying my face as I spoke. I had learned that this was how he always knew so much about the people around him. He learned to read their faces. I was surrounded not only by the sweet, floral, and fresh scent of the grass and flowers we were laying on, but also his unique woodsy, manly scent. I sighed and relaxed, closing my eyes. Suddenly I felt very safe and protected. There was no one up here but Edward and I. Up here we could do anything we wanted, and I relished it.

"Why don't you start at the beginning," Edward suggested. "Tell me about Renee and Phil."

I sighed. "I hate Phil. I really do. He's taken everything away from me—especially my mother. You don't realize. She's nothing like she used to be. She used to be fun and hair-brained. A little naive perhaps, but she wouldn't have hurt a fly. She wouldn't have let anyone else hurt a fly either—especially if that fly was her daughter."

Edward rolled his eyes. They were hard chips of emerald and filled with protective anger. His arm tightened around my waist, and his face began to turn red. "Is Phil still making derogatory comments toward you?" I sighed and nodded, averting my gaze from his gloriously angry face.

I felt his fingers brush my cheek and looked back up at him. The anger was gone, locked away somewhere where I couldn't see it. The protectiveness was still present, and alongside it was care. I think he thought he had sacred me. In fact I felt oddly cherished as he struggled to control his expression. "I'm sorry," he muttered, tightening his hold around my waist. "I wish there was something I could do to make him stop."

I sighed. "To be honest, it's just something I've learned to live with. I have for a long time now. And no, bashing in his nose with your fist is not going to help."

He chuckled at my observation. "Yes, I see that. It doesn't make stop me from wanting to. Every time I hear or see him let into you, my blood boils. Given the chance, I would gladly still do it."

"Well, please don't," I told him. I smiled to take the edge off of my words. "As much as I would love to watch you do it, I don't want you to be thrown out either."

He grinned. "But, it would be so enjoyable. I really do hate him for the way he treats you. You know that, right?"

I blushed and leaned in to kiss him in order to hide it. "Thank you. It would be easier for you if you didn't."

He shrugged, apparently uncaring. "I don't care. You're more important. Tell me about your mother."

I bit my bottom lip, unsure of how to word this. I played with a button on his shirt to give my eyes and fingers something to focus on. "To someone who doesn't know her, you wouldn't know there was anything wrong. I do though. She's so much quieter than she used to be. She doesn't have an event to be at every night, and she's not as put together either. I mean, she was always disorganized and scatterbrained, but she always knew what she was doing and when she was supposed to do it. Now, it's like something's missing—some important part of her is not there. I'm afraid I'm never going to get her back, Edward. She's my mother. Isn't there supposed to be something I should do?"

I finally looked up at his face. I didn't know what I was supposed to do, or if there was even something I could do. I felt helpless, powerless against the shadows in the dark. I could feel the sting of tears in my eyes and blinked rapidly to keep them from falling. Edward saw through me of course—as he always did. He leaned closer to me and kissed away the stray tears that had fallen against my will. "I'm so sorry, my love," he whispered as I tried to catch my breath. "I wish that I could help, I really do. I'm afraid I have no idea what you should do."

"You are helping." I sniffed and smiled, watery eyed. "You're listening."

He pulled me flush against him while wrapping me in his arms. "Whatever you need, my angel."

"I don't know what I'm going to do." I moaned. "I'll figure something out I suppose."

"I'm sure you will." We stayed there for a while, neither of us feeling the urge to talk. The breeze was chilly, but Edward was warm. I almost feel asleep between the bright sun, strong wind, and Edward. I couldn't have asked for anything else. I hadn't been able to relax this much in months.

Finally I knew the day was getting on and there was still something I wanted to show Edward. I pushed myself off the grass and brushed off the loose blades. Offering Edward my hand I said, "Come on, there's something I want to show you."

Wordlessly, he stood up and followed me as I began to hike up the slope we were on. As we made our way higher up the mountains, the trees grew sparse, clumping together in small stands on either side of the glade. Eventually, even the grass gave way to the gray rock underneath. Edward began to have trouble breathing as we scrambled over the loose, moss covered rock. I wasn't having as much trouble—barely beginning to draw in heaver breaths. On the other hand, I had grown up here in the higher altitude. I was more acclimated to it.

"How much longer?" Edward panted. I turned to find his face red with exertion. He looked ridiculous with his red face and dark orange hair. I clapped my hand over my mouth to hold in a giggle. The beginnings made it out before I could stop, and Edward heard. I just decided to let it out. I almost doubled over laughing until even I was running short of air. He stared at me, still drawing in huge gasping breaths. "You done?" he finally asked.

I tried to regain my breath and nodded. "Yeah, I'm done." I gasped. "Sorry."

He nodded and smiled before sinking down to the rocks underneath our feet. "It's okay. I know it's absurd. I need a minute though."

I sat next to him overlooking the valley. It was spread out like a child's plaything at our feet. Everything was green and white except for the deep blue of the river stretching out like a ribbon. There were tiny brown dots where the streets, towns, and hamlets were. Up above the green valley came the darker green of the forest, the gray of rock, and the white of the snowcapped mountains. Above it all was the beautiful blue of the sky. It was like a postcard, the colors vivid, the edges defined.

"That's beautiful," Edward said after regaining his breath. "It's amazing. I think this is the farthest up I've ever been. The air is really thin. How do you breathe?"

I shrugged. "I've lived up here for most of my life. It's just second nature to me I guess. Grand-pere used to take me up here when he was alive and before he got sick. We've still got about a mile and half to go."

He groaned and buried his head in his hands. "Please say it's not so. I can't breathe, Bella. Really, don't make me."

Grinning, I laid my head on his shoulder. I batted my eyelashes at him in a way that I knew he could never refuse. "Please Edward?" I begged. "I promise I'll make it worth your while."

He looked at me out of the corner of his eyes. "You know it's impossible for me to refuse you, right?"

I bit my lip and nodded. I did indeed know how to get him to do anything I wanted. I tried not to, but I really wanted to go up to the ruins and show them to him. They were one of my favorite places in the world. I had wanted to take him up here since this fall, but with the snow, we couldn't get here. "Come on, it's just over that bunch of trees," I told him, pointing toward the arm of the forest I had noticed earlier.

He rolled his eyes but stood up anyway. "Come on." He took a deep breath, trying to fill his lungs with air and making a dramatic show of it for my benefit. "If you're trying to kill me, we might as well get on with it."

I smiled and took his hand. "I promise I won't kill you. It's not that far. Besides what would I do without you?"

This time I went much slower and tried not to make him as tired. His face was only lightly pink, and I got him to take deeper breaths rather than the short shallow ones he had been doing. It took another twenty minutes with several stops for Edward to catch his breath before I stopped us.

"Tada!" I exclaimed proudly, showing off the mound of seemly ordinary rocks. Some of them were even covered in green moss. "What do you think?"

Edward looked confused and slightly disappointed. His green eyes bounced between me and the pile of rubble I was so clearly so, pleased with. He leaned forward bracing his hands on his knees and tried to breath. "What is it?" he finally asked.

I smiled and pointed up. "Look."

Finally his eyes widened. There, hugging the edge of a steep drop and surrounded by piles of unimpressive gray and white stone, was an old turret still standing tall—if only just barely. There was a small bit of wall standing here or there. When you put everything together and looked at it, you could see the whole picture—it was a ruin. More specifically, it was the ruins of an ancient castle. It was awe-inspiring. The castle had been huge, though now the only piece still standing was a lone, weary looking turret.

"This is." Edward gasped for once in amazement rather than breathlessness. "Amazing. What is it?"

"It's the ruins of the original Palace. It was a castle built in the thirteen hundreds. My family lived in it until the mid-fifteen hundreds. It's been up here ever since," I told him. "It's kind of eerie don't you think?"

"It is." Edward looked like a giddy school boy on a class field trip. He gingerly touched the remains of a low stone wall. He smiled to himself and placed more pressure on the stone. I was fairly certain that if he had more air he would have been giggling.

I took his hand and pulled him toward to the ruins. "Can we go up there?" he asked breathlessly.

I shrugged. "No one even remembers they're up here. We can do what ever we want. I wouldn't suggest going up in the turret, as it's really fragile. Other than that, it doesn't matter." Edward grinned, and with a sudden surge of strength, he pulled me through the ruins.

Edward was fascinated with the piled stones. I hadn't seen him this animated before. Edward was almost bouncing from rock to rock in his excitement. He seemed to have forgotten about the thin air, because he was now pulling me up higher. His eyes were bright with curiosity, and he wanted to inspect every corner. I struggled to keep up with him.

I showed him the few things I knew about the ruins—the kitchens and the turret, which had been the tallest on the castle. I took Edward to the ancient cemetery where many of my ancestors were buried. We also explored on our own, looking at whatever caught our attention. While we were up there, a thick mist began to settle amongst the mountain crags. It hid parts of the ruin from view and completely obscured the valley below. We had to slow down and be careful. Finally we just took a seat on a still standing portion of the low wall.

"You were right." Edward gasped. "This was officially worth it. Thank you."

I blushed under his intense gaze. "You're welcome."

"How did you know all this was up here?" he asked after finally catching his breath.

"I told you, my grandfather used to take me up here." I took Edward's hand and laced our fingers together. "He had a degree in history, so he loved the ruins. No one else even knows they're up here. On summer days, we came here to explore. He made me promise when I became queen to have it protected. It needs it. When I was a child there was more of it standing. Each season a little more of it gets knocked down."

"This castle must have been huge, and so high up?" Edward muttered.

"There's a painting of it in the Palace. I'll show you sometime. You really like it?"

"Are you kidding?" He grinned down at me, and I had no choice but to believe him. "I love it. It's fantastic."

I snuggled closer against his side, soaking up the warmth and comfort of his touch. It was much colder up here than it had been down below, and the wind carried with it the wet mists. "Not many do. Alice and Rosalie hate it. I like it. It's quiet and sort of sad."

Edward kissed the crown of my head as I shivered. "We should probably get going. I don't want you getting sick."

"Wait." I pulled him back down onto the wall and made sure he was looking at me. "There was something I wanted to tell you. I want you to know that you're the only person, other than Alice and Rosalie, that I've brought up here. I know you're still jealous of Jacob, but you're the one I still want to show all my secrets to."

He smiled and I swear there were tears in his eyes. He cupped my check, and brought my lips to his in a slow, gentle kiss. I tangled my hands into his hair in order to hold him there. His kiss was slow, romantic, and just the thing I had been hoping for. Unfortunately, the thin air didn't really lend itself for kissing. We had to pull away far too quickly. Still, we remained close for a while, and every couple of minutes he would lean in for another. I curled into him, needing his touch. I didn't know when I was going to be out with him again. I was going to make the most of it, lack of air be damned.

It was Edward who finally put a stop our actions. His breathing was worse than mine, and he just couldn't handle it. He was panting like he had run a marathon. I took sympathy on him and pulled him to his feet. "Come on." I laughed. "Let's go get you some air."

He nodded and followed me down the mountain.


	22. Cosmic Love

**A/N: **Not gonna say much here other than I suck and much love to StateofDelusion for putting up with me.

* * *

**Chapter 22**

**Cosmic Love**

_I took the stars from your eyes and then I made a map,_

_And I knew that somehow I could find my way back._

_Then I heard your heart beating, you were in the darkness too._

_So I stayed in the darkness with you._

_The stars, the moon, they have all been blown out._

_You left me in the dark._

_No dawn, no day, I'm always in this twilight,_

_In the shadow of your heart._

_-Florance and the Machine_

**BPOV**

The lower we got, the better he began to breath. By the time we got back to the meadow we had been in earlier, he was almost back to normal. He smiled and pulled me into his arms. I wound my arms around his waist and leaned into him. I got lost in his gorgeous, deep eyes, completely enamored with him. He leaned down to kiss me. The sun warmed my skin, the breeze cooled it, and the touch of his fingertips against me was sending goose bumps up my arms.

"Thank you, Bella," he whispered against my lips. "I'm sorry I couldn't stand it up there anymore. It was beautiful, amazing. Thank you so much."

I grinned up at him, thrilled he had enjoyed my surprise. I had been nervous about the ruins, unsure if he would find them interesting or not. "You should really thank Alice. It was her idea to get us out of the Palace, and since Jacob was out of the country this weekend, it was the perfect time to do it."

Edward's face darkened, and I realized my mistake. I did my best not to mention Jacob, because it brought about one of two realities. It either made Edward sad and depressed or it made him mad. This time it was the later. His eyes became sharp blades of jade, and his hands clenched into fists. I sighed. I didn't want or need this argument right now. I preferred when he got sad; it was easier to fix—a hug, a kiss, and some reassurance, and he was fine. When he became angry, it always escalated into an augment, and I hated it.

"Edward, can we please not do this right now?" I sighed, completely exasperated. "Just once can we talk about this without getting angry with each other. Or better yet, can we just forget it?"

"I'm never angry with you, Bella," he muttered under his breath. "Believe me, I understand. We have to have some kind of cover. You can't come out and be with me. I get it. And no, I can't just forget it. He's got you when I don't. Forgive me, but I think I've a little right to be upset."

I fought the urge to roll my eyes. I was the one who had go through all of this. I was the one who had to balance a double life-the public one with Jacob and the private one with Edward-and yet you didn't see me flying off the handle. "Perhaps so, Edward," I answered. "But you should remember that I'm doing this for us, and I don't like it any more than you do."

"You and Jacob were looking pretty cozy at the Court a couple days ago."

I gasped as the words left his mouth. I couldn't believe what he was insinuating. He knew I didn't feel that way about Jacob, that he was the only one allowed in my bed, and yet he'd said it anyway. I felt a sharp spike of pain slice through me. Tears stung my eyes, and I couldn't decide if they were tears of anguish or tears of anger. Maybe they were both. All I did know was that I suddenly didn't want to look at Edward's face. I yanked myself out of his arms, putting distance between us, and bravely meeting his eyes. His face was horror stricken as if he hadn't meant to say that out loud and had just realized that he had. If I had been any less mad at him, I would have taken sympathy on him. As it was, I was too hurt and not in the mood to forgive him yet.

"You know better, Edward, and you know it." He meekly lowered his eyes, but I wasn't about to let him off the hook. "I have told you, and told you, and told you that I don't feel that way about Jacob, but you continue to not listen to me. I don't care about Jacob as anything other than a friend, and when, when not if, he finds out what I'm doing, he won't even want me that way. I don't care about anyone but you, Edward. Now please leave me alone for a little while."

Just before I turned to walk away, his face crumbled with remorse. I marched part way down the slope and sat underneath a tall green tree. I didn't know how it all went downhill so fast. One minute we holding each other kissing, and the next we were yelling at each other. This had become increasingly common lately. Both of our tempers were short, and we both flew off the handle far too easily. Our volatile emotions had us both wound tight. We were either fighting or madly making love. Today was the most peaceful day we had spent together in almost a month, and even that had descended into another fight. I didn't know what to do. We weren't ready to come out yet. The Court would have a field day, and we would be forced apart. Edward would be forced to leave, and I would be held captive in my own home. They wouldn't put up with another stunt like my mothers. We were trapped between a rock and a hard place with no way out in sight.

I brushed stray tears off my checks and looked up at the sky. The weather had darkened with my mood. The fog and mists we had encountered further up the mountain had become full dark clouds, threatening rain. There wasn't enough time to get back down the mountain to shelter, so I remained in my position under the tree as the first few raindrops began to fall.

I wondered if this was how my mother felt before she left my father. I had always blamed her for leaving Charlie, but if this was anything like what she went through, then I couldn't keep blaming her. It would be far too easy to call this off and let it go. I may have loved him, but it may not have been enough. I didn't believe that, but I also knew all too well that love often wasn't enough.

My heart pounded painfully in my chest as I finally gave up and began sobbing. I tried to hold the tears back so that I didn't appear weak as I was certain that Edward was somewhere within eyesight. He would never let me truly be alone out here, but he gave me my space. I was crying because I was hurt, because I was lost, and because I suddenly felt powerless against everything I was up against. As if to prove just how powerless I was, the clouds opened up and the rain came down in sheets. I was soaked within seconds.

Edward gave me a few minutes before he approached me. He didn't touch me, but he did sit down next to me. He didn't say anything, waiting on me to look at him. When I did, I realized that he looked a mess. His hair was dark and plastered to his head, fat rain drops falling into his face. His eyes were red and puffy, but I couldn't tell if he was crying . His eyes were anguished as he watched me. The only sound around us was the steady thud of the raindrops hitting the tree leaves and the ground.

"I'm sorry," he finally said in a low pained voice. "I should never have said that, much less thought it. I don't believe it, really I don't. I was just so angry that he gets to be with you all the time, and I don't. It just sort of slipped out. I wished I had a better excuse, but I don't. I never meant to hurt you, Bella. I'm just scared to lose you. You've become everything to me, and I don't think I know what to do without you. I am so sorry. Can you forgive me?"

Of course I would. The pain was still there, compounded by all the things I had mused over since I had left him. Still I loved him and needed him just as much as it seemed he needed him. I nodded and moved so that I was sitting right next to him. Laying my head against his shoulder, I tried to control my breathing so I could talk to him. He wrapped an arm around my waist and pressed his lips to my face, kissing away the rain drops and tears.

I traced the features of his wet face as I tried to find words to explain what I felt. "Of course, I forgive you. I understand why you feel that way, I really do. It's the same feeling I get every time I see Tanya trying to get your attention."

"Like someone just pulled the rug out from under you feet and punched you in the gut all at the same time?" He asked with a sad smile.

"Something like that," I muttered. "We can't keep doing this though, Edward. This is the exact thing that happened to my parents. I can't let that happen. I know it's hard, but please promise me you won't let this tear us a part. I need you, I really do and…"

Edward cut off my rambling by pressing his lips to mine. I enthusiastically returned his kiss, trying to erase our earlier transgressions. Edward pulled away, keeping my face in his hands. "Bella, calm down." Edward rested his forehead against mine, entrapping me within his. "Relax, Love. It's okay. We'll get through this. I don't know how yet, but we will. I'm not leaving or going anywhere, and I'm not letting you do that either. I need you to, Isabella."

Normally I hated my full name, but from his lips it sounded like music. I threw my arms around his neck and buried my face in his collar. He knotted his fingers into my wet hair while wrapping his arm around my waist and pulling me close. He hummed into my ear having learned this was the easiest way to calm me. "We'll make it through this, My Love. It'll be okay," he whispered into my ear before beginning to hum my lullaby.

"How do you always know what to say?" I mumbled into his neck.

"Obviously, I don't." He laughed. "I'm sorry I ruined our day. I'll try to reign myself in. It's just the thought of him with you makes me go a little crazy."

"I miss you when I'm with him," I told him. "I wish it were you when he holds my hand or when we take walks through the gardens. This sucks on both ends, Edward."

"I know."

The rain was beginning to taper off, slowing to just the occasional drop or two. The sun was trying to come out, but it was so far down in the west that it hardly got a chance to really shine. The wind had also picked up. Between the chilly air and our wet state, I was really cold. I shivered in Edward's arms when a particularly strong gust blew by.

"Are you cold?" he asked. "I think it's time to head back to the Palace. I don't want you getting sick"

I allowed him to pull me back to my feet. We started back down the valley, hand in hand.

By the time we managed to stumble through the hidden door into my bedroom, I was distinctly uncomfortable. My hair was still wet and dripping down my back, and my shirt and jeans were water logged, making me feel heavy. It was hard to walk in wet clothes, and I was still cold.

Edward went immediately to the fireplace and began building a fire to provide some much needed warmth, but I had a better idea in mind. "I'm going to take a bath."

Edward looked up at me. I think he was startled by my voice. We hadn't spoken much after we had left the tree. I didn't want to forget everything that happened. I just wanted to move forward, and I wanted Edward back. "Would you like to join me?"

His eyes lit up with warmth rather than the haunted hallow look he had been carrying for almost an hour. I was glad to have him back. "I would love to. Just let me get this started."

I nodded. "Okay, I'll just go get the bath drawn." Alice had promised us privacy all through the night so we weren't taking any risks. Over the last several months my bedroom had become our sanctuary. This was where we met, talked, and slept. It was the one place where we didn't have to hide. The outer sitting room generated some of the same feelings, but they weren't as strong. The sitting room wasn't as private and anymore, including Jacob, could come knocking at any time. It was where I entertained and did business. The bedroom was ours. No one came in here except for occasionally Alice or Rosalie. It was our haven in a storm tossed sea.

As soon as I was in the bathroom, I wiggled out of my jeans. They were sticking to me like Velcro, and I had to peel them off almost like a second skin. When I did I felt much lighter. I filled the tub with water and bubbles. As soon as it was full, I stripped out of the rest of my clothes and sank into the warm water. I sighed in pleasure as the warmth seeped into my chilled body. It felt wonderful. I lay back and closed my eyes with a moan, almost forgetting about Edward.

I didn't hear Edward come in, but I could feel his presence like a tug when he knelt next to tub. He rested his arm on the edge and placed his chin on top of them, watching me. I smiled softly at him. "What's wrong?" I finally asked.

"Nothing." He shrugged and reached out to trace the curve of my cheek and jaw, and I leaned into the touch. "I was just enjoying watching you. You're rarely so content. It's fascinating. I'm really sorry I ruined our outing. I overreacted and ruined our afternoon."

I leaned part way out of the tub and captured his lips with mine. I cut off his self-deprecating rambling, having no intentions of hearing it and allowing him to believe whatever he had convinced himself of. "It's okay, Edward. Nothing about this is perfect, I know that. Besides, you didn't ruin anything. It was still a wonderful afternoon. I needed it, and I'm sure you did to. Now, come join me in this tub. It's lonely without you."

I pretended to pout, and he laughed softly. I could still see the sadness lingering in his eyes, but it was hidden by his adoration for me. He stood up, swiftly stripped, and slid in behind me. I settled between his legs with my back to his chest. He wrapped one arm around my waist, while the other entwined with the fingers of my right hand. I was suddenly fascinated by the sight of his long, musical fingers twisted around my own smaller digits. There was something slightly erotic about it. The way they reached around and grasped, holding my fingers in a gentle hold. Between the feeling of skin and warm water, I found myself aching for his touch. Still, I didn't want to him to think that I did all this for the sex. So I calmed my racing heart and tried to ignore the fire building in my stomach. Of course, his fingers tracing shapes on my belly didn't help, sending a shiver of passion up my spine.

"Are you okay?" he asked, feeling my gasp. "Is the water to cold?"

"No, I'm fine," I lied. I rested the back of my head on his shoulder and tried to control my body a little better. When his fingers resumed their tracing, I knew I needed a distraction. "So, what was your favorite part of the day?"

"Hmm," he mused and buried his nose into my hair. "Kissing you on the remains of an ancient wall is certainly a highlight."

Damn, he wasn't helping. I wondered if he knew what he was doing to me? It certainly wouldn't surprise me. As it was, it was one of the best parts of my day as well. I smiled and glanced up to his face. "Yeah, that was probably one of my favorites as well. Did you like anything else?"

I felt him shrug underneath me. "To be honest, apart for the obvious part, I loved everything about today. Thank you and please remind me to thank Alice as well."

"You and me both." I snorted.

Silence descended over us. It wasn't tense nor was there any agitation. We were simply together, locked in an embrace and content with that. When Edward began humming again, I was lulled almost to sleep. Then I realize that I had the perfect example to explain the difference between what I had with him and what I had with Jacob.

I pulled our intertwined hands out of the water so that we could both see them. My thumb made circles around his palm, soothing the pair of us so that I could bring up Jacob without starting another fight. "You know why you never have to worry about me and Jacob?" I asked softly.

Edward tensed just slightly, but he didn't say anything, just shook his head stiffly. I squeezed his hands to reassure him that I was with him and no one else. I felt his lips smile into my neck. "No, I don't, Bella."

"Because Jacob and I would never do this." I waved our interlocked hands vaguely in front of us. "Anything we would ever have would be purely physical. We would never sit in a tub and do nothing, or hike up a trail just to explore some old ruins. Why would I give up this for that?" I smiled up at him, begging him to understand what I was saying.

To my surprise he smiled down at me. "You think I'm better than all that?"

"Much better," I muttered just before his lips pressed into mine. Our tongues tangled in sweet passion, both of us moaning. Edward's hands trailed along my waist and stomach causing me to shudder in his arms. My skin felt like it was on fire, and I was no longer cold. I tangled my hand in his hair and tried to press myself closer to him. I whimpered when he pulled away from me and rested his forehead against mine.

"Breathe, Bella." He grinned as I pouted. I was surrounded by him—his body, his smell—and I wanted to be with him. I was already aching for his touch. "We have all night, my love. Be patient."

I sighed but settled back into his arms. We remained there in the tub, talking softly and sharing the briefest of touches. When the water began to cool Edward helped me climb out without tripping on the tile. He then left me to check on the fire in the other room. I dried off with a towel and pulled on a deep blue silk dressing grown. It only came to the top of my thighs, but it hadn't failed yet to get a reaction out of Edward. He loved the color against my skin. He said it made my pale skin look luminescent. I didn't know if that was true, but he liked it, and I was horny, so I wasn't going to complain. I grabbed my brush off the sink and made my way back to the bedroom and Edward.

The curtain was thrown open revealing the mountains, illuminated by the moon and the inky black sky. There was a strong fire going in the fireplace, and it was the only light in the room. Edward had pulled one of my heavy wingback chairs in front of the fireplace where it was warmest. He was already sitting there, staring into the yellow and red flames. When he heard me coming, he turned to look at me. His eyes went wide and dark, and I knew my plan had worked. His Adam's apple bobbed as he gulped. I bit my lip and tired not to grin.

"I need to brush my hair," I said coyly, waving the brush in my hand. "I'll be right back."

Edward swallowed and tried to take his eyes off my legs. "Come here. I'll do it." He looked a little nervous, and his eyes were still dark.

"Do you know how to brush hair?" I asked suspiciously. "You never brush yours after all."

"I try to brush mine. It just doesn't ever stay that way." He tugged on my waist and placed me between his legs with my back to his chest. "And yes, I have brushed hair before. I used to brush Victoria's all the time."

I stiffened at the mention of Edward's ex-fiancé. If I ever got the pleasure to meet her, I would kill her. She had broken his heart by cheating on him. Although, I supposed I should have been happy. She had given him up which had allowed me to have him. Still, I hated her for hurting him.

Edward brushed my hair over my shoulder and placed his chin there. "See, not so nice now is it?"

He began kissing up the column of my neck as I put together what he had said. He had brought up Victoria to show me how he reacted to Jacob. It was a bit underhanded, but he had a point.

I sighed and rested my head back against his shoulder. "Okay, okay I get the point. I'm sorry."

He placed one last kiss on my throat before pulling away and taking the brush from my hand. "It's all right, I forgive you. Just trust me okay?"

"Okay." He gave me a quick kiss and began brushing through my thick hair. He parted it into individual sections and then brushed through each section. He took more care than I usually did. It felt wonderful. I didn't usually like someone else brushing my hair. I didn't even like Renee, Alice, or Rose doing it. With Edward, it was very different. It was very relaxing. I settled against him and watched the flames. Edward was silent as he worked, and when he was done, my hair was thick and glossy.

"Wow, you weren't kidding when you said you knew how to do this." I ran my hand through my hair and marveled at the texture. "Thank you."

"You're welcome, my love." He wrapped his arms around my waist and held me back against his chest. "Now what is this about your outfit?"

I shrugged, unwilling to expose my secret. "It's comfortable. What other reason do I need?"

Edward laughed and traced the edge of my gown along my upper thighs. "Bella, to you comfortable is a ratty t-shirt and sweat pants. This, although I do like it, is something else. What are you doing?"

"Is it hard to figure out, Edward?" I smirked and he grinned.

"You've come a long way from the shy girl I first met. Now you're trying to seduce me."

"I am so past trying." I turned around so that I could straddle his waist. His hands found my waist and held me up as he rubbed the silk. "I've wanted this all day, Edward. I need you."

His lips found mine in a sweet, searing kiss. I pressed myself into him, knotting my fingers into the hair at the base off his neck. Edward's hands trailed up my back while his tongue fought with mine for dominance. I needed a breath and threw my head back, gasping. Edward attacked my throat, being careful not to suck or bite to hard. His hand moved to my hips, which he pulled down flush with his thighs. I could feel him through the material of his boxers. I moaned as he guided my hips to grind against him. There was so little separating us, and I could feel it. The silk of my gown wasn't long enough to come between us. I could feel him, long and hard beneath me. I shook against him and sighed.

Edward's hands remained firmly planted at my hips, guiding the way my body ran against him. His eyes were deep green and burning with passion. I began gasping for breath as my clit brushed against him. I moaned his name, lost in the feeling of us.

"Is this what you wanted?" he panted, pulling my ear lobe into his mouth. I tried to shake my head. "Say it, Bella," he rasped into my ear.

"No," I moaned.

"Do you want me to stop," he asked, smirking. He thrust his hips up to meet mine. "Answer, Bella."

"No," I shrieked. He couldn't stop. I was too close. It may not have been what I wanted to begin with, but the night was young. I had plenty of time. I ground myself harder down on him but just couldn't seem to get that extra little push.

Finally, Edward took pity on me and trailed his fingers down to my curls. He took my clit in a slippery hold and began teasing me. I moaned and rocked against his fingers. I gripped his shoulders for support, while he wound an arm around to the small of my back, holding me steady as I reached my climax.

I came with his name on my lips. I shook as the pleasure coursed through my limbs. Edward kept a hold of my clit, prolonging the experience. When I was spent, I collapsed against his chest. I tried to catch my breath though my limbs felt like jelly. "That may not have been what I wanted, but I'll take it."

Edward laughed and kept me tucked against his chest. "I didn't think you would complain. To be honest, it was really was rather fun teasing you like that." He sounded almost as breathless as I was. I could still feel him beneath me, hard and solid. A new spike of desire shot through me.

"I can tell," I said, squirming in his lap. His cock twitched, and I grinned. We kissed again. Edward knotted his hand in my thick hair. My hands trailed down his chest, brushing against the soft hair. When my fingertips ran over his nipples, he gasped into my mouth and one of his hands left my hair to knead my backside. I was slowly rocking against him again. I wasn't going to let him take over this time.

I pulled away from his lips and sat up. Edward's eyes were dark as he watched me, his chest heaving from the breaths he was taking. Keeping his gaze, I untied the ribbon that held my robe together and let it fall. I was completely bare before him. His dark eyes widened, and I felt my nipples respond to both the chilly air and his gaze.

Gently he reached up and began kneading my breast. I sighed and laid my head back. Edward leaned forward and captured my nipple in his mouth, suckling me into him. He continued his motions on my other breast, and I moaned. He pulled me back down on top of him, and I could feel every ridge of his hard cock. When he twitched, I shook and groaned against him. I wanted him inside me and over me. I wanted him to be one with me.

I pushed him away from my breast and kissed him. One of his hands traveled down my stomach. It stopped just above my curls, making me gasp with his almost touch. The room was filled with our sighs and moans. My hands were on the waistband of his boxers, and his hips were flexing up, trying to find my entrance. His fingers slipped through my curls and rubbed sweet circles around my clit.

I pulled away from his lips and planted a trail of kisses from his jaw to his ear. Edward began working on my neck and collarbone while continuing his pressure on my clit. I sighed into his ear and said, "Make love to me, Edward."

For a moment all motion stopped. It was the first time either of us had used the word love to describe what we were doing. It was the first time we had used that word at all. I had stayed away from it, knowing Edward needed space and time to adjust. However, I was tired of hiding. It wasn't like we weren't doing it anyway. We had never simply fucked. There was too much emotion behind it to call it that. It was time to rock the boat a little and see where it got us.

I went back to kiss his still lips. Slowly he began to respond. Out tongues met and an ancient dance began. Swiftly, he picked me up and carried me to the bed where he laid me out on my back before climbing on top of me. His mouth and fingers found my nipples, and I sighed. My hand trailed down his back to push at his boxers. He pulled away from me long enough to discard them and then returned to my breast.

I moaned as his tongue flicked over my nipples, every touch sending shock waves to my core. His fingers brushed against my folds, and I almost cried out in relief. It still wasn't what I wanted though, and I was getting inpatient. I used his hair to pull him back up to my lips. Our lips met hungrily as he ground his cock against me. I spread my legs wider and tried to get him closer to my entrance. Our sighs made our kisses harder, but I didn't mind in the least. The only thing I could think about was the feeling of his body against mine.

When he began pushing into me, I broke apart with a moan. Edward propped himself up on his arms and stared down at me, his eyes dark and mouth open and gasping for breath. I met his fiery, passionate gaze and flexed my hips, drawing him farther into me. I wrapped my legs around his waist and rocked, encouraging him to move.

"Edward," I cried when he did. I dug my nails into his back and pulled them back up. Edward hissed and pulled away from my neck. I had learned by accident that he liked the scratching. His dark eyes were full of lust and, if I was reading it right, love.

His thrusts changed, becoming deeper and harder. His finger moved down my body and began rolling my clit with his thumb. I came with his name on my lips, though it sounded more like a cry to the heavens. I shook against him and could feel him struggling to hold on to his rhythm to prolong my pleasure. He finally gave up, just as I beginning to come down.

Edward collapsed on top of me. I was completely surrounded by him and his unique smell. We were both gasping for breath. Edward had his face buried in my neck and hair. I wanted to run my fingers through his hair, but I couldn't make myself move.

Edward rose up on his forearms with a grunt and kissed me gently. In some ways this kiss was better than the sex had just been. Not that the sex had been bad, it had been wonderful, but it was just this kiss was soft, slow, and adoring. More than anything else, it was reassuring. Edward was telling me without words that he loved me and understood that I would never do anything to hurt him, but some things in the past are hard to forget. I told him that I loved him, would wait for him, and forgave him.

When he pulled away from me, he rolled over and pulled me into his arms so that he was spooning me. I used his arm as a pillow and closed my eyes. His other arm circled my waist and pulled me close. I could feel his lips press several quick kisses to the back of my head.

"Was that what you wanted?" he asked, sounding almost asleep.

"Everything and more," I told him. I could almost feel him grin as I mumbled, "Good night, Edward" just before the darkness over took me.

* * *

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